Comments about the Opposite Sex Homework




Comments by Men


HOMEWORK INSTRUCTIONS

WORTH 10 POINTS


This is a writing assignment. Please do not write your name on your paper; instead, put the last 4 digits of your student ID # at the top of the page. Use a word processing software program (such as MS Word) to write your paper.

You comments will remain confidential -- I will not match your paper with your name.

Your paper should be between about 2 to 5 pages long. It will not be graded -- you will get full credit as long as you take this exercise seriously.

Print a copy of your paper, and give it to me at the next class session.

Later in the semester, we will review and discuss the comments.

Please write as thoughtfully, clearly, perceptively, and honestly as possible. Your classmates will read your anonymous comments, and some of your comments may be selected for inclusion in a book I am writing. (If, for some reason, you do not want your classmates to read your anonymous comments, or you do not want your anonymous comments included in the book, please write a note indicating this at the top of your paper.)

There are no "right" or "wrong" answers. Simply describe, as honestly as possible, what you feel and think. Again, all of your comments will remain anonymous.

In contemplating the traits of the opposite sex in general, as a group, write one or two paragraphs to answer each of the following questions.
You do not need to include the question itself before your response. Also, think about what you actually like or dislike about the opposite sex IN GENERAL, not about the specific characteristics of one or two people you have known.

Also, you are writing about how you think the opposite sex actually is, not how might like them to be. Be honest -- don't try to censor your thoughts or worry whether they are politically correct.

When you are finished with your paper, save and print it.

Then you will need to also include your comments about the opposite sex with those of your classmates at our class wiki web site (see: http://drmillslmu.wikispaces.com/ ).

Log in. Click on our class, Psyc 310, and then click on Homework Assignment 1, (women's or men's responses, as appropriate.)

Click the "Edit This Page" button at the top of the page. Then scroll down to each question to paste in your response to that question, followed by the last four digits of your student ID. Click "Save" when you are done.



Note: If you are doing the "Reactions to the Comments by Men" homework, do NOT insert your results below. Instead insert them in the Reactions to Male Comments file.
Due to the small number of men in this class, insert your responses with the comments from several men in previous semesters of this class:


#1. Think about the previous interactions you have had with the opposite sex. Has a situation ever occurred with someone of opposite sex that you found deeply puzzling and/or incomprehensible? And which you also think is somehow a function of that person's gender (not just the specific individual involved)? If so, think about what happened, and the behaviors, cognitions, motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you found particularly puzzling


Fall 2017 class:

1

Please add your responses here at the top -- just after each question. Do that for the rest of the questions as well.




Spring 2017 class:

#1. When I was in high school all the girls in our prom group spent several hours preparing. They each spent so much time doing their makeup, hair, nails, preparing their dresses, etc. Meanwhile all the guys spent maybe half an hour at most to get ready. I found it really interesting that all the girls made such a massive production out of a school dance while all the guys did not seem to put as much thought into it. (8674)

1. I cannot seem to recall anything deeply puzzling to me or incomprehensible regarding the opposite sex. I was however quite surprised by how my friend reacted to a situation I describe in question 8. Please refer to question 8. In this situation, I could identify her motivations for reacting the way she did in avoiding a commitment with me as holding out and maintaining availability for a more desirable, higher status male in which she had fantasized a relationship with. She was pushed by her desire to attain the highest-level status possible at what she perceived to be the highest stakes event. She did not want to waste time or opportunity on a male with which she would not mate or forge a long-lasting relationship with. (9698)

1. One puzzling interaction that I have had with a girl occurred with one of my best friends throughout high school. During high school, our friendship became very flirty and we ended up dating each other for a while. However, when we broke up, she continued to treat and talk to me the same way that we did when we were together. She would make comments and gestures that seemed like she wanted to get back together, but even when I confronted her about it, she never gave a straight answer. I was confused as to why she could not just say yes or no and have allowed us to move on from there. (0242)

1) This happens to me all the time. Up until I moved to college I was mostly around women when I was home. My dad worked long hours so it was just my mom, my sisters, and I. Whenever one of them was on their period it was like walking on eggshells. There was absolutely nothing I could do or say that was right. One time specifically I remember telling my sister something so simple like, “let’s go do something. All you do is watch Netflix all day” and she just started crying. And when I asked her why she was crying she said she didn’t even know she just couldn’t help it. I was so puzzled that I kind of chuckled because it made absolutely no sense. She herself didn’t even understand why she was feeling so emotional. (1761)

#1. That they simply might not articulate their desires because they feel like if it came from the male without their asking it cannot fit into any version of a “perfect scenario”. This seems like an all-or-nothing fallacy to me, where the benefits of attaining whatever it may be that the female wants are, in most cases, forgone to keep alive the possibility that things will play out “perfectly” for the female and as imagined prior to even seeing what the context might be like. Such conditioning of oneself might inhibit genuine interactions between the partners, which would most probably serve to weaken the confidence of the male, and, therefore, might result in the female becoming upset without the male being able to figure out the source of that sadness. And in return the female might want (as a manifestation of the same all-or-nothing dilemma) the male to figure out the source of her sadness, preventing the male from taking steps towards solving the problem and getting increasingly angrier at the male in the process, while the male might have the desire to make things right but the ability to do so is taken away by the female. What is really puzzling to me in such situations is how females are able to justify to themselves and really make themselves believe (or at least appears that way) that males deserve punishment, which is usually in the form of becoming more restricted in their behavior towards them, for their desperate situation (I am not saying that the female is guilty either but that there is no winner in this game that females create and therefore blaming males for all the disappointment and sadness that come from playing it is irrational). From an adaptive perspective this self-conditioning behavior does not make sense to me but must work since it persists. (5966)

1. One thing that I have found is how common it is for women to be upset, irritable, or a mix of many emotions before their period. I always thought when I was younger that it was just a stereotype that men use to poke fun at women, but I have really seen it to be quite accurate. I have observed on many occasions girls, who are usually sweet and kind, to be actually snappy and mean. This observation comes before I even know that they are coming close to the start of their period too. This is definitely something that women experience and not men because women have such a high rush of hormones during this period that leads to the changes in mood. (3297)

1. There have been many instances in the past in which my girlfriend has expressed sudden jealousy and anger when I give attention to other people. Obviously, one could expect interactions with other girls to be a problem, with fears of undue flirting. However, this also occurs when I am giving attention to my male friends as well. While this could possibly be due in part to personality, I am convinced that it must mainly be an issue of gender. For one, I have had similar experiences with other women in my life ( e.g. my mom). Also, I cannot think of any male friend, family member, or acquaintance who has ever remotely displayed such a reaction.
The most puzzling part of this is that these bouts of jealousy seem to often occur right after moments of pure contentment or intimacy between my girlfriend and I. It literally feels like there is a switch on the back of the head that turns on the bad vibes. With my mom, it seems to be more of a surpressed indignation over the family's general lack of appreciation for her efforts as a provider and organizer. When times are good, there's no mention of any problem. However, as soon as a dish is broken, or a trash bag is not taken out, there is hell to pay for how hard she strives to help the family "survive", and how little I or my father do to assist in the campaign. (0645)


1. My senior year of Highschool, my friend’s girlfriend got into a huge fight with her friend because their prom dresses were too similar. While I assumed such a minor dilemma wouldn’t really be an issue, it resulted in our 40 person prom group splitting apart because each girl refused to be seen with each other. They each created their own new prom groups and tried to recruit as many couples from the original group as possible. As one could imagine, this created even more drama as now girls who weren't at all involved in this dress dispute were now forced to choose between these competing groups. Throughout all this chaos that ruined friendships, me and the majority of my male friends are looking to one another in awe. None of us really cared for the situation and rather were going to just go with whatever group our dates felt most comfortable with. My guess for all of this would be the vast amounts of estrogen in a female's body during puberty caused for a drastic and emotional thought process. (5768)


1. A situation that has been confusing to me, with the opposite sex, is when you are out with a female and they get offended or upset when you make a comment about another female or just look at another female. It makes me wonder if they are really that insecure about themselves that they have to be made to thought they are the only female in the universe the moment they are with you. The thought process which females have puzzles me. What could they possibly be thinking that they think they are not guilty of finding other people attractive, they are also just human. The only difference is they don’t say anything and may observe someone of the opposite sex more discretely. When it comes down to it all I can think of to explain this is that they would rather just not know what we really think and just want to know and see what makes them, feel secure. Personally I don’t mind a female looking at someone else or making a comment, this make me feel more trusting of them since they don’t feel the need to hide things. (6163)

1. It seems as though women drop very subtle hints as to whether they consider you a friend or as something more. Most of which are ambiguous and difficult to decipher. I feel as though I must make the move and interpret them correctly as males must be viewed as the aggressor in pursuing a relationship. It’s hard because you don’t want to overstep your boundaries and make things awkward. I think women don’t ever want to be the aggressor and so must send out subtle hints to not appear that way. They also tend to date assholes. (4073)

1. I have a friend who may be the sweetest girl in the world. She is very smart and usually gives my friends, male and female, good advice about dating and relationships. However she has a propensity for falling for guys who are complete assholes and who treat her like shit. She currently likes this guy who a majority of our mutual friends feel is a douche bag. He is rude and inconsiderate not only to her but to us as well. The kicker is that this guy is not even particularly attractive. I think this just goes to show that even the best girls have a thing for arrogant, rude assholes. I just can’t comprehend why women are attracted to men who treat them so badly. (7737)


1. I went on a date with a girl and at the end of the date, she asked me to drop her off at a place near her house. I was confused by this incident and it had me pondering a lot about the situation. Did she think I was a stalker? Is she self-conscious about her house? I narrowed down the possibilities to those two but I am still not sure to this day. I think it would be a function of her gender because I think females worry about their safety more than men do. I know if I were in that situation, I would definitely ask my date to drop me off at my house. Even if she was a stalker, I am confident I would be able to defend myself. I wouldn’t be too self-conscious about my house because if it somehow affected the way she viewed me, then I would know she isn’t right for me anyway. (5835)

1. One situation that confused me about the opposite sex was when a female friend and I got in an argument about whether or not we had feeling for each other. We had been friends for about over a year and I feel we got along together very well. We had common interests and we both were able to open up to each other. It was very easy to have a conversation with her. Over time however, our relationship began to change. I felt that she was becoming more distant and we were drifting apart as friends. One day I finally decided to confront her about this and she said that she had feelings for me. She said that it should have been obvious to me that she liked me, and that I was being insensitive to her feelings. I was shocked when she said this because I had no idea that she felt this way about me, and from the interaction I had with her, I just felt that we were really close friends. Unfortunately though I did not feel the same way about her as she felt about me. She was very upset about my response and decided that she didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. I was very upset that our good friendship fell apart, and even though I feel I did everything I could to salvage our relationship, she was not willing to patch things up. Looking back at this situation I feel that she may have reacted the way that she did because from what I am aware, females are more in touch with their emotional side than men. I’m assuming because of the emotional investment she had in me and because she felt that I ignored her feelings, she was extremely hurt. I on the other hand did not think things would get to the point that they did because I am not very in tune with my emotions. I may not have been as empathetic as she needed me to be, and in turn, I pushed her away. (8355)


1. Though I admit that a person’s gender dictates their socialization and from their socialization their behavior, there are very few interactions that I have had with the opposite sex that I find deeply puzzling or incomprehensible and can be directly attributed to their sex. I feel like I am a lot more comfortable with women compared to my peers because I grew up surrounded by five aunts and ten female cousins until my early teens. As such, there are few gender or sex-specific behaviors that I find puzzling or incomprehensible that I would immediately attribute to their sex or gender. (6438)


1. A situation has occurred with someone of the opposite sex that I found puzzling and it appears to be a trait that is much more common with girls than it is with guys. As a male who has had close female friends, I’ve noticed that my close female friends tend to become jealous of one another. Now this would make sense if they were physically or romantically interested in me but in almost all of the occasions, they haven’t been. It’s odd for me that this happens even though they don’t have feelings for me and it’s strictly platonic. Not only would the jealously be apparent they would be catty to one another while we were all together, or just refuse to be around me while the other was present. (0150)

1. To be honest I have been sitting here recalling interactions with women in the past even ones that may have been puzzling at the time and I cannot say any of them still stump me today. Other responses mention irritability, jealousy, insecurity, ect. but those are all emotions I have felt in my life as a man and were all justifiable in context when I would encounter a woman experiencing them. Even though the justifications may have been irrational I know many a time I have justified sans rationality. All I can say is I didn’t see any of those reactions as a result of gender because I could understand them as the reactions of a human placed in a gendered culture. Don’t get me wrong, I believe there are karyotype and phenotype differences in male and female psychology that may lead to different intensities of behaviors, cognitions, motivations, or emotions but I can see those same differences of intensity from male to male as from male to female. (6275)

1. Based on my previous interactions with the opposite sex, there have been situations where I was left confused and deeply puzzled. For example, my first fight with my first girlfriend was one of the most stressful situations of my teenage years. Presently, I cannot remember what exactly we were fighting about and neither did my past self. She left me guessing and it was so torturous that the Geneva Convention might have tried to ban it. I had to consult a mutual friend for wisdom on how to get out of this grave I was digging for myself. My girlfriend at the time was distant and emotional. I faced a lot of hostility in her tone, body language, and aura. Generally, I believe if a woman has anger towards you, she will let you know. Also, she will purposely not tell you why she is angry (or even angry at all) as some kind of test of love or electric chair of passive-aggressiveness. (2691)

I have had several puzzling encounters with the opposite sex but most of them can be understood through differences in biology/ chemistry/ psychology. One thing that I encounter often with females is expressing rudeness/avoidance to me only to find out later that they were actually interested and wanted to talk to me. One idea that came up in the first class was women expecting men to be able to read their minds, but when a person’s body language demonstrates complete disinterest then only the most hard-headed or outspoken men will approach them. (8832)

  1. In my last relationship, which lasted two years of college, my ex would sometimes get extremely emotionally unstable for no reason. What I find incomprehensible about women is their seemingly random emotional extremes. Small meaningless actions can spark strong responses that seem irrational to men. (2908)
Up until college, I went to school with my sister. The product of these many years together, attending the same school gave me insight on another perspective on the experience. Throughout the years, numerous events and ‘moments’ would happen that would make me question the difference between males and females. I would often be left thinking, “this does not seem like a big deal” or I would make suggests on how to resolve conflicts that arose between her friend groups. She would always say something to the extent of “You do not get it.” or “It does not work like that.” I feel like my disconnect is largely based and originates from the gender roles and socialization that happens upon the two sexes. I think from early age, males and females are taught different ways they ought to act and behave, which results in the problems and this perceived difference that we have today (I believe it only to be perpetuated by social norms and gender roles..)

Question 1. One situation in particular that always confuses me is when I hear girls say that they like “bad boys.” It has always baffled me that girls want a guy who is either ‘player,’ rude, cocky, disrespectful, and overly aggressive. In many cases when girls end up in relationships with these types of guys, they usually suffer and regret being in the relationship. It also confuses me when girls say, “nice guys finish last,” because I don’t understand why being with a nice guy would be a bad thing. I’m sure there is something alluring about a “bad boy,” but I would think that would only be in a sexual context. When it comes to long-term relationship, I don’t understand why it would be smart to waste your time with a guy who doesn’t seem to treat anybody with decency or respect. (4788)




#2. In general, what do you like about the opposite sex? What do you dislike? Again, think of the opposite sex in general, as they actually are, not how you might like them to be different.

2. I love that women can listen intently, deeply, and give good advice. I love that I can usually feel comforted by some sort of interaction with a woman, especially my mom. I especially enjoy their desire to nurture and support, as I feel like I can be open and real with women. I also appreciate how much effort they put into looking their best. I don’t particularly appreciate how they can be so petty or judgmental towards other women they may be competing with. I can be put off by how manipulative they can be towards others. (9698)

#2. I like how open to talking they tend to be. My most emotionally deep conversations are often with my friends who are girls. They are more open to really discussing how they feel and tend to be more empathetic than guys are. I do not like that, in my experience, they will not be as straight forward as my guy friends. There are times when being direct and not beating around the bush are preferred and I have not gotten that as much with the women in my life. Also, I have noticed significantly more willingness by my girl friends to engage in gossip and putting down other people in a very manipulative and sneaky way. (8674)

2. There are several things that I like about women, however, the thing that sticks out to me the most is the effort that they put into everything they do. Women tend to put in more effort than men do when it comes to appearances, relationships, and any work or activity that they are participating in. They also have a more nurturing and caring nature than men do which makes it easier and better to go to my friends that are girls when problems arise in my life. I dislike how self-critical they can be and how judgmental they can be towards others. I also dislike how they tend to over analyze every situation and rarely listen to guys when they are trying to help them. (0242)

2)One thing I like about women is, for the most part, they’re often more petite and dainty compared to men. This makes me feel masculine like I want to protect them. I like that they’re generally way more organized although this can also get really annoying if they try to impose their ways on me. I like that women are much more caring and nurturing. It’s always nice to have someone take care of you when you’re sick. For example, last fall I got really sick. I had a high fever and couldn’t even get out of bed. One of the girls down the hall whom I was good friends with took the time to walk to the store and buy me soup and orange juice and bring it to my room. Later that night she even made me hot tea. There is absolutely no way I would ever ask the majority of my guy friends to do that. Maybe one or two but that’s it. Nor would any of my guy friends ever feel the desire to do something like that out of the kindness of their heart like she did. Most of my guy friends would just say, “Damn. Hope you feel better bro,” and move on with their day. I also like that girls always smell good. Especially their hair. The shampoos they use are so fruity and warm and soft and everything that’s good in the world. It’s so soothing to smell. What I don’t like about girls is how they overthink almost everything. A simple sentence can turn into a few days of worrying for them. They’ll sit there and think forever about what it could’ve meant and what else that person was thinking when they said it. That can be really annoying. I also don’t like the way they talk about each other behind each other’s backs and then act like best friends in person. I feel like generally girls are much faker towards one another because they have a greater fear of confrontation. I think they fear making someone else feel uncomfortable or maybe they don’t want to make themselves feel uncomfortable. Instead of being straight up they put on a smile and then gossip about how they really feel later and this bothers me a lot. (1761)

#2. I like that they pay attention to their looks and are therefore pleasing to look at. This makes it fun for me to talk to/interact with them and conveys the message that they want males to feel attracted/drawn to them, since they pay attention to their looks mainly for males (at least that is what I think the main reason behind that is), and as most people, male or female, would agree, feeling wanted is a great feeling. I also like that females tend to seem like they enjoy being unassertive when it comes to their interactions with males (and this is most probably a product of society and how females and males are raised). I dislike that females tend to be more dramatic compared to males in the sense that a behavior or a pattern of behavior that might not even occur to a male to be offensive or disrespectful in any way can be seen (or not truly perceived that way but held) by a female as extremely offensive or disrespectful. This often times lead to the female accusing the male of being “emotionally inept”, insensitive, or deficiencies of that nature, whereas the male might view the bigger part of the problem to lie with the female and her extreme (seemingly to the male) emotional sensitivity (I think there definitely is a biological component to such differences in emotional intensities). I also do not like that females gossip (publicly or privately) more than males do. It turns into belittling others for their own pleasure and is an example “schadenfreude”. (5966)

2. I love the way woman look, the way they are able to express their emotions so freely, the way they can read the emotions of others and act accordingly, and how nurturing they are and ready to help others. I dislike how gossipy women can be and how they are so willing to backstab each other to make themselves look good. I also dislike how woman will sometimes pry information out of others that may not want to talk about what they are feeling. (3297)

2. Overall, I think the most admirable trait of the female gender is its ability to love and care for others. Women seem to tap into these wells of thoughtfulness and consideration that try as I might, I will never find. The women in my life are always remembering my birthday (and furthermore give me gifts for it), calling to say "hi" because they miss me, and often deferring their own plans or pursuits to help me out when needed.
In terms of dislikes, it seems that women have a tendency to over-analyze situations. Not only can this be annoying as a male who does his best to not "sweat the small stuff", it can sometimes be outright dangerous in a relationship with a woman, romantic or otherwise. In terms of annoyance, you can always count on a girl to have an hour-long soap opera story about how her friend told her such a thing, and how your friend cannot determine whether this has a hidden meaning and implication for their friendship or not. In terms of danger, one can never know when an impending arguement with a girl is incoming because of the most insignificant action or word on your part. For example, telling a female friend that you will call her when your group of friends goes out for dinner and forgetting, may take more than just a simple "sorry" to remedy. Also, offering to help another girl with an errand might be a declaration of war to your girlfriend. It sometimes seems that female cognition is almost wired completely differently from males. (0645)


2. I like that the opposite sex allows you to do certain things that would otherwise be considered homosexual by my peers. For instance, drinking some alcoholic beverages without getting some negative remarks from my friends. I know that if I were to go out with some friends and order a Strawberry Daiquiri at least one of them will comment how gay I am. While this may be a stupid example, I feel that I am barricaded from many other things such as yoga, clothing, and even food choices.
I dislike that unless I prove otherwise, most females instantly consider me an emotionless meathead that only cares about eating, sleeping and fucking. I envision from a female's perspective that males are cave-men, who talk in the 3rd person and wander around all day looking for someone to have sex with. It’s like with every new female that I meet, I instantly start out as a womanizer with no dignity or decency and I must prove otherwise. Only after I have proven that I am not a sex crazed animal (varies depending on female, can take 5 minutes or months) do I feel like I receive a mutual decency and I'm treated like a human been. (5768)


2 .There are a number of things that I like about females. The sex appeal they have to me is one of the top things. Also, the maternal instincts they have are also something I like a lot considering my close relationship with my mother. They often bring a very different point of view of a given situation that their male counterpart would not. I dislike the way that they can be very “catty” with other females. I feel males see other males as competition to better them self whereas females just see other females as threats so they try to tear them down with words and assumptions of them. I also dislike their need for constant commitment even before any real relationship status has been established. (6163)

2. I like how different women are then men. They think differently by looking at the world with a more empathetic view and motivate us to be better. I also think women are objectively better looking. I dislike that they complain about problems but don’t ever feel the need to solve them. Any suggestion on what to do usually warrants a negative response. I also feel as though they blow a lot of situations out of proportion by over analyzing them. (4073)

2. I like the fact that women are generally clean and well groomed. Cleanliness and good hygiene are things that are important to me, and I can appreciate the effort that females put into themselves. I also like how women generally have sweet, caring, and nurturing dispositions. I like when women are like this with me, but I also like it when they extend this compassion to others, even strangers. I also admire the fact that women are strong and independent despite the obstacles they are met with. I dislike how women can be ridiculously stubborn and how they can hold grudges for obscene amounts of time. I also dislike how materialistic they can be. I especially dislike how women can be extreme feminists and act paranoid and project chauvinistic qualities on men simply because that’s what they expect or that’s how certain men have treated them. (7737)

2. Generally, what I like about females is that they are thoughtful and caring. It seems that they can easily empathize with people or care to do so. Another quality I like about females is that they always appear to be enthusiastic. Even if the situation is something they dread or flat out dislike, they’ll explain and even demonstrate it with their emotion. They bring light to the conversation and I have always admired them for that. Lastly of course, I do like the physical attributes of a woman. I am a heterosexual male so I do look for women with feminine features – heightened or not.
What I dislike about females is that they analyze too much. It could be subconscious or conscious but either way it can be pretty annoying. Another thing I dislike about females is that they gossip about other people too often. It gets me thinking that they would talk about me behind my back. (5835)

2. One thing I like about women is how they are able to show such sympathy toward others. From my experience with the women around me, if something is really bothering me, I often turn to them for advice and find them much more helpful than the men in my life. I feel that women are really able to understand at time how someone in feeling, and can genuinely care for the well being of others. Not that men are able to express this kind of behavior, but I feel that this kind of behavior comes more natural to women.

One thing I don’t like about women is how I feel they tend to overthink every situation they come across. I have a younger sister, and from what I have seen in her behavior, I feel that she tries to find a deeper meaning into every interaction she has with others. She even goes as far as to analyze each word in a message to try and tell if the person she is talking to is being genuine or sarcastic. I understand that people can have alterior motives, but I believe we can never really truly know what exactly another person is thinking, no matter how hard we may try. I feel that women tend to make significant meaning from every interaction they have, but I feel that in turn, this doesn’t allow them to just take the world for what it is. (8355)

2. I like that the opposite sex can bear children and propagate the existence of the human race? There are very few things that attribute specifically to a sex or gender. Someone male can easily be a bitch as much as someone female can be a dick. (6438)

2.Generally, the qualities of the opposite sex that I like are: organized, emotionally needy, and compassionate. Organization makes up for the messiness of the male. Emotionally needy gives the male a sense of purpose in life because now someone actually wants to share her life and the male can be there for her. I like compassionate because sometimes males cannot provide the same compassion that a female can. Generally, the qualities of the opposite sex that I dislike are: materialistic, mean, and passive. Females tend to be attracted to material objects like extravagant clothes, makeup, jewelry, and luxuries. Mean and passive are kind of opposites because if the female wants to be mean she can passive or aggressive in her methods. I dislike passiveness because life would be so much easier if everyone were
straightforward with intentions, desires, and general communication. (2691)


I like women in that I believe they provide a good balance for men and both sides would go crazy without the other. However, I believe that women tend to make men more competitive and change their overall personalities (sometimes in a good way, sometimes not so much). (0150)

2. I believe I most appreciate the opposite sex for their capacity for connection. It is a fair truth to assert that vulnerability is the core of human connection. Culturally it is much more acceptable for women to ease their guard in private which can quickly nurture trust between women. I wish / am admittedly jealous that men’s friendships are much slower to develop closeness. Conversely what I dislike most about women is their relationships in public. As it is more acceptable for women to be more vulnerable in private it is also expected of them to be more fitted in public. I am sad to see how many women let this expectation affect them in everyday life finding it easy to be fake in many situations. Women seem to have a lot of close friendships than men but also a ton of weak/fake/courtesy friendships and behaviors. (6275)

Something I like about females is how goofy and happy they act around their closest friends (usually females). Whereas men usually chat or do activities, women girls act extremely silly and entertain each other seemlessly for hours. I also like how they share everything with these close friends where men are more solitary. (8832)

I like that women are beautiful, gentle, empathetic, and passive. I dislike when women can be unstable, moody, judgmental, and indirect when dealing with conflicts. (2908)


Question 2. In my experience, I’ve found females to be caring, inclusive, open-minded, thoughtful, expressive, and funny individuals. In my opinion, these qualities are what make a really good friend. When it comes to friendship, you want someone who will genuinely care about your well-being, be open-minded enough to allow you to be your authentic self, and be communicative of their feelings. I believe girls tend to bring these elements to friendships more often than boys. Despite having said this, girls can also be vindictive and overly passive. As a friend, you don’t want to surround yourself with someone who will hold things against you. It can also be frustrating to have a friend who can never stand up for themselves or their opinions. (4788)




#3. What is the one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about your own sex?

3. I feel like women misunderstand the intentions of men at times specifically in terms of relationships, dating, and sex. Like all men are not always and only trying to sleep with women. At different times, men can be looking for other things like an actual relationship. Men have goals and desires for long term commitment too, but I will admit that since men can shift it can be somewhat confusing. If feel like many girls just think guys lead them on for sex; I would hope that no guy would ever intentionally lead someone else on. (9698)

#3. That we all do not like talking out how we are feeling. I think we have been raised since birth under the impression that we are not supposed to so that causes some of us to be emotionally distant. Just as women are three dimensional, complex human beings, men are as well. (8674)

3. I believe that the thing that women most misunderstand about men is that they are all not trying to sleep with you. Yes, that is probably a thought that comes across our minds sooner or later, it is typically not a reason they are talking to a woman. There are many men, including myself, that would rather get to know the woman first and on a deeper level before trying to sleep with them. (0242)

#3. That we are expected and in some cases pressured by them to care about certain things, and doing so may sometimes feel like a task rather than being a genuine and natural reaction that involves real emotions and, therefore, does not have much value and in many cases is not worth the effort. (5966)

3)I think women believe we spend much more time talking about them than we actually do. Sure there’s the common conversation of “oh bro she’s so hot” but in general that’s usually the full extent of our conversations. In fact, guys get turned off when other guys constantly talk about the same woman over and over again. It’s like dude don’t you have something else to talk about. It’s much better to talk about sports or something. No guy wants to hear from another guy “her and I connected on such a spiritual level.” Get that weak stuff out of here man and let’s talk about why Kyrie Irving went to the Boston Celtics. (1761)

4)My sophomore year I fell madly in love with this girl. I can’t deny that looks were the first thing that attracted me to her. I think that it would be irresponsible to deny that looks play somewhat of a role in initially being attracted to someone. She was a beautiful petite Latina with beautiful smile and a big butt. Drop dead gorgeous in my opinion. Then I started to get to know her a little bit more and found out how similar she was to me. I found out how she was in a service org and cared about helping others. I found out how she goes to church every Sunday and she sung in the choir. Even though this isn’t something I would particularly want to do myself it’s a quality I would want in a wife because it’s something I would want my kids exposed to. Then after a long time I started to fantasize about what a future would look like with her and everything from that point on only added to my insane attraction to her. I can’t even remember learning anything bad about her because if I did I probably brushed it under the rug. (1761)
3. I think women overestimate how much men only want women for sex. I think some guys may put up that front, but truly want someone that they can share experiences with and love. Not all men are just looking for sex and will move on once they get it. I think there are definitely many men that act this way, but there are also so many that are looking for someone to be in a relationship with and have no problem spending their life with one woman. (3297)

3. Not every guy is trying to get into your pants. Although it is true that some guys only seek relationships with girls for sexual reasons, I feel like a good majority of males seek relationships with girls that are not at all sexual. A male could genuinely be trying to ask a girl if she wants to study for a test with him and a good portion of females would misinterpret this as something that it's not. (5768)


3. The opposite sex seems to believe that all men care/think about is sex. Yes it is true that men very often think of sex, but that is not the most important thing to men nor is that all men think about. I believe that women think about sex just as much as men do but women either do not like to admit it, do not know how to handle their feelings or fail to act upon their emotions/urges to protect their reputations/image.
(7753)

3. The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to surpress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent.
I believe women are looking for certain benchmarks of emotion, such as sharing all our problems or insecurities with them, and asking how their day went. When these certain criteria are not met, they mistakenly assume that emotions are simply not the male forte. Guys care, and think about emotions a lot. We just do not always need to express them. (0645)



3. The most misunderstood thing about males is that females believe we are emotionally simple. This is far from the truth males just have different emotions provoked by certain things and even when the same emotions are provoked the way of dealing with said emotion is different for males. Males are just different, not simple. (6163)

3. Women think guys just care about sex. It may be true in some guys, but not all. And Ironically if a guy isn’t crazy about sex they feel as though the male isn’t interested in them or something is wrong with him. (4073)
3. I believe that the one thing that women most misunderstand about men is that the actions and flaws that they complain about us having are actually, whether they realize it or not, reinforced by how they treat and interact with us. Women complain about men being shallow and insensitive and treating them badly. However women are just as shallow in their dealings with men, and they are the ones who put up with and who are even attracted to men who treat them in these ways. If women didn’t date assholes then maybe they wouldn’t complain about their boyfriends treating them like dirt. I’m not saying that women who make mistakes like this deserve men treating them the way they do. No one deserves to be treated badly. All I’m saying is that women have a lot more control over the situation than they think. (7737)

3. Sex is not the only driving force or goal in a man’s life. I think women stereotype us too much with wanting or thinking about sex all the time and it is not entirely true. First of all, we cannot help that it is a biological necessity for us to want to have sex and replicate. The thought of sex will inevitably occur in us men. However, we no longer live in primitive times and the motivations for living a good life are slowly but surely expanding. I ardently believe that there are not only men, but women too who see life as being more than the goal of survival and replication. There is a greater purpose to our existence and ironically the survival of our species depends on those people finding and living it out. (5835)

3. I think one thing women misunderstand about men is that men do not have the capacity to be emotional. From what I have experienced in talking to women, women tend to believe that when a man is pursuing a relationship with a women, the only thing they care about is the physical aspect. I find women tend to assume that men are attracted to them not because of personality or intellect, but because of their physical features. However, I would argue that this is not true of all men. There are always exceptions to any rule, and I believe that men can be attracted to a woman aside from their physical appearance. (8355)

3. Almost everything. Women can sometimes be more sexist than men but at the same time it makes sense. At the end of the day, male privilege protects me from being too profoundly impacted by female sexism against males. (6438)




Girls most misunderstand that when a guy says “I’m fine” it’s either because he truly is fine or because he doesn’t want to talk about what’s wrong. It honestly has NOTHING to do with you. It doesn’t mean we’re mad at you or that we dislike you or that we don’t want to open up specifically to you. It just means that we don’t want to talk about it. (0150)


3.It is constantly misunderstood how damaging it is to be a boy growing up in our culture. Sure in a man’s world we have it made but the pressure of our culture of reclusion to be a “man” is, from a psychological perspective, one of the single worst steps a human can take for mental health. Women clearly have the short end of the stick in the outer society but their culture of interpersonal connection is a huge defense network considering men are discouraged from investing in people emotionally. Historically women have filled the positive role as family care and the negative role as disposable objects of sex. Men filled the positive role as providers and the negative role as disposable objects of war. Sexism is at play on both sides of the field generally as a tool to separate the rich from the poor not to separate the men from the women. I’m not arguing which side is more of a struggle but I do believe that the male culture of independence is too much for a young boy to shoulder and yet we are forever expected to be the solid rock, the stability, to be unbroken when really we just hide our cracks. That being said, Kintsugi is the most beautiful artwork on the planet. (6275)

I believe women see men as emotionless walls only interested in sex. While this is certainly true in some cases, it is a social construct that many men feel they must adhere to in fear of being a “pussy”. Men have emotions and insecurities about appearance, sexual performance and incompetency just like women do. The influence of these constructs affects females as well but I believe they are not talked about as often for males. (8832)

I think what women most don’t understand about men is that most of the time alpha male tendencies and overly large egos aren’t genuine. They are being used to mask feelings of inadequacy or insecurity and cope with difficult self-perceptions. (2908)

3. The one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about my own sex is that males are not as simple as we are portrayed. We act simple because it is a desirable trait as dictated by females. If there were no motivation to be simple, males would act real and more complicated. (2691)

  1. 1. I think the biggest misconception about males is the fact that we are simple or dumb. While males have been taught from an early age to not express emotions, they still reside in the men. The generalize outward appearance of males is known to be messy, lazy and straight forward. This perception undercuts the male capacity to connect.
Question 3. One of the biggest misconceptions that girls tend to believe about boys is that they aren’t emotional. Contrary to popular belief, men feel emotions just as much as women. Boys tend to conceal their emotions due to societal pressure to be ‘macho.’ If a guy is caught crying, panicking, or even being overly happy he is instantly labeled as girly or weird. Men are taught to always keep it together but as a human being, this seems impossible. (4788)


#4. Think about a time when you found yourself particularly attracted to someone of the opposite sex. What characteristics of that person do you think attracted you? What was the most important factor that attracted you to this person, e.g., physical appearance, personality traits, self-confidence, social status, friendly gestures toward you, etc.?
#4. Personality traits were the thing that made me want to have a relationship with her. Being attracted to someone physically is also important but I really believe that a woman's personality is what makes me want to have a long term relationship with her. (8674)

4)My sophomore year I fell madly in love with this girl. I can’t deny that looks were the first thing that attracted me to her. I think that it would be irresponsible to deny that looks play somewhat of a role in initially being attracted to someone. She was a beautiful petite Latina with beautiful smile and a big butt. Drop dead gorgeous in my opinion. Then I started to get to know her a little bit more and found out how similar she was to me. I found out how she was in a service org and cared about helping others. I found out how she goes to church every Sunday and she sung in the choir. Even though this isn’t something I would particularly want to do myself it’s a quality I would want in a wife because it’s something I would want my kids exposed to. Then after a long time I started to fantasize about what a future would look like with her and everything from that point on only added to my insane attraction to her. I can’t even remember learning anything bad about her because if I did I probably brushed it under the rug. (1761)

4. The last girl that I was attracted to caught my interest by her personality and looks. She was beautiful and had a good amount of self-confidence, however, she was still humble and treated everyone around her the same way. She was funny, nice, easy to talk to, and was someone that you could spend hours with without getting tired or bored. With this being said, I believe that the most important factor for me to be attracted to a woman would be the potential I see that she could be my best friend while still staying physically attractive. (0242)

#4. Because I was already very attracted to that person any characteristic of that person that I thought about seemed captivating. But looking back, I can say that it was primarily her looks (i.e. face and physique) and secondarily her seeming friendliness and openness towards me (the fact that she made me feel like I was able to entertain her more effectively than other males). She had a very kind personality but could also be surprising and fun on occasion. She also seemed to have a lot of friends, which I thought would be indicative of her desirability. (5966)

4. The first thing that attracted me was the physical appearance. That is what keeps my attention and makes me want to get to know the girl a little more. If there is no physical attraction then it is easy to quickly move on. Once I start to get to know the girl other factors come into play, such as humor, friendliness, and personality. All these traits ultimately can cause me not to be interested in the girl regardless of the physical attraction, but initially this attraction is the most important. (3297)

4. I find that physical appearance plays a large influence on my initial attraction to someone. Usually if I find her physically attractive, I will tend to pay more attention to her and will seek to see what her personality and ect is like. Friendly gestures towards me may increase my attraction towards someone, but unless they're consistent, I will never act on them. Social status really doesn't matter to me unless the person is seen as a total outcast. Someone that is an embarrassment or shame to be seen with is a huge turn-off for me. (5768)



4. When I first met my girlfriend, the first attraction was purely physical. I was struck by how pretty her face was, and then secondly attracted to the shape of her body. However, what made her stick in my mind was her "cool" almost aloof manner. She did not give me a particularly warm "girly" greeting. Instead, it was a polite greeting, and a general sense of disinterest in me. I am not sure if this made me crazy about her because she seemed so unattainable, or something else. However, my attraction to her deepened when I was informed by a friend that in fact she was incredibly attracted to me, and was attempting not to over-play her hand. (0645)



4. The physical characteristics that attract me to a female would be their breasts, butt, waist, face, and eyes. As far as personality goes humor and self confidence and being low key are very important. I would say the most important factor would be, prior to meeting physical attributes, after meeting demeanor and mannerism around me. (6163)

4.
I have to be attracted to a girl to be interested in her. But she doesn’t have to be beautiful or gorgeous, just interesting. I know plenty of good looking girls who I’m repulsed by their behavior, beliefs, and lifestyles. I would take a cute girl with a great personality over an extremely attractive woman with a shitty personality. So on top of her physical attractiveness she has to be confident, intelligent, easy going, and have similar goals and ideals. (4073)
4. I’ll admit that I notice girls’ physical appearances when I meet them. However it takes much more than a girl’s looks for me to actually like her. I’m attracted to girls who are sweet, caring, compassionate and honest. I like girls who are all around good people and who treat others, be they male or female, with respect and dignity. Though I notice girls’ appearances, I’m by no means a shallow guy. Two things that typically catch my attention more than looks are eye contact and a genuine smile. (7737)


4. Well other than the physical beauty what initially catches my attention and attracts me to any female, the deal breaker would have to come from who they are on the inside. They would have to be nice and not stuck-up. They would have to be ambitious and have career goals. Then another important one for me is that they would have to be down-to-earth and not too materialistic or superficial. (5835)

4. When I have been attracted to another woman aside from the physical features that may have drawn me to her, what I found more attractive than that was her personality. From a previous relationship I was in, I enjoyed my girlfriend’s company more than anything else. I felt extremely comfortable around her and I found that I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could. She was very kind and I believe that she always had everyone’s best interests in mind. From my experience with her, I felt that she always put the needs of others before her own. I found this quality very admirable. Overall, I found her to be just the kind of person I would want and need to be in my life. (8355)

4. It was almost always someone who could put me in my place. Maybe it’s because I grew up surrounded by strong women, but I gravitate towards women who can hold their own. (6438)

4.In my past I have only found novelty to be attractive. The women I have been attracted to all had a unique physical and mental trait. Doesn’t matter what it was but as long as I thought they were beautiful and yet didn’t look like everyone else, or thought they were friendly but didn’t behavior as everyone else then I would be attracted to them. If you are new to me or something I need to study to understand I am interested (6275)
What initially attracts me to females in a sexual manner is their physical appearance. Upon getting to know them and gauging their personality, physical attractiveness loses its appeal if they seem insincere/shallow, selfish, or unintelligent. Physical attractiveness is the most important aspect of attraction for me but personality is required for any attraction deeper than a simple hookup. To me, one of the most attractive things is a female who is not afraid to be different. This means she has her own unique style and character that are genuine and unaffected by others’ opinions. (8832)

I first started to become interested in women during middle school. It was definitely physical attraction that caused the interest. (2908)

4.If I am looking for a casual hookup then I will be more influenced by the woman’s physical appearance. In general, I get really attracted to a woman’s personality. For example, music is a major deal breaker. The woman can be Aphrodite herself but if she listens to Justin Bieber or some other pop-y trash, then I will not pursue a relationship. Personality is way more important than physical appearance. I never understood why our society puts so much pressure on such a constantly changing quality like physical appearance. It is almost as if there are people benefitting from other people’s forced insecurities. (2691)

Question 4. I would think that the most attractive quality of opposite sex would be femininity. Although females have various amounts of ‘femininity’ depending on the individual, more often than not, that is how they get a guys attention. If men wanted a person who was exactly like them, they would date each other (and they do sometimes). Some feminine qualities are being caring, expressive, nurturing, and gentle. A lot of guys would agree that these are qualities they would like for their companions. (4788)



#5. In your opinion, what are the strengths and weaknesses of the opposite sex?

5. Women are really good at complex social thought and getting to the root causes of issues or motivations of others which is valuable. I feel women are weak in caring far too deeply about what others think of them. This can lead to a number of self-esteem and mental health or even body issues. (9698)

#5. The strengths of the opposite sex include: their organization skills, their amazing ability to decorate their rooms and make them look cute, their empathy for others, and their uncanny ability to detect when something is wrong. The weaknesses of the opposite sex include: overthinking a lot, being more prone to drama with each other, making all men out to be like animals, and hurting each other emotionally. (8674)

5. I believe their strengths are the ability to be empathetic, communicate well, and to understand most situations through multiple perspectives. Women are able to express their feelings in a more articulate way than men can while also having the ability to sense when others around them are dealing with a difficult time. They can also see situations through other individuals’ perspectives and help them get through these situations by looking at situation in more than one scope. One weakness that I believe women possess is caring too much about what others think about them. I believe that women are also concerned what others think which is why they need to constantly be complimented and reassured by those around them. I also think that this plays a factor in them being more self-critical. (0242)

#5. That they are more empathic than males is a very important quality in a world where EQ is progressively considered to be more important than IQ. Also tied to this quality they can be more supportive of each other compared the males. Their biggest weakness, however, is that they are easily affected emotionally. Rationality is not always their strong suit. (5966)

5)I think in general women are much better at staying organized. Their notes in class are much more detailed. They have way better hand writing. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen a paper with no name on it and heard someone say, “oh that’s for sure girl hand writing.” When I hear someone say I have girl hand writing I always take that as a compliment. I think they are better at communicating their feelings to people they trust. Not only do they do a better job at saying how they’re really feeling, they’re also more willing to share how they’re feeling if it’s someone they trust talking to. In terms of weaknesses I think women are way too self-conscious. To me it seems like the world of women is a dog eat dog world. They have less room to dress sloppy because other women will be critical of them. For this reason, they’re always worried about their appearance and how people will view them. (1761)

5. Women have a very high emotional intelligence. They are great at identifying their feelings, conveying those feeling to others, reading others’ feelings, and knowing how to interact with others according to those feelings. I think this emotional intelligence, however, can lead to a weakness of sensitivity. When a girl becomes too sensitive it makes it hard to even interact with them because I am too scared to say the wrong thing and offend them or hurt their feelings. (3297)

5. One of the main strengths of females is that they are emotionally intelligence / tactical. I have noticed that females are better are sensing emotion and can offer better support when coping with negative ones. They also have the ability to use their emotions to their advantage. A female friend of mine was able to get out of a DUI and have her brother come pick her up because she started sobbing on the side of the road.
I feel that a major weakness of the opposite sex is that they shoot themselves in the foot and blame men for it. Countless times have I heard women blame men as the sole reason for girls dressing promiscuous, slut shaming, anorexia, and ect. While I don't disagree that males play a role in these things, I believe that the competition between females is the driving force. Furthermore, I would tie this into the feminist nature of some females who assume it’s them against the world. A lot of feminists will single males out and put them on the defensive instead of hearing what they have to say. If they would take the time to listen to our attitudes towards the topic, I know they would be surprised at how many males accept the feminist notion of inequality. Instead, some feminists (especially the ones who aren't well read on the notion) take to the male vs. female mentality, which I believe only hinders your efforts. I personally accept many parts of the feminist notion, yet I still receive resentment from some certain females because I’m a male. I feel like that only after I walk around with a picket sign campaigning for feminism, will they understand that I am not opposed to their views. (5768)


5. Females are for one, very caring. They are excellent at taking others' problems and internalizing them as their own to assist in helping to find solutions. Also, they tend to be much more organized than men. I rely on the women in my life to keep me on track with my appointments and cleaning of my room. Finally, women are very generous and will express their generosity even when it is not neccesary.
For weaknesses, women tend to think emotionally, rather than logically. Also, while they are very detail-oriented it can sometimes bog them down with seemingly useless facts or analysis of situations. Also, constructive criticism can easily be interpreted as a personal attack to them. (0645)



5. Females are very good at being nurturing and compassionate, in general. Despite being emotional at times when big emotionally hard times come up they can be very strong and keep their composure well especially in front of others. Weaknesses would be their need to be complimented and reassured of their physical and personal characteristics constantly. Their unstable emotional extremes are also a weakness, they seem to run very hot and cold. (6163)

5.
Their strengths are their ability to be empathetic, give an alternative perspective, and ability to communicate once in a relationship. Their weaknesses are their constant need for validation of their qualities and over analyzing of things. I would say they can be a bit too emotional. (4073)

5. I think women’s strengths are their ability to caring, understanding, and compassionate. Women are generally more in touch with their emotions and are better at reading other people’s emotions. Since they are good at recognizing the emotions of others, women are extremely good at empathizing with other people. I think women’s weakness is their ability to let their emotions get the best of them. When a woman is hurt, whether she is angry, sad, or any other mood, she tends to act impulsively and irrationally.

(7737)

5. Some strengths of women would include them being caring and thoughtful. They can also be pretty intuitive. They can be cute and sweet at times. Generally they are good conversationalists and can be a better friend than a guy.
Weaknesses of women are that they read too much into things. They complain and gossip too much. (5835)

5. The strengths I find in women are how they are able to be so caring and compassionate toward others. From my experience, I find that women are a better person to turn to rather than men for advice, because I believe they truly want to understand what you are going through and want to help you in any way that they can.

5. The weaknesses I find in women however, is I believe they tend to over analyze their interactions with others. From my experience, I feel that women try to find deeper meaning into every interaction they have with others, and may believe that there is a hidden message involved even though there is not. (8355)

5. I do not know of any particular strengths and weaknesses that are sex-specific. I think I read somewhere once that women have higher tolerance to pain in order to handle the pain of childbirth? I never really fact-checked that one. As far as I know, any strengths that men have come from living in a male-dominated society that subjugates women, creating weaknesses in them. (6438)

5.The strength of women is their communication skill; it allows them to work in teams well especially teams that have no designated leader where everyone is on equal grounds. While their biggest weakness I have observed can be situational awareness. Then again that is just my biggest pet peeve with humans in general but I find women to cross this line of mine most. (6275)

5. A strength females have over males is being open and vulnerable. Often times you see a girl crying and pouring her heart out where men have to be tough and quiet. As for weaknesses I think girls care too much about what other people (mostly girls) think of them. This is due to the nature of catty gossip that affects girls who do the slightest thing wrong.
(8832)

I think that women have high emotional intelligences and can provide care and love unlike men. However, their weakness when emotional extremes cause women to act irrationally. (2908)
  1. 1.

5. The strengths of the opposite sex are the ability to create and care for babies, be more compassionate, and look better in a dress. The weaknesses of the opposite sex are sporadic emotions, easily manipulated/influenced, and fickle. (2691)

Question 5. Females tend to have a major disadvantage when it come to their sex from a contextual standpoint. Despite living in a patriarchal society, women have great strength, intellect, and perseverance. Having said that, being the disadvantaged sex can also lead to women being insecure, passive, and complacent. (4788)



#6. Can you think of any instances in which you have personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex? If so, give a brief description of what happened.

6. I can’t really recall any time I was treated super unfairly by the opposite sex. I have only experienced mild assumptions that proved to be incorrect, but none of these were detrimental or damaging. (9698)

#6. When I had a girlfriend she broke my heart. I cared about her more than anything and tried so hard to make her life easier than she broke up with me simply because she did not want to have a boyfriend anymore. Afterwards, herself and her friends turned their backs on me and acted like she was the victim in the situation somehow. I will never understand why that happened. (8674)

6. When I was with one of my ex-girlfriends in high school, we had a mutual break up and then after a while I realized that I wanted to get back together with her. I started a conversation with her about how I still had feelings for her and how I wanted to try a relationship one more time. She had feelings too, however, she wanted to try a relationship with a new guy so we ended up not getting back together. I was hurt and I told her that I needed space since we were in the same friend group, but instead, she purposely inserted herself and the new guy in everything that I did with some of our friends. She also purposely ruined a potential relationship I could have had with this girl that I was talking to because she didn’t want another girl to be with me since she still had feelings. (0242)

6) There have been times where I try to be friendly with a girl and introduce myself, at a party for instance just to be social, and she immediately acts snooty because she things I’m trying to hit on her. (1761)

#6. I have been criticized for not showing enough appreciation for certain deeds that were being done for me. However, I thought that I was being appreciative and was actually making an effort to be extra kind towards her but that intention apparently did not come across as I thought it would. (5966)

6. In high school, I was interested in a girl that was also interested in me. Unfortunately her friend had some idea that all guys are pigs and that I just wanted to have sex with the girl and leave her. Her friend was eventually able to convince the girl that I was like this, even though I gave no reason to believe that. The girl stopped talking to me all because of a stereotype that her friend applied to me. (3297)

6. My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis. (5768)


6. During my summer internship, my girlfriend was convinced that I was constantly flirting with other female interns. One time, I mentioned the accomplishments of one particular intern and foolishly mentioned that I thought they were rather admirable. I had only brought this up because I specifically wanted to share my internship with my girlfriend. However, a few days later, we ended up having a fight about my comment. She accused me of admiring another girl while not admiring her enough. It was useless to explain to her that my intentions in mentioning the other intern, was to comiserate and joke a bit with each other about how unaccomplished we were in our careers. I felt that she was jumping to conclusions and not thinking very logically. (0645)



6. For a friends birthday we were having a party and my female friends took it upon themselves to plan it all take care of food and cake and stuff and told me just go get the alcohol. There was no discussion or even asking if I wanted to do something else they just gave me the easy thing they though I wouldn’t mess up despite it being for my closest friend. (6163)

6.
I’ve been dumped for not doing anything wrong. She left for an older guy who was an asshole. After a couple years she apologized and admitted I wasn’t in fault and that she just had an urge to date a different type of guy and that it was a mistake. It seems like girls don’t know what they want until later in life. She was burned out on the asshole guys and wanted to start dating again. (4073)
6. When I was with my ex-girlfriend we would get into arguments and her friends would treat me rudely or ignore me even if they had no idea what the fight was about. (7737)


6. Honestly the only instance that I can think of where I got treated unfairly by the opposite sex was when I was little, my grandmother used to treat my girl cousins better than me, my brothers, and my guy cousins. (5835)

6. One situation where I felt a woman treated me unfairly was when I was trying to become friends with someone in one of my classes. I didn’t know anyone in the class, so I was trying to meet new people. There was this girl who usually sat next to me and I one day I tried to have a conversation with her. We made small talk for a bit and moving forward we have casual conversations here and there. When a test was approaching I decided I would ask her if she wanted to study together. She seemed reluctant to do so, but eventually she agreed. I then asked for her number so I could more easily contact her as we prepared to study. However, she seemed to get upset that I would ask such a thing and said she wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I was not at all looking for a relationship with her, but instead I was just trying to make a friend. She assumed that just because I was a guy and asked for her number that I may have had alterior motives and that I was just trying to get close to her so I could develop a romantic relationship with her. (8355)

6. I am sure I have. I can be a dick sometimes. I highly doubt it was because I was a man. However, at the same time, I try to be sensitive about what being a man means and how I can exert that privilege onto others. I do not remember any unfair treatment because of that, though, so I think I am doing a good job. (6438)

6.In the first class we had for psych 3010 we listed our dislikes of the opposite gender in the second half of the class. We got through all three female groups rather quickly as the men simply listened and usually actually agreed. But the one group of men took 30 min to list our five dislikes because every time we mentioned one the women, granted a few women out of many, would steamroll the conversation of list of excuses and explanations rather than just listening as we had to theirs. I find that in general women are great listeners to other women but are not great listeners to men. Many times have spent months listening to a female friend’s gripes and issues but when I have been having hard months and want to talk it out they listen for a moment before turning the topic back to themselves. (6275)

Sometimes I am treated poorly by women when I believe they think I am threatening/hitting on them when I am genuinely not. I consider myself attractive and sometimes my mannerisms or comments may be mistaken for passes when they are not. (8832)

Recently I was helping my girlfriend move from her apartment into her house. I don’t remember the exact reason, but she got mad at me in the moment and later confessed how irrational it was (2908)

6. I was once in a group where I was the only male. The project was to come up with an organization to help better their public image. I tried to voice my opinions on which organization to choose but I was told that I was probably going to wait for the last minute to do it so I shouldn’t have a say in the topic. I did not care enough to make a big deal about it but it sucks that when a sex has the majority, abuse of power tends to follow. Instead of my idea, the Golden Globes, we did Abercrombie & Fitch. (2691)

Question 6. I can’t really think of instances in which I was treated unfairly by the opposite sex. (4788)



#7. Can you think of any instances in which you have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex, simply because of your (or their) gender? If so, give a brief description of what happened.

7. As a gay male, I feel as if women value and trust my opinion more than they would value the opinion of other females and certainly other straight males. I do feel that women also tend to lean more on their male friends regardless of their sexual orientation beacuse it allows them to connect with someone they are not directly competing with, as it seems that such competition is one of the larger factors in female stress and needing to communicate with other males. This manifests in situations were women detail an interaction they had with someone, likely a competitor, and seek advice or assurance that thier viewpoint is correct or simply in situaltions regardling their appearance where they need a trusted opinion to feel assured. (9698)

#7. My friend who was a girl came to me with her emotional issues because she felt I was to be more trusted than her girl friends due to “guys being less dramatic.” We would meet up and talk through what was going on her life and I really appreciated her trust in me. It made me feel good to know that she felt comfortable enough around me to open up so much to me. (8674).

7. One of my best friends here, who happens to be a girl, always comes to me with her problems and just to talk because she appreciates how guys tell things straight forward and don’t tend to edge around the bush when talking about issues. Due to this trust, it has only made our friendship closer and stronger. (0242)

7) I come from a very traditional Hispanic family. There are some things I really like about this and others I will definitely change when I start to raise my own children. One of the things I really don’t like is that the men in our family are expected to be the real breadwinners and the high achievers while the women are supposed to focus on being a good mother and making life easier for their husband whenever possible. Over the years I’ve picked up on small ques from my mother and grandmother that show how deeply this is engrained in their values. They always talk loud and proud about how I’m going to go to medical school and become a physician. At the same time, my sister who is extremely smart, seems to get far less attention. I push her to aim her goals high and apply to law school, but none of the females seem to encourage this idea. When I asked my mom why she said lawyers are always just so busy and she wants my sister to have time for her kids. This, however, does not seem to be a concern when it comes to me working long hours as a doctor. Overall, when it comes to future career paths the attention is always on me because I’m a man and, in their opinion, men need to be successful to provide for their family. (1761)

#7. There were instances where there were implicit competitions in social situations between my female friends for the companionship of the opposite sex, which sometimes lead them to act nicer towards my male friends or me than they act towards each other. (5966)


7. I have gone to parties a few times in groups where I was the only guy or one of two, so all the girls treated me very nicely because of this. I was the center of most of the conversations, everyone was interested in my life and what I had to say, and they were all generally just kind. I genuinely think that this was because I was a guy in a group of girls because if I had just been another one of the girls, I would not have been given that much attention. (3297)

7. I notice that the opposite sex will treat you very well when they are in need of help with manual labor. I can't count how many times I have been contacted with most sincere text messages followed by asking me to come by and move a piece of furniture. (5768)


7. I was sitting on a couch at a VIP booth in a night club at Las Vegas. Two girls came up to me and grabbed me off the couch and starting dancing with me. One of them started making out with me because she thought I was a hot guy.
(7753)

7. Whenever I am having a bad day, or seemed stress, my girlfriend is always there to support me. Whether it's a hug or a back massage or just sitting me down and asking me to tell her what's wrong, she is always being the perfect supporter and personal cheerleader for me. While I can find support from male friends, she can give me comfort in a way that no one else can. (0645)


7. At work once a female co-worker assisted me in unloading the weekly delivery of boxes of paper instead of assuming I would do it just because I was the male. Having someone assume a task is yours simply because of your gender gets old after awhile and it’s a nice change when a woman expects equality but also grants equality. (6163)

7.
I can think of many instances were I’ve been treated nicely by the opposite sex just because of my gender. Its usually for lifting things or fixing things. (4073)
7. Just the other day three of my female friends came up to me and were acting particularly friendly and nice. It turns out they wanted me to help them with their groceries. The funny thing is they didn’t have very many and they weren’t even particularly heavy. (7737)

7. This one time when I was with my group of friends, the girls in the group were preparing food and I wanted to help out. They appreciated my gesture very much and I know it is because the guys in the group and guys in general do not deal with the preparation of food and things of that nature especially when girls are present. (5835)

7. A situation where I was treated well by a woman was when I was very stressed out and had a lot going on at the time; a female friend of mine was very comforting. She spent a lot of time with me trying to help me in any way that she could. I could tell from the way she was treating me that she genuinely wanted to help me feel better. I greatly appreciated the gestures she made and that she was spending her own time trying to comfort me. (8355)

7. I surround myself with people who do not discriminate based on sex and gender and I try to avoid people who do. If ever I was treated well by the opposite sex because of my sex, it is probably because they needed help with something. For example, it would have been considered rude if a woman spoke up or their opinion would be considered less coming from a woman. (6438)

7.While I have mentioned that women often are not the listeners they pride themselves on being I have been around women all my life. Truly it was my mom who raised me and I had a strange open invitation to all her 40-year-old wine drinking, gossip ridden, cackling get-togethers with her and her friends. Most of my close friend groups have been all women, 1st to 3rd grade, 4th to 6th grade, junior year till now all years of close friendships between myself and a group of 4-5 girls each time. I moved a lot and would consider myself a socially strange individual from losing so many friends over the years but these groups of women always welcomed me and taught me a lot about what womanhood in contrast of my own experiences. They saved me from a lot of depression even though I still went through my fair share of it. (6275)

Not really. Besides occasionally being approached or flirted with. (8832)

Its hard to name a specific experience, but I do feel like I’ve been treated particularly well by women in many instances. For example, my girlfriend’s house mates are all amazing and have treated me well and been nurturing. (2908)

7. It can be pretty easy to spot when a female is attracted. Most of my experience of being treated particularly well has been because of attraction. One example is when my best friend treated me better than usual. She wanted to give me massages and asked me how I was ten times more than she usually would. I am sure she would have done the same to any other guy she is attracted to. Also when a girl wants help , she will be an absolute angel. (2691)

Question 7. Females make extremely good companions and friends. All throughout my life I have gravitated towards females because they tend to be more open-minded and accepting. Some of my first friends from elementary have been girls, and they were the first to include me in their activities without judgment. (4788)




#8. Describe an instance, or instances, when you have been rejected by someone of the opposite sex to whom you were attracted. How did they reject you? Was their behavior inconsiderate, rude or insensitive? How did it make you feel? How might they have done it in a more considerate way?

8. Junior year of high school I was really interested in one of my best friends. She was awesome and we had a really good friendship, but we never had anything romantic. I had a mutual friend gauge her interest because I was too afraid of messing things up by asking myself. She was not interested, and after a while I got over it. Fast forward to senior year. I really just wanted to take her to our Senior Ball as friends because I thought we’d have a really good time. As it turned out, one of our other friends had the same idea, but, of course, she had someone entirely different in mind that she wanted to ask her. A good number of our crowd watched this entire situation unfold, so someone tipped her off at the start of school the day we were all planning on asking her. She literally went home “sick” in the middle of the morning to avoid all of us and had mutual friends of ours asking us not to ask her. This baffled me. Like why couldn’t she just tell me directly that she appreciated the gesture but would prefer that I leave her open for someone she was legitimately interested in to ask her? The entire class basically found out, which was uncomfortable, and I was hurt by how she overreacted and didn’t have the decency to just talk to me directly. As it turned out, the guy she wanted to ask her, didn’t even ask her because he was so appalled by the situation. He even asked her best friend directly in front of her the next day. (9698)

8. I have been rejected by the opposite sex before. There was a girl I really liked in high school and I thought she would genuinely talk back to me when I spoke to her but I later came to find out it was all a joke. She could have just been straight with me and said that she was not interested instead of leading me on. It made me feel incredibly used and not worthy of being loved by anybody but it really seemed like she did not care about that. I wish she just would have been honest with me. (8674)

8. There was one time where I was talking to this girl for a while and I thought everything was going well. I finally decided to ask her out. She ended up rejecting me in front of all my friends and hers without any signs of sympathy. She told me she was just having fun and didn’t want anything out of it. I was hurt for a little bit, but I just wish she was honest from the beginning and could have told me in private instead of in front of all our friends. (0242)

#8. They have let me know right off the bat that they were not interested. I thought at the time that it was inconsiderate and to some extent insensitive to not at least make the effort to offer a possibly more comforting response by saying that she does not want to risk our preexisting friendship or just by offering any rational explanation (which would’ve helped me with the sadness that came from feeling inadequate as I was also sad simply because I was rejected). It made me feel like my request was not realistic and out of the question, which made me feel inferior and very insecure. (5966)

8) Recently, I started to have feelings for a particular girl. We were home for the summer so I didn’t get to see her in person very much. I texted her every day for over a month and she said lots of things that made me think she was also interested. Things like “we should have a planned movie night once a week and you can come over and we can watch movies in my room.” Once we got back to school I found out from one of her closest friends that she was actually leading on 5 other guys and was practically dating one of them who is 26 years old. When I expressed my feelings to the girl I liked she told me she thought we were just really great friends and she wanted to keep it that way. (1761)

8. I have been broken up with in high school over text in two different situations, which is kind of embarrassing. Of course it made me feel sad that the girl I was into was not feeling the same way about me. I think that they were inconsiderate in the way they did it through a phone, most likely because they thought it would be awkward to do it in person. It definitely showed me, though, that they did not care about me, so it made it easier to move on. A more considerate way of breaking up would have been to do it in person. (3297)

8. I have never been flat out rejected because I don't put myself out there enough. I believe its the fear of straight up rejection that intimidates me. I usually feel more inclined to flirt with females if I will never see them again. For instance, its harder for me to try to date someone in my class because if I get rejected I have to see them a couple times a week, as opposed to some random girl I see out doing something. (5768)



8. In one instance of rejection, my 8th grade girlfriend broke up with me when I called her to plan a date. Although she was not particularly rude, I was rather hurt that she chose to do it when I had called her. However, she did not seem spiteful, but more matter-of-fact about it and a bit apologetic. I suppose in the long-run it was good of her to just be honest, instead of waiting for our date to break the news to me, but at the same time, she could have been more proactive with contacting me about the issue, rather than waiting for me to walk into it. (0645)


8. I was rejected when I approached a girl in high school to go out sometime and she was really rude about it just blowing me off and acting as though I had wasted her precious time just by asking. It pissed me off and she ended up apologizing later on for how she behaved and explained she had just broken up with her boyfriend and she was with all her friends when I asked but after this I probably went about things the wrong way by telling her it was ok I know why her boyfriend broke up with her and thanked her from saving me my time. She could have done it in a better way by saying she wasn’t ready to start going out with anyone yet but maybe we could hang out at a party sometime or something. (6163)

8.
There have been times where I’ve been rejected respectfully and there have been times where I’ve been rejected in a rude manner. The respectful way was able to salvage something and have a great friendship. The disrespectful way lead to no friendship at all. The respectful way was just being upfront about not being interested. (4073)

8. I’ve never been rejected in a particularly rude or insensitive way. The girls I’ve been rejected by were all generally kind about it which hurts in its own way I suppose. There have been times when girls have ignored or avoided me for a while after they rejected me, but I suppose it’s understandable because it’s usually an awkward situation all around. (7737)


8. I was really into this one girl and we went out on a date. I guess the date did not go too well because even though we texted each other a few times after the date, she didn’t seem too interested in going on a second date because she would make excuses to not go. Her behavior is understandable and I saw nothing wrong with how she went about rejecting me. It obviously hurt a little to my self-esteem but I have no ill feelings towards her and I genuinely hope she finds a nice guy who can treat her well. (5835)

8. I was interested in a girl who I had been hanging out with for a while and when I finally decided to ask her if she would want to go out on a date sometime she said no. She said that she didn’t see me in that way and that I was just a friend to her and that I wouldn’t be anymore. It is likely that I may have made some assumptions that led me to believe that she possibly had feelings for me, but in the end, I was wrong. I was upset that she didn’t see me in that way and wasn’t even willing to try and go on one date with me to see if anything further developed. At the same time however, I can understand that if she were not interested in me in any way, then she would possibly want to pursue time with someone else whom she could possibly see herself with. (8355)

8. The last time I seriously tried or offered to someone of the opposite sex was high school. Since then, the most recent instance was I was really drunk and I think I grabbed a random girl to make out. Then she pushed me away and said she was a lesbian, to which I shrugged and said “cool, sorry.” After that, it was totally chill. As someone who’s dated other them, I know how guys can go from calling you hot to cussing you out in less than a minute. (6438)

8.Junior year I asked out my friend after months of constant all day communication. She rejected me which I somewhat expected but was crushed due to the massive reserve of hope I had stashed somewhere in the back of my mind. They weren’t rude or insensitive but I was so crushed I went home and laid in bed for 36 hours. I began to find it unfair that she led me on for so many months when clearly she could tell I had feelings for her. Women, I know it’s expected of men to be upfront about our intentions but if we aren’t do us a favor and let us in or cut us off early. (6275)

Once I was bored at a bar and simply asked a girl for her name to which she gave me a disgusted look and turned around on her phone. While I believe this behavior was very rude, I also understand how irritating it might be constantly getting hit on when you are just trying to have fun. Many men approach women at bars/clubs simply because they are interested in sex which many women know. Men (especially when drunk) may also become insulting or offensive upon being rejected which makes this a difficult question to answer. I believe honesty is the best policy in this case and that by nicely communicating a lack of interest is the best solution. (8832)

8. I had a longtime elementary school crush and decided to try my luck freshman year of high school. We were friends at the time and nothing more. I asked her out to a Friday football game but she politely rejected me. It was almost like a sorry rather than a rejection, which is not much better. I felt stupid for waiting till high school just to be rejected. Personally, if she told me why she did not want to go out then I would have felt better but I believe she rejected me as nicely as possible. (2691)

Question 8. I believe females feel the need to be more cutting with their rejections. This is due to the fact that men tend to be persistent and not really take ‘no,’ as an answer. (4788)



Imagine that you have known someone of the opposite sex for about a month. You have dated this person several times, but so far there hasn't been any kind of physical intimacy (holding hands, kissing, etc.) between the two of you. Now, you are out on a date with this person again.

How would you try to influence this person in each of the following
circumstances:

#9. Situation 1: The date has been going very well and you feel very physically attracted to this person. How would you influence this person to become physically intimate, and to go as far sexually as you wanted to go?
#9. I would be very nervous about making her feel uncomfortable. I would try to judge when the time is right and make a suttle move (such as holding her hand) and see how she responds. If she responds well then I may try to do something a little more ambitious. It’s imperative to always make sure the other person is comfortable with what you are trying to do though. (8674)

9. I would be very conscious about how she was feeling throughout the date and I would wait for the what I believed would be the right opportunity to try something, like holding hands. If she was fine then I would probably feel out the situation and see if she would be comfortable with more, like a kiss. I probably wouldn’t try anything more than that since it would be the first time we were being intimate and I would want her to be comfortable at all times. (0242)

9)If I was completely sober I would have to be completely sure that she wanted to take things further. I would most likely want to hear from one of her friends that she was very interested in me. If not that then it would have to be an extremely obvious signal that she wanted to kiss me. If I had had a few drinks however, and had lots of “liquid confidence” as they say, I would make eye contact with her and slowly go in for the kiss. At that point, I would just see where it went from there. (1761)

#9. I would simply act out my intentions and would initiate whatever it is that I want to do and see if she reinforces it or not. If the situation does not seem right to initiate any physical intimacy I would openly ask her if her desires are similar to mine. (5966)

9. Waiting until I felt the time was right, I would start by upping the level, length of time, and intimacy of eye contact and attempt to gauge the acceptance, response, and reciprocation of this eye contact. If they are responding positively to this behavior, I would do the same in respect to physical touch, again gauging their body feedback. If all is well, I would then initiate the look. You know this look. At this critical juncture, they or their body will say yes or no. If yes, then I would kiss them and go from there all while maintaining proper communication and consent. (9698)

9. Since we had already been on a few dates, I definitely think it is acceptable to just attempt to kiss her. I would kiss her, and if she kissed me back, I might invite her to come over to my place. If she says yes, then we will go there. Let’s assume I want to have sex with her, I would kiss her again and keep kissing her if she responds. I might try to take off her clothes a little later as well. Every advance I make though I would want to be sure that she is into it, so if she has the slightest bit of hesitation I would back off. (3297)

9. I usually start with eye contact, smiling, joking and laughing to try be as comfortable as possible. If it's going well then you usually just keep getting closer and closer and it happens naturally. If that isn't the case, I usually then try to play them in a game of some sort and we each wager something for the winner. I’ll say if I win you have to give me a kiss or something cheesey and then all i have to do is make sure I win at whatever we playing. (5768)


9. I would probably find excuses to have physical contact with the girl, such as putting my arm around her shoulder, or holding her hand, etc. Her responsiveness to this would help me gauge how interested she is physically. Also, I might try to direct the conversation towards a more sexual topic, possibly with light jokes about sex. (0645)


9. Go out to dinner then to a movie and get close and make some kind of physical contact during the movie (e.g. hold hands, arm around her, hand on her leg, etc.) Upon leaving the movie theatre walk to the car, open the door for her but before she gets in kiss her and see where the night goes from there. (6163)

9.
I would probably try to sit close and then read her body language. I’d start by either putting my arm around here or holding her hand. If she responds positively then I’d contemplate taking it further. I would let her dictate how far she would want it to go. (4073)

9. I would probably just try holding her hand or try sitting closer to her. I would then gauge her response and enthusiasm and go from there. I would definitely let her determine how far the physical intimacy goes. (7737)

9. I would simply get closer to her and possibly try and hold her hand or go in for a kiss. The results of this gesture would tell me if there is reciprocal liking and then I would leave it up to her for how much further she wants to go. If there was no reciprocal liking indicated from the gesture, I would know for sure that nothing really serious would come from the relationship and I would just see her as a friend. (5835)

9. Situation 1: I would try and influence the person to become physically intimate by trying to make small hints that I wanted to be closer to her. I would try to maybe hold her hand, put my arm around her, or get physically close to her in any way that I find appropriate in the moment. (8355)

9.
I will politely ask them when I feel there should be any physical intimacy why there is one. Whatever their answer is will decide whether the date goes anywhere physically. Respect and consent are cool. (6438)

9.I tend to be very direct in a way that gives women a chance to reject the advance before it happens. If I want to make out with someone I am on a date with then I take them to a nice view of the city and express that this is a great place for a first kiss with a smile. I feel that just going in for the kiss is outdated and forceful on a girl who might not be comfortable with the situation. I certainly don’t ask to kiss them because I still enjoy the rush of being upfront and taking things where I want them to go, but I feel better about giving my date a moment to prepare or reject any first advance I am going make, at least until we know each other better and they are no longer first advances. (6275)

There are many variables that could explain the lack of intimacy but the main thing I would do is communicate my interest in intimacy through body language or touch. I would also try to make my appearance as attractive as possible to ensure mutual attraction. (8832)

9. According to the scenario, it would be fairly simple to achieve physical intimacy. I would be prepared in the sense that I would plan a romantic setting within the date, preferably someplace with some privacy. The romantic setting would include some generic stuff like chocolates, roses, and candles. The setting should also include some items of personal significance to the woman such as a favorite viewpoint, song, or color. Then I would subtly hint to a surprise. Once at the surprising romantic setting, simply turn on the Barry White and Marvin Gaye (if I can only have one song then “besame mucho” because that song is an instant babymaker). The rest is history as we figure how deep our love is. (2691)

Question 9. I would just be forthcoming about my intentions (4788).



#10. Situation 2: The date has been going well, but you do not feel particularly physically attracted by this person. However, you can tell that this person is really turned on by you. Still, you know you're not interested in physical intimacy, and/or the subsequent involvement or commitment that might follow. How would you influence this person to avoid becoming sexual?

10. I would create distance and use my body language to create barriers while lowering my level of eye contact. I would talk about something completely off the course they are wanting to take like wanting to go home or having a lot of work to do. If they did not pick up on the signals then I would have an open and honest conversation with them telling them in which ways I valued them as a person and in which ways I did not see our relationship heading, namely sex. I would never want to let them down hard. (9698)

#10. This is a really tough situation because I would not want her to think less of herself. I think I would try to kindly tell her I am not interested in that kind of relationship just so that she knows the truth rather than leading her on. (8674)

10. I would try to tell her kindly that I am not interested in her like that, but try to do it in a way that does not make her feel self-conscious or question her self-esteem. I would want to make sure that she does not feel like I am leading her on or that I might want something else from this relationship. (0242)

10. I would act in an honest manner and hope that she picks up the signals. If she does not, I would tell her that I am not interested in anything physical and make sure that I come out with it in the kindest and most supportive possible way to not hurt her (although trying to make sure she does not feel offended can sometimes take a lot of effort especially in such an awkward situation). (5966)

10. I would tell her either that I am too tired and want to go home or not feeling well. I think that makes it pretty obvious that I am not looking to get sexual in a nice way. If she said she wanted to go with me to my place I would just insist that I was too tired to do anything else that night or too sick. I would not want to be mean and tell her that I am not attracted to her. (3297)

10. I sometimes play dumb and act as if I'm not noticing any of the signs she is giving me. I find this technique to be beneficial because females are naturally going to assume that we are dumb clueless males who can't read signals, but in reality you are prolonging physical intimacy without hurting her feelings. (5768)

10) I would start treating her like a normal guy friend. I would say things like “dude no way!” and speak very casually. I would also try to keep my distance as much as possible so she doesn’t get touchy and I would give side hugs whenever possible. If she texted me I would also wait a long time to reply and continue to talk as casual as possible. (1761)

10. I would be sure to keep my interaction with her kind and interested, but not overly engaging or intimate. In other words, I would do my best not to give her a false green light to be come physical with me. I would keep the conversation away from sex, romance, or intimacy at all costs, and I would avoid any unneccesary physical contact. If contact did occur or she made a move on me, I would find a polite way to excuse myself, or simply be honest with her that I am not physically interested if I cannot get out of the situation with another reason. (0645)


10. Start acting like you were hanging out with an old friend making dumb jokes and treating her like one of the guys. Worse comes to worse bring up problems about another girl and throw out the whole “it’s nice to have a FRIEND to talk to” line. (6163)

10.
I would talk about things very blatantly to insure she doesn’t make the move. I would mention maybe someone else I’m seeing even if I’m not seeing anyone. (4073)

10. I would probably tell her that it isn’t going to work out between us or that we should see other people. I would try not to tell her that it’s because I’m not physically attracted to her but if she were to insist on knowing the reason I wouldn’t lie to her. I would just tell her in a kind and sensitive way. (7737)


10. I would avoid getting too close and keep an appropriate space between her and me. I would probably still talk to her the same as a person I was attracted to, but there just won’t be any intimate physical contact made with her. The main strategy is to keep throwing subtle nonverbal hints that I am not interested in her. If she is persistent in crossing into my space and keeps making moves, then I would have to be vocal and let her know what’s up. (5835)

10. Situation 2: If I was not physically attracted to the other person and did not want to become physically intimate with her, I would be upfront with her and tell her that I am not comfortable being physically intimate with her. I would rather be honest with her rather than leading her on and having her continue to believe that at one point we may become physically intimate even though I have no intention to do so. (8355)

10. Since the date has been going well, let it pan out. A good time is a good time but at the end of the date politely tell them that you were grateful for the time and company well-spent and then directly and explicitly say that, though it was a fun time, you do not see this going anywhere else past friendship. If they do not respect your statement, no regrets. (6438)

10.In those situations, I find it easy to avoid taking things further as usually I am looked to for making the first move so I simply don’t make it. If I am not looking to end up in bed with you then I either won’t start things down that road or I’ll be very clear about what my boundaries are. Although as a most recent date demonstrated she had no intent to listen to my boundaries when I was clear about what taking her out meant and she only saw them as temporary obstacles to her desires for the night. (6275)

It's not that complicated- I just wouldn't initiate or make advances where I didn't want them. If she still doesn't pick up the signals and starts initiating intimacy physically against my will I would just stop her. (8832)

10. According to the scenario, it would be fairly simple to avoid physical intimacy. If I have been dating this person for a month then I should know what this person does not like. One option would be to express all the things she dislikes in the world. If by some chance, she interprets this as a joke or game I would resort to the old-fashioned way of telling her I am not interested. If that does not work then I will enter full “douchebag” mode. If you are familiar with the American Comedy, The Office, there is an episode where Michael Scott changes his personality once he realizes he is in a date. I would simply channel the Michael Scott that Michael Scott channeled in that episode to disgust my way out of physical intimacy and hope for the best (or worst in her case). (2691)

Question 10. I would politely tell her that I am not interested in participating in any thing related to sexuality. (4788)



SENTENCE COMPLETION

For each of the following sentence fragments, complete the sentence, and, if you wish, add a few more sentences to complete your thought. Do not include the sentence stem in your response--only your answer to it.



#11. In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when...

11. When their partner is speaking, or interacting, with a potential, or actual, mating competitor. (9698)

#11. You spend time with another girl. Even if it is 100% platonic I feel like there

is still some worry. (8674).

11) I hang out with other friends who are female. (1761)

11. When I am talking to another girl. (0242)

#11. Their partners or the male they have feelings for look at/interact with other females. (5966)

11. When I am close with another girl. (3297)

11. Other females are involved. (5768)


11. …they recognize another woman’s attraction towards someone they like.
(7753)

11. they feel ignored (0645)


11. a guy is friends with a girl she doesn’t get along with or has bad history with. (6163)

11. You make friends who are girls. (4073)

11. Their boyfriend has other friends who are girls. (7737)


11. …other girls are infringing upon what they think is theirs. (5835)

11. you pay attention to other women (8355)

11. “you cheat on them emotionally.” (6438)

11.I am speaking to one of her best friends (6275)

11. other females show interest in you (8832)

11. I spend time with people of the opposite sex (2691)

Question 11. … they compare themselves with others that they view as smarter, prettier, richer, etc. (4788)



#12. When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex...

12. Should make it clear firstly whether they have the desire to or not and secondly which party they would prefer to initiate the first move. (9698)

12 They should make it clear from the beginning whether they want to or not. Also, they should let you know if they have any ground rules. (8674).

12. Always expects us to initiate the first move. (0242)

#12. Should make it clear what they want so that the male can decide to initiate or not initiate sexuality. (5966)

12. Usually waits for me to do it. (3297)

12. Will usually wait for the male to make the first move. (5768)

12)usually never makes the first move. (1761)

12 They should make it clear from the beginning whether they want to or not. Also, they should let you know if they have any ground rules. (8674).

12. …is either immediately into it or goes with the flow after a little coaxing and persistence.
(7753)

12. can be insanely stubborn about waiting for men to make the first move, or surprisingly aggressive at taking the reins. (0645)


12.gives mixed signs a lot of times and expects a guy to make the right move. (6163)

12.
Rarely does it. (4073)
12. Expect guys to make the first move. (7737)


12. …if really into it, will hold out waiting for the guy to initiate until it becomes unbearable and just goes for it. (5835)

12. expects a man to understand how they are feeling without having to tell him (8355)

12. “has been conditioned to never take initiative else be labelled a slut.” (6438)

12.Gives mixed signals all the damn time (6275)

12. Does a terrible job at expressing interest making it very hard for us to act. (8832)

12. Waits for the male to make the first move. (2691)

Question 12. … tends to wait for males to make the first move. (4788)





#13. The opposite sex seems clueless about...

13. The thought process males undergo while courting and what men think about daily. (9698)

13. That guys have emotions too and many of us are sensitive t the things they say. (8674).

13. That guys can also be nervous in different situations and may not always be more confident than they are. (0242)

#13. How much males think and talk about sex. (5966)

13. What men really want in life. (3297)
13) why guys care so much about sports and the importance of a good fantasy team. (1761)

13. some activities that they see as stupid and dangerous are really fun and aren't as risky as you believe. (5768)

13. spotting gay men (0645)


13.When a guy wants to be left alone he really doesn’t want to be around people, he isn’t using code talk like a female. (6163)

13.
Being direct with people. (4073)
13. The fact that not all guys are shallow and only interested in sex. (7737)

13. what it's like being a guy (5835)

13. that men can be emotional as well and not all men just pursue a relationship for sex (8355)

13. “blowjobs.” (6438)


13.The pressures faced by men, specifically pressures they lay on us themselves to be their everything (6275)
14. How often guys are constantly checking them out when wearing yoga pants (8832)

13. How manipulative males can be (2691)

Question 13. … sports. (4788)







#14. Being romantic is something that the opposite sex...

14. Cares very deeply about, likely to be reassured of the time and effort the other is willing to invest in a future with them. (9698)

14. Holds very dear as they should when they are in a relationship with someone (8674).

14. Values and expects the guy to make happen in the relationship. (0242)

#14. Puts way too much emphasis on. (5966)

14. loves and appreciates. (3297)

14. gets a false idea of due to romance books and movies. Hollywood creates fabricated romances that are produced for female audiences, which often times sensationalizes the love and passion that goes on between a couple. This distorted perception of romance is then taken by females and used as a blueprint, as they look to mold their boyfriends to fit this fictional fantasy. (5768)

14) always wants more of. (1761)

14. …acts as if it is important.
(7753)

14. was born to do. (0645)


14.Emphasizes to much. (6163)

14.
Loves to do (4073)
14. Demands of men while not necessarily putting in an equal amount of effort. (7737)


14. …are experts at. (5835)

14. pays a lot of attention to (8355)


14. “generally enjoys.” (6438)

14.Being romantic is something that the opposite sex has stigmatized just a bit too much (6275)

14. Idealize/ prioritize over of most other aspects. I hate "The Bachelor" tv show so much (8832)

14. desires and deserves (2691)

Question 14. … enjoys. (4788)





#15. Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship "tests" by...

15. Subjecting them to questioning on values-based topics, priorities, hypothetical situations, and short-term/long-term plans. Additionally, there will likely be tests involving faithfulness and honesty in the relationship. (9698)


15. Trying to test how much they care for them by how much they actually do for them, not just the words they say. They may check your phone too and see who you are talking to and what you are talking about. (8674).

15. Asking certain questions and creating space to see if we will make an effort to reach out to see if we are invested in the relationship. (0242)

#15. Finding something to get mad about when there is no good reason just to see that their boyfriend can react appropriately and make everything right for them (which sometimes is not the case and leads to argument/s). (5966)

15. Not saying how they are feeling so that the man will have to figure it out. (3297)

15) saying “nothing is wrong” and then seeing if we will dig deeper to find out the true issue. (1761)

15. Seeing if he is faithful. Most basic is going through our phone. In more extreme cases I have seen girls use their friends as bait to see exactly how faithful their boyfriend is. (5768)



15. …making them choose between them or their friends.
(7753)

15. picking fights, mentioning taboo subjects and watching our reactions, taking us to meet the parents, asking us what we think about children, pretending they are pregnant, leaving a room messy or trash out to see if we'll clean it up... (0645)


15. Expecting to be number one priority over everything even when they really know its not realistic. (6163)

15.
Asking questions and playing games (4073)

15. By not always saying what they mean but expecting their boyfriend to know exactly where they’re coming from and how they feel. (7737)

15. …playing games and asking questions. (5835)

15. asking questions about their relationship (8355)

15.“by something I have no idea about because I am not a part of his/her relationship.” (6438)

15.Pushing us away to see if we are deeply invested or not (6275)
15. See how far out of our way we will go for them. (8832)
15. Emotionally, physically, and psychologically torturing the male (2691)
Questions 15. … asking them questions about things they think they should know. (4788)





#16. The opposite sex seems to support equality for the sexes except when it comes to...

16. Social norms of courtship and the personal, temporal and financial investment involved. (9698)

16. Holding each other accountable. I will often times see guys get butchered for saying something superficial about a girl but when a girl does it to a guy it is completely fine. (8674).

16. Making the first move. (0242)

#16. Things like being a gentleman (e.g. paying for the first date, doing small tasks etcetera). It seems like females usually welcome any inequality that work in their favor, which I cannot say I really blame them for because there are many more that benefit males. (5966)

16) paying for dinner or opening doors. (1761)

16. Paying the same amount for food and on dates. (3297)

16. Recognizing the systematic inequalities men are subjected to. For example the extreme difference in the sentenced jail time for male vs female offenders. Statistics show that punishments are increased when crime is committed on a female. Furthermore, “men receive 63% longer sentences on average than women do," and "women are…twice as likely to avoid incarceration if convicted.". Moreover, there is an even larger gap between capital punishment between males vs females.
- http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1767508
http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2144002
__https://www.law.umich.edu/newsandinfo/features/Pages/starr_gender_disparities.aspx__ (5768)



16. …chivalry such as expecting men to pay for dinner and give them the whole princess treatment.
(7753)

16. asking men out on dates, being treated to food/outings constantly. (0645)



16.Chivalry. (6163)

16.
Paying the bill or making the move. (4073)
16. Making the first move or paying for dinner. (7737)


16. …emergencies and their survival is on the line. (5835)

16. being courteous (8355)

16.
“I have no idea but that just sounds like a bad feminist. Exceptions do not mean equal rights; exceptions mean privilege.” (6438)

16. Danger and protection (6275)
16. Them getting special treatment at parties/clubs for simply being a girl. (8832)

16. physical work (2691)

Question 16. … offering to pay on behalf of their partner. (4788)





#17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex...

17. Enjoys to a certain extent. Possessiveness in the agreement of a productive, respectful mutually exclusive relationship in which both partners are and feel independent and supported by the relationship is healthy. However, possessiveness to the extent of smothering the other partner to the point of their losing their sense of independence or freedom is not healthy or desired. No one wants to feel owned or controlled by another person. (9698)

17. I feel like they do not want to feel possessed by their partner. They want to
still be their own person. While it is important to feel safe in a relationship
I do not believe they want to feel like their love interest is constantly
keeping tabs on them. (8674).

17. Values however they do not want to feel like they are possessed by their partner nor that they possess their partner. (0242)

#17. Has too much of (becoming jealous when there is not really anything to get jealous about can sometimes irritate males, and rightly so). (5966)


17. Does to the person they are in a relationship with. (3297)

17. …can not over or even fake.
(7753)

17)takes very serious. (1761)

17. can get a little too intense about sometimes. (0645)

17. Shows in relationships. (6163)

17.
Sometimes has, depending on the person. (4073)
17. Critizes men about but has no problem with when it comes to themselves. (7737)


17. …can have like anybody else. (5835)

17. holds a double standard for (8355)

17.
“may or may not have.” (6438)

17.Can be extremely reasonable I have found (6275)

17. Possibly do more than males (8832)

17. Expresses in large amounts with constant cuddling, public affection, and personal competitiveness. By personal competitiveness, I am saying how if my girlfriend sees me laughing with another girl my girlfriend will make sure to laugh at everything I say. (2691)

Question 17. … thinks is sexy, but then realize is crazy! (4788)





#18. When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite sex...

18. Expends a great deal of time and effort to make themselves to be more attractive to attract higher quality and quantity of potential mates. (9698)

18. Physical attractiveness is important to them as well. If you are not physically attracted to the other person in some way it makes a serious relationship much more difficult. (8674).

18)only cares about this initially. Lots of girls these days want a good-looking boyfriend to take pictures with and post on Instagram to make other girls jealous. (1761)

18. Puts a lot of effort and value into making themselves “physically attractive.” (0242)

#18. Shows less interest than the male. (5966)

18. Puts a lot of time and effort into making themselves look more attractive. (3297)

18. is objectively way more asthetically pleasing to the eye than men are. (0645)



18. Holds it important for themselves to look good but when a guy wants a girl to look good she thinks he’s being shallow (6163)

18. Superior (4073)


18. Is just as shallow as men are but doesn’t seem to get as much shit for it. (7737)


18. …strive way too hard for and only become objectified in the process. (5835)

18. is very concerned with how they look physically (8355)

18.
“have been socialized to maintain their appearance because society heavily weighs their value on it.” (6438)

18.Evaluate it much the same as men do (6275)

18. Cares more about confidence/personality in a mate than men do (8832)

18. Is far more attractive and favors an athletic build for males (2691)

Question 18. … worries too much about when it comes to themselves. (4788)




#19. Money and status is are things that the opposite sex...

19. Have adapted to value greatly in a potential partner subconsciously to ensure higher chances of reproductive success. (9698)

19. For the most part does not care too much for but I think they are more attracted to someone with goals and ambitions when talking about a long term relationship. (8674).

19. May consider in a partner but does not determine if they will date them. (0242)

#19. Aim to reach primarily by marrying into (the easier way), and only secondarily by working for. It is also true that it takes more effort on their part compared to men’s to achieve similar levels of money and status. (5966)

19) likes to flaunt a lot on social media, even if they don’t actually have it. (1761)

19. Values in men even more than physical attractiveness. (3297)

19. react differently to. Some women are validated by their ability to buy things and influence others. Some are extremely down-to-earth. (0645)



19.Want in their future. (6163)

19. Are attracted to (4073)

19. Holds as a priority whether they admit it or not. They may be able to overlook these things in the short run but when it comes to long term, serious relationships a lack of either one of the two can be a deal breaker. (7737)


19. …through evolution have been preordained to look for. (5835)

19. seems to find is essential for a relationship (8355)

19.
“have been proven by research to generally be main mate selection points.” (6438)

19.Desire as much as men (6275)

19. Desire in a mate more than man do (8832)

19. are influenced by (2691)

Question 19. … cares about just as much as males. (4788)




#20. It hurts me most when the opposite sex...

20. Makes inaccurate assumptions about me or my “worth” based on my physical appearance and/or sex. (9698)

20. Makes assumptions about my goals and hobbies based on my gender. (8674).

20. Are self-critical about themselves due to another girl’s comment or by comparing themselves to someone else. (0242)

#20. Makes me feel like I am “out of her league”. (5966)

20. Assumes that all men are just looking to exploit women for sex. (3297)

shows insecurities (9701)

20. …acts towards me in a negative way because of prior experiences with guys that treated them poorly or because of untrue assumptions that they have about me.
(7753)

20. Is hypocritical about what they think about me. (0645)

20.Doesn’t trust me to be honest.

20.
Disrespect themselves by being promiscuous. (4073)
20. Ignore me or treat me like a douche bag when they don’t even know me. (7737)


20. …devalue how unique or special they are and I think try harder than guys to be like everybody else. (5835)

20. make assumptions about me (8355)

“hurts me.” (6438)

20.Don’t share the work of relationships and friendships (6275)

20) doesn’t even give me a chance because of how I look. (1761)

20. Get hurt by shitty men on different occasions which affects their general perspective of males (8832)

20. lies (2691)

Question 20. … excludes me. (4788)




#21. I feel best about the opposite sex when...

21. I can engage in a supportive relationship/friendship in which we both feel valued, respected, and able to speak freely and openly. (9698)

21. I can be open and honest with them about my thoughts and feelings. (8674)

21. I can have a good relationship with them and be myself and not placed in the male stereotypes that society has constructed. (0242)

#21. I feel desired and attractive. (5966)

21. I am in a loving relationship with someone. (3297)

21. …I find out that they are really into me or that our attraction is mutual.
(7753)

21. They use their charm and talent for care and consideration. (0645)


21. They go out of their way to support something that I am taking part in. (6163)

21.
Do things that I cannot.
(4073)

21. Are truly open and honest and allow me to be the same. (7737)

21. …their vanity is low and their ambition is high. (5835)

21. we have a genuine conversation (8355)

21. “when I do not lump them together as ‘the opposite sex.’” (6438)

21.Know themselves outside and inside of group classification (6275)

21) they’ve proved to be loyal friends and don’t care as much about what other people think of them. (1761)

21. They are empowered and act against female social norms (8832)

21. We are able to just be with each other and be happy (2691)


Question 21. … they are empowered. (4788)




OLD -- from previous classes

RESPONSES OF MEN FROM THE 2015 and 2014 CLASSES:



#1. Think about the previous interactions you have had with the opposite sex. Has a situation ever occurred with someone of opposite sex that you found deeply puzzling and/or incomprehensible? And which you also think is somehow a function of that person's gender (not just the specific individual involved)? If so, think about what happened, and the behaviors, cognitions, motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you found particularly puzzling


  1. 1.I can distinctly remember numerous occasions during which a female friend of mine has seemed very upset, yet when I attempted to ask her what was wrong she would never admit that she felt bothered. I repeatedly asked her if she was doing all right in just about every interaction, to which her response was always “I’m fine.” This tendency for women to expect men to intuitively understand what is going wrong with them in my opinion is extremely puzzling because it furthers them from acquiring any kind of empathy or guidance related to whichever issues they may be facing. I believe that this reaction is a function of the female gender rather than her individual personality given that the same experience has occurred with my self and multiple friends regarding other women as well. While I concede that men are more often susceptible to hiding their emotions altogether, I don’t understand why women show them so visibly and yet attempt to deny anything is wrong.



  1. 1.Females have a tendency to be very indecisive. I do not understand how females can stand to not make choices quickly. When asked over and over again what they think or how they feel it takes a while to finally get a straight answer. For females, it is very important how others think of them including their close friends and family. I think that holding high standards to others’ opinions is where this bazar habit has stemmed from. Many female friends of mine will go shopping and spend hours deciding whether or not to by a shirt, or dress, or a necklace and most of the time will walk away with neither option. 6867

1. There have been many instances in the past in which my girlfriend has expressed sudden jealousy and anger when I give attention to other people. Obviously, one could expect interactions with other girls to be a problem, with fears of undue flirting. However, this also occurs when I am giving attention to my male friends as well. While this could possibly be due in part to personality, I am convinced that it must mainly be an issue of gender. For one, I have had similar experiences with other women in my life ( e.g. my mom). Also, I cannot think of any male friend, family member, or acquaintance who has ever remotely displayed such a reaction.
1. A few semesters ago, I had a class with this one girl who sat in front of me. One day I came to class and although I didn’t have a chance to talk to her yet, I could tell she was in a really bad mood. A few minutes later she turned around and in an angry tone, asked me why I hadn’t added her on Facebook yet. The truth is that I’m not a huge fan of social media and adding her on Facebook simply slipped my mind. I was pretty shocked by the intensity of her reaction and I left that class pretty puzzled and confused. 2618
1. What I completely don’t understand is how the tone of a woman’s voice entirely supersedes anything she says. The typical one that I get from women, and what I got from my ex-girlfriend was the typical, “Are you doing alright,” followed by the ever infuriating “I’m fine.” She is clearly NOT fine but she wants you to play this whole game of reading her mind because she thinks that all men are capable of reading minds. Which they are most definitely not. It turns into a guessing game, though sometimes it’s rather obvious what it is; but she wants you to jump through hoops to get to the source of her discontent. 3471
The most puzzling part of this is that these bouts of jealousy seem to often occur right after moments of pure contentment or intimacy between my girlfriend and I. It literally feels like there is a switch on the back of the head that turns on the bad vibes. With my mom, it seems to be more of a surpressed indignation over the family's general lack of appreciation for her efforts as a provider and organizer. When times are good, there's no mention of any problem. However, as soon as a dish is broken, or a trash bag is not taken out, there is hell to pay for how hard she strives to help the family "survive", and how little I or my father do to assist in the campaign. (0645)
In high school, I remember one instance when my girlfriend at the time got mad at me for being good friends with an ex-girlfriend, even though I explained thoroughly that my relationship with the ex was strictly platonic. What puzzled me about this was when I questioned her about her exes, my girlfriend got mad at me for bringing it up. I was somewhat confused by the expectations that she held concerning me and those she expected me to have of her. Also, I am absolutely dumbfounded about how easily any female I've interacted with is capable of overreacting emotionally to the smallest of events. (0383)


I can never understand the abuse that girls tolerate from boyfriends and lovers on a consistent basis. Too frequently, especially in college, I hear stories from friends (or friends of friends) about how their boyfriend cheated on them again, or yelled at them again, or insulted them again. And they’ll cry, talk all night about how much it hurt them, and maybe even claim they’re going to leave the guy the next day. But they don’t. They stick with the jerks even after they’ve realized what kind of person they really are, all the while overlooking other guys in their life who would kill for the chance to treat them the way they should be treated. I’ve seen this too often in women, too infrequently in men, and with many different kinds of girls, for it to not be a function of gender. I think that women tend to try to see the good in men, while men are more likely to make quick judgments about what kind of girl a certain person is (party girl, good girl, datable, etc.) and not alter them. It may also be a result of lower self-esteem. At this stage of our lives, I think attractiveness is weighted too heavily in romantic decisions, while morality and character go by the wayside. The more intense emotions women feel as a result of sex may lead to the formation of a strong bond with someone, one that is difficult to break. Basically, most girls can do better than what they’ve got, they just don’t seem to know it. (3595)



1. A situation that has been confusing to me, with the opposite sex, is when you are out with a female and they get offended or upset when you make a comment about another female or just look at another female. It makes me wonder if they are really that insecure about themselves that they have to be made to thought they are the only female in the universe the moment they are with you. The thought process which females have puzzles me. What could they possibly be thinking that they think they are not guilty of finding other people attractive, they are also just human. The only difference is they don’t say anything and may observe someone of the opposite sex more discretely. When it comes down to it all I can think of to explain this is that they would rather just not know what we really think and just want to know and see what makes them, feel secure. Personally I don’t mind a female looking at someone else or making a comment, this make me feel more trusting of them since they don’t feel the need to hide things. (6163)


1. It seems as though women drop very subtle hints as to whether they consider you a friend or as something more. Most of which are ambiguous and difficult to decipher. I feel as though I must make the move and interpret them correctly as males must be viewed as the aggressor in pursuing a relationship. It’s hard because you don’t want to overstep your boundaries and make things awkward. I think women don’t ever want to be the aggressor and so must send out subtle hints to not appear that way. They also tend to date assholes. (4073)



1. I have a friend who may be the sweetest girl in the world. She is very smart and usually gives my friends, male and female, good advice about dating and relationships. However she has a propensity for falling for guys who are complete assholes and who treat her like shit. She currently likes this guy who a majority of our mutual friends feel is a douche bag. He is rude and inconsiderate not only to her but to us as well. The kicker is that this guy is not even particularly attractive. I think this just goes to show that even the best girls have a thing for arrogant, rude assholes. I just can’t comprehend why women are attracted to men who treat them so badly. (7737)

1. I was dating a girl once who cheated on me. I knew that it had happened, but I double checked my sources before I talked to her about it. When I finally confronted her she told me that it didn’t happen and became very defensive, trying to somehow turn the blame around on me. She told me all of the problems that she was having with our relationship, reasons why she might cheat, but refused to admit that she had done anything with anyone else. Our relationship ended, and she still continued to deny it. Even when she started dating the guy that she had cheated on me with she still made a point to tell me that she had never cheated on me with him, despite the fact that not only did I not care at this point, but also I had stopped asking. I’ve had similar sorts of situations with other girls in which they deny something that is verifiably true and I don’t understand why. It seems that they are trying more to convince themselves that it isn’t true than convince anyone else. (7858)

1) Women tend to give subtle hints to indicate their interest or lack of interest in someone, but these hints can be very ambiguous and sometimes impossible to decipher. As a male, I am expected to make the first move in establishing a relationship, but sometimes I make mistakes in deciphering their hints. What makes it worse is that if you get the hint wrong, you can be conveyed as a creep. Ultimately, women expect men to accurately pick up their subtle hints, which can be like predicting the outcome of a role of the dice. (2412)

1. I just got out of a very confusing relationship. The most puzzling thing about it is that what I would say would be taken out of context. I would feel that I was being very upfront and clear with my intentions as well as my thoughts on the relationship. I feel that the female and females in general may bring too much emotion into relationships. Of course passion and emotion is necessary for any relationship to function, but too much emotion may cause problems to arise. (5343)

I recently had an interaction with a female where she proceeded to tell me that she did not believe in chivalry from men. She explained to me that she doesn’t think that men need to constantly be helping women, opening the door for them etc. She told me that women can do those things on their own and don’t need guys always doing it for them. She was a strong believer in feminism and I could tell she felt strongly about women doing things for themselves and being independent. I was very puzzled at everything she was telling me. I had never encountered a woman before who did not believe in chivalry. Most women who I talk to about chivalry often complain that men are terrible at it and that chivalry is dead these days. (3800)

1. In the past I have dealt with girlfriends that absolutely go ballistic if you talk to another girl. My personality is naturally flirtatious and I had a girl lose it whenever I would talk with another girl. Something that I think is not a problem at all suddenly transformed into a fight over nothing. I found it puzzling that they would get so mad over something so little when they know it is part of who I am. (3617)

  1. The most puzzling interaction I have had was with my girlfriend. She is always mad, for no apparent reason (at least, no reason to me). When I would ask her what is wrong, she would give me three chances to guess. I would either have to guess it right and have her blow up on me a couple minutes later or guess it all wrong just to have the same results. I think this is a display of how girls tend to think all guys are mind-readers. It’s the man’s fault so he should know what’s wrong and why she is mad. Eventually, I would find out that her anger stemmed from something trivial. For example, she would be mad because she found a photo on Facebook where I was hugging a girl. (3637)

1. Why do you say "everything is fine" when it clearly isn't. Just tell me what's going on, I promise that I'm not going to stop listening mid-sentence or try to take sides. If you need to vent, for god's sake just vent. I don't see the point in you sitting there mad at everything when just sitting there and stewing is going to make the problem go away. I'm also not a mind reader so I don't know what you're thinking, and I think it's pretty unfair of you to expect me to just understand what you're feeling without you communicating it clearly. Just tell me even if you need 1000 words to do it. Just know that I'm here and I'm not leaving because I know you need someone and that may as well be me (1151).


There is one thing about women that I don’t understand more than anything else. I have noticed that they will have a very big problem with something, big enough to warrant them complaining about it, yet they don’t feel the need to take steps to solve the problem. For instance my ex had a huge problem with her position at work and her supervisors. Instead of talking to those in change of her placement about her problems or stepping down from the role, she stayed in the position for months while remaining unhappy about it. I noticed the same thing with my sister when she played club volleyball. She hated her coaches and despised the way they practiced. She would come home crying after every practice but would not leave the team. I think the case for this might be that many women don’t feel independent enough to leave the group or admit that they have a problem with those who they feel they should respect. 5215



1. To say I’ve had plenty of puzzling and incomprehensible interactions with members of the opposite sex would greatly be considered an understatement. There are many particular situations where I have been confused by the actions and intentions of a particular female as a result of our gender differences. One instance involves my relationship with a particular individual. She’d often say some words that made her appear distressed. However when I would go and confront her in person, she wouldn’t make any reference to what she had previously whether it was through text or phone call. (4998)

1. Up until college, I went to school with my sister. The product of these many years together, attending the same school gave me insight on another perspective on the experience. Throughout the years, numerous events and ‘moments’ would happen that would make me question the difference between males and females. I would often be left thinking, “this does not seem like a big deal” or I would make suggests on how to resolve conflicts that arose between her friend groups. She would always say something to the extent of “You do not get it.” or “It does not work like that.” I feel like my disconnect is largely based and originates from the gender roles and socialization that happens upon the two sexes. I think from early age, males and females are taught different ways they ought to act and behave, which results in the problems and this perceived difference that we have today (I believe it only to be perpetuated by social norms and gender roles..)





#2. In general, what do you like about the opposite sex? What do you dislike? Again, think of the opposite sex in general, as they actually are, not how you might like them to be different.

The traits that in general I like most about women are related to their compassion, sense of caring, and openly expressed emotionality. Being an emotional guy myself, it can be frustrating at times feeling like I have very few close friends whom I can turn to in states of distress. I have found over the years that close female friends are much more receptive toward discussing and empathizing with issues occurring in my life. Similarly, I believe that women possess an ability to nurture and care for others that men simply will never be able to replicate. There are, however, sides of the female persona that I dislike at times. I think one of the major causes of issues between men and women are the differing styles of communication. Men tend to be more direct and upfront about what they want and how they feel whereas women are much less direct. This leads to incorrect interpretations on both ends when trying to resolve issues. Another female characteristic I dislike is their indecisiveness. Women as a whole have a harder time pinpointing exactly what they want and going after that goal. I can’t speak for all men, but in my own experience when I want something I commit to it and pursue my goal until I achieve it.
.
In general, I like that women are nurturing, sociable, organized, open to emotional intimacy and they are beautiful. Generally I dislike how women can be overly emotional, unclear, passive aggressive, judgmental, indecisive, and they often speak in code. 2618

I appreciate that females are organized individuals. Everything has a place to go and they get happy when it all looks good. They are also very good about keeping up with their physical looks. From shaving to haircuts and to clothing, women strive to look their best for any occasion. Whether it is going out to the grocery store or running to the mall, they cannot leave unless they are somewhat put together. The daily wear and tear of life is masked behind the make up unlike males. Women also tend to be very nurturing individuals. They are quick to help out friends with any problem and have the ability to console and talk out just about any situation. On the other hand, they get very cliquey and judgmental of those that aren’t a part of their group. Women can easily shut out anyone that has wronged them and will not let go of any grudge. Once something is done, it is almost impossible for them to move on and forget about it. Women like attention and constantly seek it out in their actions and words by being passive aggressive and dissatisfied with what is going on so someone can talk to them. They enjoy it when people are at their side paying attention to their every move. Women are obsessed with the technological society we live in today with all the filtering and posing and selfies for social platforms like Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. 6867

2. Overall, I think the most admirable trait of the female gender is its ability to love and care for others. Women seem to tap into these wells of thoughtfulness and consideration that try as I might, I will never find. The women in my life are always remembering my birthday (and furthermore give me gifts for it), calling to say "hi" because they miss me, and often deferring their own plans or pursuits to help me out when needed.
In terms of dislikes, it seems that women have a tendency to over-analyze situations. Not only can this be annoying as a male who does his best to not "sweat the small stuff", it can sometimes be outright dangerous in a relationship with a woman, romantic or otherwise. In terms of annoyance, you can always count on a girl to have an hour-long soap opera story about how her friend told her such a thing, and how your friend cannot determine whether this has a hidden meaning and implication for their friendship or not. In terms of danger, one can never know when an impending arguement with a girl is incoming because of the most insignificant action or word on your part. For example, telling a female friend that you will call her when your group of friends goes out for dinner and forgetting, may take more than just a simple "sorry" to remedy. Also, offering to help another girl with an errand might be a declaration of war to your girlfriend. It sometimes seems that female cognition is almost wired completely differently from males. (0645)

Women’s greatest trait is their remarkable sensitivity, something I relate to as an overly-sensitive man. I’ve always found it much easier to be open with women, to unload any and all emotional burdens I’ve been carrying without great fear of criticism. Not only will they listen in full and console with hugs or words, but they will try to provide useful solutions, typically something other than the “man up” advice other men may give. This may be obvious, but the best person to talk to about problems you’re having with other women is a female friend. In a world that demands strength and emotional fortitude from men pretty much all the time, the nurturing warmth and comfort women provide is an all too welcome break. On the flip side, women never tell you what they want directly, particularly if what they’re trying to tell you is important. While shyness is understandable, it seems silly to be this way with men, for whom helping other women or making them happy is sort of a natural instinct. While being sensitive is great, women are incredibly easy to offend, particularly in terms of body image. Even things as indirect as saying that “I remember you, you were with that really pretty girl” will make her say “what, you don’t think I’m attractive?” Even simple actions taken by women tend to be premeditated and multilayered with meaning, which presents two problems: one, that they expect you to understand these things, and two, that they analyze your actions in the same way. (3595)

2.There are many things that I like about women. I like the way that their smile can light up a whole room. I like the way that take extra care in the little things that I and other men may just gloss over. I like the way that they can read emotional cues and body language that would go unnoticed by guys. I like the way that they care. How they want to know what is going on in your life and want to do everything in their power to fix even the smallest problems that you may be having.
On the other hand, I dislike how play games when it comes to their own issues. Beating around the bush that is. When they have a problem and say that nothing is wrong but are upset when you do not push them to tell you the issue. (7858)


  • I really like how girls are fairly good at expressing emotional intimacy. They don’t shy away from expressing their emotions, whether it’s sad or happy or frustrated. Also, their talkative nature is actually nice in helping to continue conversation but also they are very engaging at the same time. With that, women are quite sociable and don’t shy away from having small talk or a full serious talk. It’s always great having a girlfriend as well as girl friends that are willing and ready to chat, whether it’s about normal day-to-day things or serious/emotional topics. Women are very organized and this is great because I am not as organized as I’d like; they tend to be very tidy and clean which is definitely a plus in my book. Lastly, I love that women are very warm and caring. It means a lot to have a guy be there for you but a girl friend adds a different level of nurturing and gentle care to a conversation or a moment.

One thing that bugs me the most about women is that they are not only unclear (or don’t voice at all) what they want but they more importantly are passive-aggressive about a lot of things. Going off that, women tend to be passive-aggressive in the way they say something, not the words she says. She will say something but in a clearly discontent tone rather than saying what she really wants. Women are cliquey and hold grudges much worse than guys, and it’s remarkable to see how women will hold a grudge for years over something incredibly insignificant that happened in high school. They are also judgmental, not just of guys (appearance, demeanor, personality, etc.) but of other women (appearance, demeanor, personality, etc.). With the unclear and passive-aggressive talking, it is clear that women are much more attention-seeking, which is why they tend to play more games and don’t convey messages clearly so they can garner more attention. 3471
2) Women have many great qualities to them, for example: their compassionate nature, empathy, and of course physical beauty. On the other hand, women tend to have some qualities that can be unpleasant to men. Women tend to have a very complex nature that usually results in a passive-aggressive behavior, an indecisive mentality, and a “catty” attitude towards other women. (2412)

2 .There are a number of things that I like about females. The sex appeal they have to me is one of the top things. Also, the maternal instincts they have are also something I like a lot considering my close relationship with my mother. They often bring a very different point of view of a given situation that their male counterpart would not. I dislike the way that they can be very “catty” with other females. I feel males see other males as competition to better them self whereas females just see other females as threats so they try to tear them down with words and assumptions of them. I also dislike their need for constant commitment even before any real relationship status has been established. (6163)


2. I like how different women are then men. They think differently by looking at the world with a more empathetic view and motivate us to be better. I also think women are objectively better looking. I dislike that they complain about problems but don’t ever feel the need to solve them. Any suggestion on what to do usually warrants a negative response. I also feel as though they blow a lot of situations out of proportion by over analyzing them. (4073)


2. I like the fact that women are generally clean and well groomed. Cleanliness and good hygiene are things that are important to me, and I can appreciate the effort that females put into themselves. I also like how women generally have sweet, caring, and nurturing dispositions. I like when women are like this with me, but I also like it when they extend this compassion to others, even strangers. I also admire the fact that women are strong and independent despite the obstacles they are met with. I dislike how women can be ridiculously stubborn and how they can hold grudges for obscene amounts of time. I also dislike how materialistic they can be. I especially dislike how women can be extreme feminists and act paranoid and project chauvinistic qualities on men simply because that’s what they expect or that’s how certain men have treated them. (7737)



I like that women are compassionate and tend to be able to comfort me better than my male friends. I dislike that females expect males to be more emotionally available in relationships. (0383)


There are a few different things I like about the opposite sex. One, women are very compassionate and caring. They have a certain motherly instinct that is very comfortable to be around. Second, women tend to be very organized for the most part. It is nice to leave the cluttered life of a man and go to a place that looks half ways decent. Third, and going close together with being organized, women take good care of themselves. They tend to look nicer and have better hygiene then men do. There are also some qualities that aren’t as positive about the opposite sex. Women seem to be very attention oriented. It is as if they need constant acknowledgement and reassurance. I feel that this need for reassurance comes from women's insecurity, which I see as a second negative attribute. This insecurity gives way to jealousy which is another factor that is difficult to deal with. As stated in the earlier response, women tend to act irrationally or bring too much emotion into things. In general women tend to be seen as being too dramatic in a relationship compared to how men behave. (5343)

I like that females have a motherly caring characteristic. Females are very loving and passionate about things important to them. I also like how organized and clean women are. I like how independent women are, they have a life of their own and pride themselves on their self-reliance. I enjoy the physical beauty of women. I also like how mature women are. I enjoy how a woman can make a man feel they can let their guard down around her, become more open and emotional with her. I dislike how insecure women are about themselves, including their physical features. I also dislike how attention hungry women are. They thrive on the attention they receive from the opposite sex and are seeking it constantly. If a woman doesn’t receive enough attention they get mad and begin to feel insecure. I dislike how flirtatious most women are. Women flirt with men to receive attention, not because they are genuinely interested in the guy. They flirt because they like to feel in control of the situation and they enjoy leading men on. I dislike how controlling women are, they always feel the need to be in control of every situation and of other peoples lives. I dislike how emotional women get, they are not good at controlling their emotions. One of the things I hate most about women are how gossipy they are with each other. Women’s conversations with each other usually consist of gossiping about others and sometimes. I dislike how judgmental women are, they formulate ideas and beliefs based off of little to no information on the other person. (3800)

2. When I think of what I like about the female sex, obviously their looks is something that is at the top of the list. Also, I like their naturally caring nature; they have an intrinsic nature to be caring and gentle. However, I dislike how they can be so ambiguous. In my experience with girls they may say one thing, yet mean something entirely different, whereas with a guy, what they say is what they mean. (3617)

2. The number one thing males like in females are their bodies. It is programmed in our brains to look for a female with a nice figure. I like how females are able to express their emotions (to a certain extent). There is a social stigma that guys aren’t manly if they express too much emotion and females do it just fine. I also like the fact that females are more nurturing than males. An example would be that they would tend to take more responsibility if they were to have a baby. Another positive would be their different perspective on things. They tend to see things in a different light than males. The fifth would be their attention to their image. Males tend to just throw clothes on while females tend to spend time choosing what makes them look good.
I dislike how fake girls are to others, how they backstab their close friends with gossip, are insecure about their image, overly dramatic, and over think things. Girls tend to put on a lot of fake smiles and say nice things about someone they hate when the person is there, but right when that person leaves, she’s going to express how she really thinks. They like to gossip, especially about the people they are close with and are not direct with their comments as males are. They, often times, feel the need to impress others and they do this by dressing up, putting on make-up, and watching what they eat. They make little things into huge problems. They also over think things such as when a male says “I’m fine”. (3637)

2. I like talking to most women. I don't like talking about myself unless someone asks me questions, and I know women always engage in small talk that just seems pointless. Still, I enjoy listening to that "pointless" small talk. I feel like that when they do that around me, they feel comfortable with me and I get to know them better as a person. It's that kind of personal connection that I think I lack on a regular basis that makes relationships genuine to me. Still what frustrates me about women at the same time is the many things that they are able to talk about. I enjoy the small talk, but outside of hanging out it seems like too many times there are too many irrelevant things that they're worrying about (don't know if that last part came out exactly as I wanted it to come across) (1151).


Something I really like about women is that I find them very easy to talk to. They are very open, interested, and caring if the situation is right. You can talk to a girl you do not know and she might feel a little nervous about it, but she is usually more open to speaking than a man. I also feel more open to talk about my emotions with the opposite sex. I can say what I am actually feeling, and I feel that they will be more accepting and appreciative of my sensitive side. I do not like to talk about what is going on in my life as much with members of my sex, men do not do a very good job of comforting and understanding, we are much more interested in what
we have going on and friendship to us is more about having somebody to do activities with to ween off boredom than it is about emotional support. 5215


2. As agreed upon in the previous lecture, I find myself drawn towards their physical beauty and their tendency to be more welcoming and inviting when meeting someone for the first time. Although this might be a stark generalization, males typically are not as welcoming and inviting as compare to females. Females make of an effort to be entertain their guests and be courteous to them. What I dislike about females are that they can often be indecisive and may spend more time making decisions and taking action compared to males. (4998)

2. I like that women are generally more inclined to noticing details and whether or not they act upon these feelings appreciate the intricate details. I like that they have a different perspective on life , even that some of those things are created by gender roles. Women are open and receptive to feels, either in expression or receiving. On the same note, it can be seen as ‘over the top’ or aggressive when they are so focused on details and minor things.




#3. What is the one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about your own sex

I think that women most misunderstand that men do possess very strong emotions, and almost universally have a more difficult time expressing them given societal expectations. Women are told that expressing the way they feel is perfectly acceptable and that emotionality is to be embraced. Men, on the other hand, are constantly told to be macho and suppress their fears and sadness because they are “signs of weakness.” Attempting to uphold this illogical standard causes many men to shy away from self-expression and bottle many problems up that they would otherwise want to discuss with a trusted friend. In other cases, men seek other less effective ways toward coming to terms with their problems, which usually are viewed as self destructive or selfish.

Females misunderstand the romantic nature that men have. With their constant complaints that men only want sex and would do anything for it, they are suddenly overwhelmed with joy when a guy supposedly “treats them right”. Males are able to emotionally connect with women; we just do not do it with every single woman we come across. With the right girl, a guy will try to “woo” her and then does “romantic” activities that female’s wish they did all the time. 6867

Women often misunderstand that I love you does not mean I can read your every thought. Women think all men care about is sex when that is not always the case. 2618

3. The opposite sex seems to believe that all men care/think about is sex. Yes it is true that men very often think of sex, but that is not the most important thing to men nor is that all men think about. I believe that women think about sex just as much as men do but women either do not like to admit it, do not know how to handle their feelings or fail to act upon their emotions/urges to protect their reputations/image.
(7753)

3. The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to surpress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent.
I believe women are looking for certain benchmarks of emotion, such as sharing all our problems or insecurities with them, and asking how their day went. When these certain criteria are not met, they mistakenly assume that emotions are simply not the male forte. Guys care, and think about emotions a lot. We just do not always need to express them. (0645)
3. Not everything is about sex. (7858)
Women always misunderstand that men are incapable of doing and knowing what women will find romantic. Men are very much capable of being romantic and it’s such a great feeling when you do something overly romantic and see the look of excitement on her face. It’s almost thrilling to surprise women, especially a significant other, with an overly romantic gesture or gift. 3471
3. The most misunderstood thing about males is that females believe we are emotionally simple. This is far from the truth males just have different emotions provoked by certain things and even when the same emotions are provoked the way of dealing with said emotion is different for males. Males are just different, not simple. (6163)


It seems that women believe that men are all lovers of sexual conquest, not caring for whose feelings get trampled in the way. Some are this way, maybe too many, but more often than women care to think or admit, guys’ feelings are the ones getting trampled after one night stands. (3595)

3. Women think guys just care about sex. It may be true in some guys, but not all. And Ironically if a guy isn’t crazy about sex they feel as though the male isn’t interested in them or something is wrong with him. (4073)

3. I believe that the one thing that women most misunderstand about men is that the actions and flaws that they complain about us having are actually, whether they realize it or not, reinforced by how they treat and interact with us. Women complain about men being shallow and insensitive and treating them badly. However women are just as shallow in their dealings with men, and they are the ones who put up with and who are even attracted to men who treat them in these ways. If women didn’t date assholes then maybe they wouldn’t complain about their boyfriends treating them like dirt. I’m not saying that women who make mistakes like this deserve men treating them the way they do. No one deserves to be treated badly. All I’m saying is that women have a lot more control over the situation than they think. (7737)


I think that women misunderstand the competition that men have with one another, and how males are drawn to sports in particular. (0383)


I feel that most women expect men to be mind readers. Granted, women are better all around communicators but I feel that a lot is hidden in their nonverbal signals. I feel that men are held at fault for not picking up on these nonverbal cues and are held accountable for it. (5343)

The one thing women misunderstand most about men is we actually do care about girls in more than a physical aspect. Our society has constructed the belief that all guys are assholes and don’t genuinely care about girls beyond their bodies. There are guys who are like this but women must realize there are always exceptions too. Men aren’t going to care about every women they ever meet because we simply do not work that way. Men are looking for the right women, once we find them, caring for that person will come naturally. Women must understand that men aren’t always interested in physical ßaspects of women, although our society continues to portray men like this, it is not a belief that applies to the entire male population. (3800)

3. I think the one thing that women misunderstand about men is when they say men are bad at communicating and being relatable. Just because men don’t excessively show their emotion all the time like women do doesn’t mean they don’t show their emotions. Men just show their emotion at times that truly do need emotion do be shown, whereas women exemplify their emotions over the smallest things. (3617)

3) Women often to think of men as being “horny” and wanting nothing more than a sexual conquest. Additionally, women often portray a man’s interest in woman as being purely or mainly physical. (2412)

3. Females need to understand that males are pretty simple people. We are direct, to the point, blunt when we have to, and do not beat around the bush. When we say that we are fine, it actually means that we are fine. There is no underlying meaning in the words we say. With this being said, females need to stop overthinking everything we say and stop analyzing things such as the tone, the sentence structure, etc. of the things we say.

I think guys underestimate how hard it is to be a girl and don’t realize that girls don’t always choose to get moody and emotional —sometimes they cannot control it. (hormones). They’re like “oohh they just have to wear high heels and shirts that flash their boobs. They have it so easy. Guys have to do all the work.” Girls have a lot more pressure put on them than most guys realize, and it is the men who create this pressure. Do they think that we like PMSing?? That is it fun for us? Do they think that we feel good about ourselves after we irrationally act like a bitch? No. Do they think that we like having all these hormonal emotions and feelings? No. Sometimes girls don’t have a choice whether they are moody or not, it comes with being a girl. (1109)”
I will never understand as to how girls become moody just due to hormones. This comment seems to be putting the blame on the PMS or the changing hormonal levels in their body as an explanation as to why girls are so moody.(3637)

3. I think women commonly misunderstand that guys really don't know anything unless you tell us. Yeah, they say "men need help" or "men are stupid," which makes them seem like they understand that we need help in understanding (and which by the way generally are true statements), but if they really did understand that then why has their behavior not changed? I think most men are very willing to hear a woman out when she has a complaint, but usually when we inquire we are always given "I'm fine," so any person could reasonably assume that she's fine. After all, if a person wasn't fine, what advantage do they gain by saying that they weren't? But as most people know, this isn't true when speaking with a woman, so we do try to follow up, but sometimes we don't know whether or not we should follow up. We know that when a woman says she's fine, she's probably not fine, so we probably should follow up, but then we run the risk of her really getting mad if we do follow up. It's always walking on eggshells around them when there is a problem, and though we are trying our best it doesn't seem like they're willing to meet us halfway (1151).

Women do not understand that while it is true men are horny almost all the time, we also want more than sex. Sex is better with somebody you care about and there are so many more benefits to having a committed partner than not having one. When you are in a relationship you get to cuddle, go on cute dates, always have someone there when you get bored, and have someone who is going to trying to make you happy. 5215


3. I personally feel that the main thing the opposite sex misunderstands about my own sex is our intentions. They often overlook and misinterpret much of what we have to say. I’ve realized that there is a habit among many of the members of the opposite sex to read between the lines, and create meanings and problems that weren’t there over words that may have been said during a conversation. Generally speaking, men are fundamentally simple beings. (4998)

Girls most misunderstand that when a guy says “I’m fine” it’s either because he truly is fine or because he doesn’t want to talk about what’s wrong. It honestly has NOTHING to do with you. It doesn’t mean we’re mad at you or that we dislike you or that we don’t want to open up specifically to you. It just means that we don’t want to talk about it. (0150)

I believe women see men as emotionless walls only interested in sex. While this is certainly true in some cases, it is a social construct that many men feel they must adhere to in fear of being a “pussy”. Men have emotions and insecurities about appearance, sexual performance and incompetency just like women do. The influence of these constructs affects females as well but I believe they are not talked about as often for males.

3. I think the biggest misconception about males is the fact that we are simple or dumb. While males have been taught from an early age to not express emotions, they still reside in the men. The the generalize outward appearance of males is known to be messy, lazy and straight forward. This perception undercuts the male capacity to connect.







#4. Think about a time when you found yourself particularly attracted to someone of the opposite sex. What characteristics of that person do you think attracted you? What was the most important factor that attracted you to this person, e.g., physical appearance, personality traits, self-confidence, social status, friendly gestures toward you, etc.

I distinctly remember when I met my now girlfriend for the first time – I was attracted to everything about her. Her smile was (and remains) contagious, which I remember lifting my spirits whenever I saw her. Her personality and character were (and are) without a doubt my favorite part about her and arguably her most attractive traits now that I know her much better. That is not to say, however, that she is not the most gorgeous girl I have ever laid my eyes on. The reason why I attempted to talk to her in the first place was the fact that she is drop dead gorgeous. I turned around in a class that we shared one day and after being greeted by her beautiful brown eyes I couldn’t get the thought of her out of my head for the rest of the day. Her physical beauty definitely played a strong role in my attraction to her, but for me personally a woman’s personality plays a much larger role. I couldn’t care less about social status.

Eyes and general physical appearance often come first when I am attracted to someone. After the physical aspect, I am attracted to self confidence, personality traits, and authenticity. Although physical attributes are important to me, what really makes a girl beautiful or sexy is her personality and how she carries herself. 2618


Females misunderstand the romantic nature that men have. With their constant complaints that men only want sex and would do anything for it, they are suddenly overwhelmed with joy when a guy supposedly “treats them right”. Males are able to emotionally connect with women; we just do not do it with every single woman we come across. With the right girl, a guy will try to “woo” her and then does “romantic” activities that female’s wish they did all the time. 6867

4. When I first met my girlfriend, the first attraction was purely physical. I was struck by how pretty her face was, and then secondly attracted to the shape of her body. However, what made her stick in my mind was her "cool" almost aloof manner. She did not give me a particularly warm "girly" greeting. Instead, it was a polite greeting, and a general sense of disinterest in me. I am not sure if this made me crazy about her because she seemed so unattainable, or something else. However, my attraction to her deepened when I was informed by a friend that in fact she was incredibly attracted to me, and was attempting not to over-play her hand. (0645)

It sounds rather shallow but the first thing I noticed was her physical appearance. However, it wasn’t the typical aspects one would suggest. It was her smile, which expanded to looking at her face, acting as a window to her loving and kind personality. Of course I’m attracted to other physical aspects of her as well as her personality, but through her smile I was able to immediately tell what kind of girl she is and I was sold. 3471
4. The physical characteristics that attract me to a female would be their breasts, butt, waist, face, and eyes. As far as personality goes humor and self confidence and being low key are very important. I would say the most important factor would be, prior to meeting physical attributes, after meeting demeanor and mannerism around me. (6163)

4. Physical appearance first. Honest self-confidence second. Reciprocity of interest third. Personality fourth. Though this is ultimately the most important factor. (7858)


For me, it was my girlfriend from high school that elicited the strongest feelings from me. It was a love at first sight kind of scenario, so I guess it must have been physical appearance. In particular, her eyes were beautiful in shape, sort of like large almonds. As I got to know her, my favorite things became her incredible selflessness, kindness, and cheery demeanor. She was warm and affectionate, but obviously only after a few years of her rebuffing my advances. (3595)

4.
I have to be attracted to a girl to be interested in her. But she doesn’t have to be beautiful or gorgeous, just interesting. I know plenty of good looking girls who I’m repulsed by their behavior, beliefs, and lifestyles. I would take a cute girl with a great personality over an extremely attractive woman with a shitty personality. So on top of her physical attractiveness she has to be confident, intelligent, easy going, and have similar goals and ideals. (4073)

4. I’ll admit that I notice girls’ physical appearances when I meet them. However it takes much more than a girl’s looks for me to actually like her. I’m attracted to girls who are sweet, caring, compassionate and honest. I like girls who are all around good people and who treat others, be they male or female, with respect and dignity. Though I notice girls’ appearances, I’m by no means a shallow guy. Two things that typically catch my attention more than looks are eye contact and a genuine smile. (7737)


Aside from physical aspects (either the same height as me or slightly shorter, good physical conditioning), I am attracted to women who are independent and know exactly what it is they want. (0383)


Although it may sound shallow, I feel that physical appearance is what draws one person to another in the first place, regardless of sex. Behind physical appearance, a strong personality needs to be present. I have met women who are gorgeous but have a terrible personality. The initial sight of them is intriguing but nothing will last very long without a solid personality. (5343)

There are many characteristics that make me physically attracted to the opposite sex. I enjoy a women who is psychically attract (cute face, nice body) but it is important to me that she isn’t overconfident about her looks. I am attracted to a women who is confident about herself and who she is. I am also attracted to a women who is flirty and directs her attention towards me only. I find it attractive when women feel comfortable to let their guard down around me and act themselves. When a girl feels comfortable to act weird and silly around me is one of the most important factors that attract me to women. I also enjoy a women who is adventurous, serious when necessary, funny, family oriented, caring and genuine. (3800)

4. The last time I was attracted to a female definitely started with their physical appearance. Another thing that I made me attracted to the girl was her happy personality. I also was attracted to their friendliness. There have been times I was attracted to a girl but their bitchiness turned me away immediately. (3617)


4) When it comes to women, obviously physical beauty is one of the factors that attract most men, as well as me, but it is only a stepping stone. Factoring beauty with personality traits (ex. Independent and outgoing) as well as mental uniqueness (ex. Intelligence and problem solving skills) is what I am usually attracted to. (2412)


4. Physical appearance definitely was the first thing that drew me in. After that, it would have to be friendly gestures and the personality of the female that would keep me interested. Contrary to what girls think, guys actually cherish personality a lot more than just physical appearance. (3637)

4. I will admit, I always notice looks first. I typically am attracted to big eyes and long straight hair first. Also I find myself attracted to shorter girls. I typically put the limit at average body types when it comes to attraction. Then after speaking with girls I enjoy banter. If a girl thinks I'm funny that's a huge plus because I don't typically see myself as funny. I really like it when a girl talks about herself so I know she's open to talk and at the very least comfortable with me, but then I think it's really awesome when she asks about me and seems interested in what I say. I also find it attractive if a girl seems like she wants to spend time with me on subsequent meetings (1151).

Appearances are always the first thing that attracts me to someone. I find a lot of different kinds of woman attractive but I definitely have a type. I usually go for brown hair, brown eyes, curves, and a look that seems creative. After appearances I like people who have goals, are passionate about something, will appreciate my love of music and art, and who will enjoy going to things like little concerts, and like exploring the world. Although I have usually go for nice girls, I have to admit one who isn’t can be very hot. 5215



4. In one particular instance where I was attracted to a member of the opposite sex, what I most found appealing was her physical beauty, more specifically were here eyes. As I soon got to know her and spend more time her, I realized it wasn’t her physical beauty that I was attracted to her but her kind heart and her spontaneous personality. While social status, friendly gestures, and physical appearance are all factors that a male might consider, for this particular female it was her personality. (4998)


What attracted me to that girl was that she was very comfortable with herself and she was really funny. I love a great sense of humor and when people feel like they can be themselves. She was also my “type” physically in that she was short, blonde and had the appropriate.. curves. The most important factor was that she showed interest in me soon after we met which made me become more interested in her. (0150)

4 When talking about appearance, I feel like it is almost impossible to mention the nature of physical attraction. Whomever I have been interested in, always has the origins tied to outward appearance. Physical attraction coupled with kind and nice gestures brings me in and interests me. However, from there it all has to do with their attitude and personality. The attraction at this stage of ‘courting’ is the same as if I was getting to know a friend for the first time. Are you interesting and engaging, does the person have goals of their own, aspirations, things that they feel strongly about, ect. If this is lacing, the physical attraction slowly fades.



#5. In your opinion, what are the strengths and weaknesses of the opposite sex?

I think some strengths of the opposite sex are most commonly associated with emotional intelligence. Women are very smart, but they are also extremely insightful when it comes toward their understanding of how their peers are feeling. They also possess a keen ability to empathize with the situations and problems of others while expertly communicating their own feelings. Weaknesses that I see in women are mostly related to a lack of commitment or a lack of confidence. Women are very hard on themselves, particularly in my opinion related to their body image. At times women find it difficult to change their situations given their inability to commit to an alternative.
A strength of the female sex is that they tend to wear their heart on their sleeves. Women have a nurturing way about them, a maternal instinct that cares deeply for those surrounding them closest. They are also very determined people. They fight for any cause they can, from getting a sale to getting a job. Women have this drive that pushes them forward in any path they choose. A weakness of a female is that they are very emotional. Sometimes this is a good thing like when they get happy they truly get excited about it, but many times a rude comment or an odd look can make a girl suddenly insecure and extremely upset. Females also are impulsive. Some time it’s with shopping other times it’s with situations. They are quick to judge and assume that they are right without any hesitation. 6867

Some of the strengths women have include being nurturing, supportive, empathic, and being attentive to detail. Some weaknesses of women include being overly emotional, having a hard time knowing and expressing what they want, and being too demanding. 2618

5. Females are for one, very caring. They are excellent at taking others' problems and internalizing them as their own to assist in helping to find solutions. Also, they tend to be much more organized than men. I rely on the women in my life to keep me on track with my appointments and cleaning of my room. Finally, women are very generous and will express their generosity even when it is not neccesary.
For weaknesses, women tend to think emotionally, rather than logically. Also, while they are very detail-oriented it can sometimes bog them down with seemingly useless facts or analysis of situations. Also, constructive criticism can easily be interpreted as a personal attack to them. (0645)

5. One of the greatest strengths that women possess is emotional intelligence. That is, being able to read emotional cues and body language in almost every situation. One of their biggest weakness is questioning themselves. (7858)

5. Females are very good at being nurturing and compassionate, in general. Despite being emotional at times when big emotionally hard times come up they can be very strong and keep their composure well especially in front of others. Weaknesses would be their need to be complimented and reassured of their physical and personal characteristics constantly. Their unstable emotional extremes are also a weakness, they seem to run very hot and cold. (6163)

I think the biggest strength and weakness of women are their emotionality. It’s a strength because their levels of empathy and abilities to connect with those they communicate with. It is also a weakness because it can cloud their judgment and rationality in particular situations, especially if they are heavily invested in something or someone. It can also lead to a loss in impartiality in deciding particular things.

Women have tremendous capacity to love and care for others, and to put their own needs aside. This requires a lot of emotional depth and range, which in turn makes it easier to upset them and when you do, it seems even more painful. Women also tend to be way too self-conscious, particularly when it comes to body image. (3595)

5.
Their strengths are their ability to be empathetic, give an alternative perspective, and ability to communicate once in a relationship. Their weaknesses are their constant need for validation of their qualities and over analyzing of things. I would say they can be a bit too emotional. (4073)


5. I think women’s strengths are their ability to caring, understanding, and compassionate. Women are generally more in touch with their emotions and are better at reading other people’s emotions. Since they are good at recognizing the emotions of others, women are extremely good at empathizing with other people. I think women’s weakness is their ability to let their emotions get the best of them. When a woman is hurt, whether she is angry, sad, or any other mood, she tends to act impulsively and irrationally.

(7737)
I like tall, toned but not buff, blonde guys who have tattoos and sort of hot babyish face. I like retired bad boys around the age of 26. I like them to be quiet around a lot of people but outgoing and funny around friends. I like them to be confident but definitely not cocky. And I don’t like them to hit on me. I like to pick them out and initiate the conversation. The most important factor is their psychical appearance, especially being tall and blonde. But what also matter is the energy they give off – something sort of unexplainable. Maybe I’m chasing after my ex-boyfriend because that pretty much sums him up. (1109)
Damn! That sounds like prince charming from a fairytale. Out of those traits described, please pick 2 and you will have your average male. The “perfect” man described in this comment doesn’t exist. (3637)

5) The greatest strength that women have is their emotional intelligence. This emotional intelligence is also part of their weaknesses. Women tend to incorporate a great deal of empathy in their everyday lives, which can be beneficial when trying to connect with a person, but can also be detrimental when emotions are used instead of logic. (2412)

I think women best at empathizing and diplomatically resolving conflicts (seek to please as many of the involved parties as possible). Women are poor at being clear with what they want. (0383)


Women tend to be more nurturing, caring, and emotional. Everyone goes through emotional hardships in life, and I feel that women are the best to go to in those types of situations. At the same time, I feel that women bring too much emotion into life events which seems to bring more harm than good. Men are a different kind of care taker in that they seem to provide for the opposite sex. Men are also seen as protectors which is a positive attribute. At the same time, men are bad communicators and tend to be more promiscuous. (5343)


I think that a strength of the opposite sex is how organized and clean they are. Another strength is their ability to care and take care of others. I think that being insecure and attention hungry are weaknesses of the opposite sex. Another weakness of women are how controlling they are. They have an inability to see others perspectives on issues and always desire things to be done exactly how they want it. (3800)


In my opinion, the strengths of women is their ability to work hard. I have noticed that women usually work harder than men do, especially when it comes to academics. The extent they go to in their simple homework tasks is unbelievable. They are also very organized which is a big strength. However, their tendency to hold grudges is a big weakness. Men may be mad at each other one night, have a fight about it, then continue on to be friends the next day. But, women will not overtly fight about a problem, they will spread rumors and gossip for weeks or months. (3617)

I believe a strength I see in females would be the emotional expressivity that they have. Another would be their nurturing nature. Weaknesses would be how they tend to beat around the bush on topics and how they are able to act fake in situations they do not want to deal with. (3637)

5. I think the biggest strength and weakness of women is that they are in tune with their emotions. For one I think it is admirable that they are able to do it so easily. It makes developing relationships with people ten times easier and no one can beat a woman when it comes to understanding others' problems even without asking them. I think men really need to understand sympathy and empathy much better, and that stuff comes naturally to women in general. However, I think it becomes really dangerous when you let emotions influence your decision making. Emotions usually lead to impulsive decision making without having all the facts. To vaguely cover a current situation I'm in: "Yeah you're angry I get that, and in all reality you have the right to be and should be angry, but there is absolutely no rational reason why your anger should also include me. Just because I'm related to the problem doesn't mean I am the cause of the problem, and thus you can justify not talking to me. If you just calmed down for a second and considered everything in account here you could see that your anger is displaced." (1151)


Women are very open and are good at meeting new people, they are very pretty, and usually more caring than men. Unfortunately, they also can be pretentious, materialistic, insecure, often lack a strong sense of self worth, and are more likely to do something just because others are doing it. 5215


5. The opposite sex possesses many strengths and weaknesses just as the members of my sex do. I feel that the opposite sex are more in tune with their emotions, more expressive, and much more open when it comes to relationships. However while they posses these strengths they also have weaknesses. They can sometimes be confusing, over analytical, and not know what they exactly want. (4998)


5. It was almost always someone who could put me in my place. Maybe it’s because I grew up surrounded by strong women, but I gravitate towards women who can hold their own. (6438)




Strengths: compassionate, caring, emotionally aware

Weaknesses: Emotionally fragile, “pushy” (0150)


I think that women have high emotional intelligences and can provide care and love unlike men. However, their weakness when emotional extremes cause women to act irrationally. (2908)

5 I think the strengths of the opposite sex lie in the attention to detail, expression of emotion and strength. Females ability to create life gives them an unparalleled experience that men will have. Their attachment with the cycle of life gives them strength and perspective.





#6. Can you think of any instances in which you have personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex? If so, give a brief description of what happened.

When I ended a relationship my ex had a very difficult time accepting that I wanted to move on. She spread rumors about me cheating on her that were entirely false, and many people who didn’t know me all that well ended up believing her. While I understand she was emotional and wanted to lash out at me, going behind my back and spreading lies felt like a very unfair way of going about that.

I once had a female friend use me as a birthday gift for her friend. She invited me to the birthday party and mentioned that she didn’t get an actual present and considered me the birthday present for the night. Once we arrived at the party, she said Happy Birthday and then made sure they knew that I was the birthday present. As a male, she used me unfairly and made sure I knew there were expectations I had to meet. 6867

6. During my summer internship, my girlfriend was convinced that I was constantly flirting with other female interns. One time, I mentioned the accomplishments of one particular intern and foolishly mentioned that I thought they were rather admirable. I had only brought this up because I specifically wanted to share my internship with my girlfriend. However, a few days later, we ended up having a fight about my comment. She accused me of admiring another girl while not admiring her enough. It was useless to explain to her that my intentions in mentioning the other intern, was to commiserate and joke a bit with each other about how unaccomplished we were in our careers. I felt that she was jumping to conclusions and not thinking very logically. (0645)

I was really into a girl sophomore year, she was my neighbor in the next suite. Our suites hung out a lot that year and I would go over her room here and there and just hang out and talk. I knew she could tell that I had feelings for her, and I found out later on that she definitely had feelings as well. However, she had broken up with her boyfriend a while before and a couple weeks before I had asked her to a formal, she had just started talking to him again. When she and I were hanging out a lot, she never once mentioned him. She went with me to the formal and we enjoyed ourselves but I knew that she was talking to him again and he was coming the following weekend to stay with her. I never told her explicitly that I liked her but her and all her friends knew about it, and she successfully led me on for a good portion of that fall semester. 3471

6. For a friends birthday we were having a party and my female friends took it upon themselves to plan it all take care of food and cake and stuff and told me just go get the alcohol. There was no discussion or even asking if I wanted to do something else they just gave me the easy thing they though I wouldn’t mess up despite it being for my closest friend. (6163)

6. I went on a date with a girl a few months back that seemed to be going very well. As the night was coming to a close my date disclosed that she had a boyfriend and that she was not intending on leaving him. I was pretty shocked because she had led me on the entire night and despite having a boyfriend she asked me if I wanted to go out again. 2618


6.
I’ve been dumped for not doing anything wrong. She left for an older guy who was an asshole. After a couple years she apologized and admitted I wasn’t in fault and that she just had an urge to date a different type of guy and that it was a mistake. It seems like girls don’t know what they want until later in life. She was burned out on the asshole guys and wanted to start dating again. (4073)

6. When I was with my ex-girlfriend we would get into arguments and her friends would treat me rudely or ignore me even if they had no idea what the fight was about. (7737)

Not particularly. The closest thing to unfair treatment I’ve received seems to be the general assumption that as a male, I lack the capacity and desire to provide emotional comfort/advice, or a sense of romance. This is usually quickly corrected though. (3595)

6. Honestly, no. (7858)

I can recall this one instance in high school when I was helping some female friends with preparing food for a party, and because I was a male, I was delegated to setting up utensils and platters only because they assumed that I could not cook. (0383)


In one relationship I voiced my discontent with the relationship and it was not heard out in a healthy way. She would not take no for an answer and I was trapped in the relationship in a sense. This was not fair to her or myself. (5343)

Recently I was at a party where a girl walked up to me and said hi to me. I did not remember if I had met her before but she clearly knew my name so I said “hey have we met before?” She proceeded to scream at me and told me I was in one of her classes and that I should know who she was. She started yelling so loudly that many of the people in the room began to stare at her. I apologized and told her that I felt bad. She refused to listen to anything I had to say as she continued to yell at me calling me an asshole and douche bag. She finally walked away, saying she wished she had never met me. (3800)

6) I was at a bar with a few friends and there were a group of girls that seemed to be interested in us. We decided to approach them and it seemed like it was going well until after about 4 drinks, they completely changed their attitude and ultimately left without any sign. Essentially they were just using us to buy them a drink. (2412)

One thing that really annoys me is when girls try and use me to by them a drink when I’m at a bar or a party and then they’ll just leave. It’s fairly easy to spot but they are simply trying to use you as a wallet. (3617)

6. Well, one instance would be that I am expected to drive to my girlfriend’s place every week, but she is reluctant to drive to my place. Note that she lives in Chino Hills which takes me an average of an hour to drive to. When I get there, I am expected to pay for dinner as well as the occasional movie that we attend. She doesn’t have a job at the moment, which can explain that, but she could at least drive to visit me on some weeks. (3637)
The last time I felt I was treated unfairly by a man was when I was shopping for cars. The salesman spoke to me as if I had no knowledge of cars, which was far from true, and even told me that the car I was interested in was too “manly” for me, suggesting instead that I look at one of the more feminine cars. (9031)
This is just something women have to deal with. It’s an issue that has been in American culture for decades. Probably isn’t going away anytime soon. (3637)

6. I was really good friends with a girl and I had developed feelings for her. I knew she was in a relationship, so that was difficult. I knew she wouldn't end the relationship, but at the same time from my end it was so tough being her friend because my feelings were just too strong. So I felt that I had to admit my feelings for her so that we could try to move forward as friends. I admit that I probably should have figured out a more concise or better way of telling her, but I look back and wish she just looked at me and listened while I was speaking to her. Or that she would have been more open to talking about it after I had finished telling her. Or that she approached me about it earlier when she knew I had feelings for her. It just hurt and angry for a really long time and I didn't speak to her for almost a year, even though we had the same friends and we had a few classes together and worked on a couple of group projects together (1151).


I usually feel like woman treat me very fairly. When I was a little younger I used to be upset when a girl did not want to talk to me or froze me out of her life for reasons I did not really understand. Now I don’t think that way, I understand that there are a lot of very creepy and bad guys out there and there is no way of telling one from the other. The world is very dangerous for women and they need to be more careful about who they let in than men do. I know also understand that relationships with people can be complicated and sometimes a friendship can just be bad for you. 5215

6. I can’t really recall a time I was offended by the opposite sex as a result of me being a male. I have had few incidents with my friends, but not necessarily because I was a male. (4998)

6. I am sure I have. I can be a dick sometimes. I highly doubt it was because I was a man. However, at the same time, I try to be sensitive about what being a man means and how I can exert that privilege onto others. I do not remember any unfair treatment because of that, though, so I think I am doing a good job. (6438)


I don’t have a particular instance in mind but when girls use flirting as a tactic to get what they want (whatever that may be), that’s when I feel that I’m treated unfairly. (0150)

  1. 6 In past relationships, there has been a misunderstanding in communication, specifically around emotions and feelings. Past significant others have berated me for my lack of expression and supposed interest. Whereas I believed that I was expressing my thoughts and interested quite well. I think this represents a potential area where females and males have different ideas and ways in which they need to receive and are comfortable with emotion. By no means is any particular gender the sole perpetrator , it just needs refined communication.






#7. Can you think of any instances in which you have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex, simply because of your (or their) gender? If so, give a brief description of what happened

A recurring instance of me being treated very well by the opposite sex occurs when my female friend and I are eating together. She always lets me have more of her meat because she believes that I require more protein than her and should have more of it. Granted, I do return the favor by offering her any vegetables (or whatever else) I might be eating, but it’s still an awesome deal.

7. One of my best friends is a girl and is pretty down to earth. She really helped me out and comforted me after I broke up with my girlfriend. 2618

The Starbucks app on my phone would not load and I was in a rush to get to a sports center to teach. I had smiled at the female barista and went to pull out my debit card. Instead of making me pay she told me not to worry about it and smiled back. 6867


7. I was sitting on a couch at a VIP booth in a night club at Las Vegas. Two girls came up to me and grabbed me off the couch and starting dancing with me. One of them started making out with me because she thought I was a hot guy.
(7753)

7. Whenever I am having a bad day, or seemed stress, my girlfriend is always there to support me. Whether it's a hug or a back massage or just sitting me down and asking me to tell her what's wrong, she is always being the perfect supporter and personal cheerleader for me. While I can find support from male friends, she can give me comfort in a way that no one else can. (0645)
Not even once. (3595)

7. Also, no. (7858)

7. At work once a female co-worker assisted me in unloading the weekly delivery of boxes of paper instead of assuming I would do it just because I was the male. Having someone assume a task is yours simply because of your gender gets old after awhile and it’s a nice change when a woman expects equality but also grants equality. (6163).

In my work office, I am one of four male students and I do get certain privileges. It’s a slight ego boost when they will ask me to help with carrying things or lifting things. Although it seems like a stereotypical thing to ask of a guy and could be seen as unfair, I would be thanked graciously and given free lunch and preference for work hours. Most importantly, because I am one of four guys working there (most of the supervisors are women as well), my opinions and ideas are greatly valued and appreciated. Whether it’s for something work related or about guys or anything in particular, my opinion carries a lot of weight. 3471

7.
I can think of many instances were I’ve been treated nicely by the opposite sex just because of my gender. Its usually for lifting things or fixing things. (4073)

7. Just the other day three of my female friends came up to me and were acting particularly friendly and nice. It turns out they wanted me to help them with their groceries. The funny thing is they didn’t have very many and they weren’t even particularly heavy. (7737)


I remember this one time when I was helping a friend with moving and she kept on commenting how that because I’m a man carrying all the heavy things, I should be fed more for lunch that day. (0383


It was very early in a relationship with a girl I knew in high school. Her uncle is Arty Moreno, the owner of the Los Angeles Angeles of Anaheim. She took me to a baseball game in the owner’s box which was an amazing experience. I feel that she chose me to go instead of one of her girlfriends because a male may enjoy that type of event more than a women. I also feel that a mutual attraction was present which may have motivated her to inviting me. (5343)

Recently a group of girls that I am good friends with were seeking advice about guys. I listened to their problems and gave them the best advice I could on each of their individual situations. They desired a male’s perspective of the situation and thought I gave them good advice. They thanked me for listening to their problems and cooked me dinner. (3800)

7) There are many instances that I can recall that the opposite gender has been nice to me because of my gender. The underlying reason for many of these instances was to get me to lift, replace, or fix something. (2412)

One year I was in Mammoth and got really bad food poisoning and I was staying in a house with 5 girls and 3 guys. All the girls were happy to bring me food or water while I was sick simply because of their caring nature. However, my guy friends that were there could care less whether or not I felt okay, they knew I would be okay the next day, but the girls were very compassionate. (3617)


I cannot recall an instance where I have been treated particularly well by a member of the opposite sex. (3637)

7. Honestly I have never felt that a woman treated me well just because I am a man. Every time I've been treated well by a woman it was for reasons that any well-meaning person would do. However I can say that my closest friend-girls have always been willing to listen to me when I have stuff on my mind and they always give me some awesome insight, and I feel like they understand me (1151).

I can not think of a time that I was treated better by a woman only because I am a guy. I think women treat others in a way because of what their relationship with that person is. Men are much more likely to treat a woman better or worse just because of the others gender. I do not think this is true across all cultures and time periods. I know that in some buddhist temples a woman will not correct a man but will correct a woman. My experience is largely a product of my culture. 5215

7. Although I do not like to take it as my title, among all my friends of the opposite sex, I am the one they may call in the case of an emergency. Whether its deals with someone who may need to be picked up or taken care of. Many times I was the one required to drive people around who had been drinking. While I do not consider it a problem, I do feel like my gender has had an influence. (4998)

7. I surround myself with people who do not discriminate in that sense and try to avoid people who do. If ever I was treated well by the opposite sex because of my sex, it is probably because they needed help with something. For example, it would have been considered rude if a woman spoke up or their opinion would be considered less coming from a woman. (6438)


The foremost instance I can think of is when I walk girls back to their apartments at night they especially appreciate because I’m a male and I guess I present an extra sense of security as to if they were walking back with another girl. (0150)



  1. 1. In many instances dealing with emotions, I have had many important moments with females. Their ability to deduce ones emotional state and more importantly call one out for it. I have been grateful for the directness and personal space they create for me.




#8. Describe an instance, or instances, when you have been rejected by someone of the opposite sex to whom you were attracted. How did they reject you? Was their behavior inconsiderate, rude or insensitive? How did it make you feel? How might they have done it in a more considerate way?

When I was in sixth grade I asked a girl I had a huge crush on out on a date with me to the movies. She said yes, and we planned to go out several days later. Not even two days had gone by before I got a phone call from her good friend saying that she had to cancel on me and that she was very sorry. I felt betrayed and rejected given that the girl I asked to the movies didn’t even have the heart to cancel on her own. It made me feel crappy for about an hour but I quickly got over it. Next time she should call herself but their wont be a next time unfortunately for her. 4497

I have yet to be rejected by a female that I have felt attracted too. 6867


8. In one instance of rejection, my 8th grade girlfriend broke up with me when I called her to plan a date. Although she was not particularly rude, I was rather hurt that she chose to do it when I had called her. However, she did not seem spiteful, but more matter-of-fact about it and a bit apologetic. I suppose in the long-run it was good of her to just be honest, instead of waiting for our date to break the news to me, but at the same time, she could have been more proactive with contacting me about the issue, rather than waiting for me to walk into it. (0645)

The girl I asked out rejected me by telling me that she was flattered and attracted to me, but she was seeing someone at the time. I appreciated her answer being clear and concise, but in addition to being secure with herself, the tone she used was very casual which did not make the situation awkward. 2618


8. I was rejected when I approached a girl in high school to go out sometime and she was really rude about it just blowing me off and acting as though I had wasted her precious time just by asking. It pissed me off and she ended up apologizing later on for how she behaved and explained she had just broken up with her boyfriend and she was with all her friends when I asked but after this I probably went about things the wrong way by telling her it was ok I know why her boyfriend broke up with her and thanked her from saving me my time. She could have done it in a better way by saying she wasn’t ready to start going out with anyone yet but maybe we could hang out at a party sometime or something. (6163)


I was initially rejected by a girl who would later become my girlfriend. She never said or did anything that made her rejection clear, I just heard it through friends of friends. In person, she was always nice to me and seemed to enjoy my company. The result was a few months of limbo, where on one hand she seemed receptive in person, but on the other I was told she was not. The whole thin went on for quite a while, and I became increasingly emotionally drained, affecting my academics, social life, and family relationships. I understand it is hard to be blunt with someone about something that will hurt them, but the alternative is much more painful. I would have rather she told me directly, and allowed me to start the recovery process sooner. (3595)

I had gone on several dates with a woman a while back. Everything seemed to be going well and we were beginning to become physically intimate. After one date, which, once again, seemed to go very well, she didn’t respond to my follow up text. Finally, she texted back saying we should just be friends. I thought it was a little inconsiderate to do that over text and also without any particular explanation. I was mostly confused by it, and would much rather have preferred that that had been said on a more personal level than text. (7858)


8.
There have been times where I’ve been rejected respectfully and there have been times where I’ve been rejected in a rude manner. The respectful way was able to salvage something and have a great friendship. The disrespectful way lead to no friendship at all. The respectful way was just being upfront about not being interested. (4073)

In one of my classes a few years ago, I approached a girl that I was attracted to. After engaging in small talk and getting to know each other, she mentioned to me that she was dating someone at that time. Although I was not too thrilled about it, I do appreciate her “breaking the news” in a gentle manner. (2412)

8. I’ve never been rejected in a particularly rude or insensitive way. The girls I’ve been rejected by were all generally kind about it which hurts in its own way I suppose. There have been times when girls have ignored or avoided me for a while after they rejected me, but I suppose it’s understandable because it’s usually an awkward situation all around. (7737)

The same instance as #6, but when we had gone to thanksgiving break, she said she wanted to talk to me when we got back. We talked and the only thing she kept saying was “Did I do something wrong?” She clearly knew that she led me on for a few months and knew that I was really into her, but she still chose to continue asking me that question throughout our talk. I wanted to tell her she did do something wrong; I cared too much about her to hurt her feelings more than she already was at the moment. It was the truth still but I told her that I wasn’t mad at her or the guy but rather upset at the situation and that it was a sucky situation for me. She didn’t understand that and to this day, she and I have never talked about that again (she is still around the friend group from time to time, and semi recently broke up with the guy). 3471

A few years ago, I asked the sister of one of my friends to hang out to watch a movie or something like that and got rejected, although she was really nice about it. She said that she did not want to go because she did not know me and that she was “busy.” I felt somewhat down because of it, but it did not really affect me that much. She could have been nicer by leaving out the part about her being “busy.” (0383)


During high school there was a girl who I thought was very pretty and I began to have feelings for her. She showed me that she felt the same way. We went on a few dates for some time until I asked her to officially date. We broke up in less than a week and I was very confused. I felt like I was led on and that what we had was just trivial to her. (5343)




After my high school prom, I rented a house with my prom date and all of my friends. My prom date invited her ex-boyfriend to our party, which made me a bit upset but she told me they were just good friends. He showed up and I did my best to be kind to him but he was all over my prom date. I got very upset and went to the backyard to cool off. After hanging out in the backyard for awhile I walked into the house and could not find my prom date. I went outside to the front stoop and I saw my prom date and her ex-boyfriend making out. I had never felt more rejected in my entire life. She rejected me in the worst way possible and clearly still had feelings for her ex. I had liked this girl for almost three years but we had never found a way to make it work. I finally thought things were going well because we had a great time at prom. The way she rejected me was beyond inconsiderate. She lead me on and didn’t communicate with me how she was feeling at all. I realized she had invited her ex-boyfriend to the party because she still had feelings for him and then she made out with him in front of all of my friends. I felt embarrassed, angry, miserable and heartbroken all at once. She could have been much more considerate with the way she choose to end things and reject me. She should of communicated with me how she was feeling with me and what she was looking for. She could of not lead me on during the entire weekend or even have gone to prom with me. She should of told me that she still liked her ex-boyfriend and shouldn’t of spent a weekend with me at a house on the beach with my friends. She rejected me with her actions, not her words, which made it even worse. (3800)

The last time I was rejected by a girl that I was attracted to made me feel annoyed. We were both attracted to each other, she even told me this after we kissed. However, she rejected me because her friend liked me and she did not want to make her friend mad who I had no interest in. I don't think she acted insensitive by any means because she was looking out for her best friend, but it made me very annoyed because she knew I had no interest in her friend. A more considerate way to do it would be to not lead me on at all in the first place. (3617)

In high school, my girlfriend at the time broke up with me, which could be considered a form of rejection. She acted as considerate as she could, but never told me the reason behind why she broke it off. It was puzzling to me, even till this day, what could have happened to make her feel that way. It was rude in the aspect that she never gave me the closure I deserved. (3637)

8. The last time I asked a girl out she politely declined my offer. She gave several reasons why she typically doesn't date guys in her class and at LMU in general (which I thought were fair; I had considered she would say "no" for the exact reasons I had considered), and in the end she said the usual "you're a very nice guy and I'm sure you'd be a great date," but she also added "I admire your confidence though; I don't think I could ever do something like that," so in the end I was let down easy and it didn't hurt a whole lot for too long. (1151).



I have never been rejected in a way that was inconsiderate. One time a girl who I was seeing told me she didn’t want to hang out anymore. It wasn’t a shock, I knew she wasn’t very interested, and I had already accepted that and moved on. Although we were not officially together she felt the need to break up with me and that made me feel much worse than if she had simply let us move apart. Despite this her intentions were good and I do not hold it against her. 5215

8. In an instance where I was rejected by someone I was personally attracted to, I was rejected with apathy. Where most girls would exhibit some kind of reaction (good or bad), I was treated with apathy. There was a lack of reaction to what I had expressed to her. I would’ve rather been faced with a negative, crass reaction than an apathetic creation. If anything, it was the lack of reaction that bothered and irritated me. (4998)


9. The last time I seriously tried or offered to someone of the opposite sex was high school. Since then, the most recent instance was I was really drunk and I think I grabbed a random girl to make out. Then she pushed me away and said she was a lesbian, to which I shrugged and said “cool, sorry.” After that, it was totally chill. As someone who’s dated other them, I know how guys can go from calling you hot to cussing you out in less than a minute. (6438)


I’ve never been rejected by a girl in a rude way but the most common excuse has been that “I just see us as friends” which hurts but it’s not rude necessarily. (0150)


As far as I can remember I’ve never been rejected. (2908)


  1. 1. I have never been rejected.






Imagine that you have known someone of the opposite sex for about a month. You have dated this person several times, but so far there hasn't been any kind of physical intimacy (holding hands, kissing, etc.) between the two of you. Now, you are out on a date with this person again.

How would you try to influence this person in each of the following
circumstances:

#9. Situation 1: The date has been going very well and you feel very physically attracted to this person. How would you influence this person to become physically intimate, and to go as far sexually as you wanted to go?

I am relatively different from most guys in that I really dislike trying to persuade girls to go farther than they might want to. If I wanted to be intimate with her, I would simply find the right moment to kiss her and progress things from there. I hate trying to convince girls to do things they might not feel comfortable with so out of respect I usually let them take the lead until I really know their intentions. 4497

I would try to initiate more physical contact and see if she reciprocated. If I got mixed messages or her signs were too ambiguous I would probably say something to let her know I wanted to be more physically intimate. Either way, the only thing I could do is let her know how I felt, but I respect her decision to either reciprocate or not. 2618

To get this person to become physically intimate I would persuade them that a better location is much suitable and offer my home as an alternative to the restaurant we are currently at. I would let them know that I didn’t quite want to end the date yet and hoped they felt the same. After some playful insisting we would go back to my place and continue the conversation. I would make them feel welcome and relaxed. Comfort is key. Many times the convincing isn’t verbal, but rather through the actions one chooses to make. Starting with a single kiss, then going from their, you make them feel like it is all their idea to keep going but you actually have the control of the situation. 6867

9. I would probably find excuses to have physical contact with the girl, such as putting my arm around her shoulder, or holding her hand, etc. Her responsiveness to this would help me gauge how interested she is physically. Also, I might try to direct the conversation towards a more sexual topic, possibly with light jokes about sex. (0645)
9. Firstly, I don’t think it’s about how far you want to go sexually. It’s about how far she wants to go. Though if I wanted to know what her physical intentions are I would try to make physical contact to see how she responded. Not aggressively. But try to hold her hand for example. If that goes well then at the end of the date I might try to kiss her. Otherwise, I would let it go and realize that she was not intent on a physical relationship. (7858)
9. Go out to dinner then to a movie and get close and make some kind of physical contact during the movie (e.g. hold hands, arm around her, hand on her leg, etc.) Upon leaving the movie theatre walk to the car, open the door for her but before she gets in kiss her and see where the night goes from there. (6163)

I wouldn’t. Even though it is probably expected of me as a guy, I have no idea how to go from a fun time to something more intimate. In a couple of instances alcohol has helped me in doing this, but the results have been regrettable and a departure from my character. (3595)

9.
I would probably try to sit close and then read her body language. I’d start by either putting my arm around here or holding her hand. If she responds positively then I’d contemplate taking it further. I would let her dictate how far she would want it to go. (4073)

9) I do not try to persuade a girl to do something that she doesn’t feel comfortable with, but I will try to “break” the touching barrier in small increments. I usually plan out the best locations as an excuse to approach their personal space, for example: watching a movie. (2412)

9. I would probably just try holding her hand or try sitting closer to her. I would then gauge her response and enthusiasm and go from there. I would definitely let her determine how far the physical intimacy goes. (7737)

I would ask her if she would like to come over my apartment after dinner. I’d show her my place and carry some conversation on the random items and posters in the rooms. In a larger break in the conversation, I’d continue deep and intent eye contact, lean in and kiss her. If things continued from there and she continued to respond well, we would move to the bedroom and continue what we were doing. If she says anything about how far she wants to go, I’d assure her that we’d only go as far as she would like to go (this way, she will feel comfortable and know I respect her, and with that it can lead to her wanting to do more). 3471

I would try to initiate physical contact subtly by simply getting closer, “accidentally” touching her hand, and trying to maintain eye contact, and based on how she responds in terms of body language, keep pressing. If there are visible cues of avoidance such as (crossed arms, leaning away from me, avoiding eye contact, etc.), I would know she is not interested in advancing physically. (0383)


I would just focus on her and try to be funny. I wouldn’t be pressuring or try to be an asshole in anyway, although I hear that that’s sometimes successful. I would try to take it easy and not have any expectations for the evening. Once expectations are brought in, you are setting yourself up for disappointment later in the evening. (5343)

I would first make sure she felt comfortable around me, if she doesn’t feel comfortable and safe then she isn’t going to want to be intimate with me. I would take things slow with her if we began to get intimate to show her that I don’t just care about having sex. I believe that influencing a women to become intimate with me isn’t something that is done verbally, but through my behavior and actions toward her. Making constant eye contact is important and making her feel safe in your arms. Then as we proceeded to go further sexually I would ask her if she is okay and feels comfortable, communicating with a woman is vital.


I would first make sure she felt comfortable around me, if she doesn’t feel comfortable and safe then she isn’t going to want to be intimate with me. I would take things slow with her if we began to get intimate to show her that I don’t just care about having sex. I believe that influencing a women to become intimate with me isn’t something that is done verbally, but through my behavior and actions toward her. Making constant eye contact is important and making her feel safe in your arms. Then as we proceeded to go further sexually I would ask her if she is okay and feels comfortable, communicating with a woman is vital. (3800)

I would be very flirty and begin getting closer to her. I would try and make her comfortable to be around me by making her laugh. I would also observe how she is responding and then play on her emotions. (3617)

I guess I would just be the first to make a move, if the date is going well as it says it is. If she brushes it off or shows signs of reluctance, then I would not pursue any further. But if she still shows that she is playing hard to get or playing around, then I would keep pushing for physical intimacy. It all depends on the feel at the time and whether it is right for the both of us. Physical intimacy is a two-way street. (3637)

9. Well, I think I would try with small gestures of physical affection (i.e. playfully touching her on the shoulder when she says something funny or even holding her hand) just to see how she'd respond. I'd continue to follow lines of conversation or jump around for some laughs. If I got a good vibe I would probably hold her in my arms and maintain a little eye contact and be frank and say "I have the strongest urge to kiss you right now" and laugh it off as if it was something stupid to say. I guess I'd decide whether or not to kiss her depending on her response. Pretty much I'd let her decide what she would be willing to do or not do. But a kiss is as far as I'd probably go if this was the first kiss (unless, of course, she wanted to do a little more). (1151)


If I was on a date with someone who I was trying to become intimate with I would ask her out to do something that lent itself to the situation. For instance I might ask her out for hot chocolate and a tour (guided by me) of somewhere that I find romantic, or ask if she wants to just stay in and watch something on netflix instead of going somewhere. If we do go somewhere I would ask if she wants to come in to see my collection of something or other. If we were not on a date like this I would wait until the end let whatever physical contact we had linger and say something like “I’m trying really hard not to kiss you.” 5215

9. I consider myself to be somewhat conservative when it comes to entering into physical intimacy with the opposite sex. Because of this my approach has somewhat been conservative. Ill drop hints and cues that are obvious, and use my body language to convey what I’m feeling. (4998)

9. I will politely ask them when I feel there should be any physical intimacy why there is one. Whatever their answer is will decide whether the date goes anywhere physically. Respect and consent are cool. (6438)




I would influence this girl by showing that I was attracted to her and then I was interested in pursuing her. By “making moves” if you will, by holding her hand, trying to kiss her, etc. I would ask her if she was comfortable with what we were doing and keep progressing within that comfort zone. (0150)


I would get into a private situation that would be conducive to physical intimacy. Once we were in that situation I would try to read her body language and make a move. (2908)


  1. 1. If ones goal is to engage physically with an individual it is important to read the signs that are presented. Say if you place a hand on their arm, do they in turn reply with another type of physical contact. But above all else, it is important to ask. This becomes part of consent and both individuals need to be incredibly clear on their wishes. And both to receive consent. Ask.






#10. Situation 2: The date has been going well, but you do not feel particularly physically attracted by this person. However, you can tell that this person is really turned on by you. Still, you know you're not interested in physical intimacy, and/or the subsequent involvement or commitment that might follow. How would you influence this person to avoid becoming sexual

I would be aware of how much physical contact I have with her, because I wouldn’t want to lead her on. If she is still persistent then I might just tell her that I would prefer being friends and hope she doesn’t take it personally. 2618

I would probably bring up a girl that I was interested in. This would quickly let the girls know that I wasn’t thinking about her in that way and hopefully would send a very clear message that I didn’t desire any physical intimacy. Either that or they would think I was the least smooth guy on the planet but it works out either way. 4497

To avoid sexual activity with this person, I would simply continue the date touching them as little as possible. By creating a distance right away, the other person can usually guess that there is no future. A simple gesture like a hug and a kiss on the cheek rather than the lips is also very convincing at the end of the date. In order to stay friends, mention breakfast or coffee plans to catch up at a later date. That way there is no worry for sexual activity after coffee. 6867

10. I would be sure to keep my interaction with her kind and interested, but not overly engaging or intimate. In other words, I would do my best not to give her a false green light to be come physical with me. I would keep the conversation away from sex, romance, or intimacy at all costs, and I would avoid any unneccesary physical contact. If contact did occur or she made a move on me, I would find a polite way to excuse myself, or simply be honest with her that I am not physically interested if I cannot get out of the situation with another reason. (0645)
10.
Since the date has been going well, let it pan out. A good time is a good time but at the end of the date politely tell them that you were grateful for the time and company well-spent and then directly and explicitly say that, though it was a fun time, you do not see this going anywhere else past friendship. If they do not respect your statement, no regrets. (6438)


10) In this situation, I would heavily “push” the conversation towards a more friendly and sexually neutral topic, which would allow her to see me more as a friend than a sexual companion. (2412)

I can only think of one or two instances where this happened. But in general, telling her she reminds you of your mom or sister tends to work. A more subtle rout is to pat her on the head a few times: it sort of implies that she has a child-like cuteness and that you have affection for her, just not a strong sexual desire. (3595)

10. Start acting like you were hanging out with an old friend making dumb jokes and treating her like one of the guys. Worse comes to worse bring up problems about another girl and throw out the whole “it’s nice to have a FRIEND to talk to” line. (6163)

10. In this case, I would continue to have a normal friendly conversation. If it came to the point where they were clearly attempting physical advances, I would simply tell them that that was not what I was looking for in the nicest way that I could. (7858)

10.
I would talk about things very blatantly to insure she doesn’t make the move. I would mention maybe someone else I’m seeing even if I’m not seeing anyone. (4073)


  • I would be nice about it and be considerate with the date, but I would try to drop her off at her place without anything intimate happening. If she happened to try something overtly sexual, I would be honest and say that although I enjoyed her company and the dates we had, I don’t think that I’d like to continue dating her. It’s better to be honest with people, even if it is going to hurt them because then they know and they can move forward from there. 3471

10. I would probably tell her that it isn’t going to work out between us or that we should see other people. I would try not to tell her that it’s because I’m not physically attracted to her but if she were to insist on knowing the reason I wouldn’t lie to her. I would just tell her in a kind and sensitive way. (7737)




I would be vocal about my intent to maintain a platonic relationship and say that has nothing really to do with her as a person, but rather that I am not interested in a sexual relationship with her. (0383)


I would be as upfront with the person as possible. Although it may not be the “smoothest” way to deal with the situation, I would voice how I feel about the other person to let them know. It is the fairest way to handle things without lying or beating around the bush. By communicating this way, everyone can leave without being too upset. (5343)

I would not flirt with her whatsoever and if she was flirting with me I would not return it. I would continue to act normal on the date but I wouldn’t act romantically toward her in any way. At the end of the date I wouldn’t lie to her and tell her that tonight was amazing and that I want to see her again. I don’t believe in leading girls on, I would instead be honest. I would tell her that she is an awesome person but I don’t feel a connection between us. If she made a move to kiss me, I would kiss her on the check and continue to tell her that I don’t think its working out between us. (3800)


I have never been a person who beats around the bush. So in this situation, I would simply tell her I did not like her in a sexual manner. I hate when people lead me on so I would not do it to her. (3617)

I don’t believe that this situation would ever exist. Why would someone be going out on a date with someone else whom they are not, at least a little, physically attracted to? What kind of heterosexual male would not like it if the girl they were dating were physically attracted to them? If it is the commitment that scares them, then I would set the record straight and lay my thoughts out on the table whether she likes it or not. (3637)

I'd still act the same as I normally would because I could see that we could have a good friendship. I would scale back on any speech or language that could possibly be construed as interest. If she started acting with more intention, then I would be completely honest with her: I would tell her that I apologize for leading her on if she ever felt like I had done so and at the same time I really don't want to lie to her and hurt her even more down the line if things did get more serious, all because I couldn't be up front about my feelings (I've been in this exact situation before and it became really messy, and I don't ever want to do that to another girl ever again). (1151)


As a man I would find it pretty easy to get out of physical contact. I would just have to hug her and say something like “I had fun” and then just leave. A woman usually wants a man to initiate the situation first, and although that’s really annoying when I’m nervous to kiss her, it comes in handy when I am not interested and don’t want the situation to become awkward. 5215


10. To avoid being sexual, I’d communicate to her and let her know straightforward what exactly I am thinking. Instead of dancing around my words and dropping clues, I’d verbalize what I feel. At least that way I am not misleading and hopefully not giving false interpretations of my actions. (4998)


I would attempt to speed up the date/make it end as quickly as possible and politely avoid any advances she made. If she straight up asked me if I was interested then I would answer honestly and tell her I’m not interested. (0150)

I am a straightforward person and if I did not have any attraction to a person I would make it as obvious as possible while still trying to be friendly. For example, instead of agreeing to go out on a date maybe I would invite them to come hang out with me and my other friends in a totally platonic setting. (2908)
Similar to the question above. You can implore certain body language to signal to them that you are not interested. However, if things do not stop escalating , it is always possible to just tell them.





SENTENCE COMPLETION

For each of the following sentence fragments, complete the sentence, and, if you wish, add a few more sentences to complete your thought. Do not include the sentence stem in your response--only your answer to it.



#11. In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when...

In general, it appears that the opposite sex has a tendency to become extremely jealous when they see other girls with the guy they are pursuing. 4497

other females get ahead of them in their immediate goals. Every female enjoys being the best at what they do and when someone gets in the way of that, particularly a female, there is always a bit of tension that arises. 6867

when I can talk about masturbation with my bros openly (3637)

11. My best friend is a female. 2618

11. …they recognize another woman’s attraction towards someone they like.
(7753)

11. they feel ignored (0645)
11. You talk excessively about other women; especially those whom they think have some sort of an advantage over themselves. (7858)
11. a guy is friends with a girl she doesn’t get along with or has bad history with. (6163)


11. You make friends who are girls. (4073)


…you talk about porn or when what you say you physically like in a girl doesn’t match up with their individual body. (3595)

11) The guy they are attracted to is friends with someone they despise. (2412)

11. Their boyfriend has other friends who are girls. (7737)

  1. 1. You mention anything about exes or anything about (especially complimenting) another girl (3471)

Their boyfriends spend time with other females. (0383


...I talk to another girl that she doesn’t know or spend extended time with someone who isn’t her. This includes close friends and parents. (5343)

I talk to? when I'm touchy and joke around with other girls. (3800)

I flirt with her friends instead of talking to her and giving her all the attention. (3617)

11. I have a plethora of girls that are friends (1151)


I have plans to go out with just my friends. 5215


11. …when they can’t have what they want. It is more common when one of their closer have whatever it is they cant have. (4998)

a member of that same sex starts to become close (even platonically) to a person they are interested in romantically. (0150)


their boyfriends are texting another girl consistently because it implies an emotional connection. (2908)

  1. 1. show interest towards another person [ sexual interest.]





#12. When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex...

When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex seems to expect that it is the guys job most of the time. 4497

goes along with it out of fear of being rejected in the further. Since women love attention they seem to have the sex that the male wants so that future encounters do not become awkward for them. 6867

thinks they need to get drunk in order to express their sexuality (3637)


Waits and expects guys to make the first move. 2618


12. …is either immediately into it or goes with the flow after a little coaxing and persistence.
(7753)
12. can be insanely stubborn about waiting for men to make the first move, or surprisingly aggressive at taking the reins. (0645)


  • Should make hints that she wants to be intimate; there’s this tough situation that all guys go through with initiating sexually (or anything). If we initiate and she doesn’t want to do it, we look like a creep and only want sex; if we don’t, women later complain that he didn’t do anything and they were waiting on him to try something. Women are fairly capable of initiating sexual contact, or at least giving larger hints that she would like to (from which you can interpret and make that first move into sexual actions). 3471

12.gives mixed signs a lot of times and expects a guy to make the right move. (6163)

12. Should feel comfortable. (7858)

…pretty much expects men to take the lead, without consideration of how difficult that can be for us, and what dangers come with it. (3595)

12.
Rarely does it. (4073)

12. Expect guys to make the first move. (7737)

12) Expects the men to initiate it first. (2412)

Should be more assertive. (0383)


...is usually not the first one to fully initiate things. I feel that it is seen as more of a male obligation to initiate sexual encounters. (5343)

usually is hesitant to make the first move. (3800)

Wants the guy to make the first move and show his interest. (3617)

12. Tries to drop subtle hints that more or less are not noticed by us (1151)

should take more initiative. 5215


12. …will show it in their body language, and their tone of voice. (4998)


is incredibly confusing as to when they are and are not interested. (0150)


the opposite sex usually waits for the man to make a move. (2908)

  1. 1. wait for the male to make a move.






#13. The opposite sex seems clueless about...

The opposite sex seems clueless about the NBA. 44976438

The facts of life. Females strive to get things done their way and in many instances it just will not work out. 6867

how guys work, just as how guys are clueless as to how girls work (3637)

13. spotting gay men (0645)

Knowing what they want and communicating that clearly. 2618

…the fact that they are more attractive than they think, and that their value extends beyond their appearance. (3595)

13.When a guy wants to be left alone he really doesn’t want to be around people, he isn’t using code talk like a female. (6163)

13. Very little. (7858)

13.
Being direct with people. (4073)

13. The fact that not all guys are shallow and only interested in sex. (7737)

13) When a man wants to be alone for a period of time. (2412)

Competitions (0383)

...how dumb men are. I feel that women give men too much credit. Men act accordingly with how they feel in a particular situation. Women think that men have elaborate plans for self benefit or to sabotage the opposite sex. (5343)

about what guys truly desire/ how guys think. (3800)


Guy’s motives in life. (3617)

How guys could want more than just sex from a girl (guys like romance and feelings) 3471

13. Communicating clearly with men; just tell us what you want, please (1151).

how the first thing a man my age thinks about when we meet is how hot she is. 5215


13. …Picking up on certain cues. They may overanalyze a simple cue or a simple signal. (4998)


knowing when a male doesn’t feel like talking about how he’s feeling and doesn’t want to be pressed about it. (0150)


masculine hobbies like cars and videogames. (2908)

  1. 1. how men think about things/ the processing to reaching our conclusions

#14. Being romantic is something that the opposite sex...

Being romantic is something that the opposite loves and seeks out more often than not. 4497

exacts at every encounter. Females long for a "romantic" man that will sweep them off their feet yet don't understand that not every male will be the one to do so. When it works, it works. 6867

expects out of men, 24/7, 365 days a year (3637)

14. Is pretty good at. 2618


14. …acts as if it is important.
(7753)

14. was born to do. (0645)
14. Thinks they want more than men want. (7858)

14) Expects out of men. (2412)

14.Emphasizes to much. (6163)


…expects and loves. (3595)

  • Thoroughly enjoy (sometimes to a scary amount) 3471

14.
Loves to do (4073)

14. Demands of men while not necessarily putting in an equal amount of effort. (7737)


Absolutely loves (0383)

(women) love to do if it is passionate and intimate. Not if they are being treated as a means to an end. (5343)

is very good at and something that they take seriously. (3800)

Values more than guys whereas guys don’t usually care about it. (3617)

14. Has unrealistic expectations about. A good number of men have absolutely no idea what is romantic and we drive ourselves crazy over thinking if it will be good enough, and if it's too good we stress how we're going to top ourselves the next time...it's just a headache and we'd frankly rather not deal with it (1151).

appreciates 5215


14. …may sometimes over “romanticize” about or have unrealistic expectations for. (4998)


is expectant of on major holidays and has very high hopes for. (0150)


highly values but usually leaves it up to the man to create romantic situations. (2908)


  1. 1. values more than men





#15. Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship "tests" by...

Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship “tests” by most commonly asking their close friends their opinion of the guy/girl. 4497

seeing if he can read through her passive aggressiveness. By making the guy feel clueless about what is going on, females hope to uncover if the boyfriend truly knows them or not. 6867

quizzing them about important dates they should know (the first day they met, her birthday, the first day official, the first day Facebook official, etc.) (3637)

15. hinting at things they want instead of being clear. 2618

15. …making them choose between them or their friends.
(7753)

15. picking fights, mentioning taboo subjects and watching our reactions, taking us to meet the parents, asking us what we think about children, pretending they are pregnant, leaving a room messy or trash out to see if we'll clean it up... (0645)
…asking questions to which there is no right answer, with the intent of revealing that you think something about her is bad/unattractive. (3595)

15. Expecting to be number one priority over everything even when they really know its not realistic. (6163)

15. Not immediately expressing their true feelings. (7858)

15.
Asking questions and playing games (4073)


asking questions that you have to answer with “yes, but not as pretty as you are.” 5215


15) Hinting at what they want, but again in a very subtle manner. (2412)

  • Asking loaded questions like “Do you think this girl looks pretty?” or “What kinds of flaws do I have?” 3471


15. By not always saying what they mean but expecting their boyfriend to know exactly where they’re coming from and how they feel. (7737)


Seeing how far the partner is willing to go to maintain the relationship. (0383)

...encouraging gender specific situations and tasks. For example, a woman might make a man pay for dinner “x” amount of times before she is ready to take the next step in the relationship. Immature women (high school) may create fake situations to see how the man will react to it and then base her feelings off of how the man takes care of the event. (5343)

having them make hard decisions. (3800)

Seeing how much the guy would do for her. (3617)

15. Expecting us to know exactly how they feel without ever telling us how they actually feel (1151)


15. … asking a series of questions with an ulterior motive, and expecting things without communicating them. (4998)


introducing them to different facets of their life (friends, siblings, parents) and seeing which groups they gel with the most. (0150)


intentionally trying to make them jealous, purposefully ignoring texts or calls, or asking loaded questions. (2908)


  1. 1. Seeing their response to reactions/ different emotions





#16. The opposite sex seems to support equality for the sexes except when it comes to...

The opposite sex seems to support equality of the sexes except when it comes to paying the check. 4497

the maintenance of the house.6867

16. Initiating dates and paying for dinner. 2618

paying the bill, doing labor intensive work, opening doors, etc. (3637)


16. …chivalry such as expecting men to pay for dinner and give them the whole princess treatment.
(7753)

16. asking men out on dates, being treated to food/outings constantly. (0645)
16. Men showing overly vulnerable emotions. (7858)


16.Chivalry. (6163)


…initiation of romantic or sexual relationships. (3595)

  • Paying for first date/paying for a lot of things/holding doors/anything considered chivalrous (it’s as if it is expected of us nowadays instead of a gesture or something we do because we want to do it) 3471

16) Making the first move. (2412)

16.
Paying the bill or making the move. (4073)

16. Making the first move or paying for dinner. (7737)


Being a caretaker. (0383)

...I cannot think of a time when women would not support sexual equality. (5343)

proposing/ asking for a number. (3800)

Paying for stuff. (3617)

free drinks 5215

16. Stereotypical gender roles that don't benefit them (most of the above are examples) (1151)

16. … when men appear chivalrous and do certain actions like opening the door, walking on the outside of the side walk, etc. (4998)

assuming that we don’t know what we’re doing in social situations a majority of the time. (0150)


men being dominant and paying for dates. (2908)

Men being brave.






#17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex...

Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex pulls away from. They appreciate protectiveness but there is a fine line. 4497


17. Seem to vary from female to female. (5768)


could win a gold medal at. Females work for what they have. They work for their men, their jewelry, and their status. For some reason, it is hard to let any of that go. Months later, a female will remember that her friend has her mascara and she should probably get that back. 6867

tries to master. They want a hand in everything us guys do. (3637)

contemplates in secret. 2618

17. …can not over or even fake.
(7753)

17. can get a little too intense about sometimes. (0645)
17. Can't seem to make up their minds about. (7858)

displays often and intensely, but hates when it is displayed towards them. (3595)

17. Shows in relationships. (6163)


17) Wants from men but also criticize them for it. (2412)

  • Does a lot 3471

17.
Sometimes has, depending on the person. (4073)

17. Critizes men about but has no problem with when it comes to themselves. (7737)

has a love hate relationship with 5215

Does almost all the time. (0383)

...uses more so than men do. Possessiveness stems from the reassurance that women need in a relationship. (5343).

loves to have of guys/ takes too seriously. (3800)

displays, especially in serious relationships (3617)

17. I feel only typically display if they have some insecurity about themselves or a relationship (1151)


17. … exhibits very often when they feel like they are threatened by someone else. (4998)

is equal to that of males. (0150)


expects to some extent when in a relationship. (2908)


  1. 1. has when it comes to significant others



#18. When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite sex...

When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite sex cannot get enough of those abs and biceps. 4497


18. Are just as judgemental towards males as males are to females. (5768)


makes sure they are pretty enough for society at any time. Females won't leave their room unless their sloppy bun is perfectly sloppy (for any selfies that might be taken). 6867

wants the D. (3637)

18. ...puts too much emphasis on make up, which often makes them look like clowns. 2618

is much more attractive 5215

18. is objectively way more asthetically pleasing to the eye than men are. (0645)

18. Thinks can't be achieved naturally. (7858)

18. Holds it important for themselves to look good but when a guy wants a girl to look good she thinks he’s being shallow (6163)

…bases their sense of self-worth on cup-size and waistline. (3595)

18. Superior (4073)

18) Is the very definition. (2412)

18. Is just as shallow as men are but doesn’t seem to get as much shit for it. (7737)

Is as shallow, if not more at times, than men 3471

Definitely looks better than males. (0383)

does not hold it as highly as men do. Women seem to look more for character and personality while men seem to weigh attractiveness more than women do. (5343)

are more insecure about this. (3800)

does not value it as high up as guy’s do when looking for attraction. (3617)

18. Is way more attractive than males and should realize that they don't need to put on any make up (1151)


18. …initially plays a big role when entering a relationship. It is a big factor but isn’t the only one. (4998)

is exceptionally more attractive on average than males. (0150)


, the opposite sex pretends it’s not as big of a deal for them as it is to men, even though it is. (2908)


...Is a big importance for them.





#19. Money and status is are things that the opposite sex...


19. May be assumed to only care about but I feel this is a minor portion of females. (5768)


Money and status are things that the opposite sex is easily persuaded by and in some cases even attracted to. 4497

has great care for. Money means clothiers and clothes means status. 6867

look for. They don’t like the men, they like the men’s status and financial background (3637)

19. react differently to. Some women are validated by their ability to buy things and influence others. Some are extremely down-to-earth. (0645)
19. Think they want, but honestly don't care that much about. (7858)

19. Want pretty badly, even if they deny it. 2618

…cares about instinctively. (3595)

19.Want in their future. (6163)

like because it shows you can provide for her and your family. 5215

19) Wants in from men, but try not to show it. (2412)

19. Are attracted to (4073)

19. Holds as a priority whether they admit it or not. They may be able to overlook these things in the short run but when it comes to long term, serious relationships a lack of either one of the two can be a deal breaker. (7737)

Will deny but secretly pay close attention to 3471

Value in a mate. (0383)

...takes into consideration more so than men do. Since men have been more successful than women throughout history in society, evolutionarily, women tend to weight these aspects more importantly than men would. (5343)


look for in a man and expect to be taken care of. (3800)

look for in a serious relationship (3617)

19. Seriously consider when it comes to marriage (1151).


19. … enjoys. However this is true for both males and females. Although , id say money and status mean nothing except the power they give us. (4998)


cares very deeply about and will make their dating/marriage decisions based off these qualities. (0150)


looks for in partners because it makes them feel secure. (2908)

.... think about and desire to a degree. Money specifically is just an important aspect of life.





#20. It hurts me most when the opposite sex...


20. Use their looks to mooch of males for stuff. (5768)


It hurts me when the opposite sex kicks me in the balls. 4497

generalized males into one single category of assholes. 6867

is on their period. They enjoy hurting me, physically (3637)

shows insecurities (9701)

20. Automatically assumes that I just want to have sex with them when in reality I just want to get to know them and make a Deep connection. 2618

20. Is insecure about themselves (7858)

20. …acts towards me in a negative way because of prior experiences with guys that treated them poorly or because of untrue assumptions that they have about me.
(7753)

20) Assumes that I am just like every other guy without even knowing me. (2412)

20. Is hypocritical about what they think about me. (0645)
…assumes I’m a “typical guy,” and can’t care or be as emotionally intelligent as they are. (3595)

20.Doesn’t trust me to be honest.


  • Leads on a guy into thinking she’s interested but slaps him into the friendzone 3471

20.
Disrespect themselves by being promiscuous. (4073)

20. Ignore me or treat me like a douche bag when they don’t even know me. (7737)

Questions my independence and ability to be self-sufficient. (0383)

...blames me for things I did not do or did not mean to do. Men mess up a lot especially when it isn’t our intention to do so. It’s not good but understanding is always welcome. (5343)

rejects me, thinks all I care about is hooking up. (3800)

Accuses me of not listening. (3617)

21. Act dismissively when I'm actually just trying to strike up a friendly conversation, so I end up feeling like a weird idiot who has no business talking with them (1151).

talk to new guys and don't realize that they are probably thinking about sex. 5215

20. …is indifferent towards me. Especially when I have feelings towards this individual. (4998)


cries or flirts to get their way in situations. (0150)


acts two-faced and gossips behind your back. (2908)

..disregards my feelings and emotions because I am a guy.




#21. I feel best about the opposite sex when...


21. Are down to earth and understand the world doesn't revolve around them. Also a girl who accepts that they aren't a princess and I'm not prince charming who is going to slay a dragon and come rescue you so we can fall in love and live happier ever after. (5768)


I feel best about the opposite sex when they are themselves and don’t try to put on a fake persona. 449

they feel comfortable to not hide behind any insecurity. 6867

They are happy, secure, and authentic. 2618

I am having sex with them(3637)

21. …I find out that they are really into me or that our attraction is mutual.
(7753)

21. They use their charm and talent for care and consideration. (0645)

…they respect themselves and demand the same from others. (3595)

21. S

  • he shows genuine interest in me (prolonged, intimate eye contact); also even with platonic female friends, showing genuine interest and attention to what I’m saying 3471

21. They go out of their way to support something that I am taking part in. (6163)

21. They are completely honest, both with themselves and with others. (7858)
21.
Do things that I cannot.

(4073)

21. Are truly open and honest and allow me to be the same. (7737)

21) We get to know each other openly and honestly. (2412)

They comfort me emotionally. (0383)

...we share similar ideas and feelings about things. Physical attraction is one thing but to share a deeper connection with a women is something to be coveted. (5343)

they compliment me and care about me. (3800)

They are not overtly insecure. (3617)

21. We talk and the conversations seems to be going nowhere, but at the same time we're enjoying ourselves, so it doesn't matter (1151).

gets all nervous and fidgety 5215
21. …when I receive attention from them, only when I’m interested in the girl. (4998)


we’re in a mutually deep, exclusive relationship. (0150)


I feel best about the opposite sex when I’m in a good relationship. (2908)

  1. 1. when I get to engage them in conversation and learn about who they are as individuals.