Women Reactions

to men's comments about the opposite sex.






Instructions:


To get an idea of what you will be doing for this assignment, scroll down
past the instrucctions to see what comments other students have
already inserted on this page.

You may wish to print these instructions (or keep them open in another window).

First, copy and paste the following questions to your word processing software (e.g., Word for Windows):

Which of the written comments made by the males:

1. ...was written so well or eloquently, or addressed such a personal issue,
that it evoked a sincere sense empathy in you?

2. ...disturbed and/or upset you, and why?

3. ...honestly revealed something about male perceptions, feelings or
thoughts that you suspect that they generally might be very
reluctant to admit to if their comments were not anonymous?

4. ...seemed to be a particularly good example of one of the robust gender
differences predicted by evolutionary psychology?

5. ...you found to be, in general, surprising and/or particularly interesting?

6. ...revealed something about how males may feel a sense of powerlessness
in comparison to women, or how they may feel manipulated by women?

7. ...revealed something about how males may feel a sense of power
over women, or in comparison to women?



Now, open a window on your web browser, and go to the men's comments page:

http://drmillslmu.wikispaces.com/Homework 1men

Read the comments about the opposite sex written by the males
in this class.

Find at least 3 comments made by the males (each under a different
question heading from questions above) that you would like to
comment on -- e.g., that you found particularly interesting, revealing,
upsetting, unusual, etc.

Copy the comment that you found of interest to the clipboard.

Go to your word processing software, and paste the comment under the question
heading to which you are responding. Put the passage you pasted in quotes.

Then, insert a blank line, and then write your reaction. When you are
done, put your reaction in italics. Then insert the last 4 digits of your student ID in parentheses.

For example:


4. Which of the comments by the males seemed to be a particularly good
example of one of the robust gender differences predicted by evolutionary psychology?

"In general, I like the physical appearance of females. Without stating
the obvious features that males find eye-catching, I also find females’ faces very attractive."
This seems like manifestation of a human male adaptation to assess female
fertility, which they can do visually (and very quickly). (4673)



When you have finished answering at least 3 questions, save your "reactions to
male comments" file to your computer.

Then go to: http://drmillslmu.wikispaces.com/Reactions-to-men

Log in to Wikispaces (top right on this page -- click on "Guest" for the login link to appear) and click the Edit button on this page, also above.

Copy and paste each of your responses from your word processor to this page,
each under the appropriate question heading, below.

IMPORTANT: You are pasting only to this page (below), NOT to the page that has the men's comments.

You may lose your italic formatting when you paste your text below. If so, highlight
your responses to the comments, and click on the I icon (italics) to italicize
your comments again.

After you have pasted in your answers below, each under the appropriate
heading, remember to click "Save" at the top of this page (you will lose your work otherwise!).

Try to do this relatively quickly in case someone else is waiting to edit this page too.

After you have saved your work here, go back to your word processor.

Add your name to your paper (or, if you wish, the last 4 digits
of your student ID) at the top of your paper so you will get credit. Save your paper
again to your computer.

Make a printout your paper, and to bring to class on the due date.
You will turn in your printed responses in class to get credit for this exercise (5 points).

We will discuss your reactions in small groups during class session that the paper is due.


END OF INSTRUCTIONS




WOMEN'S REACTIONS TO MEN'S COMMENTS

FALL 2017 (and previous classes)


Copy the student comment that you selected, and your reaction to it (in italics), under the appropriate question heading below. Please put your comment at the





1. ...was written so well or eloquently, or addressed such a personal issue,
that it evoked a sincere sense empathy in you?


3.It is constantly misunderstood how damaging it is to be a boy growing up in our culture. Sure in a man’s world we have it made but the pressure of our culture of reclusion to be a “man” is, from a psychological perspective, one of the single worst steps a human can take for mental health. Women clearly have the short end of the stick in the outer society but their culture of interpersonal connection is a huge defense network considering men are discouraged from investing in people emotionally. Historically women have filled the positive role as family care and the negative role as disposable objects of sex. Men filled the positive role as providers and the negative role as disposable objects of war. Sexism is at play on both sides of the field generally as a tool to separate the rich from the poor not to separate the men from the women. I’m not arguing which side is more of a struggle but I do believe that the male culture of independence is too much for a young boy to shoulder and yet we are forever expected to be the solid rock, the stability, to be unbroken when really we just hide our cracks. That being said, Kintsugi is the most beautiful artwork on the planet. (6275)


“Women are really good at complex social thought and getting to the root causes of issues or motivations of others which is valuable. I feel women are weak in caring far too deeply about what others think of them. This can lead to a number of self-esteem and mental health or even body issues.”

This comment shows an understanding in how much women overthink about the way people perceive them. I can be caught up in this at times, it it was cool to see that this male understands how big of an issue it is for women and how it can lead to other issues. (8804)



This response really captured me and caught me off guard. I had never thought about being a male this way and that they actually might have to face difficulties. While I knew that men struggled to show emotions, however I never really considered the social pressures that society has created that keep men from truly being able to express oneself. I cannot image the struggle of having to grow up knowing you can only show a piece (or even less) of your emotions. However, many women have started to feel as though they are unable to show emotions because society will make them out to be either crazy, unstable, or hormonal. Women who are fighting the patriarchy to hold high positions of power must watch their every move. Not only do we have to fight to have these positions but once in the position we are constantly teetering between being the bItchy bossy hag and being the unstable, emotional, period-driven lunatic. (2101)

1. ...was written so well or eloquently, or addressed such a personal issue, that it evoked a sincere sense empathy in you?
The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to suppress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent. I believe women are looking for certain benchmarks of emotion, such as sharing all our problems or insecurities with them, and asking how their day went. When these certain criteria are not met, they mistakenly assume that emotions are simply not the male forte. Guys care, and think about emotions a lot. We just do not always need to express them.”
This statement was well written and provided insight to the social construct that is masculinity. It seems that most males struggle balancing society’s expectations of strong men who don’t feel emotion with women/partners who seek commitment through emotional expression. Additionally, I sympathize with men who wish to show their partners the emotional support that is sought, but simply don’t have the capacity because of the difference is biological make up of the brain. As Brizendine displayed, men are more likely to solve problems through logistical reasoning than they are to be sympathetic to and show emotional support for problems of their partners. Where as men wish to fix the problem, women just wish for emotional support and sympathy. The difference is seen because men and women have different brains with different hormonal influence. It seems that men are both fighting their biology and society when they are asked to connect to their own emotion. (0082)


2. ...disturbed and/or upset you, and why?
"I like that they pay attention to their looks and are therefore pleasing to look at. This makes it fun for me to talk to/interact with them and conveys the message that they want males to feel attracted/drawn to them, since they pay attention to their looks mainly for males (at least that is what I think the main reason behind that is), and as most people, male or female, would agree, feeling wanted is a great feeling. I also like that females tend to seem like they enjoy being unassertive when it comes to their interactions with males (and this is most probably a product of society and how females and males are raised). I dislike that females tend to be more dramatic compared to males in the sense that a behavior or a pattern of behavior that might not even occur to a male to be offensive or disrespectful in any way can be seen (or not truly perceived that way but held) by a female as extremely offensive or disrespectful. This often times lead to the female accusing the male of being “emotionally inept”, insensitive, or deficiencies of that nature, whereas the male might view the bigger part of the problem to lie with the female and her extreme (seemingly to the male) emotional sensitivity (I think there definitely is a biological component to such differences in emotional intensities). I also do not like that females gossip (publicly or privately) more than males do. It turns into belittling others for their own pleasure and is an example “schadenfreude”."
This is comment is something that I do not believe to be true and it is upsetting because this was their answer for what they liked about females. I would hope that males would appreciate something like our personality characteristics instead. We do not wakw up everyday to get ready and look presentable just for guys to notice us or call us pretty. (7497)

I like that they pay attention to their looks and are therefore pleasing to look at. This makes it fun for me to talk to/interact with them and conveys the message that they want males to feel attracted/drawn to them, since they pay attention to their looks mainly for males (at least that is what I think the main reason behind that is), and as most people, male or female, would agree, feeling wanted is a great feeling. I also like that females tend to seem like they enjoy being unassertive when it comes to their interactions with males (and this is most probably a product of society and how females and males are raised). I dislike that females tend to be more dramatic compared to males in the sense that a behavior or a pattern of behavior that might not even occur to a male to be offensive or disrespectful in any way can be seen (or not truly perceived that way but held) by a female as extremely offensive or disrespectful. This often times lead to the female accusing the male of being “emotionally inept”, insensitive, or deficiencies of that nature, whereas the male might view the bigger part of the problem to lie with the female and her extreme (seemingly to the male) emotional sensitivity (I think there definitely is a biological component to such differences in emotional intensities). I also do not like that females gossip (publicly or privately) more than males do. It turns into belittling others for their own pleasure and is an example “schadenfreude”.
This statement really irritated me because it implies that women wake up and get ready every morning just to look good for men and to impress them, which is not the case. While I do agree it is nice to feel wanted, I believe it is degrading and derogatory to assume that women (and not men) base their entire appearance off what the men around them think of them. (5649)


4. ...seemed to be a particularly good example of one of the robust gender
differences predicted by evolutionary psychology?


#2. I like how open to talking they tend to be. My most emotionally deep conversations are often with my friends who are girls. They are more open to really discussing how they feel and tend to be more empathetic than guys are. I do not like that, in my experience, they will not be as straight forward as my guy friends. There are times when being direct and not beating around the bush are preferred and I have not gotten that as much with the women in my life. Also, I have noticed significantly more willingness by my girl friends to engage in gossip and putting down other people in a very manipulative and sneaky way. (8674)

In class we discussed that men would look towards women for emotional support rather than their male friends. In a way because women are the ones who will be investing their time and love into their child, ⎯⎯ males have the option of not sticking around and have less investment in the child ⎯⎯ we are designed to be empathetic and caring. It is in our nature to want to listen and help because we will need to do this with our children. (2101)

5. ...you found to be, in general, surprising and/or particularly interesting?

“I like how open to talking they tend to be. My most emotionally deep conversations are often with my friends who are girls. They are more open to really discussing how they feel and tend to be more empathetic than guys are. I do not like that, in my experience, they will not be as straight forward as my guy friends. There are times when being direct and not beating around the bush are preferred and I have not gotten that as much with the women in my life. Also, I have noticed significantly more willingness by my girl friends to engage in gossip and putting down other people in a very manipulative and sneaky way.”
I found this statement very interesting because from my perspective, men seem to really dislike the fact that women tend to lean towards emotionally deep conversations rather than superficial insincere ones. Men like to be more straight forward and do not like to open up about their feelings, unless forced by their girlfriend. (5649)


“There are several things that I like about women, however, the thing that sticks out to me the most is the effort that they put into everything they do. Women tend to put in more effort than men do when it comes to appearances, relationships, and any work or activity that they are participating in. They also have a more nurturing and caring nature than men do which makes it easier and better to go to my friends that are girls when problems arise in my life. I dislike how self-critical they can be and how judgmental they can be towards others. I also dislike how they tend to over analyze every situation and rarely listen to guys when they are trying to help them.”

I found this comment surprising because I never realized myself how much harder women work when compared to men. It was nice to see that a male notices that and appreciates it. (8804)







6. ...revealed something about how males may feel a sense of powerlessness
in comparison to women, or how they may feel manipulated by women?


2. I like that the opposite sex can bear children and propagate the existence of the human race? There are very few things that attribute specifically to a sex or gender. Someone male can easily be a bitch as much as someone female can be a dick. (6438)

While it might be a burden and definitely a struggle to have to carry a child, there is something extremely powerful about the fact that females are able to create a new being. We have the power to end the human race, although we we want our genes to live on and would never do such a thing. I think this creates a sense of domination in a way of women over men. However, the trouble is there is less risk for men to procreate compared to women. (2101)


7. ...revealed something about how males may feel a sense of power
over women, or in comparison to women?

Women are really good at complex social thought and getting to the root causes of issues or motivations of others which is valuable. I feel women are weak in caring far too deeply about what others think of them. This can lead to a number of self-esteem and mental health or even body issues.
Although these things may be true to an extent, the fact that it is being stated by a male implies that we as women are weaker and less confident in our own selves and therefore require gratification, when in fact that is the cause for both men and women alike. In other words, he is stating that although we feel the same insecurities, women are weaker for showing these emotions outwardly. (5649)


2. ...disturbed and/or upset you, and why?

“During my summer internship, my girlfriend was convinced that I was constantly flirting with other female interns. One time, I mentioned the accomplishments of one particular intern and foolishly mentioned that I thought they were rather admirable. I had only brought this up because I specifically wanted to share my internship with my girlfriend. However, a few days later, we ended up having a fight about my comment. She accused me of admiring another girl while not admiring her enough. It was useless to explain to her that my intentions in mentioning the other intern, was to comiserate and joke a bit with each other about how unaccomplished we were in our careers. I felt that she was jumping to conclusions and not thinking very logically. (0645)
This occurrence did not surprise me as I would have reacted the same way as the girlfriend. In fact, most women would react the same way. What upsets me about it is that there truly is no logical reasoning for it. Were the intern’s gender not mentioned, the comment would not have been a relationship issue. We consistently say that women should build each other up and be treated equally in the work place yet this instance goes against this. Girlfriends are very protective and often times act illogically; we are aware but will never change. (4486)



4. ...seemed to be a particularly good example of one of the robust gender

differences predicted by evolutionary psychology?

“Girls most misunderstand that when a guy says “I’m fine” it’s either because he truly is fine or because he doesn’t want to talk about what’s wrong. It honestly has NOTHING to do with you. It doesn’t mean we’re mad at you or that we dislike you or that we don’t want to open up specifically to you. It just means that we don’t want to talk about it. (0150)
I was genuinely shocked to read this because for women it is the exact opposite. “I’m fine” is typically a phrase used when nothing is fine and there is a conversation that needs to be had. Women are much more verbal in relationships which would lead to issues being needed to be discussed and if it is not, there is a problem. Men are not as verbal especially with emotional topics. (4486)



6. ...revealed something about how males may feel a sense of powerlessness

in comparison to women, or how they may feel manipulated by women?

“One situation in particular that always confuses me is when I hear girls say that they like “bad boys.” It has always baffled me that girls want a guy who is either ‘player,’ rude, cocky, disrespectful, and overly aggressive. In many cases when girls end up in relationships with these types of guys, they usually suffer and regret being in the relationship. It also confuses me when girls say, “nice guys finish last,” because I don’t understand why being with a nice guy would be a bad thing. I’m sure there is something alluring about a “bad boy,” but I would think that would only be in a sexual context. When it comes to long-term relationship, I don’t understand why it would be smart to waste your time with a guy who doesn’t seem to treat anybody with decency or respect. (4788)”
It seems to be a commonly accepted concept among women that we want what we cannot have. Men, therefore, would have the power in relationships by acting this way but this is not a logical way of approaching women. It would seem that if a man really were to seek out a relationship that they are then disadvantaged by expressing intent. Essentially, it would seem that men are completely powerless in being desirable to women. (4486)

2. ...disturbed and/or upset you, and why?
2. “.Generally, the qualities of the opposite sex that I like are: organized, emotionally needy, and compassionate. Organization makes up for the messiness of the male. Emotionally needy gives the male a sense of purpose in life because now someone actually wants to share her life and the male can be there for her. I like compassionate because sometimes males cannot provide the same compassion that a female can. Generally, the qualities of the opposite sex that I dislike are: materialistic, mean, and passive. Females tend to be attracted to material objects like extravagant clothes, makeup, jewelry, and luxuries. Mean and passive are kind of opposites because if the female wants to be mean she can passive or aggressive in her methods. I dislike passiveness because life would be so much easier if everyone were
straightforward with intentions, desires, and general communication”

Response: This comment literally makes it sound like women were made in order to clean up the mess that men are. Many women are not so materialistic and this is very generalized. Organization is not my strong suit so this poor guys will still have a mess unfortunately? (1112)

2. ...disturbed and/or upset you, and why?
Money and status are things the opposite sex…“look for. They don’t like the men, they like the men’s status and financial background.”
Although women do look for security in their future partner, it is not the case that women do not care about the man/partner all together. Women are looking to spend their life with someone who shows good qualities such as work ethic, determination, commitment, etc. All of which can be shown by men who earn well in their career. A man who works hard is one who will be rewarded. Women want the man who is dedicated and shows potential, not the lazy mam. As long as women find a man who is ambitious and has aspirations for his future, then money and status are not significant. (0082)

4. ...seemed to be a particularly good example of one of the robust gender
differences predicted by evolutionary psychology?

One thing I like about women is how they are able to show such sympathy toward others. From my experience with the women around me, if something is really bothering me, I often turn to them for advice and find them much more helpful than the men in my life. I feel that women are really able to understand at time how someone in feeling, and can genuinely care for the well being of others. Not that men are able to express this kind of behavior, but I feel that this kind of behavior comes more natural to women.

The whole notion of women being easier to talk to relates to what we discussed about in class about men going to women for emotional support because they can’t really obtain that from their male friends. (9955).

4. ...seemed to be a particularly good example of one of the robust gender differences predicted by evolutionary psychology?
“When it comes to women, obviously physical beauty is one of the factors that attract most men, as well as me, but it is only a stepping stone. Factoring beauty with personality traits (ex. Independent and outgoing) as well as mental uniqueness (ex. Intelligence and problem solving skills) is what I am usually attracted to.”
Evolutionary psychology determines that mates select their partner primarily through physical characteristics because those are the most revealing of genes and health. Male and female animals alike select partners with the best traits in order to pass those traits on to their offspring and continue the lineage. It seems to be more of a stereotype, however, that the first thing men look at is physical attractiveness compared to what women look for. Although women too look at physical features, they are also looking for a committed partner who will help care for and support the children. Most frequently those men who are "good dads" are not the ones with the best features because the best looking men have many partners to select from and are slow to settle. Many comments were similar to the one above. Men look at physical attractiveness first, but their interest is secured when their partner possesses other qualities such as humor, intelligence, and social skills. (0082)

2. ...disturbed and/or upset you, and why?

I have been rejected by the opposite sex before. There was a girl I really liked in high school and I thought she would genuinely talk back to me when I spoke to her but I later came to find out it was all a joke. She could have just been straight with me and said that she was not interested instead of leading me on. It made me feel incredibly used and not worthy of being loved by anybody but it really seemed like she did not care about that. I wish she just would have been honest with me.

This comment made me feel really sad because it must be hard for men to go out of their way and have women play with their feelings. It just seems like this girl was very inconsiderate. (9955)

5. ...you found to be, in general, surprising and/or particularly interesting?
I like how open to talking they tend to be. My most emotionally deep conversations are often with my friends who are girls. They are more open to really discussing how they feel and tend to be more empathetic than guys are. I do not like that, in my experience, they will not be as straight forward as my guy friends. There are times when being direct and not beating around the bush are preferred and I have not gotten that as much with the women in my life. Also, I have noticed significantly more willingness by my girl friends to engage in gossip and putting down other people in a very manipulative and sneaky way.

This is so true in that women are very communicative, but at times we use that communication to trash talk mostly about other women and shame them for being “sluts” or any other bad connotation. (9955)



3. ...honestly revealed something about male perceptions, feelings or
thoughts that you suspect that they generally might be very
reluctant to admit to if their comments were not anonymous?
6. For a friends birthday we were having a party and my female friends took it upon themselves to plan it all take care of food and cake and stuff and told me just go get the alcohol. There was no discussion or even asking if I wanted to do something else they just gave me the easy thing they though I wouldn’t mess up despite it being for my closest friend.

Response: It could have been just as simple as asking them to join into the baking. Most times men do not help in the kitchen or women are just associated with kitchen activities, but heck I hate baking. Maybe you could have gotten alcohol sure, but if you do be straightforward how were they supposed to know what your feelings and hopes were. (1112)


“That we all do not like talking out how we are feeling. I think we have been raised since birth under the impression that we are not supposed to so that causes some of us to be emotionally distant. Just as women are three dimensional, complex human beings, men are as well.”

I find it interesting that guys actually want to have friendships with a girl so that they can talk about their feelings, because as the person said, they grow up under the impression that they should not show their feelings. (8804)



3. ...honestly revealed something about male perceptions, feelings or thoughts that you suspect that they generally might be very reluctant to admit to if their comments were not anonymous?
"Females make extremely good companions and friends. All throughout my life I have gravitated towards females because they tend to be more open-minded and accepting. Some of my first friends from elementary have been girls, and they were the first to include me in their activities without judgment."
I feel like this comment revealed something about this male which he might not be that open to admit around people. I do not think that if a male shared this with his guy friends they would react in a nice way. They might tease him and make fun of him for feeling like females are better friends to have. (7497)




“There are several things that I like about women, however, the thing that sticks out to me the most is the effort that they put into everything they do. Women tend to put in more effort than men do when it comes to appearances, relationships, and any work or activity that they are participating in. They also have a more nurturing and caring nature than men do which makes it easier and better to go to my friends that are girls when problems arise in my life. I dislike how self-critical they can be and how judgmental they can be towards others. I also dislike how they tend to over analyze every situation and rarely listen to guys when they are trying to help them.”
Males tend to be proud of their masculinity, and with that comes the pride they carry for their male traits. For instance, it seems as though males recognize their inability to invest in the problems of others through emotional support. But will provide any help they can through their gift of logistical reasoning. Where as most men would be proud to hold this kind of reasoning skill and not recognize that which they don’t have, this comment reveals that some males perceive and recognize the talents that women have and how they are useful. It is also nice to know that men recognize the work women put into the different aspects of their life, including appearances, relationships, work, ad other activities. Oppositely, it says something about they way women judge and criticize others if so many men are wiling to recognize this mannerism as negative. In other words, it must be a common trait in most women, and one which I haven’t recognized previously. (0082)

1. ...was written so well or eloquently, or addressed such a personal issue,
that it evoked a sincere sense empathy in you?
“ 6. My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis.”

I think in many instances rape is hard to prove on both sides and should not be ignored in any regards. I feel if a man is willing to report rape then it should be serious. Many times men can be dismissed in terms of sexual harassment but it is true that it occurs. Women are also dismissed many times for allegedly have instances of sexual harassment and only recently has it become more serious and dealt with.(1112)




5. ...you found to be, in general, surprising and/or particularly interesting?

One situation in particular that always confuses me is when I hear girls say that they like “bad boys.” It has always baffled me that girls want a guy who is either ‘player,’ rude, cocky, disrespectful, and overly aggressive. In many cases when girls end up in relationships with these types of guys, they usually suffer and regret being in the relationship. It also confuses me when girls say, “nice guys finish last,” because I don’t understand why being with a nice guy would be a bad thing. I’m sure there is something alluring about a “bad boy,” but I would think that would only be in a sexual context. When it comes to long-term relationship, I don’t understand why it would be smart to waste your time with a guy who doesn’t seem to treat anybody with decency or respect. (4788)
Personally, I think girls who like bad boys are not good people. It just seems like they want to just have sex and do not see the person as someone they want to be with the rest of their life. It is interesting because in society, we want to be with someone who wants to be in a committed relationship and create a loving family. It is surprising because some girls like to waste their time in being with someone that Is rude and cocky. (9745)

5. ...you found to be, in general, surprising and/or particularly interesting?

“I am relatively different from most guys in that I really dislike trying to persuade girls to go farther than they might want to. If I wanted to be intimate with her, I would simply find the right moment to kiss her and progress things from there. I hate trying to convince girls to do things they might not feel comfortable with so out of respect I usually let them take the lead until I really know their intentions.”
Many males answered the question of how to progress physical intimacy in a similar fashion, and to say the least it restores my faith in them. Most men understand the physical strength they have is an advantage that can be used against women in order to obtain what they want. In the few cases in which this does happen, it tends to create a stereotype of men’s intention toward women. However, the answers to this question reveals that most men will not take advantage of women, and will in fact only go as far as she is comfortable. It seems to be a difficult line to walk because the typical scenario is one in which the man initiates intimacy, yet he must also be aware of the woman’s comfort. It is interesting to know, from a woman’s perspective, that most men are conscious of this while simultaneously trying to be the one who fulfills expectation through initiation of physical intimacy. (0082)

2. ...disturbed and/or upset you, and why?

My senior year of high school, my friend’s girlfriend got into a huge fight with her friend because their prom dresses were too similar. While I assumed such a minor dilemma wouldn’t really be an issue, it resulted in our 40-person prom group splitting apart because each girl refused to be seen with each other. They each created their own new prom groups and tried to recruit as many couples from the original group as possible. As one could imagine, this created even more drama as now girls who weren't at all involved in this dress dispute were now forced to choose between these competing groups. Throughout all this chaos that ruined friendships, me and the majority of my male friends are looking to one another in awe. None of us really cared for the situation and rather were going to just go with whatever group our dates felt most comfortable with. My guess for all of this would be the vast amounts of estrogen in a female's body during puberty caused for a drastic and emotional thought process.
Yes, this situation does make me a little disturbed because I sometimes do not understand why girls can be very dramatic to start a fight. It does annoy me because it is not a really big issue, but girls tend to make things a big issue so that they have the attention. (9745)


1. ...was written so well or eloquently, or addressed such a personal issue,
that it evoked a sincere sense empathy in you?
I love that women can listen intently, deeply, and give good advice. I love that I can usually feel comforted by some sort of interaction with a woman, especially my mom. I especially enjoy their desire to nurture and support, as I feel like I can be open and real with women. I also appreciate how much effort they put into looking their best. I don’t particularly appreciate how they can be so petty or judgmental towards other women they may be competing with. I can be put off by how manipulative they can be towards others. (9698)
I like how men believe that we as women good give advice because I believe that women are open-minded. Yes, women do show more empathy when it comes to needing help or in other situations. Men seem to be clueless at times and cannot understand how the woman feels until they express it. Also, I understand how women are judgmental towards other women because they want the best for themselves. (9745)

1. ...was written so well or eloquently, or addressed such a personal issue,

that it evoked a sincere sense empathy in you?

My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis. (5768)
I found this response to be extremely disheartening. Men are often overlooked as being victims of abuse and therefore not offered resources to help them cope with such a heinous act. I cannot imagine the emotions he was feeling. It is quite unfair that the school and the authorities did not help him nor did they press charges against this girl. Rape is such a serious issue and we as women often forget that men can be victims as well. (0224).


"1. It seems as though women drop very subtle hints as to whether they consider you a friend or as something more. Most of which are ambiguous and difficult to decipher. I feel as though I must make the move and interpret them correctly as males must be viewed as the aggressor in pursuing a relationship. It’s hard because you don’t want to overstep your boundaries and make things awkward. I think women don’t ever want to be the aggressor and so must send out subtle hints to not appear that way. They also tend to date assholes. (4073)"
In my experience it is often a very intimidating task to ask men out or approach men directly. Because it is a societal expectation for men to make the first move, it is often assumed by many women that men will not appreciate being approached by a woman first. Some women do want to be the aggressor but are held back because they are unsure of whether their boldness will be seen a virtue or a detriment. Perhaps this can explain the more ambiguous behavior you mention. I do however feel for the author of this post as it must be frustrating to feel that you must decipher someone before you can approach them or show interest in them (6012).

“Almost everything. Women can sometimes be more sexist than men but at the same time it makes sense. At the end of the day, male privilege protects me from being too profoundly impacted by female sexism against males.”
I don’t know why this evoked such a response for me. Perhaps because he is acknowledging male privilege (which, in my experience, rarely happens) but he is also commenting on the presence of female sexism which, I believe, is very real and should be discussed more often. (7982)
9.I tend to be very direct in a way that gives women a chance to reject the advance before it happens. If I want to make out with someone I am on a date with then I take them to a nice view of the city and express that this is a great place for a first kiss with a smile. I feel that just going in for the kiss is outdated and forceful on a girl who might not be comfortable with the situation. I certainly don’t ask to kiss them because I still enjoy the rush of being upfront and taking things where I want them to go, but I feel better about giving my date a moment to prepare or reject any first advance I am going make, at least until we know each other better and they are no longer first advances. (6275)”
I really liked this response. I think sometimes men are too forward and don’t look at the signs a girl is giving them in terms of how they feel about physical intimacy. It’s refreshing to hear that he’s waiting for her response and won’t rush anything until she’s also ready for that next step. (8003)

“I went on a date with a girl and at the end of the date, she asked me to drop her off at a place near her house. I was confused by this incident and it had me pondering a lot about the situation. Did she think I was a stalker? Is she self-conscious about her house? I narrowed down the possibilities to those two but I am still not sure to this day. I think it would be a function of her gender because I think females worry about their safety more than men do. I know if I were in that situation, I would definitely ask my date to drop me off at my house. Even if she was a stalker, I am confident I would be able to defend myself. I wouldn’t be too self-conscious about my house because if it somehow affected the way she viewed me, then I would know she isn’t right for me anyway.” (5835)
5. I find this interesting that other females do this too. I can totally relate to this post because I have personally done this multiple times on a first date. If I don’t know the person well I will most likely give the guy an address close to my house. It is not because the guy did something wrong and it has nothing to do with being embarrassed of my house. It is solely for the safety aspect because I don’t know how possessive the guy might become and I need my privacy. Once I develop a sense of trust then I will divulge my address. (5945)

"6. My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis. (5768)"
This evoked a sincere sense of empathy because sexual assault towards men, especially when done by women, is never talked about. It seems that because men are viewed as less emotional, the emotional weight of having to live with sexual assault is forgotten, which is unfortunate considering that the mindset connected with that is very toxic. It does not help that our society does not emphasize that consent goes both ways- both parties need to be consenting in order for it to not be assault. There is also a belief in our society that men can not be assaulted if there was an erection, due to the misconception that an erection automatically means that it is consensual when this could not be farther than the truth. As someone who has a friend who has been assaulted, and has told me about the emotional weight it bares even though those around her believed her, I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to be told that you can be told that the action was consensual over a body function that he could not control. (0974)

6. ...revealed something about how males may feel a sense of powerlessness in comparison to women, or how they may feel manipulated by women?
“I was at a bar with a few friends and there were a group of girls that seemed to be interested in us. We decided to approach them and it seemed like it was going well until after about 4 drinks, they completely changed their attitude and ultimately left without any sign. Essentially they were just using us to buy them a drink.”
When trying to begin a new relationship, men are expected to initiate contact or interest. Because this is the regularity, men will often go out of their way to give or purchase women things in order to show their interest. If the woman receives the gift with gratitude, but later does not give the man a chance to express his true interest, the man can feel taken advantage of. This is no surprise because it seems at times that women use this expectation to their advantage. They fake interest, take the gift, and then leave or break interest. Because of this, men often feel manipulated and think that women are only interested in what the man can offer in terms of material items. If the man does not meet a certain standard, the woman will drop him. Women instantly changing their mind like this, from the perspective of the man that is, can make the man feel powerless. (0082)


“My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report, what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis.” (5768)
2. I find it extremely disturbing that male rape is treated in a lighter matter than female rape. It makes absolutely no sense that the case would be disregarded because of a biological factor. Under no circumstances is that consent! If the person was unable to clearly state that they wanted sex, then it is not consent. (5945)

“6. My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis. (5768)”
This post brought out a sincere feeling of empathy in myself. It made me realize that our society is almost sexist in a way when it comes to the act of rape. The fact that a high school boy was raped by a girl and that law enforcement and school officials almost discouraged taking proper action upsets me. Emotionally, this could have affected this young man just as much as it would affect a female. I believe that we are all equal and if the roles were reversed it would have been taken more seriously. I do not find this fair or just. The fact that this situation was taken so lightly could have lead to traumatic emotional consequences in his future. I think that rape in general should be taken seriously whether it be a man or a woman because both of us are equally as important. (6955)

“To be honest I have been sitting here recalling interactions with women in the past even ones that may have been puzzling at the time and I cannot say any of them still stump me today. Other responses mention irritability, jealousy, insecurity, ect. but those are all emotions I have felt in my life as a man and were all justifiable in context when I would encounter a woman experiencing them. Even though the justifications may have been irrational I know many a time I have justified sans rationality. All I can say is I didn’t see any of those reactions as a result of gender because I could understand them as the reactions of a human placed in a gendered culture. Don’t get me wrong, I believe there are karyotype and phenotype differences in male and female psychology that may lead to different intensities of behaviors, cognitions, motivations, or emotions but I can see those same differences of intensity from male to male as from male to female.”

The guy who wrote this wrote it in a very eloquently manner and had a good point that irritability, jealousy, insecurity, etc. cannot be targeted against for only women—these are things that are also seen in men. I wish more people shared. (9398)


“The first thing that attracted me was the physical appearance. That is what keeps my attention and makes me want to get to know the girl a little more. If there is no physical attraction, then it is easy to quickly move on. Once I start to get to know the girl other factors come into play, such as humor, friendliness, and personality. All these traits ultimately can cause me not to be interested in the girl regardless of the physical attraction, but initially this attraction is the most important.” (3297)
4. I saw most of the males’ answers seemed to have the impulse being lust and then limerence being the response. This comment particularly stood out because of his emphasis of physical attraction being the most important factor. That physical attraction is not only the motivator but ultimately the deciding factor. Therefore, limerence will never be the impulse for him for he will “quickly move on” if he does not find a girl attractive at first sight. The female perspective generally tends to be more open on the aspect of physicality many times developing an attraction to a person after getting to know their personality. (5945)

“The most misunderstood thing about males is that females believe we are emotionally simple. This is far from the truth males just have different emotions provoked by certain things and even when the same emotions are provoked the way of dealing with said emotion is different for males. Males are just different, not simple.” This male’s perspective on men’s emotions was particularly interesting. He addressed the stereotype that men don’t have emotions or that their emotions are simple. His perspective was duly noted because he explained that men experience just as many emotions as women but that the experience is different and the way that they handle those emotions is different. Maybe it’s a biological reason. (8090)


"I think women overestimate how much men only want women for sex. I think some guys may put up that front, but truly want someone that they can share experiences with and love. Not all men are just looking for sex and will move on once they get it. I think there are definitely many men that act this way, but there are also so many that are looking for someone to be in a relationship with and have no problem spending their life with one woman." (3297)

I appreciate this comment because it forced me to acknowledge that men absolutely experience generalizations and double standards – that it is not just women who deal with this. I sincerely felt for the writer of this comment, because , now that I think about it, those men who genuinely do not just want women solely for sex probably have to deal with a great deal of skepticism and perhaps even hostility from women. That is not to say that this skepticism & hostility is unfounded (and this student even mentions that), but it must be very difficult to be so mistrusted when you truly want to have a relationship with a woman. (3597)


“3.It is constantly misunderstood how damaging it is to be a boy growing up in our culture. Sure in a man’s world we have it made but the pressure of our culture of reclusion to be a “man” is, from a psychological perspective, one of the single worst steps a human can take for mental health. Women clearly have the short end of the stick in the outer society but their culture of interpersonal connection is a huge defense network considering men are discouraged from investing in people emotionally. Historically women have filled the positive role as family care and the negative role as disposable objects of sex. Men filled the positive role as providers and the negative role as disposable objects of war. Sexism is at play on both sides of the field generally as a tool to separate the rich from the poor not to separate the men from the women. I’m not arguing which side is more of a struggle but I do believe that the male culture of independence is too much for a young boy to shoulder and yet we are forever expected to be the solid rock, the stability, to be unbroken when really we just hide our cracks. That being said, Kintsugi is the most beautiful artwork on the planet. (6275)”
It is interesting to see the victimization of men, particularly in young boys, during their adolescence to early adulthood. Their disposal as war objects, as well as conditioning to not appear vulnerable within the public eye or in some cases relationships, is truly unfortunate. (2735)

“6. When I was with my ex-girlfriend we would get into arguments and her friends would treat me rudely or ignore me even if they had no idea what the fight was about. (7737)”
I can sympathize for this guy. One of my roommates rants to us all the time about her boyfriend, mentioning his insecurity and racism towards others. Naturally we all strongly hate this guy now. Rule of thumb: don’t tell your girl friends about your boyfriend’s misbehavior if you don’t want to run the risk of your friends hating him. This is a classic girl situation that many boyfriends fall victim to when their girlfriends are mad at them; it’s as if when a boy dates a girl, he dates her friends too!(2735)

“7. Whenever I am having a bad day, or seemed stress, my girlfriend is always there to support me. Whether it's a hug or a back massage or just sitting me down and asking me to tell her what's wrong, she is always being the perfect supporter and personal cheerleader for me. While I can find support from male friends, she can give me comfort in a way that no one else can. (0645)”
I absolutely understand where he is coming from with this comment. Your significant other provides care and support in a way no one else can, which is special. I’m glad to see that other men can admit to this sentiment. (2735)

I distinctly remember when I met my now girlfriend for the first time – I was attracted to everything about her. Her smile was (and remains) contagious, which I remember lifting my spirits whenever I saw her. Her personality and character were (and are) without a doubt my favorite part about her and arguably her most attractive traits now that I know her much better. That is not to say, however, that she is not the most gorgeous girl I have ever laid my eyes on. The reason why I attempted to talk to her in the first place was the fact that she is drop dead gorgeous. I turned around in a class that we shared one day and after being greeted by her beautiful brown eyes I couldn’t get the thought of her out of my head for the rest of the day. Her physical beauty definitely played a strong role in my attraction to her, but for me personally a woman’s personality plays a much larger role. I couldn’t care less about social status.

This was a statement which I found to be very eloquent and very touching. The man who wrote it clearly cares about his girlfriend in more ways than just her physical appearance. I believe that he is being very honest, as he admits that her appearance was important, but that it was not the most important of her characteristics. I think this shows maturity on his part, as many young men simply do not care about a woman’s personality. It shows that he cares about women in general. The way a person treats his significant other represents the respect he has for her and her gender. (7316).

"I like that the opposite sex allows you to do certain things that would otherwise be considered homosexual by my peers. For instance, drinking some alcoholic beverages without getting some negative remarks from my friends. I know that if I were to go out with some friends and order a Strawberry Daiquiri at least one of them will comment how gay I am. While this may be a stupid example, I feel that I am barricaded from many other things such as yoga, clothing, and even food choices."

This comment really struck me because I have always wondered about this to some extent. I have wondered if men ever feel as stuck in those societal expectations as it appears they are? I think this was really well written and it just made me happy to understand that there is a softer side of men that they feel the need to suppress. I think knowing this goes a long way to better understanding men for who they are and acknowledging that many of their actions can be attributed to who they are, but also the societal pressures they are under. (1569)

“One thing that I have found is how common it is for women to be upset, irritable, or a mix of many emotions before their period. I always thought when I was younger that it was just a stereotype that men use to poke fun at women, but I have really seen it to be quite accurate. I have observed on many occasions girls, who are usually sweet and kind, to be actually snappy and mean. This observation comes before I even know that they are coming close to the start of their period too. This is definitely something that women experience and not men because women have such a high rush of hormones during this period that leads to the changes in mood.”

This is one thing that I know for certain cannot be denied because as a female, it gets pointed out often that there are times where I get very moody and snap at someone and be aware that it was just because of the hormonal changes going on. We are all aware of it and we do feel bad when we realize that we just snapped and very irritable but I don’t know how else to put it, it’s inevitable. We can be aware of it all we want but I feel like it’s just innate. (9119)

"My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis."

I think that the author’s friend was very brave to admit that he was raped, because male rape victims are very unlikely to report these attacks. I feel it is because men would be afraid to be seen as feminine for reporting that they were raped by a female. This post evoked a strong feeling of anger in me as well, because I feel it is horrible that a man’s claim would be questioned whether or not he had an erect penis. An erect penis does not always indicate sexual arousal. Even if the man was sexually aroused, he was not conscious to decide whether or not he wanted to have sexual intercourse. (7528)

“One situation that confused me about the opposite sex was when a female friend and I got in an argument about whether or not we had feeling for each other. We had been friends for about over a year and I feel we got along together very well. We had common interests and we both were able to open up to each other. It was very easy to have a conversation with her. Over time however, our relationship began to change. I felt that she was becoming more distant and we were drifting apart as friends. One day I finally decided to confront her about this and she said that she had feelings for me. She said that it should have been obvious to me that she liked me, and that I was being insensitive to her feelings. I was shocked when she said this because I had no idea that she felt this way about me, and from the interaction I had with her, I just felt that we were really close friends. Unfortunately though I did not feel the same way about her as she felt about me. She was very upset about my response and decided that she didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. I was very upset that our good friendship fell apart, and even though I feel I did everything I could to salvage our relationship, she was not willing to patch things up. Looking back at this situation I feel that she may have reacted the way that she did because from what I am aware, females are more in touch with their emotional side than men. I’m assuming because of the emotional investment she had in me and because she felt that I ignored her feelings, she was extremely hurt. I on the other hand did not think things would get to the point that they did because I am not very in tune with my emotions. I may not have been as empathetic as she needed me to be, and in turn, I pushed her away. (8355)”
I find this comment to be very sincere as well as very observant about the every day and very real behaviors of girls. I think he was very respectful about the unfortunate end of the friendship because instead of being very critical and leaving her behavior down to girls overacting over everything, he tries to empathize with the way his friend was feeling in an almost understanding and self-depricating way by leaving it down to a female’s greater ability to have stronger and more caring emotional value. (2259)

1. “A situation that has been confusing to me, with the opposite sex, is when you are out with a female and they get offended or upset when you make a comment about another female or just look at another female. It makes me wonder if they are really that insecure about themselves that they have to be made to thought they are the only female in the universe the moment they are with you. The thought process which females have puzzles me. What could they possibly be thinking that they think they are not guilty of finding other people attractive, they are also just human. The only difference is they don’t say anything and may observe someone of the opposite sex more discretely. When it comes down to it all I can think of to explain this is that they would rather just not know what we really think and just want to know and see what makes them, feel secure. Personally I don’t mind a female looking at someone else or making a comment, this make me feel more trusting of them since they don’t feel the need to hide things.”
This comment really struck home with me. I think he has a valid point, being that there are many girls and it would be completely ridiculous to only find one girl attractive. Also, girls find multiple guys attractive. It’s just human nature. It is that you are openly acting on it (by checking them out when we are around), which can come off as disrespectful. You’re right in saying that it can bring out our insecurities but we cant help but want a man who will respect us enough to not check out other girls and comment while we are together. (9609)

2. “One year I was in Mammoth and got really bad food poisoning and I was staying in a house with 5 girls and 3 guys. All the girls were happy to bring me food or water while I was sick simply because of their caring nature. However, my guy friends that were there could care less whether or not I felt okay, they knew I would be okay the next day, but the girls were very compassionate.”
I found this story to completely demonstrate a difference between males and females. Females innately have a nurturing side. Evolutionary psychology would appreciate this story as it clearly demonstrates parental qualities that females hold. (9609)


3. “I notice that the opposite sex will treat you very well when they are in need of help with manual labor. I can't count how many times I have been contacted with most sincere text messages followed by asking me to come by and move a piece of furniture. (5768)”
I think this is an interesting point that whenever females need some sort of physical labor done, they call upon their male friends/significant others to help and expect them to drop everything to aid them. Guys can also feel exploited and taken advantage of. While not all women may use interest in order to get help, whether it be physical or other, it is important to point out that men may end up feeling manipulated because of this. (9609)

Overall, I think the most admirable trait of the female gender is its ability to love and care for others. Women seem to tap into these wells of thoughtfulness and consideration that try as I might, I will never find. The women in my life are always remembering my birthday (and furthermore give me gifts for it), calling to say "hi" because they miss me, and often deferring their own plans or pursuits to help me out when needed.
In terms of dislikes, it seems that women have a tendency to over-analyze situations. Not only can this be annoying as a male who does his best to not "sweat the small stuff", it can sometimes be outright dangerous in a relationship with a woman, romantic or otherwise. In terms of annoyance, you can always count on a girl to have an hour-long soap opera story about how her friend told her such a thing, and how your friend cannot determine whether this has a hidden meaning and implication for their friendship or not. In terms of danger, one can never know when an impending arguement with a girl is incoming because of the most insignificant action or word on your part. For example, telling a female friend that you will call her when your group of friends goes out for dinner and forgetting, may take more than just a simple "sorry" to remedy. Also, offering to help another girl with an errand might be a declaration of war to your girlfriend. It sometimes seems that female cognition is almost wired completely differently from males. (0645)
I appreciate your kind words about women being thoughtful. It is nice to know that when we reach out it is noticed. I can agree with your dislike that we over-analyze situations. I definitely do this at the beginning of relationships when I am trying to assess what the guy is feeling or wants. I do find that some girls over-analyze situations with other girls far too often which can lead to turmoil in friendships. (7100)

“My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis.” (5768)

It is so sad and unfortunate that males have to endure the psychological and physical trauma and pain of being raped, but are treated as if the sex was a gift to them. There is a social view that males don’t feel sadness and pain when compared to women, but they are human and can feel all emotions just as much as females. The pain that women and men go through being raped are the same. I feel so bad for the male that had to go through this and was brushed off when trying to report a traumatic event. Just because he had an erect penis or if a woman has an orgasm being raped does not mean that they deserve it. Rape culture is such a hot topic these days and hopefully males who were raped now can get the recognition and help like women do. (2835)



“2. I love the way woman look, the way they are able to express their emotions so freely, the way they can read the emotions of others and act accordingly, and how nurturing they are and ready to help others. I dislike how gossipy women can be and how they are so willing to backstab each other to make themselves look good. I also dislike how woman will sometimes pry information out of others that may not want to talk about what they are feeling. (3297)”

I am touched by what this guy mentioned in the beginning. As a woman, I can sympathize with him regarding the second sentence. I have been on the front line of being ‘asked’ in order to pry information out of me regarding personal information about other people that I see have no business to know about in the first place. Although I have not been backstabbed, I have heard of other girls who were backstabbed and I really hate that aspect of us women. (1214)

One thing that I have found is how common it is for women to be upset, irritable, or a mix of many emotions before their period. I always thought when I was younger that it was just a stereotype that men use to poke fun at women, but I have really seen it to be quite accurate. I have observed on many occasions girls, who are usually sweet and kind, to be actually snappy and mean. This observation comes before I even know that they are coming close to the start of their period too. This is definitely something that women experience and not men because women have such a high rush of hormones during this period that leads to the changes in mood.
Its really interesting to me to see how boys make the assumption that when girls are abnormally moody, we are on our periods. In some cases this may be true, but male psychology students should consider what they’ve learned in social psychology. Specifically, they should consider attributions, and how that plays in the role of making assumptions about other individuals without considering their own perspective. Sure, women’s hormones may be imbalance sometimes, but if a girl is upset, irritable, or a mix of emotions, males should not associate these traits to menstrual cycles. There are other extraneous variables that can trigger certain emotions not just in females. Someone can be having a bad day or be going through an emotional time. The next time a male assumes a girl is on her period, try to reconsider other variables before making an hasty conclusions. (8870)

I find that physical appearance plays a large influence on my initial attraction to someone. Usually if I find her physically attractive, I will tend to pay more attention to her and will seek to see what her personality and ect is like. Friendly gestures towards me may increase my attraction towards someone, but unless they're consistent, I will never act on them. Social status really doesn't matter to me unless the person is seen as a total outcast. Someone that is an embarrassment or shame to be seen with is a huge turn-off for me.
I feel like some women might find this comment offense and “typical” of men to say, but I would 100 percent agree. As we learned in class, when we are seeking out potential lovers or mates, we subconsciously think about our off springs and what they would look like. Naturally, humans try to seek out others who can help them produce healthy and good-looking children. Whenever I am checking out another guy, the attractive ones will catch my eye. I would like to specify that I do not go for the extremely hot or pretty guys. I tend to be more attracted to males who have a baby face and are tall. Embodying a great personality is always a bonus for me. I find myself with guys who are funny and know how to express their emotions well. I agree, friendly gestures are always useful when someone is flirting, we are more aware of body language when we are attracted to someone. Certain cues insinuate certain sexual messages that could lead to relationship development. Another argument I agree with is social status. I do not care for how much money someone makes or if they come from money. As long as they have a stable career, ambitious, and have their head on their shoulders, I will be content. (8870)

I was sitting on a couch at a VIP booth in a night club at Las Vegas. Two girls came up to me and grabbed me off the couch and starting dancing with me. One of them started making out with me because she thought I was a hot guy."

I am not going to lie, this is probably the most shallow comment that caught my eye. The question was asking when the opposite sex performed a nice gesture, and this is what a greedy male would consider nice…I am sure there are other acts that women have done for this person that were genuinely nice, but clearly this was a significant memory that stuck out. This just proves that there are some insecure males in the world who need a title to prove to girls their worth. From my personal experience, guys who act like this are usually the ones who cannot get girls without being associated with a group or money. Additionally, these males are not always the best looking ones, hence why they need the title to validate any sense of esteem in them. (8870)



2. ...disturbed and/or upset you, and why?

4. The physical characteristics that attract me to a female would be their breasts, butt, waist, face, and eyes. As far as personality goes humor and self confidence and being low key are very important. I would say the most important factor would be, prior to meeting physical attributes, after meeting demeanor and mannerism around me. (6163)

Female Response: So the first sentence is an obvious statement that most men make about intial attraction to women. But what I was bothered by was the “being low key” part. What I get from the low key part is that this male wants a woman that he can boss around and won’t challenge him. A relationship should be about balance and if a female is “low key” then the male would dominate the relationship. (0226)
6. ...revealed something about how males may feel a sense of powerlessness

in comparison to women, or how they may feel manipulated by women?

“1. It seems as though women drop very subtle hints as to whether they consider you a friend or as something more. Most of which are ambiguous and difficult to decipher. I feel as though I must make the move and interpret them correctly as males must be viewed as the aggressor in pursuing a relationship. It’s hard because you don’t want to overstep your boundaries and make things awkward. I think women don’t ever want to be the aggressor and so must send out subtle hints to not appear that way. They also tend to date assholes. (4073)”

Female Response: This response is interesting to me because it shows that males do understand the subtle hints that us females leave for them. I also find it interesting how this idea of females falling for assholes keeps reoccurring. Maybe it is because the “assholes” make it apparent that they like us girls while the “nice guys” continue to decipher our subtle hints. (0226)


7. ...revealed something about how males may feel a sense of power

over women, or in comparison to women?

2)One thing I like about women is, for the most part, they’re often more petite and dainty compared to men. This makes me feel masculine like I want to protect them. I like that they’re generally way more organized although this can also get really annoying if they try to impose their ways on me. I like that women are much more caring and nurturing. It’s always nice to have someone take care of you when you’re sick. For example, last fall I got really sick. I had a high fever and couldn’t even get out of bed. One of the girls down the hall whom I was good friends with took the time to walk to the store and buy me soup and orange juice and bring it to my room. Later that night she even made me hot tea. There is absolutely no way I would ever ask the majority of my guy friends to do that. Maybe one or two but that’s it. Nor would any of my guy friends ever feel the desire to do something like that out of the kindness of their heart like she did. Most of my guy friends would just say, “Damn. Hope you feel better bro,” and move on with their day. I also like that girls always smell good. Especially their hair. The shampoos they use are so fruity and warm and soft and everything that’s good in the world. It’s so soothing to smell. What I don’t like about girls is how they overthink almost everything. A simple sentence can turn into a few days of worrying for them. They’ll sit there and think forever about what it could’ve meant and what else that person was thinking when they said it. That can be really annoying. I also don’t like the way they talk about each other behind each other’s backs and then act like best friends in person. I feel like generally girls are much faker towards one another because they have a greater fear of confrontation. I think they fear making someone else feel uncomfortable or maybe they don’t want to make themselves feel uncomfortable. Instead of being straight up they put on a smile and then gossip about how they really feel later and this bothers me a lot. (1761)

Female Response: While I feel like this male is genuinely trying to be positive about the opposite sex but the fact that he said he likes women for their daintiness so he could protect them is troubling. Also, the fact that he said that he likes females because our hair smells good…kind of creepy. I really think he was coming at this question in a positive way towards women but approached it completely wrong. (0226)

1. The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to surpress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent.
I believe women are looking for certain benchmarks of emotion, such as sharing all our problems or insecurities with them, and asking how their day went. When these certain criteria are not met, they mistakenly assume that emotions are simply not the male forte. Guys care, and think about emotions a lot. We just do not always need to express them.

I find that this response is interesting since most woman believe that men do not have any emotions. Although, I believe women believe men do not express their emotions because they need to portray a manly persona that can not be challenged. I believe that it is important that men express some interest in their emotions so that women don’t feel like they are talking to a wall. Communication is key and being able to express everything makes things and life easier. (4288)

2. ...disturbed and/or upset you, and why?

My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis.

This passage upset me because it is sad to hear what had happened to that individual. Throughout college campuses, there are many rape cases that are solely reported by women and are only sometimes taken serious. Men reporting rape cases are seldom reported by males and its upsetting to hear that when one individual attempts to report it and it goes ignored. It does not make sense to me how individuals can asses that an erect penis while unconscious does not constitute as rape. Its utterly disgusting. (4288)

3. In the first class we had for psych 3010 we listed our dislikes of the opposite gender in the second half of the class. We got through all three female groups rather quickly as the men simply listened and usually actually agreed. But the one group of men took 30 min to list our five dislikes because every time we mentioned one the women, granted a few women out of many, would steamroll the conversation of list of excuses and explanations rather than just listening as we had to theirs. I find that in general women are great listeners to other women but are not great listeners to men. Many times have spent months listening to a female friend’s gripes and issues but when I have been having hard months and want to talk it out they listen for a moment before turning the topic back to themselves.

After the first day of class, I felt the exact same way once the class session had ended. In the beginning of class, the males in the room were quite and respectful of the opinions and the criticisms the women were displaying. Though, once the males of the class began giving their opinion on the women act, everyone automatically jumped to conclusions and the men weren't given a chance to speak like then women did. I defiantly felt bad that they weren't given the same respect that the men granted the women. (4288)

4. One situation in particular that always confuses me is when I hear girls say that they like “bad boys.” It has always baffled me that girls want a guy who is either ‘player,’ rude, cocky, disrespectful, and overly aggressive. In many cases when girls end up in relationships with these types of guys, they usually suffer and regret being in the relationship. It also confuses me when girls say, “nice guys finish last,” because I don’t understand why being with a nice guy would be a bad thing. I’m sure there is something alluring about a “bad boy,” but I would think that would only be in a sexual context. When it comes to long-term relationship, I don’t understand why it would be smart to waste your time with a guy who doesn’t seem to treat anybody with decency or respect.

I completely agree that these robust gender norms that are bestowed upon men and women are ridiculous. The fact that this individual brought up the issue of women want men that are bad boys rather than a nice guy is true. Women like men who are strong, tough, and bad when they continue to fall for men who are players. When the nice guys come around, girls will continue to friend zone them and then complain when they aren't respected. These nice guys then turn into players since they are treated like shit and it become this endless vicious cycle that never ends. (4288)

5. I come from a very traditional Hispanic family. There are some things I really like about this and others I will definitely change when I start to raise my own children. One of the things I really don’t like is that the men in our family are expected to be the real breadwinners and the high achievers while the women are supposed to focus on being a good mother and making life easier for their husband whenever possible. Over the years I’ve picked up on small ques from my mother and grandmother that show how deeply this is engrained in their values. They always talk loud and proud about how I’m going to go to medical school and become a physician. At the same time, my sister who is extremely smart, seems to get far less attention. I push her to aim her goals high and apply to law school, but none of the females seem to encourage this idea. When I asked my mom why she said lawyers are always just so busy and she wants my sister to have time for her kids. This, however, does not seem to be a concern when it comes to me working long hours as a doctor. Overall, when it comes to future career paths the attention is always on me because I’m a man and, in their opinion, men need to be successful to provide for their family.

I found this particular interesting because I also come from a hispanic household and find that my family members place a heavy weight on my future successes and makes my sister feel inadequate. Although it is only my sister and I, she never went to college and never became driven to pursue a lucrative career and continues to live with her best friend even at 30. Then there is me, almost done with college, applying to graduate school, and am hoping to one day become a psychologist. My family loves to boast that I am the smart one in the family, the one that decided not to waste her future, and it breaks my heart because i know it hurts my sister. On top of that, she has always considered me to be the ‘golden child’ because I was the favorite, the one who looks white with blonde hair and blue eyes ad doesn't look hispanic but knows fluent Spanish, and is the favorite. She’s brought it up multiple times during family disputes and I try to make her feel that what she has accomplished is important and worthwhile but I don’t think it breakthrough. (4288)

6. I think in general women are much better at staying organized. Their notes in class are much more detailed. They have way better hand writing. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen a paper with no name on it and heard someone say, “oh that’s for sure girl hand writing.” When I hear someone say I have girl hand writing I always take that as a compliment. I think they are better at communicating their feelings to people they trust. Not only do they do a better job at saying how they’re really feeling, they’re also more willing to share how they’re feeling if it’s someone they trust talking to. In terms of weaknesses I think women are way too self-conscious. To me it seems like the world of women is a dog eat dog world. They have less room to dress sloppy because other women will be critical of them. For this reason, they’re always worried about their appearance and how people will view them.

I don’t believe that this passage reflects that this individual feels manipulated or powerlessness to but instead compliments and how he feels about them. I honestly didn’t find a passage that reflects any harbored negativity against women so instead I chose this passage since this individual feels a sense of pride when their handwriting mimics a women which makes me smile because I love neat handwriting. (4288)

7. One thing I like about women is, for the most part, they’re often more petite and dainty compared to men. This makes me feel masculine like I want to protect them. I like that they’re generally way more organized although this can also get really annoying if they try to impose their ways on me. I like that women are much more caring and nurturing. It’s always nice to have someone take care of you when you’re sick. For example, last fall I got really sick. I had a high fever and couldn’t even get out of bed. One of the girls down the hall whom I was good friends with took the time to walk to the store and buy me soup and orange juice and bring it to my room. Later that night she even made me hot tea. There is absolutely no way I would ever ask the majority of my guy friends to do that. Maybe one or two but that’s it. Nor would any of my guy friends ever feel the desire to do something like that out of the kindness of their heart like she did. Most of my guy friends would just say, “Damn. Hope you feel better bro,” and move on with their day. I also like that girls always smell good. Especially their hair. The shampoos they use are so fruity and warm and soft and everything that’s good in the world. It’s so soothing to smell. What I don’t like about girls is how they overthink almost everything. A simple sentence can turn into a few days of worrying for them. They’ll sit there and think forever about what it could’ve meant and what else that person was thinking when they said it. That can be really annoying. I also don’t like the way they talk about each other behind each other’s backs and then act like best friends in person. I feel like generally girls are much faker towards one another because they have a greater fear of confrontation. I think they fear making someone else feel uncomfortable or maybe they don’t want to make themselves feel uncomfortable. Instead of being straight up they put on a smile and then gossip about how they really feel later and this bothers me a lot.

This individual feels a sense of power over women because they like their women small and petite. There is nothing wrong with that (I prefer my men to be larger and taller than me) yet he feels that being larger and masculine by the sense of protecting them. I believe that men feel a sense of power over women when they have the ability to make them feel safe and loved. I agree with this notion because I genuinely feel protected and safe when a guy is a tad larger. (4288)


7. ...revealed something about how males may feel a sense of power over women, or in comparison to women?

I think the biggest strength and weakness of women are their emotionality. It’s a strength because their levels of empathy and abilities to connect with those they communicate with. It is also a weakness because it can cloud their judgment and rationality in particular situations, especially if they are heavily invested in something or someone. It can also lead to a loss in impartiality in deciding particular things.”

It seems that men both value and pity women’s intuition and knowledge of emotion. Women have the ability to be emotionally sympathetic and empathetic to the problems of others, and as a result can give supportive, thoughtful advice. Men see this as an advantage because they perceive woman’s easy ability to connect with others when in times of distress. However, men also see women’s emotion as inhibiting them in taking action and fixing the problem rather than lamenting over it. Men’s brains are not as emotionally adapt, but rather are built to solve problems logically. So, when it comes to times in which action is the best option, men are more powerful in comparison to women. (0082)



Previous classes:

I distinctly remember when I met my now girlfriend for the first time – I was attracted to everything about her. Her smile was (and remains) contagious, which I remember lifting my spirits whenever I saw her. Her personality and character were (and are) without a doubt my favorite part about her and arguably her most attractive traits now that I know her much better. That is not to say, however, that she is not the most gorgeous girl I have ever laid my eyes on. The reason why I attempted to talk to her in the first place was the fact that she is drop dead gorgeous. I turned around in a class that we shared one day and after being greeted by her beautiful brown eyes I couldn’t get the thought of her out of my head for the rest of the day. Her physical beauty definitely played a strong role in my attraction to her, but for me personally a woman’s personality plays a much larger role. I couldn’t care less about social status.

I just hope that whoever wrote this reminds his girlfriend of these things. This kind of emotional communication is definitely underappreciated by the male race. I’m not saying men should be any kind of Romeo courting their Juliet in poetic verse beneath her windowsill, but communicating a verbal/written expression of a one’s feelings means a lot more to a woman than I think they know. It may come as a shock, but although sometimes women may make you believe we can, we don’t read minds either.(2216)


The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to suppress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent. I believe women are looking for certain benchmarks of emotion, such as sharing all our problems or insecurities with them, and asking how their day went. When these certain criteria are not met, they mistakenly assume that emotions are simply not the male forte. Guys care, and think about emotions a lot. We just do not always need to express them. (0645)

While I certainly understand this perspective, I also believe that expressing emotions allow for females to feel a deeper sense of intimacy. I wonder if this is true for men as well. I think, especially in a relationship, it is important to express love in a way that the receiving partner can understand it. (4640)

2. "Overall, I think the most admirable trait of the female gender is its ability to love and care for others. Women seem to tap into these wells of thoughtfulness and consideration that try as I might, I will never find. The women in my life are always remembering my birthday (and furthermore give me gifts for it), calling to say "hi" because they miss me, and often deferring their own plans or pursuits to help me out when needed."
I really appreciated this, while I feel like there are often men who do the same thing, I know being a girl I often try to connect with those I am closest to and I am glad to see that that effort can be recognized and appreciated. (5369)
the fact that they are more attractive than they think, and that their value extends beyond their appearance.” I just thought that this person seemed to be a great guy who actually cares about women, and not just trying to get in their pants. (4103)

“In terms of dislikes, it seems that women have a tendency to over-analyze situations. Not only can this be annoying as a male who does his best to not "sweat the small stuff", it can sometimes be outright dangerous in a relationship with a woman, romantic or otherwise. In terms of annoyance, you can always count on a girl to have an hour-long soap opera story about how her friend told her such a thing, and how your friend cannot determine whether this has a hidden meaning and implication for their friendship or not. In terms of danger, one can never know when an impending argument with a girl is incoming because of the most insignificant action or word on your part. For example, telling a female friend that you will call her when your group of friends goes out for dinner and forgetting, may take more than just a simple "sorry" to remedy. Also, offering to help another girl with an errand might be a declaration of war to your girlfriend. It sometimes seems that female cognition is almost wired completely differently from males.”
Chapter six of Louann Brizendine’s The Female Brain expresses how sensitive a woman’s brain is to a person’s facial expression, tone of voice, dialect, etc. A woman’s body and brain receive all the emotional signals a man gives off. The term “over-analyze” is not necessarily a term to use to describe a woman’s brain unless you are comparing it to a male brain. Woman’s brain process much more emotion than a male brain does, so it would only make sense that she is quick to pick up on instincts and emotions and feel the need to talk to her partner about them. (3022)

“I would talk about things very blatantly to insure she doesn’t make the move. I would mention maybe someone else I’m seeing even if I’m not seeing anyone. (4073)”
I think this would be a terrible way to handle a situation that included denying a potential partner. Lying gets people no where, and being honest, although hard at times, will be the most beneficial way of rearing someone away from becoming sexual. If this is how one male thinks he should handle this type of situation, than it makes me question how many others believe that lying is a smart way to handle denying a female. Lying is a common habit but I do not find it fair to lie to another person whose feelings are at risk of being hurt (2501).

"A situation that has been confusing to me, with the opposite sex, is when you are out with a female and they get offended or upset when you make a comment about another female or just look at another female. It makes me wonder if they are really that insecure about themselves that they have to be made to thought they are the only female in the universe the moment they are with you. The thought process which females have puzzles me. What could they possibly be thinking that they think they are not guilty of finding other people attractive, they are also just human. The only difference is they don’t say anything and may observe someone of the opposite sex more discretely. When it comes down to it all I can think of to explain this is that they would rather just not know what we really think and just want to know and see what makes them, feel secure. Personally I don’t mind a female looking at someone else or making a comment, this make me feel more trusting of them since they don’t feel the need to hide things."
This addressed a personal issue for me. But I do agree with everything he said. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and when he sees a pretty girl he says it out loud, and it doesn't bother me. In fact I will even tell him if I agree or disagree. We have openness with one another. Guys should be able to say that a woman is beautiful and the girl he is with shouldn't get jealous. It isn’t like he’s saying he wants to have sex with her, he is just saying what’s on his mind and there’s nothing wrong with that. If there is no open communication than there will be problems. (9232)


“After my high school prom, I rented a house with my prom date and all of my friends. My prom date invited her ex-boyfriend to our party, which made me a bit upset but she told me they were just good friends. He showed up and I did my best to be kind to him but he was all over my prom date. I got very upset and went to the backyard to cool off. After hanging out in the backyard for awhile I walked into the house and could not find my prom date. I went outside to the front stoop and I saw my prom date and her ex-boyfriend making out. I had never felt more rejected in my entire life. She rejected me in the worst way possible and clearly still had feelings for her ex. I had liked this girl for almost three years but we had never found a way to make it work. I finally thought things were going well because we had a great time at prom. The way she rejected me was beyond inconsiderate. She lead me on and didn’t communicate with me how she was feeling at all. I realized she had invited her ex-boyfriend to the party because she still had feelings for him and then she made out with him in front of all of my friends. I felt embarrassed, angry, miserable and heartbroken all at once. She could have been much more considerate with the way she choose to end things and reject me. She should of communicated with me how she was feeling with me and what she was looking for. She could of not lead me on during the entire weekend or even have gone to prom with me. She should of told me that she still liked her ex-boyfriend and shouldn’t of spent a weekend with me at a house on the beach with my friends. She rejected me with her actions, not her words, which made it even worse.”
This evoked a sense of empathy because I have been in a somewhat similar situation like this where I was unaware of the feelings of a friend of mine. Just as you said that she rejected you with her actions, not her words, take into consideration how you approached her and if she even knew of your feelings. Convey how you feel with words, not just actions, because they may not always be clear. (3066)

"It seems as though women drop very subtle hints as to whether they consider you a friend or as something more. Most of which are ambiguous and difficult to decipher. I feel as though I must make the move and interpret them correctly as males must be viewed as the aggressor in pursuing a relationship. It’s hard because you don’t want to overstep your boundaries and make things awkward. I think women don’t ever want to be the aggressor and so must send out subtle hints to not appear that way. They also tend to date assholes."
I don’t know about this being particularly “eloquent,” however it did address a very relevant problem. I agree that women tend to like men who act as the initiator/ aggressor when it comes to relationships. Perhaps women end up dating assholes more times than not because rather that go after men who are trying and failing at attempting to decipher the impossible “female code” of courtship, assholes disregard the code altogether and simply just take charge. A good tip for men would be to be honest and forthcoming more than anything. If you’re up front you can still be assertive and attractive and overcome the “code.” (6503)

“The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to surpress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent.
I believe women are looking for certain benchmarks of emotion, such as sharing all our problems or insecurities with them, and asking how their day went. When these certain criteria are not met, they mistakenly assume that emotions are simply not the male forte. Guys care, and think about emotions a lot. We just do not always need to express them.”
To be honest, this is probably the best explanation of this I have ever heard from a male. I agree that we females are looking for “benchmarks of emotion”, and I will even go as far as saying that we judge males as being emotionless when they do not provide this for us. Both me and my friends have been upset by guys when they don’t share their emotions with us, or when we try to have a serious conversation about something with them, mainly just because it seems like guys are writing us and our emotions off. That makes us feel unimportant. The way this male approached it really shed light into men’s emotionality for me. I think most of the there is miscommunication – I expect more emotionally from the male I’m talking to than they’re programmed to give. (6943)

I like how different women are then men. They think differently by looking at the world with a more empathetic view and motivate us to be better. I also think women are objectively better looking. I dislike that they complain about problems but don’t ever feel the need to solve them. Any suggestion on what to do usually warrants a negative response. I also feel as though they blow a lot of situations out of proportion by over analyzing them”
I think this comment conveys a fundamental behavior difference in men and women- they feel the need to solve problems, where we just want to be listened to and feel heard. This comment shows me that both of us are just trying our best to be helpful, and that recognizing this core difference is helpful in being more sympathetic to help attempts from the opposite sex. 8447

“ I had gone on several dates with a woman a while back. Everything seemed to be going well and we were beginning to become physically intimate. After one date, which, once again, seemed to go very well, she didn’t respond to my follow up text. Finally, she texted back saying we should just be friends. I thought it was a little inconsiderate to do that over text and also without any particular explanation. I was mostly confused by it, and would much rather have preferred that that had been said on a more personal level than text. (7858)”

I have had this happen to me, although, I did not even get a rejection text message. Instead, he just stopped talking to me altogether. I think that many women would be empathetic to this situation. Getting a rejection text out of the blue, especially after you think everything was going well, can hurt really badly. You will constantly question every little thing you did that could have potentially led to the change of heart. Having the rejection happen over text extinguishes any chance you had of finding closure. I find that it is important to realize that this does not only happen to women by assholes (though this was my previous belief). It is interesting to see that it very well happens to men as well. (3651)

“I think that a strength of the opposite sex is how organized and clean they are. Another strength is their ability to care and take care of others. I think that being insecure and attention hungry are weaknesses of the opposite sex. Another weakness of women are how controlling they are. They have an inability to see others perspectives on issues and always desire things to be done exactly how they want it. (3800)”

I think this person must have had a terrible ex(s) first of all. Secondly, I completely disagree that girls don’t see well from other perspectives. Most women are known for being extremely empathetic, which allows our great ability for compassion. However, I do understand his view that women are insecure, although “attention hungry” may be a personal issue of his. (5680)


After my high school prom, I rented a house with my prom date and all of my friends. My prom date invited her ex-boyfriend to our party, which made me a bit upset but she told me they were just good friends. He showed up and I did my best to be kind to him but he was all over my prom date. I got very upset and went to the backyard to cool off. After hanging out in the backyard for awhile I walked into the house and could not find my prom date. I went outside to the front stoop and I saw my prom date and her ex-boyfriend making out. I had never felt more rejected in my entire life. She rejected me in the worst way possible and clearly still had feelings for her ex. I had liked this girl for almost three years but we had never found a way to make it work. I finally thought things were going well because we had a great time at prom. The way she rejected me was beyond inconsiderate. She lead me on and didn’t communicate with me how she was feeling at all. I realized she had invited her ex-boyfriend to the party because she still had feelings for him and then she made out with him in front of all of my friends. I felt embarrassed, angry, miserable and heartbroken all at once. She could have been much more considerate with the way she choose to end things and reject me. She should of communicated with me how she was feeling with me and what she was looking for. She could of not lead me on during the entire weekend or even have gone to prom with me. She should of told me that she still liked her ex-boyfriend and shouldn’t of spent a weekend with me at a house on the beach with my friends. She rejected me with her actions, not her words, which made it even worse. (3800)”

I can empathize with this situation of being rejected by someone else by their actions rather than their words. When I experienced a similar situation, I never understood how a person could consciously choose to lead another person on or not simply be up front with their feelings. It is disheartening to see how poorly people can treat other people, especially when there are romantic feelings involved. Some immature people do not realize that the phrase “actions speak louder than words” rings true, and being rejected in this way is definitely the worst way possible for both men and women. (3742)

Recently a group of girls that I am good friends with were seeking advice about guys. I listened to their problems and gave them the best advice I could on each of their individual situations. They desired a male’s perspective of the situation and thought I gave them good advice. They thanked me for listening to their problems and cooked me dinner. (3800)

I really liked how this guy took the time to help his girl friends out. I know that some of the best advice I get is from my guy friends. They offer an alternative point of view. Girls like to stir the pot more, while guys like to look at situations logically, which definitely benefits the situation. (2473)

"I have a friend who may be the sweetest girl in the world. She is very smart and usually gives my friends, male and female, good advice about dating and relationships. However she has a propensity for falling for guys who are complete assholes and who treat her like shit. She currently likes this guy who a majority of our mutual friends feel is a douche bag. He is rude and inconsiderate not only to her but to us as well. The kicker is that this guy is not even particularly attractive. I think this just goes to show that even the best girls have a thing for arrogant, rude assholes. I just can’t comprehend why women are attracted to men who treat them so badly. (7737)"

This evoked a sincere sense of empathy in me because it is true that women will frequently date assholes who treat them badly. The reason I was drawn to this comment is because I have been researching females’ attraction to these asshole-type guys from an evolutionary perspective. It is very interesting that the reason for this attraction to men who are arrogant and rude, etc. could be because these were the characteristics required for males to show dominance and strength in societies where men had to compete. (0516)

1. “The most misunderstood thing about males is that females believe we are emotionally simple. This is far from the truth males just have different emotions provoked by certain things and even when the same emotions are provoked the way of dealing with said emotion is different for males. Males are just different, not simple. (6163)”
I have to admit that I have fallen victim to this belief that men are “simple”. I’ve always thought that men just think with their pants and that’s the end of it. That certainly seems to be a lot easier than the “female” emotions that go so deep you could drown in them. I was drawn to this comment because one of my guy friends recently started dating this new girl and he’s been constantly texting me asking me for advice because he is so nervous. It was nice to see that he actually cared about making a good impression and not “blowing it” with this new girl and it showed me that men may actually think more similarly to women than I initially thought (9977)

“At work once a female co-worker assisted me in unloading the weekly delivery of boxes of paper instead of assuming I would do it just because I was the male. Having someone assume a task is yours simply because of your gender gets old after awhile and it’s a nice change when a woman expects equality but also grants equality.”

I really enjoyed this comment because it shows that you don’t have to choose between chivalry and equality. A woman deserves to be treated with courtesy and consideration, but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t demonstrate her own strength and independence as an equal to men. I feel empathetic towards men who try to navigate the line between treated a woman with chivalry and as his equal, but this comment shows that women need to help them with that navigation by understanding the balance themselves.(3512)

"I like how different women are then men. They think differently by looking at the world with a more empathetic view and motivate us to be better. I also think women are objectively better looking. I dislike that they complain about problems but don’t ever feel the need to solve them. Any suggestion on what to do usually warrants a negative response. I also feel as though they blow a lot of situations out of proportion by over analyzing them. (4073)"

I completely agree with this response. Everybody has dealt with gossip or at least listened to their friend talk about a problem, but females in particular do so just to get the satisfaction of picking apart the issue. I don’t know why we do it, but I agree that we care more about talking about the problem than actually finding a solution to it. That’s why a negative reaction is involved because girls just want someone to support them in their view, not someone to tell them what to do. I realize that I have acted this way, and I'm not proud. (2811)

“ I had gone on several dates with a woman a while back. Everything seemed to be going well and we were beginning to become physically intimate. After one date, which, once again, seemed to go very well, she didn’t respond to my follow up text. Finally, she texted back saying we should just be friends. I thought it was a little inconsiderate to do that over text and also without any particular explanation. I was mostly confused by it, and would much rather have preferred that that had been said on a more personal level than text. (7858)”

I have had this happen to me, although, I did not even get a rejection text message. Instead, he just stopped talking to me altogether. I think that many women would be empathetic to this situation. Getting a rejection text out of the blue, especially after you think everything was going well, can hurt really badly. You will constantly question every little thing you did that could have potentially led to the change of heart. Having the rejection happen over text extinguishes any chance you had of finding closure. I find that it is important to realize that this does not only happen to women by assholes (though this was my previous belief). It is interesting to see that it very well happens to men as well. (3651)



"The most misunderstood thing about males is that females believe we are emotionally simple. This is far from the truth males just have different emotions provoked by certain things and even when the same emotions are provoked the way of dealing with said emotion is different for males. Males are just different, not simple." (6163)


This response was well put because it had a nice way of helping me see how men feel about a certain issue. After reading the comment I would say that I have to agree with him, women often do not realize that men can be emotional, just on their own terms. I think this is where it is important for both sexes to communicate with words and let each other know how they are feeling because human beings are clearly not mind readers. (3007)

“After my high school prom, I rented a house with my prom date and all of my friends. My prom date invited her ex-boyfriend to our party, which made me a bit upset but she told me they were just good friends. He showed up and I did my best to be kind to him but he was all over my prom date. I got very upset and went to the backyard to cool off. After hanging out in the backyard for awhile I walked into the house and could not find my prom date. I went outside to the front stoop and I saw my prom date and her ex-boyfriend making out. I had never felt more rejected in my entire life. She rejected me in the worst way possible and clearly still had feelings for her ex. I had liked this girl for almost three years but we had never found a way to make it work. I finally thought things were going well because we had a great time at prom. The way she rejected me was beyond inconsiderate. She lead me on and didn’t communicate with me how she was feeling at all. I realized she had invited her ex-boyfriend to the party because she still had feelings for him and then she made out with him in front of all of my friends. I felt embarrassed, angry, miserable and heartbroken all at once. She could have been much more considerate with the way she choose to end things and reject me. She should of communicated with me how she was feeling with me and what she was looking for. She could of not lead me on during the entire weekend or even have gone to prom with me. She should of told me that she still liked her ex-boyfriend and shouldn’t of spent a weekend with me at a house on the beach with my friends. She rejected me with her actions, not her words, which made it even worse. (3800)”

A lot of the rejection stories made me feel more empathetic toward what many men have to go through. I think that being a female who has never had to put herself in a place where there is the potential for rejection from the opposite sex, I forget to think about how difficult it must be for some men. I chose this specific example because the girl in this example cheated on her boyfriend. Although men tend to cheat more than women, women do still cheat. However, I was appalled at how this girl cheated on her boyfriend while knowing he was there (9031).

I’ll admit that I notice girls’ physical appearances when I meet them. However it takes much more than a girl’s looks for me to actually like her. I’m attracted to girls who are sweet, caring, compassionate and honest. I like girls who are all around good people and who treat others, be they male or female, with respect and dignity. Though I notice girls’ appearances, I’m by no means a shallow guy. Two things that typically catch my attention more than looks are eye contact and a genuine smile. (7737)

I felt that this comment was written very well. It is a breath of fresh air to know that some men are interested in women for more than their appearance. I think women worry so much about their appearance, especially when it comes to attempting to attract men, which puts a great deal of pressure on them. I think this response eases that pressure in a way, and if more women knew men thought this way, they might not be so stressed about the way they look (3886).

“The girl I asked out rejected me by telling me that she was flattered and attracted to me, but she was seeing someone at the time. I appreciated her answer being clear and concise, but in addition to being secure with herself, the tone she used was very casual which did not make the situation awkward.” (2618)—It’s important for women to speak to men in a way that makes them feel good especially in situations that can be awkward or difficult, and it’s important that men appreciate that as well.

“I would first make sure she felt comfortable around me, if she doesn’t feel comfortable and safe then she isn’t going to want to be intimate with me. I would take things slow with her if we began to get intimate to show her that I don’t just care about having sex. I believe that influencing a women to become intimate with me isn’t something that is done verbally, but through my behavior and actions toward her. Making constant eye contact is important and making her feel safe in your arms. Then as we proceeded to go further sexually I would ask her if she is okay and feels comfortable, communicating with a woman is vital.” I am very appreciative of this comment. As a woman who has had trouble in the past with men who are sexually aggressive, it is nice to know that there are men out there who do understand that communication is key. I love the fact that you specifically reference a woman’s safety. A woman should always feel comfortable and be in full control when it comes to advancing physically. (5659)


“For a friends birthday we were having a party and my female friends took it upon themselves to plan it all take care of food and cake and stuff and told me just go get the alcohol. There was no discussion or even asking if I wanted to do something else they just gave me the easy thing they though I wouldn’t mess up despite it being for my closest friend. (6163)”
This evoked empathy in me because I am definitely guilty of doing this same thing and this comment made me feel bad for all of the times that I have done that. I have definitely assumed that a guy friend would want to just get the alcohol or something easy instead of doing the food or something more difficult and a conversation definitely should have been had. Thank you for pointing this out to me. (9535)



“After my high school prom, I rented a house with my prom date and all of my friends. My prom date invited her ex-boyfriend to our party, which made me a bit upset but she told me they were just good friends. He showed up and I did my best to be kind to him but he was all over my prom date. I got very upset and went to the backyard to cool off. After hanging out in the backyard for awhile I walked into the house and could not find my prom date. I went outside to the front stoop and I saw my prom date and her ex-boyfriend making out. I had never felt more rejected in my entire life. She rejected me in the worst way possible and clearly still had feelings for her ex. I had liked this girl for almost three years but we had never found a way to make it work. I finally thought things were going well because we had a great time at prom. The way she rejected me was beyond inconsiderate. She lead me on and didn’t communicate with me how she was feeling at all. I realized she had invited her ex-boyfriend to the party because she still had feelings for him and then she made out with him in front of all of my friends. I felt embarrassed, angry, miserable and heartbroken all at once. She could have been much more considerate with the way she choose to end things and reject me. She should of communicated with me how she was feeling with me and what she was looking for. She could of not lead me on during the entire weekend or even have gone to prom with me. She should of told me that she still liked her ex-boyfriend and shouldn’t of spent a weekend with me at a house on the beach with my friends. She rejected me with her actions, not her words, which made it even worse. (3800)”

Reading this was a perfect example of how women are not always amazing with their emotions either. This was such a horrible situation to be in and it would not have mattered gender wise who rejected who, it would have been a mean thing to do to anyone. I think sometimes women do assume men are emotionally vacant, but this is not the case, this young girl either made that mistake and assumed her date would not care, or did not care even if her date did care, either way it was a very cruel thing to do. (0735)

“I think the biggest strength and weakness of women is that they are in tune with their emotions. For one I think it is admirable that they are able to do it so easily. It makes developing relationships with people ten times easier and no one can beat a woman when it comes to understanding others' problems even without asking them. I think men really need to understand sympathy and empathy much better, and that stuff comes naturally to women in general. However, I think it becomes really dangerous when you let emotions influence your decision making. Emotions usually lead to impulsive decision making without having all the facts. To vaguely cover a current situation I'm in: "Yeah you're angry I get that, and in all reality you have the right to be and should be angry, but there is absolutely no rational reason why your anger should also include me. Just because I'm related to the problem doesn't mean I am the cause of the problem, and thus you can justify not talking to me. If you just calmed down for a second and considered everything in account here you could see that your anger is displaced." (1151)”
I completely agree with this statement and think it is a good representation of the strengths and weaknesses of women. This man took the time to really think about his word choice and included a personal problem that he is currently having. I know that I have been the woman in that conversation many times, taking my frustration out on my boyfriend when I am really just upset by the situation. (8237)

“3.It is constantly misunderstood how damaging it is to be a boy growing up in our culture. Sure in a man’s world we have it made but the pressure of our culture of reclusion to be a “man” is, from a psychological perspective, one of the single worst steps a human can take for mental health. Women clearly have the short end of the stick in the outer society but their culture of interpersonal connection is a huge defense network considering men are discouraged from investing in people emotionally. Historically women have filled the positive role as family care and the negative role as disposable objects of sex. Men filled the positive role as providers and the negative role as disposable objects of war. Sexism is at play on both sides of the field generally as a tool to separate the rich from the poor not to separate the men from the women. I’m not arguing which side is more of a struggle but I do believe that the male culture of independence is too much for a young boy to shoulder and yet we are forever expected to be the solid rock, the stability, to be unbroken when really we just hide our cracks. That being said, Kintsugi is the most beautiful artwork on the planet. (6275)”

I thought this was really well written and brought up an idea/issue that I hadn’t really thought about before. I also think it was very honest and sincere which made me really stop and have empathy for males. Often people only talk about what it’s like growing up as a women and people don’t stop to think about what it must be like for males and how it effects them. (9222)

“One situation where I felt a woman treated me unfairly was when I was trying to become friends with someone in one of my classes. I didn’t know anyone in the class, so I was trying to meet new people. There was this girl who usually sat next to me and I one day I tried to have a conversation with her. We made small talk for a bit and moving forward we have casual conversations here and there. When a test was approaching I decided I would ask her if she wanted to study together. She seemed reluctant to do so, but eventually she agreed. I then asked for her number so I could more easily contact her as we prepared to study. However, she seemed to get upset that I would ask such a thing and said she wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I was not at all looking for a relationship with her, but instead I was just trying to make a friend. She assumed that just because I was a guy and asked for her number that I may have had alterior motives and that I was just trying to get close to her so I could develop a romantic relationship with her.”
This is just one example of something that I think happens all the time. And as a woman I don’t balme the girl in this story for being cautious. Honestly, all it takes is one guy once in her life that ruined it for every one and unfortunately every girl I know including my self have a story like that. I think young girls can be especially naïve and when that trust is broken, or if a man crosses a line, girls tend to assume that all other men will do the same. But, this example does bring out empathy in me, because I am sure that this guy really was just trying to make friends which can be really hard, I’ve been there. It is just sad that woman have to be on the defense all the time, missing opportunities at friendship. (8084)


2. ...disturbed and/or upset you, and why?


I like that women are beautiful, gentle, empathetic, and passive. I dislike when women can be unstable, moody, judgmental, and indirect when dealing with conflicts. (2908)

The fact that men believe women are unstable is really irritating; Yes women are more emotional, however, this does not make us unstable. Also the idea that women are indirect when dealing with conflicts is quite wrong. In fact, women are great communicators and in my personal experiences when conflicts arise women are more likely to handle these issues head on. Women in general communicate and elaborate their feelings better (0224).

“One thing that I have found is how common it is for women to be upset, irritable, or a mix of many emotions before their period. I always thought when I was younger that it was just a stereotype that men use to poke fun at women, but I have really seen it to be quite accurate. I have observed on many occasions girls, who are usually sweet and kind, to be actually snappy and mean. This observation comes before I even know that they are coming close to the start of their period too. This is definitely something that women experience and not men because women have such a high rush of hormones during this period that leads to the changes in mood.”

Males think automatically females are on their period if a girl doesn’t do exactly what they want them to do or thought they would do and just assume its “period time”. It’s upsetting to already have so many standards and sterotypes to live up to and then throw in a monthly item that can never go away until much later in life by itself. (4610)

“Weaknesses of women are that they read too much into things. They complain and gossip too much. (5835)”
This comment honestly disturbed me because women don’t just gossip or complain all the time. My friends and I personally don’t gossip because we feel that it’s wrong to talk about information that most of the time aren’t true. The reason why males might thing we complain too much is because we women try very hard to be the best or act in the most perfect way possible. In instances where we complain to men of their actions, most likely it’s just us trying to give opinions on how you should change and improve your behavior. (2590)



2. ...disturbed and/or upset you, and why?

4. The physical characteristics that attract me to a female would be their breasts, butt, waist, face, and eyes. As far as personality goes humor and self confidence and being low key are very important. I would say the most important factor would be, prior to meeting physical attributes, after meeting demeanor and mannerism around me. (6163)

Female Response: So the first sentence is an obvious statement that most men make about intial attraction to women. But what I was bothered by was the “being low key” part. What I get from the low key part is that this male wants a woman that he can boss around and won’t challenge him. A relationship should be about balance and if a female is “low key” then the male would dominate the relationship. (0226)
  1. 1. Disturbed or upset you and why?

“I like that females have a motherly caring characteristic. Females are very loving and passionate about things important to them. I also like how organized and clean women are. I like how independent women are, they have a life of their own and pride themselves on their self-reliance. I enjoy the physical beauty of women. I also like how mature women are. I enjoy how a woman can make a man feel they can let their guard down around her, become more open and emotional with her. I dislike how insecure women are about themselves, including their physical features. I also dislike how attention hungry women are. They thrive on the attention they receive from the opposite sex and are seeking it constantly. If a woman doesn’t receive enough attention they get mad and begin to feel insecure. I dislike how flirtatious most women are. Women flirt with men to receive attention, not because they are genuinely interested in the guy. They flirt because they like to feel in control of the situation and they enjoy leading men on. I dislike how controlling women are, they always feel the need to be in control of every situation and of other peoples lives. I dislike how emotional women get, they are not good at controlling their emotions. One of the things I hate most about women are how gossipy they are with each other. Women’s conversations with each other usually consist of gossiping about others and sometimes. I dislike how judgmental women are, they formulate ideas and beliefs based off of little to no information on the other person. (3800)”
I found this response to be upsetting because they are misinterpreting a women’s friendliness as flirtatious or thirsting for attention. Also, they said that women flirt because they like to feel in control of the situation and they enjoy leading men on. I disagree with this because I don’t think flirting always makes a girl feel in control of the situation. In a lot of circumstances, women are nervous while flirting and thoughts are racing through their head if the guy is interested, thinks shes funny, thinks shes cute, etc…it is not like flirting equates to confidence or power. He mentions women “thriving” on attention and getting angry and insecure if they don’t receive enough attention, and their sole purpose for flirting is to get attention without recognizing the fact that women will flirt with a guy she’s interested in to get to know him, to compliment him, to make him feel good about himself and to see if the interest is reciprocated—not solely as a self serving cry for attention. I was pretty disturbed by his comment as well because he said that women enjoy leading men on. While this may be true of some women, the majority of the time our good natured attitudes and friendliness is mistaken for more and guys fantasize about further endeavors and then when we reject their passes they assume that we were just leading them on. (9994).

"3. Almost everything. Women can sometimes be more sexist than men but at the same time it makes sense. At the end of the day, male privilege protects me from being too profoundly impacted by female sexism against males. (6438)"
I was offended reading this post. You can't complain about women being sexist, then boast about the privileges of patriarchy. This is such a hypocritical statement. You claim that you are being discriminated against because of your maleness, yet you support and brag about a system that oppresses other people. If you are so content in your privilege as a male, a little sexism from the women of society shouldn't bother you (6012).
“I dislike that unless I prove otherwise, most females instantly consider me an emotionless meathead that only cares about eating, sleeping and fucking. I envision from a female's perspective that males are cave-men, who talk in the 3rd person and wander around all day looking for someone to have sex with. It’s like with every new female that I meet, I instantly start out as a womanizer with no dignity or decency and I must prove otherwise. Only after I have proven that I am not a sex crazed animal (varies depending on female, can take 5 minutes or months) do I feel like I receive a mutual decency and I'm treated like a human been.”
I find this upsetting because I would not want our preconceived notions as women to hurt the feelings of males who may not fit that script. I believe that we may do this in order to protect ourselves from being hurt emotionally or because we have been conditioned from the past to believe that all men want is sex. (7982)
"What is the one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about your own sex?:Almost everything. Women can sometimes be more sexist than men but at the same time it makes sense. At the end of the day, male privilege protects me from being too profoundly impacted by female sexism against males. (6438)"
-First of all I do not believe that women misunderstand “almost everything” about men. Yes, men can be difficult to understand at times, but we are not inept in dealing with men. The comment that women are more sexist than men is as hilarious as it is equally upsetting. It is ironic to mention male privilege in the same sentence as female sexism against males. How can you say that women are more sexist, when you are acknowledging that we live in a patriarchal world where the female voice holds less power? The idea of male privilege basically encompasses the idea that women are being viewed as inferior and are the ones suffering from sexist comments and actions. (1481)

“My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis. (5768)”

This comment really disturbed me because of how the case was handled. No matter who is raped, whether it be male or female, it’s still rape. The fact that the guy’s testimony wasn’t taken as seriously because there was a possibility that he had an erect penis is unfathomable. No consent means no sex (7643).

1. One thing that I have found is how common it is for women to be upset, irritable, or a mix of many emotions before their period. I always thought when I was younger that it was just a stereotype that men use to poke fun at women, but I have really seen it to be quite accurate. I have observed on many occasions girls, who are usually sweet and kind, to be actually snappy and mean. This observation comes before I even know that they are coming close to the start of their period too. This is definitely something that women experience and not men because women have such a high rush of hormones during this period that leads to the changes in mood. (3297)”
This upset me because women can’t really regulate our emotions leading up to and during our periods. It’s true that our increased hormone levels can make us moody or irritable but it isn’t something we can control. This comment isn’t necessarily saying how men dislike when women are on their periods and get more emotional but there are some men who do that from time to time. It’s frustrating because they don’t understand what it’s like to be on that emotional rollercoaster and how hard it is to regulate our emotions during our time of the month. (8003)

2. “I believe that the one thing that women most misunderstand about men is that the actions and flaws that they complain about us having are actually, whether they realize it or not, reinforced by how they treat and interact with us. Women complain about men being shallow and insensitive and treating them badly. However women are just as shallow in their dealings with men, and they are the ones who put up with and who are even attracted to men who treat them in these ways. If women didn’t date assholes then maybe they wouldn’t complain about their boyfriends treating them like dirt. I’m not saying that women who make mistakes like this deserve men treating them the way they do. No one deserves to be treated badly. All I’m saying is that women have a lot more control over the situation than they think.”

This statement upset me because it tried to blame women for the bad actions of their boyfriends. It is not the woman’s fault that her boyfriend treats her like dirt, it is simply his fault for being unkind. Often a woman may enter a relationship with a man unknowing that he is not kind. He may seem like a nice guy at first and later on he starts to treat her poorly. At this point she may already be deeply attached to him, making it harder for her to leave. In terms of abusive relationships, there are many factors that keep women from leaving. They may feel trapped or psychologically manipulated. It is unfair to blame women for this. Part of the problem with domestic abuse is that not enough of the blame is put on the partner who is abusive. (8778)

  1. a. I like that they pay attention to their looks and are therefore pleasing to look at. This makes it fun for me to talk to/interact with them and conveys the message that they want males to feel attracted/drawn to them, since they pay attention to their looks mainly for males (at least that is what I think the main reason behind that is), and as most people, male or female, would agree, feeling wanted is a great feeling. I also like that females tend to seem like they enjoy being unassertive when it comes to their interactions with males (and this is most probably a product of society and how females and males are raised). I dislike that females tend to be more dramatic compared to males in the sense that a behavior or a pattern of behavior that might not even occur to a male to be offensive or disrespectful in any way can be seen (or not truly perceived that way but held) by a female as extremely offensive or disrespectful. This often times lead to the female accusing the male of being “emotionally inept”, insensitive, or deficiencies of that nature, whereas the male might view the bigger part of the problem to lie with the female and her extreme (seemingly to the male) emotional sensitivity (I think there definitely is a biological component to such differences in emotional intensities). I also do not like that females gossip (publicly or privately) more than males do. It turns into belittling others for their own pleasure and is an example “schadenfreude”. (5966)

1. b. To be quite honest, the first half of this comment confused and upset me. To be more specific, I did not agree with the comments made about reasons behind why females choose to put effort into their appearances and the unassertive aspect. I find the reasoning behind the enjoyment of female looks to be quite upsetting, because it gives off the idea that females would not be fun to talk to if they were not good looking. I agree with the idea that it is nice to be wanted and generally people do want to feel wanted but I would disagree that women dress for men because they want to be wanted or acknowledged by them. I think especially in this era, women dress for themselves and to impress other women. And to comment on the unassertive part, I would like further elaboration on this. I think everyone is entitled to their own opinions of what qualities they like in potential partners, but I am just confused about the attractiveness of this quality. Do you like that often times women are raised to be subordinate to men? Or do you like the fact that they this means they are quiet and won’t talk back/question anything you say? Do men like this because it means they don’t need proof of why they are right or shouldn’t be questioned? Does this say more about some male’s egos than it does about the passivity of women? (1524)

“I like how different women are then men. They think differently by looking at the world with a more empathetic view and motivate us to be better. I also think women are objectively better looking. I dislike that they complain about problems but don’t ever feel the need to solve them. Any suggestion on what to do usually warrants a negative response. I also feel as though they blow a lot of situations out of proportion by over analyzing them. (4073)”
  1. a. While this assignment did force students to exam and apply generalizations to the opposite sex, this generalization upset me. Specifically, the line that said they” complain about problems but don’t attempt to solve them.” I find the very opposite to be true. I think women are more inclined to solve problems that they face, and that they generally do so in a more logical and rational way, while men seem to act on impulse or simply ignore the problem. For example, I have seen several guy friends get in verbal or physical fights over small issues in bar settings, while I’ve seen girls simply talk the problem out. This belief held by this person, suggests that women are helpless and passive and do not know how to work out problems for themselves (6700).



2. “My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis.”

This comment really disturbed me because of the lack of help that this man was able to get. Rape is rape, and it is disgusting that someone could get away with something like this. Just because it seems more common for a man to rape a woman, it is still possible for a woman to rape a man. It is disgusting to me because justice is not being served. This situation is something that I think is another unrealistic standard in our society: men are always the rapist, while women are always the victims. Its gross that a woman can fake being raped in order to get money, while a man who actually was raped cannot even get the justice he deserves. (1904)

2. I like that the opposite sex can bear children and propagate the existence of the human race? There are very few things that attribute specifically to a sex or gender. Someone male can easily be a bitch as much as someone female can be a dick. (6438)
This upset me because there is a lot more to women than their ability to bear children. Even if we were to solely talk about cis women, there are cis women who cannot have children- does this comment then imply that the writer does not like women who cannot bear children? What about transgender women? To limit a woman simply to their anatomy and their ability to have children is very dehumanizing. (0974)

“2. I like that the opposite sex allows you to do certain things that would otherwise be considered homosexual by my peers. For instance, drinking some alcoholic beverages without getting some negative remarks from my friends. I know that if I were to go out with some friends and order a Strawberry Daiquiri at least one of them will comment how gay I am. While this may be a stupid example, I feel that I am barricaded from many other things such as yoga, clothing, and even food choices.
I dislike that unless I prove otherwise, most females instantly consider me an emotionless meathead that only cares about eating, sleeping and fucking. I envision from a female's perspective that males are cave-men, who talk in the 3rd person and wander around all day looking for someone to have sex with. It’s like with every new female that I meet, I instantly start out as a womanizer with no dignity or decency and I must prove otherwise. Only after I have proven that I am not a sex crazed animal (varies depending on female, can take 5 minutes or months) do I feel like I receive a mutual decency and I'm treated like a human been. (5768)”
I disliked that this post stated that most females instantly consider him to be an emotionless person that only cares about sleeping with woman. I know personally and from many of my friends point of views that the men we view like that upon instantly meeting them are the men who give us a reason to think that. I guess what really upset me is that woman do not treat men like human beings when we believe they are like this. That is also not accurate in my experience. I think that woman treat everyone like human beings but may not give you the attention you want and need if they have reason to believe you are like that due to the fact they have their own emotional walls and boundaries up in fearing of getting hurt. I also believe that part of the reason men are viewed this way is because they tend to beat around the bush and not be upfront with their intentions from the beginning. I think if you do just want to sleep with a woman tell her, women have more respect for guys who do that and who knows maybe they want the same thing. However, when guys act like they do not know what they want and lead girls on when in reality most males know what their intentions are very early on, this leads to hurt feelings. I don’t view every guy as wanting sex but the guys who are open and honest about it tend to gain my respect. I also appreciate that when a guy is not like that, that he expresses that to me. I appreciate when a man does not take actions to raise those red flags. (6955)

“I can think of many instances were I’ve been treated nicely by the opposite sex just because of my gender. Its usually for lifting things or fixing things.”

This is so sexist! It seriously made me curse out whoever this guy is. And not just him, plenty of the comments under the same question had to do with guys complaining they get treated well only when it comes to manual labor. It is 2016 and I know that there are more women out there like me that do manual labor on their own such as lifting heavy boxes and the like. (9398)


“7. This one time when I was with my group of friends, the girls in the group were preparing food and I wanted to help out. They appreciated my gesture very much and I know it is because the guys in the group and guys in general do not deal with the preparation of food and things of that nature especially when girls are present. (5835)”
I do agree that this is a particular issue in our society that continues to this day. Offering assistance in the kitchen at a guest’s house is not emasculating; it’s considerate and helpful. I wish everyone could think this way. (2735)

“I dislike that unless I prove otherwise, most females instantly consider me an emotionless meathead that only cares about eating, sleeping and fucking. I envision from a female's perspective that males are cave-men, who talk in the 3rd person and wander around all day looking for someone to have sex with. It’s like with every new female that I meet, I instantly start out as a womanizer with no dignity or decency and I must prove otherwise. Only after I have proven that I am not a sex crazed animal (varies depending on female, can take 5 minutes or months) do I feel like I receive a mutual decency and I'm treated like a human been. (5768)”
This comment concerned me because I think this is a pretty unfair assessment of women. Personally I don’t approach all men thinking they are pigs. If this guy thinks that women are out to get him, it’s probably because he acts and presents himself a certain way to deserve it. (2735)

“I also dislike how materialistic they can be. I especially dislike how women can be extreme feminists and act paranoid and project chauvinistic qualities on men simply because that’s what they expect or that’s how certain men have treated them. (7737)”
I’m deeply concerned and sorry that this man has experienced feminism in this way. If so called “feminists” are being aggressive and judgmental of him as a male without any reason for anger or hatred besides his sex identity, then this is not true feminism. Feminism is the equality of the sexes, which certainly relies on the male support (how else could women have had the right to vote in 1920…we needed men to pass the law to do it!) (2735)

"It seems as though women drop very subtle hints as to whether they consider you a friend or as something more. Most of which are ambiguous and difficult to decipher. I feel as though I must make the move and interpret them correctly as males must be viewed as the aggressor in pursuing a relationship. It’s hard because you don’t want to overstep your boundaries and make things awkward. I think women don’t ever want to be the aggressor and so must send out subtle hints to not appear that way. They also tend to date assholes."

The reason this disturbed me was the conception that women tend to date ass holes. This is absolutely not the case, and most women would be turned away if they thought a man was a jerk or an “ass hole”. I think what they are missing is that we like confidence, and men who can say what they are thinking. I think he is correct about the subtle hints; however I believe that is something many men do as well. In general, though, men are less “subtle” with their hints. If he feels that he is getting mixed signals from women, it is probably because he is not experienced in communicating with women and feels high anxiety about it. (7316)

The opposite sex seems clueless about...“blowjobs.” (6438)
I think this is completely insensitive. You are saying we are clueless about a specific sexual activity, while a previous statement written on this page said we should respect ourselves by reducing sexual activity. This is an example of males contradicting themselves about women’s sexual behavior. How are we supposed to be good at something if we also shouldn’t be doing it that often? I also believe that if you genuinely like a girl, you would keep hooking up with her and develop your relationship with her. Overtime, you could talk to each other about what you like and dislike during sex. (7100)

“My senior year of Highschool, my friend’s girlfriend got into a huge fight with her friend because their prom dresses were too similar. While I assumed such a minor dilemma wouldn’t really be an issue, it resulted in our 40 person prom group splitting apart because each girl refused to be seen with each other. They each created their own new prom groups and tried to recruit as many couples from the original group as possible. As one could imagine, this created even more drama as now girls who weren't at all involved in this dress dispute were now forced to choose between these competing groups. Throughout all this chaos that ruined friendships, me and the majority of my male friends are looking to one another in awe. None of us really cared for the situation and rather were going to just go with whatever group our dates felt most comfortable with. My guess for all of this would be the vast amounts of estrogen in a female's body during puberty caused for a drastic and emotional thought process. (5768)”

As a female, this comment really disturbed me. Ironically, it wasn’t the mens reactions that surprised me. Instead, I am shocked at how ridiculous the girls were acting. Although I’ve been through puberty which has caused drastic and emotional thought processes, it never involved something as trivial as being upset over wearing the same outfit as someone else. I am embarrassed that men have to witness these kinds of things and even worse, attribute such childish behavior to hormones. I feel as if hormones were only partially responsible for this scenario; just a case of bratty high school girls. (7732)

"My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis. (5768)"
This comment is both incredibly upsetting and disturbing on various levels. Rape is a serious issue. It can happen to BOTH males and females. I wish people took that more seriously; unfortunately females are also capable of rape. Regardless of which sex committed the action, there should be the same level of attention and immediate action provided for the victim. In the end, it’s about the victim’s safety and the fact that this victim felt violated with a non-consensual act. It is not about the sex of the victim. (6138)
“ A situation that has been confusing to me, with the opposite sex, is when you are out with a female and they get offended or upset when you make a comment about another female or just look at another female. It makes me wonder if they are really that insecure about themselves that they have to be made to thought they are the only female in the universe the moment they are with you. The thought process which females have puzzles me. What could they possibly be thinking that they think they are not guilty of finding other people attractive, they are also just human. The only difference is they don’t say anything and may observe someone of the opposite sex more discretely. When it comes down to it all I can think of to explain this is that they would rather just not know what we really think and just want to know and see what makes them, feel secure. Personally I don’t mind a female looking at someone else or making a comment, this make me feel more trusting of them since they don’t feel the need to hide things.” (6163)
I don’t understand why this male is confused by the female’s reaction. It upsets me because the male does not understand that because he is commenting on another female, he is subconsciously judging her and comparing her to the female that is with him. Also, the fact that this male thinks that women are so insecure about themselves and that’s why they react the way they do is absurd. Males would get just as mad if the female commented on something about another male, but they do not want to admit it. Obviously the female does not think that she is the only female in the room, but why should her boyfriend/partner even look at other girls in front of her? A male has a right to look at other females in the room, but he should be subtle. (2835)

“1. My senior year of Highschool, my friend’s girlfriend got into a huge fight with her friend because their prom dresses were too similar. While I assumed such a minor dilemma wouldn’t really be an issue, it resulted in our 40 person prom group splitting apart because each girl refused to be seen with each other. They each created their own new prom groups and tried to recruit as many couples from the original group as possible. As one could imagine, this created even more drama as now girls who weren't at all involved in this dress dispute were now forced to choose between these competing groups. Throughout all this chaos that ruined friendships, me and the majority of my male friends are looking to one another in awe. None of us really cared for the situation and rather were going to just go with whatever group our dates felt most comfortable with. My guess for all of this would be the vast amounts of estrogen in a female's body during puberty caused for a drastic and emotional thought process. (5768)”
This is just plain embarrassing and gives us women a very bad image. This really upsets me because not only are these girls portraying us in such a bad light but because of the friendships ruined along the way. I suspect that this may come from this girl’s insecurity to look attractive and make sure her ‘investment’ in her boyfriend did not go to her friend but to be honest, I just see a very jealous girl who in the end because of her stupid argument revolving around her dress and her friend’s dress got way out of hand and made everyone’s lives a misery instead of a happy one at the prom. (1214)

“13. “blowjobs.” (6438)”
I find this very upsetting because as a young woman who has never really gone on dates before, it gives me further added pressure that in order to have a good relationship, I need to be good at this sexual activity. (1214)

“6. My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis. (5768)”
I have heard cases of male rape but usually they are only small in number. This is upsetting because rape is rape no matter the gender of the victim. Usually guys who do come out and say they were raped are either ridiculed or their cases not taken because the police do not know how to handle a male rape case. I suspect this may be because in popular culture, males are supposed to be the stronger ones who could take care of themselves to not let that kind of thing happen to them. I fear that there are many more guys out there who have been raped but never came forth because of this socialization of our culture resulting in this men to live with the emotional and psychological trauma of it all. (1214)

“I have a friend who may be the sweetest girl in the world. She is very smart and usually gives my friends, male and female, good advice about dating and relationships. However she has a propensity for falling for guys who are complete assholes and who treat her like shit. She currently likes this guy who a majority of our mutual friends feel is a douche bag. He is rude and inconsiderate not only to her but to us as well. The kicker is that this guy is not even particularly attractive. I think this just goes to show that even the best girls have a thing for arrogant, rude assholes. I just can’t comprehend why women are attracted to men who treat them so badly. “(7737)
This is something that I find to be true for some girls such as friends and myself at some point in our lives. While I do not know the exact answer myself, I think a lot of times the “asshole” males are more “popular” and “cool”, maybe even more aggressive too. Therefore some girls feel validated when he shows interest in her rather than a girl who they think might be prettier or more interesting than they find themselves to be. I find it disturbing that some women will let men treat them so badly, however I do not think even the best girls have a thing for arrogant, rude assholes as I have plenty of girlfriends that are sweet and kind individuals that have sweet and kind boyfriends. This is why I do think it comes down to a self-esteem and validation issue (5908).



Previous classes:
“The opposite sex seems to support equality of the sexes except when it comes to paying the check.” I don’t believe this to be true at all. I know a lot of independent women who are happy to support themselves, I’m one of them. Maybe that’s just the type of female this guy is attracting. I know when I was with my ex I supported myself, and even on or first date I made sure to help with the bill. The reason for my strong independence is because what if something was to happen and he wasn’t around. We were actually engaged and had planned the wedding, with invitations mailed and everything. Things ended up not working out and I was on my own again. Financially I was set; he wasn’t the person I turned to for money because I made my own. I know a lot of females who follow in my footsteps. To generalize this is wrong because the majority of women I’ve encountered paid their own way. (7302)


“I would ask her if she would like to come over my apartment after dinner. I’d show her my place and carry some conversation on the random items and posters in the rooms. In a larger break in the conversation, I’d continue deep and intent eye contact, lean in and kiss her. If things continued from there and she continued to respond well, we would move to the bedroom and continue what we were doing. If she says anything about how far she wants to go, I’d assure her that we’d only go as far as she would like to go (this way, she will feel comfortable and know I respect her, and with that it can lead to her wanting to do more). 3471”

This is so creepy! Maybe I am inexperienced with dating because I have a long-term boyfriend and have never been with anyone else, but this is what I would want to stay away from in the dating world. This man is blatantly saying he manipulates women into thinking they are safe and he is respectful when he is just using that as a way to get them to go further with him! It is repulsive. (8237)

I would ask her if she would like to come over my apartment after dinner. I’d show her my place and carry some conversation on the random items and posters in the rooms. In a larger break in the conversation, I’d continue deep and intent eye contact, lean in and kiss her. If things continued from there and she continued to respond well, we would move to the bedroom and continue what we were doing. If she says anything about how far she wants to go, I’d assure her that we’d only go as far as she would like to go (this way, she will feel comfortable and know I respect her, and with that it can lead to her wanting to do more).

This didn’t really disturb or upset me, but it definitely provoked some kind of uneasiness in me. Maybe it’s because it is so oddly specific that this seems like a routine thing. However, there’s not really a problem in having a routine I suppose. What troubles me is the whole “I’d assure her we’d only go as far as she would like to go so that she feels comfortable and can lead to her wanting to do more” aspect of it. It just seems manipulative, like he feels he holds all the power in what might ensue, and that her response is only a product of his calculated efforts. (2216)


“1.Females have a tendency to be very indecisive. I do not understand how females can stand to not make choices quickly. When asked over and over again what they think or how they feel it takes a while to finally get a straight answer. For females, it is very important how others think of them including their close friends and family. I think that holding high standards to others’ opinions is where this bazar habit has stemmed from. Many female friends of mine will go shopping and spend hours deciding whether or not to by a shirt, or dress, or a necklace and most of the time will walk away with neither option. 6867”
I found this to be a huge stereotype. I have never met a woman in an important situation who couldn’t be decisive, yes women don’t always know what they want to eat, or do for the day but for me that’s because I don’t feel like devoting the time and energy to evaluating it! Plus in the shopping example isn’t it better to think about a purchase to evaluate if you really need it or not? Isn’t that better then spending the money and realizing latter it wasn’t worth it? Plus making a choice fast doesn’t mean you made them well, men and women might have this different choice style for very biological and necessary reasons. I also think that men care just as much if not more about what others think, especially around their friends. For example women are okay crying in front of people because frankly we don’t care, men very much do! I really didn’t appreciate how stereotypical this comment was and how poorly thought out the arguments in it are. (5369)
thinks they need to get drunk in order to express their sexuality.” Yes it is true, that some women do need to be somewhat intoxicated when having to have a conversation with a man that will lead to a sexual relationship. However, some women are just trying to let their fun and inviting self out, because they are to stressed or emotional attached to someone else. Therefore, if they have the little bit of alcohol in their system, they will feel better and more confident about themselves. (4103).

#21. I feel best about the opposite sex when... “I am having sex with them(3637)”

This comment disturbed me more than it upset me. By writing this comment I feel like this male was objectifying women. Women are more than just a source of sexual pleasure, but yet this male seems ignorant to all the other things that a woman can provide a man such as emotional support and a family. Personally, I do not think that men should feel best about the opposite sex just because they are sleeping with them; males should feel best with females when a stronger connection (other than sexual connection) is built between the two sexes. (9295)

"I can never understand the abuse that girls tolerate from boyfriends and lovers on a consistent basis. Too frequently, especially in college, I hear stories from friends (or friends of friends) about how their boyfriend cheated on them again, or yelled at them again, or insulted them again. And they’ll cry, talk all night about how much it hurt them, and maybe even claim they’re going to leave the guy the next day. But they don’t. They stick with the jerks even after they’ve realized what kind of person they really are, all the while overlooking other guys in their life who would kill for the chance to treat them the way they should be treated. I’ve seen this too often in women, too infrequently in men, and with many different kinds of girls, for it to not be a function of gender. I think that women tend to try to see the good in men, while men are more likely to make quick judgments about what kind of girl a certain person is (party girl, good girl, datable, etc.) and not alter them. It may also be a result of lower self-esteem. At this stage of our lives, I think attractiveness is weighted too heavily in romantic decisions, while morality and character go by the wayside. The more intense emotions women feel as a result of sex may lead to the formation of a strong bond with someone, one that is difficult to break. Basically, most girls can do better than what they’ve got, they just don’t seem to know it. (3595)"
This comment upset me because I think that more girls will not tolerate abuse from boyfriends and lovers on a consistent basis. I'm not sure about who your friends (or friends of friends) are who endure that kind of treatment from their boyfriends, but most girls will not continue to be with someone who is treating them badly. I think that a lot of girls do go through a period in their life when they are insecure and do not know how they should be treated. But this phase changes when a girl realizes that she should not have these types of people in her life and should not put up with abusive lovers. Also, I have seen many men put up with girlfriends who cheat on them or do not treat them well. I think that it is more about the type of person the individual is, and not a general overview about how women in general are. (2992)

“In high school, I remember one instance when my girlfriend at the time got mad at me for being good friends with an ex-girlfriend, even though I explained thoroughly that my relationship with the ex was strictly platonic. What puzzled me about this was when I questioned her about her exes, my girlfriend got mad at me for bringing it up. I was somewhat confused by the expectations that she held concerning me and those she expected me to have of her. Also, I am absolutely dumbfounded about how easily any female I've interacted with is capable of overreacting emotionally to the smallest of events” I thought this was really inconsiderate of the male to say. An ex is someone you have past history, feelings, and relations with therefore unless it was a stupid two week relationship it’s impossible for it to be platonic. The feelings were once there, who’s to say they can’t be rekindled? (2431)

"I can never understand the abuse that girls tolerate from boyfriends and lovers on a consistent basis. Too frequently, especially in college, I hear stories from friends (or friends of friends) about how their boyfriend cheated on them again, or yelled at them again, or insulted them again. And they’ll cry, talk all night about how much it hurt them, and maybe even claim they’re going to leave the guy the next day. But they don’t. They stick with the jerks even after they’ve realized what kind of person they really are, all the while overlooking other guys in their life who would kill for the chance to treat them the way they should be treated. I’ve seen this too often in women, too infrequently in men, and with many different kinds of girls, for it to not be a function of gender. I think that women tend to try to see the good in men, while men are more likely to make quick judgments about what kind of girl a certain person is (party girl, good girl, datable, etc.) and not alter them. It may also be a result of lower self-esteem. At this stage of our lives, I think attractiveness is weighted too heavily in romantic decisions, while morality and character go by the wayside. The more intense emotions women feel as a result of sex may lead to the formation of a strong bond with someone, one that is difficult to break. Basically, most girls can do better than what they’ve got, they just don’t seem to know it. (3595)"
This comment upset me because I think that more girls will not tolerate abuse from boyfriends and lovers on a consistent basis. I'm not sure about who your friends (or friends of friends) are who endure that kind of treatment from their boyfriends, but most girls will not continue to be with someone who is treating them badly. I think that a lot of girls do go through a period in their life when they are insecure and do not know how they should be treated. But this phase changes when a girl realizes that she should not have these types of people in her life and should not put up with abusive lovers. Also, I have seen many men put up with girlfriends who cheat on them or do not treat them well. I think that it is more about the type of person the individual is, and not a general overview about how women in general are. (2992)




“Recently I was at a party where a girl walked up to me and said hi to me. I did not remember if I had met her before but she clearly knew my name so I said “hey have we met before?” She proceeded to scream at me and told me I was in one of her classes and that I should know who she was. She started yelling so loudly that many of the people in the room began to stare at her. I apologized and told her that I felt bad. She refused to listen to anything I had to say as she continued to yell at me calling me an asshole and douche bag. She finally walked away, saying she wished she had never met me.”

This is upsetting to hear because it is women’s reactions such as these that fuel negative stereotypes of women being “bitchy” or “over-emotional”. Her reaction was ridiculous. Remembering faces and names are not everyone’s strong suit. (3066)




"I have a friend who may be the sweetest girl in the world. She is very smart and usually gives my friends, male and female, good advice about dating and relationships. However she has a propensity for falling for guys who are complete assholes and who treat her like shit. She currently likes this guy who a majority of our mutual friends feel is a douche bag. He is rude and inconsiderate not only to her but to us as well. The kicker is that this guy is not even particularly attractive. I think this just goes to show that even the best girls have a thing for arrogant, rude assholes. I just can’t comprehend why women are attracted to men who treat them so badly."
This evoked upset feelings in me because I am that person. I feel like this person could honestly be talking about me. I have always been the best friend and I always fall for assholes that all my friends don't like. There is just something intriguing about a “bad boy.” The only difference is that I also like the nice guys; I just am more attracted to the assholes. (9232)

“The opposite sex seems to believe that all men care/think about is sex. Yes it is true that men very often think of sex, but that is not the most important thing to men nor is that all men think about. I believe that women think about sex just as much as men do but women either do not like to admit it, do not know how to handle their feelings or fail to act upon their emotions/urges to protect their reputations/image.”
I found this comment disturbing because we learned in class that men do care/think about sex more, mainly due to evolution. Although they may not intend to or want to think about sex all the time, men have a fast reproductive rate and greater reproductive variance, so the amount they can reproduce is only hindered by how many women they can get to reproduce with them. Women must spend much more time investing in their offspring after reproduction has occurred, so they can not be as sexually indiscriminant as males.(3022)


"In high school, I remember one instance when my girlfriend at the time got mad at me for being good friends with an ex-girlfriend, even though I explained thoroughly that my relationship with the ex was strictly platonic. What puzzled me about this was when I questioned her about her exes, my girlfriend got mad at me for bringing it up. I was somewhat confused by the expectations that she held concerning me and those she expected me to have of her. Also, I am absolutely dumfounded about how easily any female I've interacted with is capable of overreacting emotionally to the smallest of events."
I think that most girls would be upset by their boyfriend remaining good friends with his ex. It's not a small thing to be upset about, knowing that when exes are good friends, it is sometimes the case that feelings may arise once again between the two,or never fully go away. Girls tend to forget about their exes when in a relationship with a new guy (from what I have experienced) and want to only be with that person, so it's annoying when guys remain such good friends with their exes. It's especially annoying when guys know that this upsets girls but they do it anyway. (8389)
“In high school, I remember one instance when my girlfriend at the time got mad at me for being good friends with an ex-girlfriend, even though I explained thoroughly that my relationship with the ex was strictly platonic. What puzzled me about this was when I questioned her about her exes, my girlfriend got mad at me for bringing it up. I was somewhat confused by the expectations that she held concerning me and those she expected me to have of her. Also, I am absolutely dumbfounded about how easily any female I've interacted with is capable of overreacting emotionally to the smallest of events” I thought this was really inconsiderate of the male to say. An ex is someone you have past history, feelings, and relations with therefore unless it was a stupid two week relationship it’s impossible for it to be platonic. The feelings were once there, who’s to say they can’t be rekindled? (2431)




“I especially dislike how women can be extreme feminists and act paranoid and project chauvinistic qualities on men simply because that’s what they expect or that’s how certain men have treated them.”
The part about women being feminists and expecting chauvinism did not upset me so much as it disturbed me. I think there is such a negative stigma tied to being a feminist in our society but when I come across comments like this I am still left in shock. Also, men should treat women with respect regardless of whether women have been treated well or poorly in past relationships, and regardless if the man is trying to establish a sexual relationship, friendship, or just a stranger you come across walking down the street. I believe respect and equality are what feminism and chauvinism are both about at the root of it all (7437).


Also, I am absolutely dumbfounded about how easily any female I've interacted with is capable of overreacting emotionally to the smallest of events.”
This was upsetting merely because of the huge generalization of the comment. Perhaps it is also due in part to the generalized male inability to think before they speak. Either way there is more than one simple reason for discrepancies in female/male interactions. A solution would be to remember that our own viewpoints are subjective and not to simply make generalizations. (6503)

“I would be very flirty and begin getting closer to her. I would try and make her comfortable to be around me by making her laugh. I would also observe how she is responding and then play on her emotions. (3617)”

This was said after being asked what he would do if he were on a date with a woman with whom he wanted to become physically intimate with. The first part of this answer is perfectly fine. It is very important for you to ensure that she is comfortable around you. Making her laugh is a great way to do this. However, I had trouble with the last part of the answer, “then play on her emotions”. There is a chance that it was just a poor choice of words. The word “play” in regards to her emotions gives off a very negative connotation to me. What it looks like, to me anyways is that her emotions are something that can be manipulated and played with in order for men to get what they want (in this case, physical intimacy). It upsets me when men take advantage of women’s emotional attributes in order to get what they want. Saying you want to “play” on her emotions only makes it look like you are willing to say anything she wants to hear to get what you want, regardless of whether or not you mean it. And that is not okay. (3651)

“I am not a pretentious person , but I cant think of a time where I have ever got rejected. I am a very confident man, so I can easily walk up to a girl and talk to her. If they are single I never get rejected. I guess the only rejection I face is when they tell me they have a boyfriend, but that doesn't usually stop them from exchanging contacts with me. However I have been broken up with and this is mostly because my inabilty to not take them for granted. This happend with a couple of girls and it happend through a text message. Honestly, I didn't really care, so I guess that was the problem in the first place. Some might say that breaking up through text is rude, but it gets the job done. I don't want to seem like an emotionless person , but I dont get too sad over women.”
This male is a bit pretentious and represents the stereotypes I hold for men. He is overconfident and seems to believe that women “owe” him something. He obviously shows no concern for the sadness he may cause women. This response also represents a male's desire to copulate at this age as opposed to purse a long-term relationship. (9519)

“I just got out of a very confusing relationship. The most puzzling thing about it is that what I would say would be taken out of context. I would feel that I was being very upfront and clear with my intentions as well as my thoughts on the relationship. I feel that the female and females in general may bring too much emotion into relationships. Of course passion and emotion is necessary for any relationship to function, but too much emotion may cause problems to arise.”
This upset me because in my most recent relationship which ended, I felt like I could not speak up in fear that anything I would say would be turned against me at a certain point. I know this quote recognizes females as highly emotional, but I feel that men do the same and that it is just not recognized. I feel that when men act out and get moody or seem “bipolar” that’s is their version of being emotional and the fact that it is always passed on to women is very frustrating. (5602)
  1. 1. “It seems as though women drop very subtle hints as to whether they consider you a friend or as something more. Most of which are ambiguous and difficult to decipher. I feel as though I must make the move and interpret them correctly as males must be viewed as the aggressor in pursuing a relationship. It’s hard because you don’t want to overstep your boundaries and make things awkward. I think women don’t ever want to be the aggressor and so must send out subtle hints to not appear that way. They also tend to date assholes.”
I think women tend to date ‘assholes’ because they’re the ones who are actively pursuing us and going out of their way to be charismatic and interested, at least in the beginning. Women fundamentally desire to feel wanted, so the best way for men to show us that we’re special and worth their time is by putting in effort to ask us out and be forward. 8447


Being romantic is something that the opposite sex...
Demands of men while not necessarily putting in an equal amount of effort. (7737)”

This response stood out to me as particularly upsetting because men and women often have differing views on what “romance” is and it can commonly lead to conflict. Men tend to assume that a woman will demand them to buy her dozens of roses, take long walks on the beach, and the whole shebang Romance does not always mean an extravagant night out. Men fail to realize that romance can also be shown in little things. If a girl cooks dinner for you, cleans up your room, or brings you soup when you're sick then those are all examples of romance as well. Girls can be capable of planning a lavish date night too. I don't mean to call out this particular response in a negative way, but I am suggesting some guys take notice of the little romantic things too. (3742)

A few years ago, I asked the sister of one of my friends to hang out to watch a movie or something like that and got rejected, although she was really nice about it. She said that she did not want to go because she did not know me and that she was “busy.” I felt somewhat down because of it, but it did not really affect me that much. She could have been nicer by leaving out the part about her being “busy.” (0383)

This upsets me because I do not think this guy is seeing the reason why he was rejected. I have been put in this situation before and it is the most awkward thing ever. He has to realize that it is her brother that you are friends with and she would not want to compromise it. I think that by her saying she was “busy” was an immature way to go about it and she should have been more upfront about it, I just think he should acknowledge this point also. (2473)

"I like how different women are then men. They think differently by looking at the world with a more empathetic view and motivate us to be better. I also think women are objectively better looking. I dislike that they complain about problems but don’t ever feel the need to solve them. Any suggestion on what to do usually warrants a negative response. I also feel as though they blow a lot of situations out of proportion by over analyzing them. (4073)"

It always disturbs me when men think that women over analyze situations. In my opinion, women just have a better way of communicating and have a thicker corpus callosum which could possibly allow them to communicate and verbalize their emotions better than men. This is a biological difference that women have more of and men lack in. In this sense, it wouldn’t be over-analyzing on the woman’s part, it would be under-analyzing on the man’s part. (0516)


“I would be very flirty and begin getting closer to her. I would try and make her comfortable to be around me by making her laugh. I would also observe how she is responding and then play on her emotions. (3617)”

This was said after being asked what he would do if he were on a date with a woman with whom he wanted to become physically intimate with. The first part of this answer is perfectly fine. It is very important for you to ensure that she is comfortable around you. Making her laugh is a great way to do this. However, I had trouble with the last part of the answer, “then play on her emotions”. There is a chance that it was just a poor choice of words. The word “play” in regards to her emotions gives off a very negative connotation to me. What it looks like, to me anyways is that her emotions are something that can be manipulated and played with in order for men to get what they want (in this case, physical intimacy). It upsets me when men take advantage of women’s emotional attributes in order to get what they want. Saying you want to “play” on her emotions only makes it look like you are willing to say anything she wants to hear to get what you want, regardless of whether or not you mean it. And that is not okay. (3651)


“A situation that has been confusing to me, with the opposite sex, is when you are out with a female and they get offended or upset when you make a comment about another female or just look at another female. It makes me wonder if they are really that insecure about themselves that they have to be made to thought they are the only female in the universe the moment they are with you. The thought process which females have puzzles me. What could they possibly be thinking that they think they are not guilty of finding other people attractive, they are also just human. The only difference is they don’t say anything and may observe someone of the opposite sex more discretely. When it comes down to it all I can think of to explain this is that they would rather just not know what we really think and just want to know and see what makes them, feel secure. Personally I don’t mind a female looking at someone else or making a comment, this make me feel more trusting of them since they don’t feel the need to hide things.”

This comment really struck home with me. I think he has a valid point, being that there are many girls and it would be completely ridiculous to only find one girl attractive. Also, girls find multiple guys attractive. It’s just human nature. However, from a females point of view, who has experienced a lot of negative experiences with males and trusting them from the time I was ~7, it isn’t just about what males are thinking, but rather how they are acting. The fact that you find other girls isn’t what upsets us. It is that you are openly acting on it (by checking them out when we are around), which can come off as disrespectful. You’re right in saying that it brings out our insecurities…but we want a man who will respect that we have these insecurities and act accordingly. (4929)




. The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to surpress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent.



I believe women are looking for certain benchmarks of emotion, such as sharing all our problems or insecurities with them, and asking how their day went. When these certain criteria are not met, they mistakenly assume that emotions are simply not the male forte. Guys care, and think about emotions a lot. We just do not always need to express them. (0645)”

I think this is extremely relevant to any girl who is in any type of relationship with a male, whether it be a sexual relationship, serious relationship, or just has a friendship with male. Females have to start giving males the benefit of the doubt and understand that culture has shaped men to not be as expressive with their emotions as females are. It is somewhat common sense to know that males will not cry in front of woman as much as woman cry in front of males but yet we put so much pressure on them to express emotions. But who are women kidding, to be honest most women would not want to deal with a man who is just as emotional or way more emotional that she is because most women would see that as a sign of weakness. I think women need to be more understanding of this fact and not get to hurt when men are not as emotionally responsive. (9295)

"The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to surpress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent."
I think that men are taught from a young age to not show their emotions and that is why women believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. I definitely agree with this comment regarding the cultural pressures society puts on males to be masculine and surpress emotions. It was very surprising to read that the male who wrote this comment even believes that the most "macho" male is in touch with his emotions. Due to the surpression that males have in revealing their emotions, I think that many males would not admit that the stereotype regarding males and emotions is wrong if the comments were not anonymous. (2992)


2. “Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship "tests" by picking fights, mentioning taboo subjects and watching our reactions, taking us to meet the parents, asking us what we think about children, pretending they are pregnant, leaving a room messy or trash out to see if we'll clean it up... (0645)
For one thing, I feel very sorry for whoever this guy is… I was particularly struck by the “pretending they are pregnant.” Do girls even DO that? This comment was just ridiculous and seemed a bit like a joke almost. Although if it is not, power to you, dude. (9977)

“I am not a pretentious person , but I cant think of a time where I have ever got rejected. I am a very confident man, so I can easily walk up to a girl and talk to her. If they are single I never get rejected. I guess the only rejection I face is when they tell me they have a boyfriend, but that doesn't usually stop them from exchanging contacts with me. However I have been broken up with and this is mostly because my inabilty to not take them for granted. This happend with a couple of girls and it happend through a text message. Honestly, I didn't really care, so I guess that was the problem in the first place. Some might say that breaking up through text is rude, but it gets the job done. I don't want to seem like an emotionless person , but I dont get too sad over women.”
Despite what he says, this comment does seem fairly pretentious, which in my opinion is a major turn off in the opposite sex. Confidence is one thing, but this guy acts as if any woman would be thrilled to be with him, despite the fact that he doesn't really care about them at all. He doesn't seem to respect women very much and admits to taking them for granted, but isn't really affected by any hurt he causes them. (8359)

"In the past I have dealt with girlfriends that absolutely go ballistic if you talk to another girl. My personality is naturally flirtatious and I had a girl lose it whenever I would talk with another girl. Something that I think is not a problem at all suddenly transformed into a fight over nothing. I found it puzzling that they would get so mad over something so little when they know it is part of who I am. (3617)”
This disturbs me a bit. To me, it seems as if this person is pretty much saying that he flirts with other girls. If his personality is flirty and he is talking with other girls, he’s implying that he is flirting with other girls. And he is puzzled when his girlfriend gets mad when he flirts with other girls. I don’t know this person, but I would like to ask him if he would be fine with his girlfriend flirting with other guys. I honestly don’t think that any guy would be okay with his girlfriend flirting with other guys, but maybe I’m wrong.(1109)

“One thing that really annoys me is when girls try and use me to by them a drink when I’m at a bar or a party and then they’ll just leave. It’s fairly easy to spot but they are simply trying to use you as a wallet. (3617)”

This comment was a bit upsetting to me. This guy complained about girls using him to buy them a drink, but from my personal experience men tend to buy women drinks because they expect something in return. One can argue that he expected a conversation, but more often men expect a sexual favor in return when they spend money on a woman. I think that many women tend to expect that men will attempt to use them, so they use men as well (9031).

“I especially dislike how women can be extreme feminists and act paranoid and project chauvinistic qualities on men simply because that’s what they expect or that’s how certain men have treated them.”
This particular comment was very offensive to me simply because it maintains the negative stereotype associated with feminism. It’s upsetting that the adjectives used to describe feminists are “extreme” and “paranoid.” I believe everyone should strive for equality among the sexes and it’s comments such as this that undermines the work feminists have accomplished. I think those who “project chauvinistic qualities” onto men only do so because of experience or learned behavior. Instead of calling them “extreme feminists” they should understand why these women react or feel they way they do and prove them wrong. Change to the current patriarchal system will only occur when men begin to recognize sexism in our society and than work to transform it. (4610)

"When I was with my ex-girlfriend we would get into arguments and her friends would treat me rudely or ignore me even if they had no idea what the fight was about." (7737)

This was in a way upsetting to read because I have noticed that women have the tendency to gang up on their friend’s boyfriend after an argument without fully knowing about the situation. I think it goes back to what I learned from “The Female Brain” by Louann Brizendine, girls probably do not speak up against their friends in order to avoid being abandoned. (3007)

"In high school, I remember one instance when my girlfriend at the time got mad at me for being good friends with an ex-girlfriend, even though I explained thoroughly that my relationship with the ex was strictly platonic. What puzzled me about this was when I questioned her about her exes, my girlfriend got mad at me for bringing it up. I was somewhat confused by the expectations that she held concerning me and those she expected me to have of her. Also, I am absolutely dumbfounded about how easily any female I've interacted with is capable of overreacting emotionally to the smallest of events. "
I think this is just a generalization that guys use when their girlfriend gets upset. From personal experience my boyfriend says the exact same thing. I usually try to be patient and nicely let him know what is bothering me but when things start piling up, something pushes me over the edge and his response is that I exaggerate over such a trivial thing, when in fact I've been piling up everything overtime so that "little thing" is just the icing on the cake sometimes. (8436)


“I just got out of a very confusing relationship. The most puzzling thing about it is that what I would say would be taken out of context. I would feel that I was being very upfront and clear with my intentions as well as my thoughts on the relationship. I feel that the female and females in general may bring too much emotion into relationships. Of course passion and emotion is necessary for any relationship to function, but too much emotion may cause problems to arise.” (5343) – It’s not that females bring too much emotion into relationships, it’s that emotions need to be handled in an adult manner. I feel that a man who doesn’t want to deal with a woman’s emotions is not a man who should be in a relationship.

“To get this person to become physically intimate I would persuade them that a better location is much suitable and offer my home as an alternative to the restaurant we are currently at. I would let them know that I didn’t quite want to end the date yet and hoped they felt the same. After some playful insisting we would go back to my place and continue the conversation. I would make them feel welcome and relaxed. Comfort is key. Many times the convincing isn’t verbal, but rather through the actions one chooses to make. Starting with a single kiss, then going from their, you make them feel like it is all their idea to keep going but you actually have the control of the situation.” This greatly disturbs me because it seems like the man is trying to convince a girl to hook up with them. A woman should never be convinced. The woman should instigate or express desire before doing anything sexual. And it is also a good idea to continuously ask if she is comfortable, that way you do not cross any boundaries. (5659)


“Not even once.” This was a response to the question: “Can you think of any instances in which you have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex?” I find it very saddening that this person canot think of 1 single time in his entire 20+ years on this planet that a woman treated him fairly. I feel really sorry for this guy and I really hope that someone comes along soon who can show him that women have an incredible ability to empathize and care for others. (6617)


“ A few semesters ago, I had a class with this one girl who sat in front of me. One day I came to class and although I didn’t have a chance to talk to her yet, I could tell she was in a really bad mood. A few minutes later she turned around and in an angry tone, asked me why I hadn’t added her on Facebook yet. The truth is that I’m not a huge fan of social media and adding her on Facebook simply slipped my mind. I was pretty shocked by the intensity of her reaction and I left that class pretty puzzled and confused. 2618”
I was so surprised by how quickly this person was to make a generalization about all females after an encounter with one girl. I agree with him that this girl’s reaction was rather ridiculous, but it would be ridiculous even to other girls. It also leads me to think that this individual finds women in general to be a bit shallow if he thinks that social media is that crucial to so many young women. (0735)

“2. I like how different women are then men. They think differently by looking at the world with a more empathetic view and motivate us to be better. I also think women are objectively better looking. I dislike that they complain about problems but don’t ever feel the need to solve them. Any suggestion on what to do usually warrants a negative response. I also feel as though they blow a lot of situations out of proportion by over analyzing them. (4073)”

It upset me that this males thinks that women complain about problems, but don’t solve them and suggestions are responded to with negativity. I don’t feel that this is true for women in general at all. I think that women often do solve problems that they complain about. This may be true for a specific women, but in general I think this is upsetting that this male thinks that women in general are like this. It would be interesting to know more about why he thinks this. (9222)

“My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis.”

This comment was disturbing and perhaps even upsetting because I do believe that cases such as the one described in this comment occur quite frequently yet, whereas females would have most probably received valuable help if sought out, males most often do not. I also believe that males are put in situations at times by females, as I have seen girls act in ways before that should never be permitted, that eventually escalates and triggers males to act in ways they usually would not have or do not even condone themselves. Yet, often, if such a situation occurred the males get blamed and stand powerless while they really should be granted greater understanding or help. 7236

“My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis.”
I think that this is something that is not only very serious and real, but something that needs more exposure. I am studying psychology because I want to be a therapist, specializing in sexual abuse, needless to say this is something that I am very passionate about. So many people do actually believe that a man cannot get raped. And that is simply not true. There are many reasons people think this, from men have an erection meaning consent to the simple fact that a man should be able to physically subdue a woman making rape impossible. It is really upsetting to me that this persons friend was not given the attention and support that they needed in this situation. Men can get raped and it is something that very few people take seriously in our society. (8084)

3. ...honestly revealed something about male perceptions, feelings or thoughts that you suspect that they generally might be very reluctant to admit to if their comments were not anonymous?


“Start acting like you were hanging out with an old friend making dumb jokes and treating her like one of the guys. Worse comes to worse bring up problems about another girl and throw out the whole “it’s nice to have a FRIEND to talk to” line. (6163)”
This line made me laugh because it’s terrible, but it works. This line doesn’t just work for guys but it can also work for girls as well. I’ve heard many stories where guys have been “friendzoned” by a girl in that exact manner (7643).

“I love that women can listen intently, deeply, and give good advice. I love that I can usually feel comforted by some sort of interaction with a woman, especially my mom. I especially enjoy their desire to nurture and support, as I feel like I can be open and real with women. I also appreciate how much effort they put into looking their best. I don’t particularly appreciate how they can be so petty or judgmental towards other women they may be competing with. I can be put off by how manipulative they can be towards others.” I appreciated this male’s perspective on women as being nurturing and supportive. It is a nice contrast to the perception that males just see women as sexual objects made for their pleasure. This males comment was humanizing and an important aspect of women that is extremely different from men. In the context of emotional support, I think men have much to learn from women. His comment about women competing with one another being unattractive was an interesting perspective that I completely understand and agree with, but at the same time, men can be very competitive amongst one another as well. (8090)

"I find that physical appearance plays a large influence on my initial attraction to someone. Usually if I find her physically attractive, I will tend to pay more attention to her and will seek to see what her personality and ect is like. Friendly gestures towards me may increase my attraction towards someone, but unless they're consistent, I will never act on them. Social status really doesn't matter to me unless the person is seen as a total outcast. Someone that is an embarrassment or shame to be seen with is a huge turn-off for me. (5768)”
I understand wanting to be with someone attractive but saying that it’s shameful to be seen with someone is pretty harsh. I don’t think that guys would say this on the discussion board had they not remained anonymous. Sure, you may not run in the same social circles but calling someone an embarrassment is extremely unkind and I wouldn’t expect anyone to admit this in person. (8003)

“I like that they pay attention to their looks and are therefore pleasing to look at. This makes it fun for me to talk to/interact with them and conveys the message that they want males to feel attracted/drawn to them, since they pay attention to their looks mainly for males (at least that is what I think the main reason behind that is), and as most people, male or female, would agree, feeling wanted is a great feeling. I also like that females tend to seem like they enjoy being unassertive when it comes to their interactions with males (and this is most probably a product of society and how females and males are raised). I dislike that females tend to be more dramatic compared to males in the sense that a behavior or a pattern of behavior that might not even occur to a male to be offensive or disrespectful in any way can be seen (or not truly perceived that way but held) by a female as extremely offensive or disrespectful. This often times lead to the female accusing the male of being “emotionally inept”, insensitive, or deficiencies of that nature, whereas the male might view the bigger part of the problem to lie with the female and her extreme (seemingly to the male) emotional sensitivity (I think there definitely is a biological component to such differences in emotional intensities). I also do not like that females gossip (publicly or privately) more than males do. It turns into belittling others for their own pleasure and is an example “schadenfreude”. (5966)”
This comment was so male-centered, that I like to believe most males wouldn’t truly admit they felt this way out loud even if they truly did. First of all, women do not pay attention to their looks solely for male pleasure. It is not all about attracting a male—hell most of the time it has nothing to do with that. Women dress up for themselves, to be confident in their skin and feel in control. It’s barely about males. The idea that women also “enjoy being unassertive” is as upsetting as it is wrong again. No female enjoys being unassertive—everyone wants to be confident, everyone wants to have the freedom to be who they are or go after what they want, but sometimes men do not give them that option. I’d really like to believe a male wouldn’t openly admit to perceiving female interactions in these ways, because it contains little to no understanding of how the woman psyche truly works. (5759).

  1. a In my last relationship, which lasted two years of college, my ex would sometimes get extremely emotionally unstable for no reason. What I find incomprehensible about women is their seemingly random emotional extremes. Small meaningless actions can spark strong responses that seem irrational to men. (2908)
1. b I found this comment to be particularly good example of men’s general views on women being emotional. I feel like this is a very common sentiment amongst many men that I have spoken to. Whenever this event is described in a casual conversation I generally hear the guy say something along the lines of “I don’t know why she got so mad, I didn’t say anything” or “She’s just emotionally unstable that’s all.” I feel like these responses come from people who don’t bother to understand why the woman was feeling that way. Or if they try to understand the emotions, they only come at the situation from their point of view, rather than attempting to understand the woman’s point of view. I, myself, have definitely had moments when I could be seen as emotionally unstable or set off by something small and I think I only become extremely upset with the situation when my male friend or boyfriend has tried to minimize my feelings and tell me that what I’m feeling isn’t a valid way to react. (1524)
  1. “Sex is not the only driving force or goal in a man’s life. I think women stereotype us too much with wanting or thinking about sex all the time and it is not entirely true. First of all, we cannot help that it is a biological necessity for us to want to have sex and replicate. The thought of sex will inevitably occur in us men. However, we no longer live in primitive times and the motivations for living a good life are slowly but surely expanding. I ardently believe that there are not only men, but women too who see life as being more than the goal of survival and replication. There is a greater purpose to our existence and ironically the survival of our species depends on those people finding and living it out. (5835)
    1. b. I think it’s interesting to hear guys say this, because I feel like they don’t talk that way in public or around friends in fear of being seen as less “macho.” I thought it was nice to hear this point of view, and it definitely changed my perception of males in a small way. However, it is important to understand that women are justified in holding this stereotype. More times than not have I been confronted with a male who is only interested in sex, and often acts rudely about it. It is nice to know that “good guys” are out there and a lot of them at that. I also agree that because we are no longer in primitive times there are more motivations in life and more goals that constitute success rather than just reproduction. However, I wonder if this change has changed the way our brain works or if we still rely on these primitive characteristics without even being aware. If so, will these instincts ever change as they are no longer as necessary (6700)?

2. I like that the opposite sex allows you to do certain things that would otherwise be considered homosexual by my peers. For instance, drinking some alcoholic beverages without getting some negative remarks from my friends. I know that if I were to go out with some friends and order a Strawberry Daiquiri at least one of them will comment how gay I am. While this may be a stupid example, I feel that I am barricaded from many other things such as yoga, clothing, and even food choices.
I think that men are reluctant to admit that these certain aspects of masculinity bother them due to the fact that it is used to disempower them. Yoga is not a female-only activity, however, it has been portrayed as highly feminine by society. When males do choose to explore their masculinity, and things that they like, other males will put them down instead of saying that what they are doing is admirable.(0974)

“3. The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to surpress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent.
I believe women are looking for certain benchmarks of emotion, such as sharing all our problems or insecurities with them, and asking how their day went. When these certain criteria are not met, they mistakenly assume that emotions are simply not the male forte. Guys care, and think about emotions a lot. We just do not always need to express them. (0645)”
I think this post honestly revealed that men are not emotionless but rather act in ways to avoid showing their emotion because of the pressures put on by them by society to fill their gender role. I also appreciated that this person expressed that men do care but simply process and express their emotions in different ways. I think when a man is hurt, it is hard for them to admit. I think it is also hard for men to admit that they have emotions in general. I believe that men are often times scared of admitting the fact that they feel and can be hurt too. (6955)

“3. Almost everything. Women can sometimes be more sexist than men but at the same time it makes sense. At the end of the day, male privilege protects me from being too profoundly impacted by female sexism against males. (6438)”
I appreciated this post because it admits a certain level of hypocrisy of women when it comes to discourse on the equality of the sexes, but also brings up the honest point that this male does not feel victimized by women being sexist towards men because he is aware of his male privilege (it’s as if he’s admitting that you cannot find one remark about his race or gender identification that could possibly hurt his feelings). (2735)

“8.Junior year I asked out my friend after months of constant all day communication. She rejected me which I somewhat expected but was crushed due to the massive reserve of hope I had stashed somewhere in the back of my mind. They weren’t rude or insensitive but I was so crushed I went home and laid in bed for 36 hours. I began to find it unfair that she led me on for so many months when clearly she could tell I had feelings for her. Women, I know it’s expected of men to be upfront about our intentions but if we aren’t do us a favor and let us in or cut us off early. (6275)”
I certainly feel bad for this person. Typically men don’t like to talk about how much rejection can hurt their feelings as much as women often do. (2735)

“2. I like that the opposite sex allows you to do certain things that would otherwise be considered homosexual by my peers. For instance, drinking some alcoholic beverages without getting some negative remarks from my friends. I know that if I were to go out with some friends and order a Strawberry Daiquiri at least one of them will comment how gay I am. While this may be a stupid example, I feel that I am barricaded from many other things such as yoga, clothing, and even food choices. (5768)”
I appreciated this post because I do agree that there exists a barrier for men to enjoy certain activities and foods in life, for fear of being labeled as being “not masculine enough”. However, I do see change in our society currently, particularly in yoga; there’s even a website called “Bro Yoga”, in which men can purchase yoga accessories that have been masculinized. (2735)

“I think women overestimate how much men only want women for sex. I think some guys may put up that front, but truly want someone that they can share experiences with and love. Not all men are just looking for sex and will move on once they get it. I think there are definitely many men that act this way, but there are also so many that are looking for someone to be in a relationship with and have no problem spending their life with one woman.” (3297)
This male was honest because he was anonymous. If he admitted this to his male friends, they would see him as a “wimp” or something that has a feminine connotation. This is because of the social stigma that males have to uphold in order to be seen as male. This is very unfortunate, but this is what society requires from them. Males need to act like they are heartless and only want sex, but when they want to find love, they can’t share their thoughts and feelings with their male friends. However, males are humans and need to find love and happiness in their life. (2835)


“The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to surpress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent. I believe women are looking for certain benchmarks of emotion, such as sharing all our problems or insecurities with them, and asking how their day went. When these certain criteria are not met, they mistakenly assume that emotions are simply not the male forte. Guys care, and think about emotions a lot. We just do not always need to express them. (0645)”


I really admire this response for the honest information provided. It is comforting to know that men do indeed have emotions and may not be lacking as much as we think, in the emotional intelligence department. Many men don’t explain that they have feelings, just as women do, because of the fear of hindering their masculinity. As the commenter states, many men hide their emotional side due to cultural pressures to be masculine. Had this been un-anonymous, I'm sure this man wouldn't have gone into such detail in regards to men being emotional and insecure, similar to women. (7732)

“I think women overestimate how much men only want women for sex. I think some guys may put up that front, but truly want someone that they can share experiences with and love. Not all men are just looking for sex and will move on once they get it. I think there are definitely many men that act this way, but there are also so many that are looking for someone to be in a relationship with and have no problem spending their life with one woman.”
There is a behavioral script for men to be strong, assertive, and sexually aggressive. Especially when hanging out with other male friends, men seem to want to prove their masculinity by upholding these gender stereotypes. They may embellish stories about their interactions with women or simply refrain from talking about their emotions. Like this individual wrote, a lot of this is a front that they put up. I suspect that men would be reluctant to admit these types of comments if they were not anonymous because of a fear of being ridiculed. This comment is sensitive and reflects emotion, insight, and honesty, which go against male stereotypes. It is unfortunate that this type of statement is not one that guys would make openly, because it shows that men and women are not that different in their desire to have a meaningful relationship (7413).

“Not every guy is trying to get into your pants. Although it is true that some guys only seek relationships with girls for sexual reasons, I feel like a good majority of males seek relationships with girls that are not at all sexual. A male could genuinely be trying to ask a girl if she wants to study for a test with him and a good portion of females would misinterpret this as something that it's not.”
I think this was the main thing that the males commented most about, and although I have heard about this plenty of times, I still do think that in this generation, this kind of reaction is normal from a female’s perspective because what we know and see around is that males do tend to hit and quit and so I think that is also the reason why females sort of “emotionally” adapted to this by trying not to get attached in a friends with benefits type of thing or when something like a male asking a girl if she wants to study for a test or hang out despite of good intentions because of the majority that we see or based on what we know. (9119)

“Junior year I asked out my friend after months of constant all day communication. She rejected me which I somewhat expected but was crushed due to the massive reserve of hope I had stashed somewhere in the back of my mind. They weren’t rude or insensitive but I was so crushed I went home and laid in bed for 36 hours. I began to find it unfair that she led me on for so many months when clearly she could tell I had feelings for her. Women, I know it’s expected of men to be upfront about our intentions but if we aren’t do us a favor and let us in or cut us off early.”

I think men are generally reluctant to express their emotions, particularly when they feel heart broken. From my experience with male friends, if they have had their heart broken by a girl they keep to themselves or do things to get their mind off of it. I think the author might be a little reluctant to admit that they felt hurt, only because men tend to hide their emotions more than women.(7528)

I think women overestimate how much men only want women for sex. I think some guys may put up that front, but truly want someone that they can share experiences with and love. Not all men are just looking for sex and will move on once they get it. I think there are definitely many men that act this way, but there are also so many that are looking for someone to be in a relationship with and have no problem spending their life with one woman.
I am definitely one of the females that thought this. Most women think this because men don’t admit to this and they put of that front. I always thought the wanting to spend their life with one women comes with age and maturity. (1670)

“I like that the opposite sex allows you to do certain things that would otherwise be considered homosexual by my peers. For instance, drinking some alcoholic beverages without getting some negative remarks from my friends. I know that if I were to go out with some friends and order a Strawberry Daiquiri at least one of them will comment how gay I am. While this may be a stupid example, I feel that I am barricaded from many other things such as yoga, clothing, and even food choices. I dislike that unless I prove otherwise, most females instantly consider me an emotionless meathead that only cares about eating, sleeping and fucking. I envision from a female's perspective that males are cave-men, who talk in the 3rd person and wander around all day looking for someone to have sex with. It’s like with every new female that I meet, I instantly start out as a womanizer with no dignity or decency and I must prove otherwise. Only after I have proven that I am not a sex crazed animal (varies depending on female, can take 5 minutes or months) do I feel like I receive a mutual decency and I'm treated like a human been.”(5768)
I find this really honest and therefore I do not think this male would be so open in his comment if it were not anonymous. It is almost as if males feel like they have to be this stereotype that they not only place on themselves but that women also place on them. Then they have to prove themselves as not being like this to women at the same time. Perhaps males have a harder time than us women give them credit for as they feel like they have to act one way in front of women and another in front of men. What also struck me was that he seems to be able to feel like he can be more honest in front of the females as some activities his male friends will call him “homo.” It is sad that we have these gender stereotypes attached to activities both sexes can easily enjoy such as yoga (5908).

Previous classes:

“In terms of dislikes, it seems that women have a tendency to over-analyze situations. Not only can this be annoying as a male who does his best to not "sweat the small stuff", it can sometimes be outright dangerous in a relationship with a woman, romantic or otherwise. In terms of annoyance, you can always count on a girl to have an hour-long soap opera story about how her friend told her such a thing, and how your friend cannot determine whether this has a hidden meaning and implication for their friendship or not. In terms of danger, one can never know when an impending arguement with a girl is incoming because of the most insignificant action or word on your part. For example, telling a female friend that you will call her when your group of friends goes out for dinner and forgetting, may take more than just a simple "sorry" to remedy. Also, offering to help another girl with an errand might be a declaration of war to your girlfriend. It sometimes seems that female cognition is almost wired completely differently from males.” Some of what is said here I agree with, and I’m sure other females would as well. But there are also things I have a feeling most girls wouldn’t want to admit. For example, “In terms of annoyance, you can always count on a girl to have an hour-long soap opera story about how her friend told her such a thing, and how your friend cannot determine whether this has a hidden meaning and implication for their friendship or not.” To most people this would be considered gossiping, but to females I would say they think about it as venting. Most people wouldn’t want to see themselves in a negative light and gossiping is looked down upon, so I feel females wouldn’t want to admit this about them. Also, “offering to help another girl with an errand might be a declaration of war to your girlfriend. It sometimes seems that female cognition is almost wired completely differently from males.” I think most females wouldn’t want to see themselves as a jealous girlfriend, and even say, “I never get jealous.” But I feel women do have a sense of jealousy and they probably don’t show it but the feel it. (7302)

I think that women most misunderstand that men do possess very strong emotions, and almost universally have a more difficult time expressing them given societal expectations. Women are told that expressing the way they feel is perfectly acceptable and that emotionality is to be embraced. Men, on the other hand, are constantly told to be macho and suppress their fears and sadness because they are “signs of weakness.” Attempting to uphold this illogical standard causes many men to shy away from self-expression and bottle many problems up that they would otherwise want to discuss with a trusted friend. In other cases, men seek other less effective ways toward coming to terms with their problems, which usually are viewed as self destructive or selfish.” This just proved that men do need to be emotional at times, and that if society was not so hard on men, to always be the tough, strong, no emotional human beings, that they have made them out to be. Men would be able to express their emotional frustrations in a way that society would view as normal. (4103).

“I’ve never been rejected in a particularly rude or insensitive way. The girls I’ve been rejected by were all generally kind about it which hurts in its own way I suppose. There have been times when girls have ignored or avoided me for a while after they rejected me, but I suppose it’s understandable because it’s usually an awkward situation all around.”

This response seems to reveal an emotional response and expression of attachment that I feel men would be hesitant to admit if these comments were not anonymous. Men do not want to be perceived as emotional because to them that implies weakness. This comment revealed that males often feel the same emotional responses to relationship troubles, however they do not convey these emotions in the overt manner that females do. (8531)


3. “4. The physical characteristics that attract me to a female would be their breasts, butt, waist, face, and eyes. As far as personality goes humor and self confidence and being low key are very important. I would say the most important factor would be, prior to meeting physical attributes, after meeting demeanor and mannerism around me. (6163)”



“It seems that women believe that men are all lovers of sexual conquest, not caring for whose feelings get trampled in the way. Some are this way, maybe too many, but more often than women care to think or admit, guys’ feelings are the ones getting trampled after one night stands. (3595)”

I cannot imagine a man saying this to a woman following a one night stand. Moreover, if a man’s feelings are so hurt after he gains another notch in his belt, why continue the conquest? Why not tell a woman how he feels? (6259)


I believe that most people would be reluctant to admit that the first thing they care about when looking for someone to date is there physical appearance, for fear of being seen as shallow. However, as evolutionary psychology has shown us, physical appearance is the exact thing that we all notice first and foremost, for it is a sing of good health and good genes. (4669)

#13. The opposite sex seems clueless about. ..spotting gay men (0645)’

Personally I do not think a male would reveal this thought if this had not been anonymous. This type of response seems to be saying that males have an easier time identifying if another male is homosexual than females do. Most men would probably not have said this because they might have been scared that someone might mistake his sexuality because he may be good at noticing homosexual tendencies that gay males have. (9295)


"The one thing women misunderstand most about men is we actually do care about girls in more than a physical aspect. Our society has constructed the belief that all guys are assholes and don’t genuinely care about girls beyond their bodies. There are guys who are like this but women must realize there are always exceptions too. Men aren’t going to care about every women they ever meet because we simply do not work that way. Men are looking for the right women, once we find them, caring for that person will come naturally. Women must understand that men aren’t always interested in physical aspects of women, although our society continues to portray men like this, it is not a belief that applies to the entire male population."
I had never really put any thought into this description of men's preference for women. I tend to think that men aren't picky when it comes to the opposite sex at all, but perhaps it is just less picky when it comes to superficial relationships, saving all their real energy for when they meet a woman they really want to care about. It makes men more endearing. (6503)

“The one thing women misunderstand most about men is we actually do care about girls in more than a physical aspect. Our society has constructed the belief that all guys are assholes and don’t genuinely care about girls beyond their bodies. There are guys who are like this but women must realize there are always exceptions too. Men aren’t going to care about every women they ever meet because we simply do not work that way. Men are looking for the right women, once we find them, caring for that person will come naturally. Women must understand that men aren’t always interested in physical aspects of women, although our society continues to portray men like this, it is not a belief that applies to the entire male population.”
I think that this is true, but not everyone would be able to say this with their name on it. Some males would not be able to do this because of what other guys would say, make fun of, or mock them. Guys are seen as cool, by their peers if they are looking for more in a women than just physical. I hope that guys would be able to share this with their names on it. (4049).

In my opinion, the strengths of women is their ability to work hard. I have noticed that women usually work harder than men do, especially when it comes to academics. The extent they go to in their simple homework tasks is unbelievable. They are also very organized which is a big strength. However, their tendency to hold grudges is a big weakness. Men may be mad at each other one night, have a fight about it, then continue on to be friends the next day. But, women will not overtly fight about a problem, they will spread rumors and gossip for weeks or months. (3617)

I am commenting on the first half of this answer. I think that it is very hard for males to acknowledge that females do work really hard at school. It is stereotypical for males to do well in academics, but it is rare that females are given the credit where credit is due. (2473)

Females are for one, very caring. They are excellent at taking others' problems and internalizing them as their own to assist in helping to find solutions. Also, they tend to be much more organized than men. I rely on the women in my life to keep me on track with my appointments and cleaning of my room. Finally, women are very generous and will express their generosity even when it is not neccesary.

"For weaknesses, women tend to think emotionally, rather than logically. Also, while they are very detail-oriented it can sometimes bog them down with seemingly useless facts or analysis of situations. Also, constructive criticism can easily be interpreted as a personal attack to them. (0645)"

“Women tend to think emotionally, rather than logically” is something I believe this person would not have admitted if the comment was not anonymous because that is just over generalizing and assuming that emotions are not logical. (0516)

3. “The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to surpress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent
I find it very brave when men are able to admit that they have deep feelings. It honestly makes me sad that men do not feel safe enough to express their emotions because, for me, talking about myself and my feelings is one of my favorite activities (stereotypical, I know). Anonymous man, if you ever need someone to talk to, don’t bottle it up and come find me! (9977)

“3. The most misunderstood thing about males is that females believe we are emotionally simple. This is far from the truth males just have different emotions provoked by certain things and even when the same emotions are provoked the way of dealing with said emotion is different for males. Males are just different, not simple.”

I thought this comment was particularly interesting because it makes you look at men’s seemingly lack of emotion in a different way. I think that men are usually not quick to admit that they feel the same emotions that women do, but it’s interesting to think about how they do feel similar emotions and just react to them in different ways. (7453)


“The one thing women misunderstand most about men is we actually do care about girls in more than a physical aspect. Our society has constructed the belief that all guys are assholes and don’t genuinely care about girls beyond their bodies. There are guys who are like this but women must realize there are always exceptions too…Women must understand that men aren’t always interested in physical aspects of women, although our society continues to portray men like this, it is not a belief that applies to the entire male population.”
I would agree with this comment, I feel men are negative associated with the stereotype that their only goal is sex and they’re willing to go to extreme measures to obtain it. There are men that do fit into the stereotype, however, women also have to keep in mind that there are many that don’t. I think men are expected to maintain this stereotype a lot of the time; they would be seen as unmasculine if they disagreed or objected to only striving for sex. Therefore, I think it’s unlikely that this person would have written this comment if it wasn’t anonymous. (4610)


“At work once a female co-worker assisted me in unloading the weekly delivery of boxes of paper instead of assuming I would do it just because I was the male. Having someone assume a task is yours simply because of your gender gets old after awhile and it’s a nice change when a woman expects equality but also grants equality.”
This may be taken as feminine and, therefore, lead to men not wanting to share this opinion. (7982)
"Whenever I am having a bad day, or seemed stress, my girlfriend is always there to support me. Whether it's a hug or a back massage or just sitting me down and asking me to tell her what's wrong, she is always being the perfect supporter and personal cheerleader for me. While I can find support from male friends, she can give me comfort in a way that no one else can."
I think that guys don't let it be known how much they value their girlfriends because they may think that it is not manly to do so. I don't really think the guy that wrote this comment would ever say this to one of his guy friends about how his girlfriend is very helpful on tough situations. My boyfriend sometimes tells me that I'm the only true friend he has or how he only has me whenever he needs someone which makes me feel nice but I don't think he would say this to his best guy friend. (8436)

“Being an emotional guy myself, it can be frustrating at times feeling like I have very few close friends whom I can turn to in states of distress. I have found over the years that close female friends are much more receptive toward discussing and empathizing with issues occurring in my life. Similarly, I believe that women possess an ability to nurture and care for others that men simply will never be able to replicate.”
I feel that it is often very hard for men to be able to openly admit that they are emotional. I really believe that if we had to put our names on this assignment, this particular man would have said that, or he would have said it in a different, less upfront way. I also really liked that this guy was very honest about how much he cared about the female ability to empathize and that men are hardly ever honest about this. (6617)

“I like that the opposite sex allows you to do certain things that would otherwise be considered homosexual by my peers. For instance, drinking some alcoholic beverages without getting some negative remarks from my friends. I know that if I were to go out with some friends and order a Strawberry Daiquiri at least one of them will comment how gay I am. While this may be a stupid example, I feel that I am barricaded from many other things such as yoga, clothing, and even food choices. I dislike that unless I prove otherwise, most females instantly consider me an emotionless meathead that only cares about eating, sleeping and fucking. I envision from a female's perspective that males are cave-men, who talk in the 3rd person and wander around all day looking for someone to have sex with. It’s like with every new female that I meet, I instantly start out as a womanizer with no dignity or decency and I must prove otherwise. Only after I have proven that I am not a sex crazed animal (varies depending on female, can take 5 minutes or months) do I feel like I receive a mutual decency and I'm treated like a human been.”

This comment I found to be particularly interesting because I never really realized that males may be refrained from many activities/interests due to our societal views on what males “should do and like” and what females “should do and like”. Whereas I think it is easier for females to step outside of such norms, for males this may not be as accepted. I also doubt these thoughts would have been expressed were it not anonymous. 7236

“When I first met my girlfriend, the first attraction was purely physical. I was struck by how pretty her face was, and then secondly attracted to the shape of her body. However, what made her stick in my mind was her "cool" almost aloof manner. She did not give me a particularly warm "girly" greeting. Instead, it was a polite greeting, and a general sense of disinterest in me. I am not sure if this made me crazy about her because she seemed so unattainable, or something else. However, my attraction to her deepened when I was informed by a friend that in fact she was incredibly attracted to me, and was attempting not to over-play her hand.”

I found this response to be a very sweet and sincere one, but I know that not many guys would say it out loud for the fear of being made fun of. Whoever this guys girlfriend is, she is one lucky gal. (9398)




4. ...seemed to be a particularly good example of one of the robust gender differences predicted by evolutionary psychology?


“I was sitting on a couch at a VIP booth in a night club at Las Vegas. Two girls came up to me and grabbed me off the couch and starting dancing with me. One of them started making out with me because she thought I was a hot guy."

This comment says it all. Guys regardless of how they look, think women always want them because of evolution and being of male gender gives them rights regardless of anything else-have distorted image of themselves-thanks to evolution. (4610).

“My senior year of High school, my friend’s girlfriend got into a huge fight with her friend because their prom dresses were too similar. While I assumed such a minor dilemma wouldn’t really be an issue, it resulted in our 40person prom group splitting apart because each girl refused to be seen with each other. They each created their own new prom groups and tried to recruit as many couples from the original group as possible. As one could imagine, this created even more drama as now girls who weren't at all involved in this dress dispute were now forced to choose between these competing groups. Throughout all this chaos that ruined friendships, me and the majority of my male friends are looking to one another in awe. None of us really cared for the situation and rather were going to just go with whatever group our dates felt most comfortable with. My guess for all of this would be the vast amounts of estrogen in a female's body during puberty caused for a drastic and emotional thought process.” I thought that this was a particularly interesting example of the psychological differences between sexes. Men hold far less emotional grudges and are less concerned with their appearance and aren’t likely to compare themselves to other males. I think this is interesting to analyze, especially in the context of the animal world, because males tend to engage in intersexual competition with male ornamentation to make themselves stand out to find a female mate. I think that this is true for female humans. They engage in ornamentation to look pretty and presentable for men, so while the two girls fighting over the prom dress may seem extreme, it is another way to look at intersexual competition. (8090)

"I’ve been dumped for not doing anything wrong. She left for an older guy who was an asshole. After a couple years she apologized and admitted I wasn’t in fault and that she just had an urge to date a different type of guy and that it was a mistake. It seems like girls don’t know what they want until later in life. She was burned out on the asshole guys and wanted to start dating again. (4073)"
-The idea of the female wanting an older male makes sense evolutionarily. As we’ve reviewed in class, younger females have a higher reproductive value, and older males appear to be more secure thus more able to provide resources to the female. Because this older man was able to provide more resources, he probably wanted to have more than one female interest, which would explain why he would be labeled as an “asshole.” (1481)

“Overall, I think the most admirable trait of the female gender is its ability to love and care for others. Women seem to tap into these wells of thoughtfulness and consideration that try as I might, I will never find. The women in my life are always remembering my birthday (and furthermore give me gifts for it), calling to say "hi" because they miss me, and often deferring their own plans or pursuits to help me out when needed.”
Evolutionarily women have adapted to be more nurturing because of their children. They need to love and care for them in order for them to survive and pass along their genes. (7982)
4. I find that physical appearance plays a large influence on my initial attraction to someone. Usually if I find her physically attractive, I will tend to pay more attention to her and will seek to see what her personality and ect is like. Friendly gestures towards me may increase my attraction towards someone, but unless they're consistent, I will never act on them. Social status really doesn't matter to me unless the person is seen as a total outcast. Someone that is an embarrassment or shame to be seen with is a huge turn-off for me. (5768)
I think this was a good example of gender differences predicted by evolutionary psychology because they are automatically attracted to how someone looks. Only after that attraction is formed do they try to see what her personality is like. He also does not think that social status plays an importance, an aspect that many females find very important when trying to find a partner.(0974)


"I’ve been dumped for not doing anything wrong. She left for an older guy who was an asshole. After a couple years she apologized and admitted I wasn’t in fault and that she just had an urge to date a different type of guy and that it was a mistake. It seems like girls don’t know what they want until later in life. She was burned out on the asshole guys and wanted to start dating again. (4073)"

I think this comment is particularly good at displaying a robust sex difference because this situation would be surprising if the sexes were reversed. If a woman was dumped by a man so he could date a rude older woman, then I think this would be incredibly surprising. Due to evolution, men tend to want to date women who are younger and more fertile, and women tend to want to date men who are older and have more resources. I speculate that when this girl was younger, she dated older men despite them being cruel because they had more resources than the young men her age. However, as she got older, the men around her own age accumulated more life experience and resources, making them more attractive to her. (9166)


“3. Sex is not the only driving force or goal in a man’s life. I think women stereotype us too much with wanting or thinking about sex all the time and it is not entirely true. First of all, we cannot help that it is a biological necessity for us to want to have sex and replicate. The thought of sex will inevitably occur in us men. However, we no longer live in primitive times and the motivations for living a good life are slowly but surely expanding. I ardently believe that there are not only men, but women too who see life as being more than the goal of survival and replication. There is a greater purpose to our existence and ironically the survival of our species depends on those people finding and living it out. (5835)”
I think this was a good example of not only the gender differences that exist based on predictions by evolutionary psychology, but also the similarities. Men do have an innate need to reproduce which clearly pushes them toward the idea of sex. Naturally, men want to create offspring and do not necessarily care if it is with multiple partners. Women however, tend to want stability and someone that can provide for them as a natural instinct. Therefore, women put less value on sex but use it as a means to get men to provide and settle down with them. I believe men and women are similar in the sense that both want to survive and it is necessary to do so with one another. Therefore, both use and think about sex but in different ways. (6955)

“Women have a very high emotional intelligence. They are great at identifying their feelings, conveying those feeling to others, reading others’ feelings, and knowing how to interact with others according to those feelings. I think this emotional intelligence, however, can lead to a weakness of sensitivity. When a girl becomes too sensitive it makes it hard to even interact with them because I am too scared to say the wrong thing and offend them or hurt their feelings.”

We have discussed so much how women have a very high emotional intelligence in comparison to males. There is really no arguing the fact that women tend to know how to identify and respond to others’ feelings in such an accurate manner. (9398)


“1. It seems as though women drop very subtle hints as to whether they consider you a friend or as something more. Most of which are ambiguous and difficult to decipher. I feel as though I must make the move and interpret them correctly as males must be viewed as the aggressor in pursuing a relationship. It’s hard because you don’t want to overstep your boundaries and make things awkward. I think women don’t ever want to be the aggressor and so must send out subtle hints to not appear that way. They also tend to date assholes. (4073)”
This comment reminded me of how females are typically better at reading body language and discreet social cues, whereas men are not as savvy in this area of expertise. It also reminded me of the discussion of female versus male baby behavior discussed in “The Female Brain”, in which female babies were stated to be more interested in faces, while men were more distracted by mobile objects. (2735)

“5. Females are very good at being nurturing and compassionate, in general. Despite being emotional at times when big emotionally hard times come up they can be very strong and keep their composure well especially in front of others. Weaknesses would be their need to be complimented and reassured of their physical and personal characteristics constantly. Their unstable emotional extremes are also a weakness, they seem to run very hot and cold. (6163)”
This post is definitely referring to female estrogen levels and maternal instinct. (2735)

“7. I was sitting on a couch at a VIP booth in a night club at Las Vegas. Two girls came up to me and grabbed me off the couch and starting dancing with me. One of them started making out with me because she thought I was a hot guy.
(7753)”
I am not at all surprised by this. It’s as if these girls assumed this guy had a lot of money (resources), which made him instantly more attractive as a mate and provider. (2735)

“Sex is not the only driving force or goal in a man’s life. I think women stereotype us too much with wanting or thinking about sex all the time and it is not entirely true. First of all, we cannot help that it is a biological necessity for us to want to have sex and replicate. The thought of sex will inevitably occur in us men. However, we no longer live in primitive times and the motivations for living a good life are slowly but surely expanding. I ardently believe that there are not only men, but women too who see life as being more than the goal of survival and replication. There is a greater purpose to our existence and ironically the survival of our species depends on those people finding and living it out.”

Though I agree with the author of this comment in that men do not ONLY think about sex, I found it surprising that they “see life as being more than the goal of survival and replication.” I believe that the need to reproduce in order to survive is a subconscious and psychological push. We do not consciously think about ‘reproducing for the survival of the species' all the time, instead the need to want to have sex is an evolutionary adaptation in order for us to reproduce. Our species would not be able to survive if it did not depend on reproduction. If there is a greater purpose to our existence it would be impossible to find if people were not subconsciously pushed to reproduce and create offspring that are more adapted to a more advanced environment. (7528)

Previous classes:

There are many instances that I can recall that the opposite gender has been nice to me because of my gender. The underlying reason for many of these instances was to get me to lift, replace, or fix something.” I believe that evolutionary, guys are just stronger and bigger then females; therefore, whenever someone needs help picking something up that seems to be heavy, they just simply ask the guys. (4103).

“Women tend to be more nurturing, caring, and emotional. Everyone goes through emotional hardships in life, and I feel that women are the best to go to in those types of situations. At the same time, I feel that women bring too much emotion into life events which seems to bring more harm than good. Men are a different kind of care taker in that they seem to provide for the opposite sex. Men are also seen as protectors which is a positive attribute. At the same time, men are bad communicators and tend to be more promiscuous.”

“In the past I have dealt with girlfriends that absolutely go ballistic if you talk to another girl. My personality is naturally flirtatious and I had a girl lose it whenever I would talk with another girl. Something that I think is not a problem at all suddenly transformed into a fight over nothing. I found it puzzling that they would get so mad over something so little when they know it is part of who I am.” I found this funny because it so clearly emits what evolutionary psychologists have been telling us. Women are more concerned about emotional cheating because evolutionarily, they are more concerned with where the male’s resources will be allocated. Girls don’t know why they get jealous so easily, but subconsciously it’s biological, not anything they have control over. (2431)

This response depicts the gender differences regarding sexual attitudes and relationships. Women tend to invest more emotionally in relationships, than do men, which is likely due to males’ lack of paternity assurance. This results in men generally being more promiscuous than women and desiring multiple sexual partners. Females often become insecure as a result and act overly emotional. (8531)

I love the way woman look, the way they are able to express their emotions so freely, the way they can read the emotions of others and act accordingly, and how nurturing they are and ready to help others. I dislike how gossipy women can be and how they are so willing to backstab each other to make themselves look good. I also dislike how woman will sometimes pry information out of others that may not want to talk about what they are feeling. (3297)
It’s interesting that the question seems to elicit this response that is stereotypically “female.” When I read this, it is very obvious that it does not apply to men. It is possible to like/dislike a trait in women that is also found in men. (4640)

4. "2.There are many things that I like about women. I like the way that their smile can light up a whole room. I like the way that take extra care in the little things that I and other men may just gloss over. I like the way that they can read emotional cues and body language that would go unnoticed by guys. I like the way that they care. How they want to know what is going on in your life and want to do everything in their power to fix even the smallest problems that you may be having. On the other hand, I dislike how play games when it comes to their own issues. Beating around the bush that is. When they have a problem and say that nothing is wrong but are upset when you do not push them to tell you the issue. (7858)"

I believe this response contains a number of good examples of gender differences predicted by evolutionary psychology. For one, the beginning of the comment which says, “I like the way that they can read emotional cues and body language that would go unnoticed by guys” is indicative of the fact that women have a greater capacity to read facial expressions and emotional cues, as discussed in Brizendine’s The Female Brain. Further, the next sentences which addresses the tendency for women to care more and be more nurturing could relate back to parental investment theory. Finally, I believe that the final paragraph of the response, which deals with women’s tendency to “play games” and not address problems, relates to the gender difference that prescribes that women value relationships and group harmony more than men, and that they may not want to rock the boat and risk harming a relationship. (4669)

“I dislike that they complain about problems but don’t ever feel the need to solve them.”
Brizendine discusses this issue of women complaining about their problems and men trying to solve them in her book The Male Brain. She discusses how women and men are fundamentally different in the way they express emotions, and this is largely a biological phenomenon. The reason women and men differ is because women use their mirror-neuron system to feel emotional empathy. While this system is also activated in men, it only stays active for a few seconds before switching over to the temporal-parietal junction system. In effect, men do feel emotion the same as women, but they have an ability to quickly channel this emotional empathy to help women resolve their problems because they can activate their temporal-parietal junction system. However, this often leaves women feeling like the man is not sympathetic to their feelings because women do not want solutions to their problems they simply want someone to listen (7437).


Women tend to be more nurturing, caring, and emotional. Everyone goes through emotional hardships in life, and I feel that women are the best to go to in those types of situations. At the same time, I feel that women bring too much emotion into life events which seems to bring more harm than good. Men are a different kind of care taker in that they seem to provide for the opposite sex. Men are also seen as protectors which is a positive attribute. At the same time, men are bad communicators and tend to be more promiscuous.
This stood out to me as the sex differences attributed to women for nurturing of offspring and being able to read situations to better fend off males and enemies and the male prowess of polygamy to promote their seed to ensure the continuation of their genes. (6503)

“The physical characteristics that attract me to a female would be their breasts, butt, waist, face, and eyes. As far as personality goes humor and self confidence and being low key are very important. I would say the most important factor would be, prior to meeting physical attributes, after meeting demeanor and mannerism around me. (6163)”

Every single male response referred to physical characteristics. This was a key example. I think that this reinforces the evolutionary perspective that men are innately keyed into physical characteristics. (5680)


“A situation that has been confusing to me, with the opposite sex, is when you are out with a female and they get offended or upset when you make a comment about another female or just look at another female. It makes me wonder if they are really that insecure about themselves that they have to be made to thought they are the only female in the universe the moment they are with you. The thought process which females have puzzles me. What could they possibly be thinking that they think they are not guilty of finding other people attractive, they are also just human. The only difference is they don’t say anything and may observe someone of the opposite sex more discretely. When it comes down to it all I can think of to explain this is that they would rather just not know what we really think and just want to know and see what makes them, feel secure. Personally I don’t mind a female looking at someone else or making a comment, this make me feel more trusting of them since they don’t feel the need to hide things.”

Based on what we’ve learned about mating systems, I can understand now that this “irrational” feeling of jealousy we females get is actually more preprogramed. Females don’t like emotional infidelity, because that means that a male may be spending his resources elsewhere, instead of supporting us and our offspring. (6943)

One year I was in Mammoth and got really bad food poisoning and I was staying in a house with 5 girls and 3 guys. All the girls were happy to bring me food or water while I was sick simply because of their caring nature. However, my guy friends that were there could care less whether or not I felt okay, they knew I would be okay the next day, but the girls were very compassionate. (3617)

I found this story to completely demonstrate a difference between males and females. Females innately have a nurturing side. Evolutionary psychology would appreciate this story as it clearly demonstrates parental qualities that females hold. (2473)

“I think that women misunderstand the competition that men have with one another, and how males are drawn to sports in particular.”
This comment demonstrates the male tendency towards competition and even aggression, both of which are essential in securing a mate. 8447


"I feel that most women expect men to be mind readers. Granted, women are better all around communicators but I feel that a lot is hidden in their nonverbal signals. I feel that men are held at fault for not picking up on these nonverbal cues and are held accountable for it. (5343)"

From evolutionary psychology, it may be that the corpus callosum in the female brain is thicker than it is in the male brain. If this is true, it would mean that there are more neural connections between the left and right hemispheres which allows females to communicate their feelings and emotions more easily. (0516)

“Money and status are things that the opposite sex...look for. They don’t like the men, they like the men’s status and financial background”
This seems to go along with the evolutionary concept that women look for resources in a mate. Although I think I disagree slightly with this statement made by the male. This seems outdated, and we can’t use this generalization anymore. (1160)

4. “The last time I was attracted to a female definitely started with their physical appearance. “
Every single answer started with physical attractiveness for this question. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing, I just found it interesting that this so clearly illustrated such a sex difference (9977)


“The opposite sex seems to believe that all men care/think about is sex. Yes it is true that men very often think of sex, but that is not the most important thing to men nor is that all men think about. I believe that women think about sex just as much as men do but women either do not like to admit it, do not know how to handle their feelings or fail to act upon their emotions/urges to protect their reputations/image.


This is a good example of the differences males and females look for in mating. Women tend to think that all men think about is sex, because evolutionarily speaking, men are more sexually indiscriminate, value fertility over status in a mate, prefer sexual partner variety to increase odds of reproductive success, and are more commitment avoidant. All of these aspects are more directly linked to the sexual act itself, rather than the potential outcome of the act (i.e. parental investment) and relationship formation, which are more female-centered concerns for mating in evolution. So, while women might think about sex too, we are wired to think about it in a different capacity than men. (3512)

"I think that women misunderstand the competition that men have with one another, and how males are drawn to sports in particular. (0383)"

I think this shows the differences predicted by evolutionary psychology because in many species the male is competing to be strongest and toughest male to be able to mate with the particular female. The winner of the competition shows off his good genes. Men are programmed to be drawn to sports because it has been an important part in reproducing and surviving throughout evolutionary history. Women have not typically been known to win the attention of a man through physical violence. (2811)


There are many characteristics that make me physically attracted to the opposite sex. I enjoy a women who is psychically attract (cute face, nice body) but it is important to me that she isn’t overconfident about her looks. I am attracted to a women who is confident about herself and who she is. I am also attracted to a women who is flirty and directs her attention towards me only. I find it attractive when women feel comfortable to let their guard down around me and act themselves. When a girl feels comfortable to act weird and silly around me is one of the most important factors that attract me to women. I also enjoy a women who is adventurous, serious when necessary, funny, family oriented, caring and genuine.”
&
“I’ve been dumped for not doing anything wrong. She left for an older guy who was an asshole. After a couple years she apologized and admitted I wasn’t in fault and that she just had an urge to date a different type of guy and that it was a mistake. It seems like girls don’t know what they want until later in life. She was burned out on the asshole guys and wanted to start dating again.”

Both of these quotes show the predictions that evolutionary psychology has on male vs. female attraction. The first comment on what a male finds attractive first brings up “physical attract[ion],” which includes a “cute face” and “nice body.” The word “cute” could align with neotonus features that males are expected to find attractive, and “nice body” usually includes an hourglass figure, signaling fertility. In terms of personality, he says to like a confident, but not overconfident girl. This could show he wants a girl who is attractive (therefore confident), but not being overconfident could relate to less EPC’s and polyandry. Lastly, “family-oriented” would mean, evolutionarily, that his offspring would be better cared for and have better survival. The second quote shows how women will choose older men, versus the juvenile-looking/fertile females males would prefer. Older males generally correlate with increased wealth, meaning better parental care in terms of resource value and contribution. (4929)

“I remember this one time when I was helping a friend with moving and she kept on commenting how that because I’m a man carrying all the heavy things, I should be fed more for lunch that day.”
This situation embodies the evolutionary adaptations that have emerged to differentiate males and females. The male helping his female friend move is employing his strength and physical prowess to lift heavier items that evolved over time due to male dominance fighting for food, territory, and reproductive opportunities allowing for survival while the female tended to the home structure. Ironically, the female mentions that he should be fed more for lunch further demonstrating the differences between the sexes as women possess an inherent tendency to nurture and take care of others. (9234)

“1. I have a friend who may be the sweetest girl in the world. She is very smart and usually gives my friends, male and female, good advice about dating and relationships. However she has a propensity for falling for guys who are complete assholes and who treat her like shit. She currently likes this guy who a majority of our mutual friends feel is a douche bag. He is rude and inconsiderate not only to her but to us as well. The kicker is that this guy is not even particularly attractive. I think this just goes to show that even the best girls have a thing for arrogant, rude assholes. I just can’t comprehend why women are attracted to men who treat them so badly.”

I think this comment touches on an interesting phenomenon. It’s confusing that women often seem to go for men who treat them badly, but I think this can be looked at from an evolutionary perspective. Not ALL women are attracted to arrogant, rude assholes, but those that are may subconsciously think that if a man acts this way, he is exhibiting a sense of power, which from an evolutionary standpoint could mean protection from predators. (7453)

"…I also dislike their need for constant commitment even before any real relationship status has been established. (6163)"
I think this comment is particularly relevant in highlighting gender differences because women generally do seek a high level of commitment, especially if they are interested in the man as a potential partner. Based on evolutionary psychology, for the most part a female will only show interest in a male if she believes he is going to put effort into caring for her and her offspring. Females don't want to waste time on males that will not provide what they need, so they are much more likely to demand commitment. Males, on the other hand, don't want to be committed to just one female, so they tend to shy away from this female desire. (8359)


“There are a few different things I like about the opposite sex. One, women are very compassionate and caring. They have a certain motherly instinct that is very comfortable to be around. Second, women tend to be very organized for the most part. It is nice to leave the cluttered life of a man and go to a place that looks half ways decent. Third, and going close together with being organized, women take good care of themselves. They tend to look nicer and have better hygiene then men do. There are also some qualities that aren’t as positive about the opposite sex. Women seem to be very attention oriented. It is as if they need constant acknowledgement and reassurance. I feel that this need for reassurance comes from women's insecurity, which I see as a second negative attribute. This insecurity gives way to jealousy which is another factor that is difficult to deal with. As stated in the earlier response, women tend to act irrationally or bring too much emotion into things. In general women tend to be seen as being too dramatic in a relationship compared to how men behave. (5343)”
This comment, along with many other of the guys comments in response to this questions, emphasizes how men like how women tend to be very “motherly”. It’s funny because often girls tend to cater to things guys like, ex: dressing up, staying thin, etc. But girls don’t go out and think about, how can I act “motherly” in front of guys today? Nevertheless, this is at the top of many guys lists! (1109)

“Physical appearance first. Honest self-confidence second. Reciprocity of interest third. Personality fourth. Though this is ultimately the most important factor.”
Obsession with the physical appearance is a key sex difference predicted by evolutionary psychology. All the male comments about what attracts them to the opposite sex, every answer began with physical appearance; it was a key factor in determining if they were attracted to someone. In class we’ve discussed the female appearance in depth and how it’s the main predictor of fertility. After learning this, it’s not surprising that men mainly focus on appearance. It is because they were designed to do so in order to successfully reproduce. Women on the other hand seem less focused on the appearance of a male, although it is an important factor. One goal for women in regards to reproduction is finding a male how can provide for her and their child; they need to have enough resources to ensure their child survival. Therefore, men and women place different level of importance on physical appearance. (4610)

I think women’s strengths are their ability to caring, understanding, and compassionate. Women are generally more in touch with their emotions and are better at reading other people’s emotions. Since they are good at recognizing the emotions of others, women are extremely good at empathizing with other people. I think women’s weakness is their ability to let their emotions get the best of them. When a woman is hurt, whether she is angry, sad, or any other mood, she tends to act impulsively and irrationally.

I think that this was a very good example of one of the main gender differences between men and women. As we’ve learned through part of the class there is an evolutionary function as to why women tend to act more caring, and emotionally empathetic in a given situation. For example, in the cases of emergency, a woman may be more inclined to ensure that their loved ones are all right, whereas men may feel more inclined to solve the problem. (3886)


“I really like how girls are fairly good at expressing emotional intimacy. They don’t shy away from expressing their emotions, whether it’s sad or happy or frustrated. Also, their talkative nature is actually nice in helping to continue conversation but also they are very engaging at the same time. With that, women are quite sociable and don’t shy away from having small talk or a full serious talk. It’s always great having a girlfriend as well as girl friends that are willing and ready to chat, whether it’s about normal day-to-day things or serious/emotional topics. Women are very organized and this is great because I am not as organized as I’d like; they tend to be very tidy and clean which is definitely a plus in my book. Lastly, I love that women are very warm and caring. It means a lot to have a guy be there for you but a girl friend adds a different level of nurturing and gentle care to a conversation or a moment.” – My focus is on the comment made about girls being more nurturing than men may be. I see that as due to having an innate need to take care of something. Whether a women becomes a mother or not, she has a need to take care of something and sometimes she can project that onto her friends or significant others.





5. ...you found to be, in general, surprising and/or particularly interesting?


I feel like women misunderstand the intentions of men at times specifically in terms of relationships, dating, and sex. Like all men are not always and only trying to sleep with women. At different times, men can be looking for other things like an actual relationship. Men have goals and desires for long term commitment too, but I will admit that since men can shift it can be somewhat confusing. If feel like many girls just think guys lead them on for sex; I would hope that no guy would ever intentionally lead someone else on. (9698)

Reading this response was actually really nice to hear. I do believe a lot of time guys get a rap when it comes to commitment. I think as women, we need to realize that not all men are the same and to categorize them as such is extremely unfair. It was refreshing to read that a guy acknowledges that sometimes men do want sex, but it does not mean that ALL men want sex and no commitment. (0224).

“I went on a date with a girl and at the end of the date, she asked me to drop her off at a place near her house. I was confused by this incident and it had me pondering a lot about the situation. Did she think I was a stalker? Is she self-conscious about her house? I narrowed down the possibilities to those two but I am still not sure to this day. I think it would be a function of her gender because I think females worry about their safety more than men do. I know if I were in that situation, I would definitely ask my date to drop me off at my house. Even if she was a stalker, I am confident I would be able to defend myself. I wouldn’t be too self-conscious about my house because if it somehow affected the way she viewed me, then I would know she isn’t right for me anyway.”

I found this surprising that a guy would jump to conclusions about her thinking about her house in that way and a stalker? Sounds like a guy who is self-conscious and CSI EVERYTHING TOO MUCH. Didn’t realize girls are not the only ones that always try to find a reason for everything. (4610)

“ How much males think and talk about sex. (5966)”

This comment was interesting to me because I asked my boyfriend the same question and he said that males do think about sex a lot. Obviously there are some males who are rules to the exception, but I think the average man does think about having sex with the opposite sex a lot. We’ve talked about the Coolidge effect and how males will continuously copulate just so his seed can have a chance at making it into the next generation. It’s all about reproductive opportunity, so maybe males thinking about sex a lot is an example of their reproductive instincts (7643).

5.
"Overall, I think the most admirable trait of the female gender is its ability to love and care for others. Women seem to tap into these wells of thoughtfulness and consideration that try as I might, I will never find. "
What i found most surprising is that men actually like that women care and empathize. Even though they understand that its something they struggle with, I found it interesting that they appreciate that about us. 4575

"I have gone to parties a few times in groups where I was the only guy or one of two, so all the girls treated me very nicely because of this. I was the center of most of the conversations, everyone was interested in my life and what I had to say, and they were all generally just kind. I genuinely think that this was because I was a guy in a group of girls because if I had just been another one of the girls, I would not have been given that much attention. (3297)"
I found this comment surprising because it reminded me of times when I definitely felt a need to give the sole member of the opposite sex in a group of women a lot of attention. I’ve felt this pull before, but never really reflected upon it or wondered whether the opposite sex noticed. I think part of the reason that women might give the sole male in a group lots of attention because we may be feeling some sense of intrasexual competition to receive attention in return. Even if we’re not vying for sexual contact, I think women might still feel the impulse to engage in a little bit of competition. (9166)

“Something I like about females is how goofy and happy they act around their closest friends (usually females). Whereas men usually chat or do activities, women girls act extremely silly and entertain each other seemlessly for hours. I also like how they share everything with these close friends where men are more solitary. (8832)”
This comment is interesting for me because it reveals how men, even towards their closest friends, act in ways to maintain their masculinity. To my closest friends, I act without thinking about how they would judge me or think of me in a negative way. For men, if they act the way women act it might affect their “macho” appearance. (2590)

5. “The most puzzling part of this is that these bouts of jealousy seem to often occur right after moments of pure contentment or intimacy between my girlfriend and I. It literally feels like there is a switch on the back of the head that turns on the bad vibes.”

I was surprised that this writer was surprised that the bouts of jealousy occurred after moments of pure contentment or intimacy. It seems that his girlfriend would be more likely to get jealous after contentment or intimacy because she would feel very attached to him. She may get jealous more easily after intimacy because it may make her feel more vulnerable and she wants to be sure that he is going to invest in her. This may show a sex difference of how males are less emotionally aware. (8778)

Things like being a gentleman (e.g. paying for the first date, doing small tasks etcetera). It seems like females usually welcome any inequality that work in their favor, which I cannot say I really blame them for because there are many more that benefit males. (5966)”
  1. a. I thought this was an interesting response because it addressed a topic I have struggled to understand. Specifically, the topic of feminism. As a female, I think it is obvious to be a feminist, and to believe and want equality of the sexes, so I do identify as a feminist. However, I do enjoy, when men make the first move and pay when going on dates, or open the car door etcetera. While I do see that this can be seen as unequal treatment, I do not think that it discounts my identity as a feminist. I think these tasks and actions simply show that the other person is interested and I will sometimes do similar things, like buy friends coffee or open doors for strangers, male or female. I do agree though that, inequality can be accepted if it works in a female’s favor. The point brought up about how it is ok because males usually are treated better in other ways made me laugh and found it interesting that this person was able to realize this and express this, as I feel other men sometimes act oblivious to the hardships faced by women today (6700).


5. “I believe that the one thing that women most misunderstand about men is that the actions and flaws that they complain about us having are actually, whether they realize it or not, reinforced by how they treat and interact with us. Women complain about men being shallow and insensitive and treating them badly. However women are just as shallow in their dealings with men, and they are the ones who put up with and who are even attracted to men who treat them in these ways. If women didn’t date assholes then maybe they wouldn’t complain about their boyfriends treating them like dirt. I’m not saying that women who make mistakes like this deserve men treating them the way they do. No one deserves to be treated badly. All I’m saying is that women have a lot more control over the situation than they think.”

I found this comment very interesting because it is actually true. I had not thought about this before, but women often do hold men to some impossible double standard. On one end women want a man that is “dominant”, “masculine”, and “in control,” yet they complain about how men are disrespectful. I agree with what he wrote that women reinforce these actions by seeking out these qualities in men, but they also criticize and complain about these actions. It is interesting because it doesn’t make sense why women would do this, but we do. (1904)


7. Whenever I am having a bad day, or seemed stress, my girlfriend is always there to support me. Whether it's a hug or a back massage or just sitting me down and asking me to tell her what's wrong, she is always being the perfect supporter and personal cheerleader for me. While I can find support from male friends, she can give me comfort in a way that no one else can. (0645)
I thought this post was very interesting because of the amount of support that his girlfriend gives him in comparison to his male friends. Even though women are regarded as being too emotional, or thinking too deeply about things, it this characteristic that helps them comfort their significant others better in comparison to their male friends.(0974)

“#4. Because I was already very attracted to that person any characteristic of that person that I thought about seemed captivating. But looking back, I can say that it was primarily her looks (i.e. face and physique) and secondarily her seeming friendliness and openness towards me (the fact that she made me feel like I was able to entertain her more effectively than other males). She had a very kind personality but could also be surprising and fun on occasion. She also seemed to have a lot of friends, which I thought would be indicative of her desirability. (5966)”
I found this post surprising and interesting because it is good to know that although initially attraction is based on looks, as I believe it is the same for women, the fact that women giving more attention to males and having many friends was intriguing. I find this important because it is not often that men admit that they like to be the center of another woman’s attention and that they find it as an attractive quality. Also, having a lot of friends was something I found to be different because I never realized how the people you surround yourself with could affect a man’s interpretation of you. (6955)

“My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis.”

Rape is typically only addressed in the case of females because we are prone to these types of things happening. However, rape cases against males, as seen in this example, are often dismissed because we are trained to see men as the penetrators as opposed to victims. We are taught that men are the ones at fault when it comes to rape, but women can only be victims of rape. It’s a sad reality and I apologize, on behalf of my gender, to the men who end up with there cases turned down or not even heard. (9398)



“It was almost always someone who could put me in my place. Maybe it’s because I grew up surrounded by strong women, but I gravitate towards women who can hold their own.” (6438)
This comment surprised me because it was – literally – the only comment that did not mention a woman’s physical appearance when talking about what attracts them to women. To be clear, I think it is acceptable for a man (or woman!) to value physical attractiveness. For most men answering this question, it was the first thing they mentioned. I don’t know that this has any moral implication attached to it necessarily, but I was definitely very shocked to this comment. (3597)

“Girls most misunderstand that when a guy says “I’m fine” it’s either because he truly is fine or because he doesn’t want to talk about what’s wrong. It honestly has NOTHING to do with you. It doesn’t mean we’re mad at you or that we dislike you or that we don’t want to open up specifically to you. It just means that we don’t want to talk about it. (0150)”
I love this comment because it reminds me of the miscommunication that my boyfriend and I have all the time. When I say “I’m fine”, I’m mad at him, while if he says “I’m fine” I misinterpret this saying to have the same deeper meaning as when I say it; therefore, I continue to ask him what is wrong with him, which frustrates him because in actuality there really isn’t anything wrong with him at all! (2735)

“7. At work once a female co-worker assisted me in unloading the weekly delivery of boxes of paper instead of assuming I would do it just because I was the male. Having someone assume a task is yours simply because of your gender gets old after awhile and it’s a nice change when a woman expects equality but also grants equality. (6163)”
This is an interesting point here. Whether male or female, we should be respected for being capable of other tasks besides what society assigns to our gender. I absolutely think that women should be conscious of also living a life of gender equality, rather than just demanding it of others. (2735)

“6. My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis. (5768)”
This is such a depressing story. It brings up the important issue that anyone can be a victim of rape; it’s sad that the justice system assumes that men are always in control, if not the perpetrators, even in the case of intoxication. I’m truly sad for his friend. (2735)

There have been many instances in the past in which my girlfriend has expressed sudden jealousy and anger when I give attention to other people. Obviously, one could expect interactions with other girls to be a problem, with fears of undue flirting. However, this also occurs when I am giving attention to my male friends as well. While this could possibly be due in part to personality, I am convinced that it must mainly be an issue of gender. For one, I have had similar experiences with other women in my life ( e.g. my mom). Also, I cannot think of any male friend, family member, or acquaintance who has ever remotely displayed such a reaction.
The most puzzling part of this is that these bouts of jealousy seem to often occur right after moments of pure contentment or intimacy between my girlfriend and I. It literally feels like there is a switch on the back of the head that turns on the bad vibes. With my mom, it seems to be more of a suppressed indignation over the family's general lack of appreciation for her efforts as a provider and organizer. When times are good, there's no mention of any problem. However, as soon as a dish is broken, or a trash bag is not taken out, there is hell to pay for how hard she strives to help the family "survive", and how little I or my father does to assist in the campaign.
I found this to be surprising, because I feel that men can be equally as possessive as women are. I believe that the man who made this statement was biased, because he has not seen the way that men are possessive of female friends or partners. I think this is a misconception of women, that we are more “moody” than men are. I know this does not apply in my family. My mother is much cooler headed than my father is. If anything, he is the one who is more possessive in the family, and creates the most drama. I have also had male friends who were very dramatic, and could turn nasty at the drop of a hat. I have seen several relationships fall apart because the many become anxious or depressed for a period of time and loses his confidence in his relationship. (7316)

"For a friends birthday we were having a party and my female friends took it upon themselves to plan it all take care of food and cake and stuff and told me just go get the alcohol. There was no discussion or even asking if I wanted to do something else they just gave me the easy thing they though I wouldn’t mess up despite it being for my closest friend."

I found this particularly interesting because it never truly occurred to me the extent to which women do in some ways belittle men through our assumption that they can’t handle detail-oriented tasks. I personally probably would have done a similar thing in the same situation because there is a general assumption that women are more trustworthy in terms of event planning and when it comes to social events/ detail oriented things. It was good for me to see that that is actually something that could hurt a man or be recognized as unfair treatment, because I always somewhat assumed that they would want as little responsibility as possible in things like this. Seeing it now it makes a lot of sense why this is a poor approach. (1569)

“The opposite sex seems to believe that all men care/think about is sex. Yes it is true that men very often think of sex, but that is not the most important thing to men nor is that all men think about. I believe that women think about sex just as much as men do but women either do not like to admit it, do not know how to handle their feelings or fail to act upon their emotions/urges to protect their reputations/image.”
This is a really interesting comment. I think that men and women are capable of feeling, thinking, and acting the same, but societal expectations paint them into certain boxes. Men are praised for expressing an obsession with sex, whereas women would be called sluts for doing so. I like how this comment suggests that it is more a matter of how each gender deals with their thoughts/emotions, not that they experience different ones. There is a very backwards, odd double standard going on. There is the idea that men only care about sex, even though not all do and even though women do not particularly like the idea. On the other hand, women are not supposed to think about sex, even though they do and even though, in this day and age, men would be more than okay with women admitting it. For both men and women, the way that they deal with their thoughts about sex is influenced by gender norms (7413).

“My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis.”

I was really surprised of this comment not because of the rape remark but because of the attempt to report the incident. I haven’t heard any male rape stories but I am aware that it does happen. It’s just so sad to know that in both male and female rape cases there will always be something that could be used against the victim and have them feel like they just have to deal with it because there "is not" anything that can be done for them. For males, it would be, in this case, an erect penis; and for females, it would be because she was asking basically asking for it or the way she dresses or because she came over to a guy’s place “knowing” what was going to happen. (9119)

“ I went on a date with a girl and at the end of the date, she asked me to drop her off at a place near her house. I was confused by this incident and it had me pondering a lot about the situation. Did she think I was a stalker? Is she self-conscious about her house? I narrowed down the possibilities to those two but I am still not sure to this day. I think it would be a function of her gender because I think females worry about their safety more than men do. I know if I were in that situation, I would definitely ask my date to drop me off at my house. Even if she was a stalker, I am confident I would be able to defend myself. I wouldn’t be too self-conscious about my house because if it somehow affected the way she viewed me, then I would know she isn’t right for me anyway. (5835)”
I found this response to be particularly interesting because it has dealt with an issue I personally faced on two separate occasions. For the first guy, I was driven to my place and he seemed very judgmental about where I lived it seemed because he kept making comments about how his grandmother used to lived similarly and kept staring and observing everything about it. The second time I asked my date to drop me off a few houses before my own home because I didn’t know him well enough as it was our first date and I felt like I didn’t want to risk it. I never really considered that my first date might have felt a little bad for not having him drop me off right at my door, but I was only thinking of my well-being. It is very real and true that women are seen as most vulnerable and thus have greater reason to be very serious about being cautious about the type of men they should attract. (2259)

5. ...you found to be, in general, surprising and/or particularly interesting?
The most misunderstood thing about males is that females believe we are emotionally simple. This is far from the truth males just have different emotions provoked by certain things and even when the same emotions are provoked the way of dealing with said emotion is different for males. Males are just different, not simple.
This is surprising to me because not many men I know seem emotional at all. They put of some front as a heartless jerk. I believed the range of emotion is more simple not the men themselves. (1670)

"My senior year of Highschool, my friend’s girlfriend got into a huge fight with her friend because their prom dresses were too similar. While I assumed such a minor dilemma wouldn’t really be an issue, it resulted in our 40 person prom group splitting apart because each girl refused to be seen with each other. They each created their own new prom groups and tried to recruit as many couples from the original group as possible. As one could imagine, this created even more drama as now girls who weren't at all involved in this dress dispute were now forced to choose between these competing groups. Throughout all this chaos that ruined friendships, me and the majority of my male friends are looking to one another in awe. None of us really cared for the situation and rather were going to just go with whatever group our dates felt most comfortable with. My guess for all of this would be the vast amounts of estrogen in a female's body during puberty caused for a drastic and emotional thought process. (5768)"
I find the situation described to be insanely dramatic—and that’s coming from a woman. I get it; the last thing girls’ want is another girl to have the same exact prom dress as her. Been there, and the same thought occurred to me too. Prom is a special night for a lot of girls and the dress holds great value for this night. But seriously, this situation was blown way out of proportion. I find this really interesting because the girls found out they had the same dress prior to the actual prom night and since they had enough time to split the group, I am sure they both had enough time to return and purchase another dress which would quickly resolve this “issue”. I also find it interesting that men tend to blame dramatic events in a woman’s life on puberty or their time of month. I feel that in itself is immature and insensitive. (6138)

When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite sex…strive way too hard for and become objectified in the process” (5835).
This surprises me because it sounds almost as if the author is blaming girls for males objectifying them. What if some girls just do their hair and make-up to look good so that they feel happy in their appearance. The fact that a girl puts effort in to looking pretty does mean that it is to please and appeal to men. Sometimes it is for themselves and for other women. It is interesting that so may guys said that girls try too hard in their appearance. However, maybe this reveals the sex difference as women who appear attractive are more likely to attract a physically fit mate and therefore have a higher chance of healthy and successful offspring, kind of like the “sexy son hypothesis” we have talked about in class. (5908)

Previous classes:

“The greatest strength that women have is their emotional intelligence. This emotional intelligence is also part of their weaknesses. Women tend to incorporate a great deal of empathy in their everyday lives, which can be beneficial when trying to connect with a person, but can also be detrimental when emotions are used instead of logic.” I’m surprised that this guy sees this as a strength. When I was with my now ex he didn’t like the fact that I was so in love with him and expressed my emotions. Well, he liked the fact that I was in love with him, because at the time he was with me, he just didn’t like that I had to always express that love. I was happy and so since I couldn’t hide it the emotion naturally came out. (7302)

To avoid sexual activity with this person, I would simply continue the date touching them as little as possible. By creating a distance right away, the other person can usually guess that there is no future. A simple gesture like a hug and a kiss on the cheek rather than the lips is also very convincing at the end of the date. In order to stay friends, mention breakfast or coffee plans to catch up at a later date. That way there is no worry for sexual activity after coffee.
Men are not great communicators, and women are not great interpreters. To the men’s defense, this is one of the few responses that I found in this section that didn’t include saying that they would just be open and honest with the girl that they just weren’t sexually interested in them. I was surprised by this response though because as much as guys complain about women being too emotional or over-reactive, this is a classic example of why that may be the case. (2216)

I am relatively different from most guys in that I really dislike trying to persuade girls to go farther than they might want to. If I wanted to be intimate with her, I would simply find the right moment to kiss her and progress things from there. I hate trying to convince girls to do things they might not feel comfortable with so out of respect I usually let them take the lead until I really know their intentions.” This was very interesting for me, because I feel like most guys just want to get you into bed as quickly as possible. It was very refreshing to see that there still are gentlemen in this world (4103).


“Well, one instance would be that I am expected to drive to my girlfriend’s place every week, but she is reluctant to drive to my place. Note that she lives in Chino Hills which takes me an average of an hour to drive to. When I get there, I am expected to pay for dinner as well as the occasional movie that we attend. She doesn’t have a job at the moment, which can explain that, but she could at least drive to visit me on some weeks. (3637)”

I found this interesting because it seems that if you do this often. Your girlfriend most likely just assumes you do not mind. Unless you are not honest with her about how you wished she came to you more often, she will just continue to believe that the situation is okay. In order for your relationship to be successful, you need to communicate how this upsets you, rather than hold it in (2501).

“I distinctly remember when I met my now girlfriend for the first time – I was attracted to everything about her. Her smile was (and remains) contagious, which I remember lifting my spirits whenever I saw her. Her personality and character were (and are) without a doubt my favorite part about her and arguably her most attractive traits now that I know her much better. That is not to say, however, that she is not the most gorgeous girl I have ever laid my eyes on. The reason why I attempted to talk to her in the first place was the fact that she is drop dead gorgeous. I turned around in a class that we shared one day and after being greeted by her beautiful brown eyes I couldn’t get the thought of her out of my head for the rest of the day. Her physical beauty definitely played a strong role in my attraction to her, but for me personally a woman’s personality plays a much larger role. I couldn’t care less about social status.”
I found this post both surprising and reassuring to read. Of course, appearance is one of the driving forces in attraction because that is often the first form of contact two people have. It’s nice to hear that personality matters more to what attracts the opposite sex. (3066)


“I like how different women are then men. They think differently by looking at the world with a more empathetic view and motivate us to be better. I also think women are objectively better looking. I dislike that they complain about problems but don’t ever feel the need to solve them. Any suggestion on what to do usually warrants a negative response. I also feel as though they blow a lot of situations out of proportion by over analyzing them.”

I found this comment to be particularly thoughtful and interesting. I am often guilty of complaining to males then becoming frustrated when they bombard me with possible solutions. It is irrational and strange, but somehow females are not looking for a solution to their problems but more so empathy. (8531)

"I was sitting on a couch at a VIP booth in a night club at Las Vegas. Two girls came up to me and grabbed me off the couch and starting dancing with me. One of them started making out with me because she thought I was a hot guy."
This comment was particularly interesting to me because of how much it repulsed me. This comment just reinforced the thought of how much men enjoy the physical part of relationships. If a guy had done this to a woman, she would have slapped him and thought that was out of line. However, if a woman does this to a guy, it is perfectly alright. (2992)
“I have to be attracted to a girl to be interested in her. But she doesn’t have to be beautiful or gorgeous, just interesting. I know plenty of good looking girls who I’m repulsed by their behavior, beliefs, and lifestyles. I would take a cute girl with a great personality over an extremely attractive woman with a shitty personality. So on top of her physical attractiveness she has to be confident, intelligent, easy going, and have similar goals and ideals. (4073)”
I have heard many men articulate this same idea, “I would take a cute girl with a great personality over a gorgeous girl with a terrible personality.” Men seem to think that because they would settle for “cute” they are no longer superficial. However, this is not the case as men rarely get to know a woman before pursuing her and if a man is going to pursue a woman I would bet that he would go after the more attractive female. (6259)


5. “5. I think women’s strengths are their ability to caring, understanding, and compassionate. Women are generally more in touch with their emotions and are better at reading other people’s emotions. Since they are good at recognizing the emotions of others, women are extremely good at empathizing with other people. I think women’s weakness is their ability to let their emotions get the best of them. When a woman is hurt, whether she is angry, sad, or any other mood, she tends to act impulsively and irrationally. (7737)”

I found it very interesting that many of the male responses recognized women’s empathy, caring disposition and emotional literacy as both one of women’s greatest strengths and also one of their greatest weaknesses. The greater capability for women to read emotions is a gender difference that men seem to both admire and dislike. (4669).

“I like that women are compassionate and tend to be able to comfort me better than my male friends. I dislike that females expect males to be more emotionally available in relationships.”

I found this comment interesting because the individual is saying that he likes that women are emotionally available to help him when he has an issue but he dislikes that women expect him, and all males, to be emotionally available for women (7437).


I have to be attracted to a girl to be interested in her. But she doesn’t have to be beautiful or gorgeous, just interesting. I know plenty of good looking girls who I’m repulsed by their behavior, beliefs, and lifestyles. I would take a cute girl with a great personality over an extremely attractive woman with a shitty personality. So on top of her physical attractiveness she has to be confident, intelligent, easy going, and have similar goals and ideals.
Up until now I don't think Ive ever heard a guy say all he needs to be attracted to a woman is for her to be interesting, but I admire it. (6503)

“The opposite sex seems to believe that all men care/think about is sex. Yes it is true that men very often think of sex, but that is not the most important thing to men nor is that all men think about. I believe that women think about sex just as much as men do but women either do not like to admit it, do not know how to handle their feelings or fail to act upon their emotions/urges to protect their reputations/image.
This was surprising because I believe that it is true. I do believe that females this about sex often (not as much as men, but often); however I agree that women to not call attention to it as much. It was interesting to read that a man wrote that women do not call attention to it as much to try to protect our reputations because at times I do think public image means more to women than to men. (5602)

“ Firstly, I don’t think it’s about how far you want to go sexually. It’s about how far she wants to go. Though if I wanted to know what her physical intentions are I would try to make physical contact to see how she responded. Not aggressively. But try to hold her hand for example. If that goes well then at the end of the date I might try to kiss her. Otherwise, I would let it go and realize that she was not intent on a physical relationship. (7858)”

This was said after being asked what he would do if he were on a date with a woman with whom he wanted to become physically intimate with. I was very surprised to see that a lot of the responses were something similar to this one. They emphasized that it was up to the girl. Intimacy is more about making her feel comfortable with you and not only about how far you want to go. It is refreshing to see that this was the majority response because women have the idea that men are aggressive when it comes to sex. However, seeing responses like this one is a nice surprise. (3651)

“The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to suppress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent.”
I think that males do have these feelings and emotions but are taught at a young age to not show this side of them. They would not reveal this because when being compared to other men, they would want to be seen as macho and showing your emotions are not considered ‘manly’ . I think it is hard for men because it is health to express emotion, but they are encouraged not to. (4049).


“Recently I was at a party where a girl walked up to me and said hi to me. I did not remember if I had met her before but she clearly knew my name so I said “hey have we met before?” She proceeded to scream at me and told me I was in one of her classes and that I should know who she was. She started yelling so loudly that many of the people in the room began to stare at her. I apologized and told her that I felt bad. She refused to listen to anything I had to say as she continued to yell at me calling me an asshole and douche bag. She finally walked away, saying she wished she had never met me. (3800)”

This girl was probably intoxicated. I hope that she is not a representation of female-kind. I find it surprising that someone would act this way; although I can imagine this behavior more coming from a girl than a boy because women are more insecure generally. (5680)

“I can recall this one instance in high school when I was helping some female friends with preparing food for a party, and because I was a male, I was delegated to setting up utensils and platters only because they assumed that I could not cook. (0383)”

I thought this comment was very interesting because it demonstrates how women also perpetuate gender roles. It is a good example of how women limit themselves, possibly because they feel limited by men. I think it would have been better if they at least asked him if he could cook instead of just assigning him some task (9031).

20. It hurts me most when the opposite sex...
Disrespect themselves by being promiscuous. (4073)

I would think that since men are promiscuous, and the girls they are hooking up with are also being promiscuous, they would not see it as disrespecting themselves. Also, it is surprising that this is something that hurts males to see. I guess this just means that hook up buddies are going to be seen as lesser and not potential for a real relationship. (2473)

“ Firstly, I don’t think it’s about how far you want to go sexually. It’s about how far she wants to go. Though if I wanted to know what her physical intentions are I would try to make physical contact to see how she responded. Not aggressively. But try to hold her hand for example. If that goes well then at the end of the date I might try to kiss her. Otherwise, I would let it go and realize that she was not intent on a physical relationship. (7858)”

This was said after being asked what he would do if he were on a date with a woman with whom he wanted to become physically intimate with. I was very surprised to see that a lot of the responses were something similar to this one. They emphasized that it was up to the girl. Intimacy is more about making her feel comfortable with you and not only about how far you want to go. It is refreshing to see that this was the majority response because women have the idea that men are aggressive when it comes to sex. However, seeing responses like this one is a nice surprise. (3651)



"I’ve been dumped for not doing anything wrong. She left for an older guy who was an asshole. After a couple years she apologized and admitted I wasn’t in fault and that she just had an urge to date a different type of guy and that it was a mistake. It seems like girls don’t know what they want until later in life. She was burned out on the asshole guys and wanted to start dating again. (4073)"

This surprised me because it would seem that this person was describing a male. For the most part, I have always thought it was males who don’t know what they want until later in life. It could just be a gender stereotype but this was an interesting comment because I had never heard a male comment on a female not knowing what she wants in comparison to himself. (0516)



5. The opposite sex seems clueless about spotting gay men (0645)
First of all, I am shocked that this was the first thing that this guy came up with… but other than that, I think women are great at spotting gay men, or at least they aren’t particularly bad at it. Overall, this comment just did not sit well with me (9977)

“Not every guy is trying to get into your pants. Although it is true that some guys only seek relationships with girls for sexual reasons, I feel like a good majority of males seek relationships with girls that are not at all sexual. A male could genuinely be trying to ask a girl if she wants to study for a test with him and a good portion of females would misinterpret this as something that it's not. (5768)”
This response is particularly interesting to me because I must admit, that I am guilty of often assuming that a guy is just trying to get in my pants. I do agree that there are many men out there who are sincerely approaching a woman for a nonsexual purposes, but in my experience, that usually hasn't been the case. Thus, I am always on the defense and may assume a guy is trying to “get in my pants” just because it has happened so many times in the past. Although it is not fair to judge every man that comes my way as a sleaze, in a sense, it is a defense mechanism. I realize now that it may come off as conceded to think that every guy wants to sleep with me. Being aware of my tendency to judge men before I know them, is the first step in modifying my behavior. (7732)

“I do not know of any particular strengths and weaknesses that are sex-specific. I think I read somewhere once that women have higher tolerance to pain in order to handle the pain of childbirth? I never really fact-checked that one. As far as I know, any strengths that men have come from living in a male-dominated society that subjugates women, creating weaknesses in them.”
I was surprised by this response because it was the only one that did not say something about communication or emotional intelligence for strengths and, for weaknesses, was one of the few that did not say something about regarding complaining, over-analyzing, etc. (7982)
“When I first met my girlfriend, the first attraction was purely physical. I was struck by how pretty her face was, and then secondly attracted to the shape of her body. However, what made her stick in my mind was her "cool" almost aloof manner. She did not give me a particularly warm "girly" greeting. Instead, it was a polite greeting, and a general sense of disinterest in me. I am not sure if this made me crazy about her because she seemed so unattainable, or something else. However, my attraction to her deepened when I was informed by a friend that in fact she was incredibly attracted to me, and was attempting not to over-play her hand.”

I found this interesting when looking at a comment made by another male student, where he talked about how he disliked how women are ambiguous and might mean something different than what they actually say. I guess it depends on the situation in which a woman is being ambiguous and the way it is played out. The ambiguity above is more indirect and not about trying to manipulate the guy to find out how she really feels, but rather about trying to gauge interest and maintain her own self without appearing pandering. This difference between the two situations is fascinating. (3512)

"The opposite sex seems clueless about...how dumb men are. I feel that women give men too much credit. Men act accordingly with how they feel in a particular situation. Women think that men have elaborate plans for self benefit or to sabotage the opposite sex. (5343)"

I thought this was very interesting because most of the time (and throughout the responses) men argue that they ARE more complex than women give them credit for. I think it brings up the point that women can be confusing because we assume that men are simple when it comes to analyzing situations, but we worry constantly that they are coming up with an intricate plan against us…yet we already established that men are “simple”. It’s contradictory. (2811)

“I have a friend who may be the sweetest girl in the world. She is very smart and usually gives my friends, male and female, good advice about dating and relationships. However she has a propensity for falling for guys who are complete assholes and who treat her like shit. She currently likes this guy who a majority of our mutual friends feel is a douche bag. He is rude and inconsiderate not only to her but to us as well. The kicker is that this guy is not even particularly attractive. I think this just goes to show that even the best girls have a thing for arrogant, rude assholes. I just can’t comprehend why women are attracted to men who treat them so badly.”
Many of the male answers referenced the tendency for females to date ‘assholes’ or men who mistreat them, regardless of the girl’s personality. I find this specific perception by men to be particularly interesting because I do not think those that remain in unhealthy relationships solely include women. I have encountered this tendency to manifest in both males and females dependent on the dynamic of both the relationship and the individual. I find it interesting that males tend to only attribute this to be characteristic of females only. (9234)


“5. Their strengths are their ability to be empathetic, give an alternative perspective, and ability to communicate once in a relationship. Their weaknesses are their constant need for validation of their qualities and over analyzing of things. I would say they can be a bit too emotional. (4073)”

I thought this comment was interesting, and it was similar to many other comments in response to the same question. It seems as though men view women’s capacity to be emotional both as a strength and as a weakness. They appreciate that women are able to communicate because they are more in touch with their emotions, yet at the same time feel we are overly emotional. (7453)


"I don’t believe that this situation would ever exist. Why would someone be going out on a date with someone else whom they are not, at least a little, physically attracted to? What kind of heterosexual male would not like it if the girl they were dating were physically attracted to them? (3637)"
This comment is really interesting because I think maybe girls would be more likely to end up in this scenario. If a woman realizes during a date that the guy is not an ideal sexual partner or that there's not a "spark" even if she thought there might have been before, then she will decide then and there that no physical intimacy should take place. It may also take her a while to determine whether she is interested in pursuing a physical relationship with a person or whether she just wants to be friends. Women have to be a lot more selective about who they are intimate with because they have much more to lose if they get pregnant. Men on the other hand are much more likely to be physical even if they are not sure they want to commit to the girl because they don't have very much to lose. (8359)


“I would probably tell her that it isn’t going to work out between us or that we should see other people. I would try not to tell her that it’s because I’m not physically attracted to her but if she were to insist on knowing the reason I wouldn’t lie to her. I would just tell her in a kind and sensitive way. (7737)”
In answering this question, many of the males said that they would be upfront with the girl and tell her that he isn’t into her “like that”, or that he wants to be just friends, etc. I think that this is interesting because it exemplifies how straightforward guys are. I feel like a lot of girls aren’t straightforward like this, and although they might “say” that they would simply tell a guy they just want to be friends, a lot of girls might use more subtle forms of rejection.(1109)

"Females are for one, very caring. They are excellent at taking others' problems and internalizing them as their own to assist in helping to find solutions. Also, they tend to be much more organized than men. I rely on the women in my life to keep me on track with my appointments and cleaning of my room. Finally, women are very generous and will express their generosity even when it is not necessary.
For weaknesses, women tend to think emotionally, rather than logically. Also, while they are very detail-oriented it can sometimes bog them down with seemingly useless facts or analysis of situations. Also, constructive criticism can easily be interpreted as a personal attack to them." (0645)


What I found interesting about this comment is how men find women to be very organized compared to themselves. I have noticed that their rooms are far more cluttered but I do not think that it is due to a lack of organization skills, I think it is more of a laziness/carelessness issue for men. (3007)

"One of the greatest strengths that women possess is emotional intelligence. That is, being able to read emotional cues and body language in almost every situation. One of their biggest weakness is questioning themselves."
It is very admirable that this guy brings up the point of girls being able to read emotional cues and body language. Most of the time I think guys find this to be a bad thing because they see it as girls looking too much into detail and perceiving the situation as something that is not. I always think I can understand my boyfriend better even when he doesn't say anything and I'm pretty proud of this ability but I never thought guys cared much for it. (8436)

“In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when...when I can talk about masturbation with my bros openly”
I actually laughed out loud at this one. I don’t know any men that speak openly about their frequency of masturbation. I find that very strange, and I don’t know why a female would become jealous of her boyfriend talking about masturbating with his friends. (1160)

I feel that most women expect men to be mind readers. Granted, women are better all around communicators but I feel that a lot is hidden in their nonverbal signals. I feel that men are held at fault for not picking up on these nonverbal cues and are held accountable for it.

On a personal note, I particularly found this quote to be a bit surprising. I would never expect a man to be able to read my mind. I feel like I am very aware that the men I know are far from this. Some times knowing that men don’t have a great deal of perception when it comes to women’s feelings comes to an advantage for me. Nonetheless, I don’t have too many expectations when it comes to men being aware of my feelings, but I can see how this may be a big deal for women. (3886)

“The girl I asked out rejected me by telling me that she was flattered and attracted to me, but she was seeing someone at the time. I appreciated her answer being clear and concise, but in addition to being secure with herself, the tone she used was very casual which did not make the situation awkward.” (2618)—Many times women overreact to men asking them out, more in light of feminist issues because of the idea of them needing to fight against cat calls. I found this surprising because it’s the appropriate way to act when faced with having to reject someone.

“I was really good friends with a girl and I had developed feelings for her. I knew she was in a relationship, so that was difficult. I knew she wouldn't end the relationship, but at the same time from my end it was so tough being her friend because my feelings were just too strong. So I felt that I had to admit my feelings for her so that we could try to move forward as friends. I admit that I probably should have figured out a more concise or better way of telling her, but I look back and wish she just looked at me and listened while I was speaking to her. Or that she would have been more open to talking about it after I had finished telling her. Or that she approached me about it earlier when she knew I had feelings for her. It just hurt and angry for a really long time and I didn't speak to her for almost a year, even though we had the same friends and we had a few classes together and worked on a couple of group projects together.” I found it shocking that a male found this action by a female surprising. If you are a friend of hers and you tell her you like her, it is natural for the woman to be worried and cut off contact. Women act in a way that they want others to act. They don’t want their significant other hanging around women that like them so they will take out any male who they know likes them so that their significant other does not have to worry. (5659)

I can never understand the abuse that girls tolerate from boyfriends and lovers on a consistent basis. Too frequently, especially in college, I hear stories from friends (or friends of friends) about how their boyfriend cheated on them again, or yelled at them again, or insulted them again. And they’ll cry, talk all night about how much it hurt them, and maybe even claim they’re going to leave the guy the next day. But they don’t. They stick with the jerks even after they’ve realized what kind of person they really are, all the while overlooking other guys in their life who would kill for the chance to treat them the way they should be treated. I’ve seen this too often in women, too infrequently in men, and with many different kinds of girls…” I was really surprised by how much this guy seemed to understand and care about the fact that men often treat women badly. Too often I feel like I hear guys who are passive about the horrible way some men treat women, so it was really a relief to finally hear a man write about how he did not understand it and that he wanted women to be treated fairly. (6617)

“The most misunderstood thing about males is that females believe we are emotionally simple. This is far from the truth males just have different emotions provoked by certain things and even when the same emotions are provoked the way of dealing with said emotion is different for males. Males are just different, not simple. (6163)”
I find this very interesting and surprising because I find that a lot of men admit to having emotions, but agree that they do not show them well and this confuses me. I definitely do not think that men are emotionally simple, however, I think that women are way better at showing emotions and telling people how they feel. From this comment, I gather that you understand that you do not show your emotions very well so what confuses me is, since you and I’m sure many other men understand this, why isn’t something that is worked on more often? (9535)

“I think women overestimate how much men only want women for sex. I think some guys may put up that front, but truly want someone that they can share experiences with and love. Not all men are just looking for sex and will move on once they get it. I think there are definitely many men that act this way, but there are also so many that are looking for someone to be in a relationship with and have no problem spending their life with one woman.”

I found this comment to be interesting because this is not something men usually feel free to address. I also found it interesting because I do believe that women often feel this way so it is nice hearing from a male that this is just one side of the story… 7236

“Not every guy is trying to get into your pants. Although it is true that some guys only seek relationships with girls for sexual reasons, I feel like a good majority of males seek relationships with girls that are not at all sexual. A male could genuinely be trying to ask a girl if she wants to study for a test with him and a good portion of females would misinterpret this as something that it's not. ”
This is something that I found interesting because of the level of conviction that the men had in defending this point. As a woman I do think that when I interact with men there is this underlying assumption that they are interested in something more. But as I read through all the male comments, there are so many defending that they do not all have bad intentions and I found that to be especially interesting. (8084)


6. ...revealed something about how males may feel a sense of powerlessness in comparison to women, or how they may feel manipulated by women?


"6.In the first class we had for psych 3010 we listed our dislikes of the opposite gender in the second half of the class. We got through all three female groups rather quickly as the men simply listened and usually actually agreed. But the one group of men took 30 min to list our five dislikes because every time we mentioned one the women, granted a few women out of many, would steamroll the conversation of list of excuses and explanations rather than just listening as we had to theirs. I find that in general women are great listeners to other women but are not great listeners to men. Many times have spent months listening to a female friend’s gripes and issues but when I have been having hard months and want to talk it out they listen for a moment before turning the topic back to themselves. (6275)"
I think this a great example of how men sometimes feel powerless when talking to women. Many feel that they aren't being heard or even given a chance to explain themselves. Though I try to be just as attentive to the male perspectives as I am to female perspectives, I can see how in some instances it can seem like women are ignoring the concerns of men (6012).

“It seems as though women drop very subtle hints as to whether they consider you a friend or as something more. Most of which are ambiguous and difficult to decipher. I feel as though I must make the move and interpret them correctly as males must be viewed as the aggressor in pursuing a relationship. It’s hard because you don’t want to overstep your boundaries and make things awkward. I think women don’t ever want to be the aggressor and so must send out subtle hints to not appear that way. They also tend to date assholes. (4073)”
This comment made me realize how when men are trying to get close to women, they’re waiting for signals and approvals. It seems like women have more power in the first stages of initiating a relationship. When women do give signals, men must be very careful in analyzing them. If a men do try to move on to the next stage, all the power is in the women to want to continue or reject them. It’s funny because I used to think men had more power in initiating relationships, since they’re always the ones to make the first move (at least in my case). Instead, it’s all up to us to accept them or not. (2590)

“Sometimes I am treated poorly by women when I believe they think I am threatening/hitting on them when I am genuinely not. I consider myself attractive and sometimes my mannerisms or comments may be mistaken for passes when they are not.”
This was not the only comment that showed concern for women taking friendly advances to mean more than intended. This could make men feel powerless to purse a friendship with a women without it being construed as them make an advance. (7982)
"I notice that the opposite sex will treat you very well when they are in need of help with manual labor. I can't count how many times I have been contacted with most sincere text messages followed by asking me to come by and move a piece of furniture. (5768)"
-This comment was interesting because I can see how when it comes to manual labor, women turn to men to help them. There have been many times where I expect my males friends to help me move things simply because they are male and probably stronger. I can see how women would use manipulation to get their way in situations that they themselves feel powerless in or would rather not deal with. (1481)

“It seems as though women drop very subtle hints as to whether they consider you a friend or as something more. Most of which are ambiguous and difficult to decipher. I feel as though I must make the move and interpret them correctly as males must be viewed as the aggressor in pursuing a relationship. It’s hard because you don’t want to overstep your boundaries and make things awkward. I think women don’t ever want to be the aggressor and so must send out subtle hints to not appear that way. They also tend to date assholes. (4073)”

It is a common game for women to play “cat and mouse” when it comes to gaining interest from the opposite sex. It most definitely is a form of manipulation as the woman decides how to drop hints that she’s interested as subtly as she can; the woman would be considered the mouse. She tiptoes around the male “cat” hoping that he’ll get the hints and chase her around. There is a definite expectation that males are supposed to make the first move, be the aggressor, and when thinking about a show such as Tom and Jerry, the cat is always the aggressor in chasing the mouse. Just like in the animal kingdom where the males must present themselves in the best light, men must also do the same. The simple game of “cat and mouse” is a dance between the sexes, which is an integral part of mating systems (7643).

“Making the first move or paying for dinner. (7737)”

It is interesting think that women do support equal rights, except when it comes to dating. There are expectations that women have regarding how men have to pay for the dates and make the first move sexually. It is in fact a contradiction because if women do support equality then shouldn’t dates be split between the two parties and shouldn’t both sexes have the expectation to make the first move? It seems that women support equal rights, but refer back to older traditions regarding finding the right mate. That then implies that we look back to the past to help with reproductive success, which contradicts with the idea of progressive thinking and equality for all (7643).

At work once a female co-worker assisted me in unloading the weekly delivery of boxes of paper instead of assuming I would do it just because I was the male. Having someone assume a task is yours simply because of your gender gets old after awhile and it’s a nice change when a woman expects equality but also grants equality. (6163)
I never thought about how men may feel manipulated into performing physical labor by women, which a lot of the comments for this question mentioned. This comment stood out to me in particular because the commenter expressed surprise that a woman would help him to do a physical task, and pointed out that women tend to assume that males have certain tasks because of their gender and physical sexual dimorphism in body size. It’s definitely making me think about times that I may have just assumed that men were supposed to take on certain labor-oriented jobs just because of their gender. (9166)


"That we are expected and in some cases pressured by them to care about certain things, and doing so may sometimes feel like a task rather than being a genuine and natural reaction that involves real emotions and, therefore, does not have much value and in many cases is not worth the effort."
This comment made me really conscious of bringing things up to my boyfriend. I see that me caring for something doesnt mean that he has to care for that thing too. 4575

“ I like that the opposite sex allows you to do certain things that would otherwise be considered homosexual by my peers. For instance, drinking some alcoholic beverages without getting some negative remarks from my friends. I know that if I were to go out with some friends and order a Strawberry Daiquiri at least one of them will comment how gay I am. While this may be a stupid example, I feel that I am barricaded from many other things such as yoga, clothing, and even food choices.”

This comment lead me to believe that this is an example of how men feel powerless in comparison to females. In this instance, he is not allowed to order the drink he wants to in fear of being ridiculed or embarrassed. I believe that this due to the fact that men feel like they can’t openly express their emotions, or else they might look “gay”. Men want to appear as masculine as possible, and ordering a fruity drink or participating in feminine activities, “jeopardizes” their masculinity. I don’t think that men feel manipulated by women here, but they do feel less powerful than them because they cannot openly express their emotions or do the activities they would like to in fear of being perceived as gay. (1904)



7. I notice that the opposite sex will treat you very well when they are in need of help with manual labor. I can't count how many times I have been contacted with most sincere text messages followed by asking me to come by and move a piece of furniture. (5768)
This post revealed the feeling of manipulation that some men may feel by women when they use interest in order to gain some sort of reward. While not all women may use feigned interest in order to gain some sort of help, whether it be physical or not, it is important to note that men may end up feeling manipulated because of this (0974).

“8. There have been times where I’ve been rejected respectfully and there have been times where I’ve been rejected in a rude manner. The respectful way was able to salvage something and have a great friendship. The disrespectful way lead to no friendship at all. The respectful way was just being upfront about not being interested. (4073)”
I think this revealed that men may feel powerless over the fact that when they ask a girl out the ball is then in the woman’s court. As opposed to woman, who generally do not ask men out, and do not have to deal with that initial sense of rejection. Rejection for women usually occurs later down the line when men realize they do not want to be anything more than friends. (6955)

“In high school, I was interested in a girl that was also interested in me. Unfortunately her friend had some idea that all guys are pigs and that I just wanted to have sex with the girl and leave her. Her friend was eventually able to convince the girl that I was like this, even though I gave no reason to believe that. The girl stopped talking to me all because of a stereotype that her friend applied to me.”

The powerlessness males feel is the stereotype that all men are assholes. Although not all men treat women like trash, those who do mess it up for the rest. The good guys end up paying for the assholes’ mistakes. (9398)


“1. I have a friend who may be the sweetest girl in the world. She is very smart and usually gives my friends, male and female, good advice about dating and relationships. However she has a propensity for falling for guys who are complete assholes and who treat her like shit. She currently likes this guy who a majority of our mutual friends feel is a douche bag. He is rude and inconsiderate not only to her but to us as well. The kicker is that this guy is not even particularly attractive. I think this just goes to show that even the best girls have a thing for arrogant, rude assholes. I just can’t comprehend why women are attracted to men who treat them so badly. (7737)”
This sense of powerlessness that “good guys” feel when they know another girl is dating a “douche bag” guy is such a cliché. I find it interesting when males automatically think that they can’t do anything about females being attracted to arrogant men, as if it is inevitable. This comment leads me to ask this guy whether or not he has noticed if this female’s self esteem is low? From personal experience, I dated someone who was absolutely rude and unappreciative of me because at the time I had low self-worth; I thought he was too good for me, while in actuality he didn’t deserve me. Perhaps this is the reason why his friend is dating this horrible guy, not because of her sex. (2735)

3. I believe that the one thing that women most misunderstand about men is that the actions and flaws that they complain about us having are actually, whether they realize it or not, reinforced by how they treat and interact with us. Women complain about men being shallow and insensitive and treating them badly. However women are just as shallow in their dealings with men, and they are the ones who put up with and who are even attracted to men who treat them in these ways. If women didn’t date assholes then maybe they wouldn’t complain about their boyfriends treating them like dirt. I’m not saying that women who make mistakes like this deserve men treating them the way they do. No one deserves to be treated badly. All I’m saying is that women have a lot more control over the situation than they think. (7737)”
It is interesting to read that this male admits that females have the power to shape male behavior to their liking. I can certainly agree with this; if women want their romantic partners to treat them better, they can demand this respect or kick them to the curb. I absolutely agree we have power over this situation; after all, we accept the love we think we deserve. (2735)

“I dislike how gossipy women can be and how they are so willing to backstab each other to make themselves look good. I also dislike how woman will sometimes pry information out of others that may not want to talk about what they are feeling. (3297)”
I do see how men can feel a sense of helplessness when women are very calculative and strategic with their interactions with others in order to get their way; it can come across as not genuine and difficult to gage for sincerity. (2735)


"It seems as though women drop very subtle hints as to whether they consider you a friend or as something more. Most of which are ambiguous and difficult to decipher. I feel as though I must make the move and interpret them correctly as males must be viewed as the aggressor in pursuing a relationship. It’s hard because you don’t want to overstep your boundaries and make things awkward. I think women don’t ever want to be the aggressor and so must send out subtle hints to not appear that way. They also tend to date assholes."

This comment really interested me because I think it portrays an aspect of what men face that women have a tendency to be blind to. Often women are either hurt and confused that a man isn’t making the first move (or any move at all) or they are frustrated that someone they genuinely wanted to be friends with seemed to be expecting more. I think for me personally this was a valuable comment to see because it illustrates an aspect of the challenges that men have to face that women might otherwise be blind to. This very clearly shows too how men can have a tendency to feel manipulated by women because we may fail to show clear signals, but often I think that this comes from a place of lack of awareness that the signal is not clear rather than attempted manipulation. I think women often think their actions are so much more obvious and telling than they truly are to men. (1569)

“My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis.”
There is a myth that only women are victims of rape, a misconception that is especially harmful for male rape victims. Due to the gender stereotypes that position men as strong and dominant and women as week and submissive, it is more social accepted for women to be victims of rape. The stigma that men face is a major factor that prevents the majority of male victims from coming forward, and if they do come forward, rape myths may prevent their reports from being taken seriously or may cause men to question their own masculinity. I think that the way society seems to discourage them from reporting could make men feel even more powerless in this type of situation. They may not feel like they can ask for help and that they must keep their rape a secret, which could increase feelings of shame. In contrast, people have more sympathy for female victims and their rape is acknowledged as a traumatic experience. Men do not receive the same level of sympathy or support, and may feel like they have no other option than to deal with this alone (7413).

A situation that has been confusing to me, with the opposite sex, is when you are out with a female and they get offended or upset when you make a comment about another female or just look at another female. It makes me wonder if they are really that insecure about themselves that they have to be made to thought they are the only female in the universe the moment they are with you. The thought process which females have puzzles me. What could they possibly be thinking that they think they are not guilty of finding other people attractive, they are also just human. The only difference is they don’t say anything and may observe someone of the opposite sex more discretely. When it comes down to it all I can think of to explain this is that they would rather just not know what we really think and just want to know and see what makes them, feel secure. Personally I don’t mind a female looking at someone else or making a comment, this make me feel more trusting of them since they don’t feel the need to hide things. (6163)
I think that jealousy runs both ways, but girls may be more vocal about it. I dont necessarily think women are hypersensitive or manipulative when it comes to becoming jealous when a boyfriend looks at other girls, I just think girls are more concerned with at least being respectful of the feelings of their boyfriend and so are very conscious of how they act and react in front of him. I also think women tend to be more faithful towards their partner because women are more inclined to find a secure partner for their offspring (2259).

When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex... is either immediately into it or goes with the flow after a little coaxing and persistence. (7753)
While you may not be trying to convey power over women, your word choice makes it seem as though you can persuade women to do whatever you want after some time. It makes women look easily convinced to do conform to a man’s desires after we may have expressed that we in fact do not want to do something. (7100)

My senior year of Highschool, my friend’s girlfriend got into a huge fight with her friend because their prom dresses were too similar. While I assumed such a minor dilemma wouldn’t really be an issue, it resulted in our 40 person prom group splitting apart because each girl refused to be seen with each other. They each created their own new prom groups and tried to recruit as many couples from the original group as possible. As one could imagine, this created even more drama as now girls who weren't at all involved in this dress dispute were now forced to choose between these competing groups. Throughout all this chaos that ruined friendships, me and the majority of my male friends are looking to one another in awe. None of us really cared for the situation and rather were going to just go with whatever group our dates felt most comfortable with. My guess for all of this would be the vast amounts of estrogen in a female's body during puberty caused for a drastic and emotional thought process.
The guys in this story were powerless compared to the women who were controlling the situation. They just went along with whatever their dates wanted. I think that is unfair to the guys. (1670)

"I like that the opposite sex allows you to do certain things that would otherwise be considered homosexual by my peers. For instance, drinking some alcoholic beverages without getting some negative remarks from my friends. I know that if I were to go out with some friends and order a Strawberry Daiquiri at least one of them will comment how gay I am. While this may be a stupid example, I feel that I am barricaded from many other things such as yoga, clothing, and even food choices.
I dislike that unless I prove otherwise, most females instantly consider me an emotionless meathead that only cares about eating, sleeping and fucking. I envision from a female's perspective that males are cave-men, who talk in the 3rd person and wander around all day looking for someone to have sex with. It’s like with every new female that I meet, I instantly start out as a womanizer with no dignity or decency and I must prove otherwise. Only after I have proven that I am not a sex crazed animal (varies depending on female, can take 5 minutes or months) do I feel like I receive a mutual decency and I'm treated like a human been. (5768)"
Based on this response, men tend to receive a lot of pressure to hide a side of them that could be teased to be feminine. In result of avoiding the humiliation and teasing from peers, they simply do not indulge in specific activities or alcoholic beverages that might have the slightest chance of labeling them as “gay”. In this way men are powerless in sense to act freely with out being accused of being gay. For example, if I held one of my girl friends hand most people will not label me as gay but if men held there guy friends hand, sure enough people will label them as gay. I also take from this, that men feel as though they need to constantly prove to women they are not what society and social media portray of them to be. This student provides the example of men being labeled as crazy sex driven cave-men. Women are brain washed early on that men only want one thing. I know this because I have been told this. It’s obviously not true. Not all men share this characteristic. Women are manipulated to think this way, which results men to constantly prove women wrong about their misconceptions (6138)


Which of the written comments made by the males:

1. ...was written so well or eloquently, or addressed such a personal issue,
that it evoked a sincere sense empathy in you?

“I believe their strengths are the ability to be empathetic, communicate well, and to understand most situations through multiple perspectives. Women are able to express their feelings in a more articulate way than men can while also having the ability to sense when others around them are dealing with a difficult time. They can also see situations through other individuals’ perspectives and help them get through these situations by looking at situation in more than one scope. One weakness that I believe women possess is caring too much about what others think about them. I believe that women are also concerned what others think which is why they need to constantly be complimented and reassured by those around them. I also think that this plays a factor in them being more self-critical.”

I empathized with this comment because I feel like it tries to empower women. Even the weakness that was mentioned touched base on how women are extremely hard on themselves because they want others to like them - when they shouldn’t be because being self-critical will only bring them down. (1857)

2. …disturbed and/or upset you, and why?

“My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis. (5768)”

This response was upsetting to read because there are so many cases of rape in which males are victims, but they are generally not believed or not taken seriously. With more and more cases of sexual assault coming to light in recent years, there has been an outpour of support shown to protect female victims of rape, but there are significantly fewer allies for male victims. It’s upsetting to read that even though we know that both sexes can be victims of assault, males’ stories are so often swept under the rug in this context. (6061)

3. ...honestly revealed something about male perceptions, feelings, or thoughts that you suspect that they generally might be very reluctant to admit to if their comments were not anonymous?

“Junior year I asked out my friend after months of constant all day communication. She rejected me which I somewhat expected but was crushed due to the massive reserve of hope I had stashed somewhere in the back of my mind. They weren’t rude or insensitive but I was so crushed I went home and laid in bed for 36 hours. I began to find it unfair that she led me on for so many months when clearly she could tell I had feelings for her. Women, I know it’s expected of men to be upfront about our intentions but if we aren’t do us a favor and let us in or cut us off early. (6275)”

I think a male would be less forthcoming in sharing that he had taken rejection from a female hard enough that he laid in bed for 36 hours. Men aren’t exactly willing to share stories of rejection, possibly because there is a sort of shame that society has associated with being unable to obtain a partner. (6061)

6. …revealed something about how males may feel a sense of powerlessness in comparison to women, or how they may feel manipulated by women?

“Subjecting them to questioning on values-based topics, priorities, hypothetical situations, and short-term/long-term plans. Additionally, there will likely be tests involving faithfulness and honesty in the relationship. (9698)”

It’s pretty easy to see how males could feel manipulated by women when it comes to proving their potential as a partner. I think the majority of women, in some form or another, test their partners to determine whether the relationship will survive, and this may result in the male feeling as if they can never say or do what the women wants them to say or do. In this scenario, even if the male does meet the woman’s expectations, he will most likely have to pass more “tests” and if he doesn’t meet her expectations, she may end the relationship. (6061)

3. ...honestly revealed something about male perceptions, feelings or
thoughts that you suspect that they generally might be very
reluctant to admit to if their comments were not anonymous?

“I love that women can listen intently, deeply, and give good advice. I love that I can usually feel comforted by some sort of interaction with a woman, especially my mom. I especially enjoy their desire to nurture and support, as I feel like I can be open and real with women. I also appreciate how much effort they put into looking their best. I don’t particularly appreciate how they can be so petty or judgmental towards other women they may be competing with. I can be put off by how manipulative they can be towards others.”

I think guys usually stay away from talking about being appreciative of women who want to talk about feelings, which is why I gravitated toward this comment. I think that guys, even if they don’t directly say it, do like to have someone to listen to them and talk to them even if they seem like they don’t want to. (1857)

7. ...revealed something about how males may feel a sense of power
over women, or in comparison to women?

“I have a friend who may be the sweetest girl in the world. She is very smart and usually gives my friends, male and female, good advice about dating and relationships. However she has a propensity for falling for guys who are complete assholes and who treat her like shit. She currently likes this guy who a majority of our mutual friends feel is a douche bag. He is rude and inconsiderate not only to her but to us as well. The kicker is that this guy is not even particularly attractive. I think this just goes to show that even the best girls have a thing for arrogant, rude assholes. I just can’t comprehend why women are attracted to men who treat them so badly.”

This comment just mad me think of how a lot of guys will put on a show and act like a “bad guy” to give them the upper hand in a situation. I feel like it makes them feel powerful to treat women poorly, which is sad. This is obviously not a healthy foundation for a relationship, and I also do feel like a lot of women are attracted to this “bad boy” attitude. (1857)


Previous classes:

“6. I was really good friends with a girl and I had developed feelings for her. I knew she was in a relationship, so that was difficult. I knew she wouldn't end the relationship, but at the same time from my end it was so tough being her friend because my feelings were just too strong. So I felt that I had to admit my feelings for her so that we could try to move forward as friends. I admit that I probably should have figured out a more concise or better way of telling her, but I look back and wish she just looked at me and listened while I was speaking to her. Or that she would have been more open to talking about it after I had finished telling her. Or that she approached me about it earlier when she knew I had feelings for her. It just hurt and angry for a really long time and I didn't speak to her for almost a year, even though we had the same friends and we had a few classes together and worked on a couple of group projects together (1151).”
I really felt bad for this guy. I understand how it feels to be rejected by someone you like and I know girls can get very uncomfortable in these situations because we get scare and don’t know how to handle it. I know in my case I had a guy who liked me and I was and still am in a long-term relationship. So when I started picking up on his hints I pulled away because I thought he was interested only in “hooking up” or something and not interested in being my friend. (This guy was also a little off, the more he showed he liked me the more I started to think he was stalking me and friends started to get worried) That’s the problem with these situations, if a guy tells us he likes us and knows we are with someone else, we panic and usually assume he was only ever interested in us physically and not as friends. A terrible assumption yes but it goes along with our fundamental desire to not be seen as easy. I do feel really bad for this guy though it’s a tough situation to be in and no one really knows what the right thing to do is with out hurting another. (5369)

My male friend in high school was raped by a girl and received no help from the school or authorities. We were at a party and this girl was making a very obvious attempt to get him as intoxicated as possible. After having too much to drink, some of his friends took him out to their car, laid down some seats, and left him out there to sleep it off. Later in the night the girl who has been force feeding him alcohol was found out at the car trying to have sex with my male friend. She had taken off his clothes, put a condom on him and was having sex with a guy who was next to unconscious. The next day he had no recollection of the incident and was horrified at what had happened. When he attempted to report what happened, he was told that rape cases against males are very tricky because it’s hard to argue that it wasn't consensual if you had an erect penis. (5768)

I feel deeply ashamed of our society when I hear of accounts like this. I think our perceptions of consent and sexual assault are erroneous, and I can’t believe we can be proud of ourselves knowing that this person’s claims were invalidated. Experiencing sexual assault makes you feel powerless enough, but the rejection of his voice and his story is disempowering on a whole different level. (4640)

“I was dating a girl once who cheated on me. I knew that it had happened, but I double checked my sources before I talked to her about it. When I finally confronted her she told me that it didn’t happen and became very defensive, trying to somehow turn the blame around on me. She told me all of the problems that she was having with our relationship, reasons why she might cheat, but refused to admit that she had done anything with anyone else. Our relationship ended, and she still continued to deny it. Even when she started dating the guy that she had cheated on me with she still made a point to tell me that she had never cheated on me with him, despite the fact that not only did I not care at this point, but also I had stopped asking. I’ve had similar sorts of situations with other girls in which they deny something that is verifiably true and I don’t understand why. It seems that they are trying more to convince themselves that it isn’t true than convince anyone else.”
“One thing that really annoys me is when girls try and use me to by them a drink when I’m at a bar or a party and then they’ll just leave. It’s fairly easy to spot but they are simply trying to use you as a wallet. (3617)”
I would be lying if I said I have never done this myself. Maybe it is some sort of revenge that women use their physical appearance to trick men into buying them things because at the end of the day, was he really trying to get to know me or was he planning on using me in return? Women gain power by walking away. (6259)
I was dating a girl once who cheated on me. I knew that it had happened, but I double checked my sources before I talked to her about it. When I finally confronted her she told me that it didn’t happen and became very defensive, trying to somehow turn the blame around on me. She told me all of the problems that she was having with our relationship, reasons why she might cheat, but refused to admit that she had done anything with anyone else. Our relationship ended, and she still continued to deny it. Even when she started dating the guy that she had cheated on me with she still made a point to tell me that she had never cheated on me with him, despite the fact that not only did I not care at this point, but also I had stopped asking. I’ve had similar sorts of situations with other girls in which they deny something that is verifiably true and I don’t understand why. It seems that they are trying more to convince themselves that it isn’t true than convince anyone else. I found this really sad because it made women as a whole look bad. I’ve known girls who have done that and try to misplace the blame on someone else although they know they made a mistake. It’s just unfortunate because yes, some girls are manipulative and won’t own up to their mistakes, but some will. (2431)
As learned in this class, men are very adamant about ensuring paternity security. A woman could taint her reputation of being a trustworthy female if it is discovered that she has cheated on one of her boyfriends. By refusing to admit that she did it, she is saving her reputation and ensuring that she will be able to find and keep a mate without having to deal with extreme forms of jealousy on the man’s part. (3022)

During high school there was a girl who I thought was very pretty and I began to have feelings for her. She showed me that she felt the same way. We went on a few dates for some time until I asked her to officially date. We broke up in less than a week and I was very confused. I felt like I was led on and that what we had was just trivial to her. (5343)
This is an unfortunate situation because it is never a good feeling, knowing that you were played by the opposite sex. Men succumb to powerlessness when a woman manipulates them because men want to feel accepted by their crush or significant other. This girl could have genuinely liked you, but maybe once you two went out, she didn’t have the same feelings that she thought she had before. She probably felt like because it was only a few dates, it was early enough to move on, which translates to manipulation of the relationship towards a male. (2501).

“One situation that I always find to be frustrating and confusing is how to know when a woman feels comfortable in a relationship. Far to often do I think that there are no issues that need to be addressed in the relationship. Im confused as to why they don't speak their minds and communicate effectively. Furthermore, I feel that most of the time I am involved in a romantic relationship, I find I have a very difficult time understanding many of the issues that make women angry and jealous. I don't observe the situation closely enough to make amends to this behavior or to find out when a problem has presented itself. I would love to understand how to fix some of the problems that do arise.”
This statement represents how we can unknowingly manipulate men through a sort of subliminal messaging of emotion. This comment is assurance that males feel the need to know how comfortable a girl is in a relationship by trying to please her every step of the way. It reveals how some men, even at this age, wish to pursue a long-term relationship as opposed to a purely sexual one. His response also represents the difference between males and females when it comes to being straightforward and trying to get the message through by expecting the male to analyze everything and just know what's going on. (9519)

“For a friends birthday we were having a party and my female friends took it upon themselves to plan it all take care of food and cake and stuff and told me just go get the alcohol. There was no discussion or even asking if I wanted to do something else they just gave me the easy thing they though I wouldn’t mess up despite it being for my closest friend.”
I think that it is interesting that this male wanted a more active role in planning the party. I think that society has engraved in us that women do the planning and men simply desire to show up. In this case it seems this man felt powerless up against the party planning of a woman. (5602)

“For a friends birthday we were having a party and my female friends took it upon themselves to plan it all take care of food and cake and stuff and told me just go get the alcohol. There was no discussion or even asking if I wanted to do something else they just gave me the easy thing they though I wouldn’t mess up despite it being for my closest friend.”

This comment made me feel kind of bad…because I’m guilty of treating males in my life this way. I think when it comes to planning and organizing, us females often assume that that’s our forte. I know I’ve thought that males are helpless when it comes to caring for themselves and need someone to help them. With my boyfriend and I, I always assumed that I would be the one to do the cooking/laundry/etc. Come to find out, he’s a better cook than I am, and is completely competent separating his whites from darks without my supervision. I guess gender roles play a bigger part here than I was initially willing to admit. (6943)

One thing that really annoys me is when girls try and use me to by them a drink when I’m at a bar or a party and then they’ll just leave. It’s fairly easy to spot but they are simply trying to use you as a wallet. (3617)

I have heard similar versions of this complaint from my guy friends. They feel used by women for their money. But guys do not HAVE TO buy girls drinks at the bar all the time if they don't want to. Simply tell the girls no next time, and if the girls act negatively towards you then you shouldn't bother with them anyways. Especially if it's “fairly easy to spot,” don't allow yourself and your wallet to be taken advantage of. However if a guy offers to a girl to buy her a drink and she declines, guys shouldn't get upset about that either. (3742)
“One thing that really annoys me is when girls try and use me to by them a drink when I’m at a bar or a party and then they’ll just leave. It’s fairly easy to spot but they are simply trying to use you as a wallet. (3617)”
I have seen this happen too, as a girl, I feel bad how much money guys have to spend on drinks at a bar. I know friends who go to bars and expect guys to pay for all their drinks. Going to bars with guy friends, I have seen how expensive it can get and in society it is the social norm for guys to buy drinks and so to be accepted in the bar scene, they have to conform. Many girls do take advantage of guys in this sense and since guys conform, it makes it so take all guys need to. (4049).

I think women best at empathizing and diplomatically resolving conflicts (seek to please as many of the involved parties as possible). Women are poor at being clear with what they want. (0383)

Since women are so bad at being clear at what they want, this leaves males in a powerless situation where he could potentially say the wrong thing and it could lead to fighting. This can leave males subject to females’ manipulation. I do agree that females are often unsure how to be direct and say what they want. As a girl though, I know it can be extremely hard to say what we want and have it worded correctly, or sometimes we simply do not know what we want. We want the males to know what we should want, and this is unfair, yet its how it is. (2473)

"When I was with my ex-girlfriend we would get into arguments and her friends would treat me rudely or ignore me even if they had no idea what the fight was about. (7737)"

This comment revealed a sense of powerlessness from the male perspective because he is saying that he doesn’t understand why the friends of his ex would treat him poorly if they didn’t know what the fight was about. The thing is that, in most cases, the friends of your girlfriend or ex know exactly what the fight was about. Females communicate their emotions and feelings consistently with their close friends much more than males do with anyone. In this sense, her friends were treating him poorly because they were along for the ride during this fight and understood the emotions that the girlfriend was going through. (0516)


6. “The last time I was rejected by a girl that I was attracted to made me feel annoyed. We were both attracted to each other, she even told me this after we kissed. However, she rejected me because her friend liked me and she did not want to make her friend mad who I had no interest in. I don't think she acted insensitive by any means because she was looking out for her best friend, but it made me very annoyed because she knew I had no interest in her friend. A more considerate way to do it would be to not lead me on at all in the first place. (3617)
This example shows a clear disconnect between men and women. Women have this “girl code” that basically prohibits us from going after a guy that one of our friends likes. I guess this guy doesn’t see a problem with that because he clearly didn’t have feelings for the other girl. In that sense, the guy might feel like a pawn in their game or something that can just be discarded because there’s no “win-win” outcome for both of the girls, so they all lose. (9977)


One thing that really annoys me is when girls try and use me to by them a drink when I’m at a bar or a party and then they’ll just leave. It’s fairly easy to spot but they are simply trying to use you as a wallet.

This is actually something that I feel bad about for guys. Of course, I like not having to pay for drinks, but most of the time, I won’t let a guy I just met buy me a drink unless I’m actually willing/interested to at least have a conversation with him – or if one of my friends is wanting to talk to him and he’s buying drinks for all of us girls. I find it rude when women use guys like this, and it is indeed manipulative. Although I don’t have much money, I feel better about buying a drink myself than leading some guy on or pretending to be interested in his conversation for five minutes. Women want men to be chivalrous, but manipulative behaviors like these can, at times, make us women not chivalrous in return or respectful ourselves. (3512)


After my high school prom, I rented a house with my prom date and all of my friends. My prom date invited her ex-boyfriend to our party, which made me a bit upset but she told me they were just good friends. He showed up and I did my best to be kind to him but he was all over my prom date. I got very upset and went to the backyard to cool off. After hanging out in the backyard for awhile I walked into the house and could not find my prom date. I went outside to the front stoop and I saw my prom date and her ex-boyfriend making out. I had never felt more rejected in my entire life. She rejected me in the worst way possible and clearly still had feelings for her ex. I had liked this girl for almost three years but we had never found a way to make it work. I finally thought things were going well because we had a great time at prom. The way she rejected me was beyond inconsiderate. She lead me on and didn’t communicate with me how she was feeling at all. I realized she had invited her ex-boyfriend to the party because she still had feelings for him and then she made out with him in front of all of my friends. I felt embarrassed, angry, miserable and heartbroken all at once. She could have been much more considerate with the way she choose to end things and reject me. She should of communicated with me how she was feeling with me and what she was looking for. She could of not lead me on during the entire weekend or even have gone to prom with me. She should of told me that she still liked her ex-boyfriend and shouldn’t of spent a weekend with me at a house on the beach with my friends. She rejected me with her actions, not her words, which made it even worse.”

I think this comment shows how women have an emotional “power” over men. Women generally think that men are “simple” or lack emotion, which makes it easy
to brush their feeling aside and follow your own. I think this shows something that happens quite often – where women will lead multiple men on to keep their options open and then choose one in the end. I think this is very similar to how men will physically have relations with multiple women…just men are more physical, while girls are more emotional. (4929)

“I would probably try to sit close and then read her body language. I’d start by either putting my arm around here or holding her hand. If she responds positively then I’d contemplate taking it further. I would let her dictate how far she would want it to go.”
Although males would more than likely tend to embellish their strength and influence over women, this comment demonstrates the lack of power men truly have in terms of sexual or intimate situations. Without resorting to a completely forced and involuntary intimate experience with an unwilling female, males would be completely disenfranchised. Females do ultimately possess the power to decide whether or not to accept the advances of their male counterparts yet far too often, women underestimate their power due to societal influences. (9234)

1. “The most puzzling interaction I have had was with my girlfriend. She is always mad, for no apparent reason (at least, no reason to me). When I would ask her what is wrong, she would give me three chances to guess. I would either have to guess it right and have her blow up on me a couple minutes later or guess it all wrong just to have the same results. I think this is a display of how girls tend to think all guys are mind-readers. It’s the man’s fault so he should know what’s wrong and why she is mad. Eventually, I would find out that her anger stemmed from something trivial. For example, she would be mad because she found a photo on Facebook where I was hugging a girl. (3637)”

This girl seems like she just wanted to use her boyfriend as a punching bag. This seems to be something that many (though not all) women do. It really is not fair to any man who has to guess what is on a woman’s mind. However, depending on the situation, I can empathize with a girlfriend being angry that her boyfriend was overly affectionate with a certain girl in a photo. Regardless of the situation, the girl could have communicated with her boyfriend better, and not all girls behave in this way (9031).

“I just got out of a very confusing relationship. The most puzzling thing about it is that what I would say would be taken out of context. I would feel that I was being very upfront and clear with my intentions as well as my thoughts on the relationship. I feel that the female and females in general may bring too much emotion into relationships. Of course passion and emotion is necessary for any relationship to function, but too much emotion may cause problems to arise.” (5343)— Often times I see women manipulating men through their emotions, so it’s understandable that a man who was in a relationship with a woman who expressed intense emotion a lot felt manipulated or powerless.

“I recently had an interaction with a female where she proceeded to tell me that she did not believe in chivalry from men. She explained to me that she doesn’t think that men need to constantly be helping women, opening the door for them etc. She told me that women can do those things on their own and don’t need guys always doing it for them. She was a strong believer in feminism and I could tell she felt strongly about women doing things for themselves and being independent. I was very puzzled at everything she was telling me. I had never encountered a woman before who did not believe in chivalry. Most women who I talk to about chivalry often complain that men are terrible at it and that chivalry is dead these days. (3800)”
I understand why this makes you feel powerless. It’s the whole “you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t” thing. Personally, I consider myself both a feminist and someone who appreciates chivalry. I do not think of chivalry as taking away from feminism, but rather I think of it as just being nice. Having a guy open a door for me does not make me feel weak or powerless, rather it makes me feel that I am important enough to have a door held open for me. Some extreme feminists are the ones that I generally have found to not appreciate chivalry, but in general, I would say thank you for being chivalrous and that at least all of my friends and I appreciate it. (9535)


“During my summer internship, my girlfriend was convinced that I was constantly flirting with other female interns. One time, I mentioned the accomplishments of one particular intern and foolishly mentioned that I thought they were rather admirable. I had only brought this up because I specifically wanted to share my internship with my girlfriend. However, a few days later, we ended up having a fight about my comment. She accused me of admiring another girl while not admiring her enough. It was useless to explain to her that my intentions in mentioning the other intern, was to commiserate and joke a bit with each other about how unaccomplished we were in our careers. I felt that she was jumping to conclusions and not thinking very logically. (0645)”
I feel like this is a perfect example of something that most women have been guilty of at some point in their life, misdirected anger. His girlfriend jumping to a conclusion much too soon instead of talking about her feelings was probably a result of her not talking about her feelings right away, so instead she let the anger build up, and she lashed out instead. I can see why a man could feel powerless in a situation like this because even when he is trying to just share his life it may feel like he never says the right thing. (0735)

“6. For a friends birthday we were having a party and my female friends took it upon themselves to plan it all take care of food and cake and stuff and told me just go get the alcohol. There was no discussion or even asking if I wanted to do something else they just gave me the easy thing they though I wouldn’t mess up despite it being for my closest friend. (6163)”

I think that this sort of situation is rather common, whether the men notice it or not. I think women often think that men can’t be trusted with taking care of details of getting something put together so women will take it into their hands to get things done. I think men are seen as being incompetent with this sort of things so women feel they need to take over. (9222)


7. ...revealed something about how males may feel a sense of power over women, or in comparison to women?


"I do not know of any particular strengths and weaknesses that are sex-specific. I think I read somewhere once that women have higher tolerance to pain in order to handle the pain of childbirth? I never really fact-checked that one. As far as I know, any strengths that men have come from living in a male-dominated society that subjugates women, creating weaknesses in them."
This comment to me shows that males may feel a sene of power of women. He openly talks about how we live in a male-dominated society that subjugates women, therefore creating weakness in them. He also could not comment on any strengths that he thinks women have which to me suggests that he believes males are superior and/or women do not have any strengths. (7497)

“1. I went on a date with a girl and at the end of the date, she asked me to drop her off at a place near her house. I was confused by this incident and it had me pondering a lot about the situation. Did she think I was a stalker? Is she self-conscious about her house? I narrowed down the possibilities to those two but I am still not sure to this day. I think it would be a function of her gender because I think females worry about their safety more than men do. I know if I were in that situation, I would definitely ask my date to drop me off at my house. Even if she was a stalker, I am confident I would be able to defend myself. I wouldn’t be too self-conscious about my house because if it somehow affected the way she viewed me, then I would know she isn’t right for me anyway. (5835)”
This post definitely made me feel like the male who wrote it understood the power men have in compared to women. While I also think it is strange she made him drop her off away from the house, that causes me to wonder what he said to her during the date? Was he aggressive? Did he say something to make her feel threatened? The worst part is, I’m sure this guy probably did nothing and is probably a nice guy by as a woman who has also felt threatened by men, who has been sexually harassed and met guys who I would never want knowing where I live, I can’t help but automatically defend. (5759).

“I’ve been dumped for not doing anything wrong. She left for an older guy who was an asshole. After a couple years she apologized and admitted I wasn’t in fault and that she just had an urge to date a different type of guy and that it was a mistake. It seems like girls don’t know what they want until later in life. She was burned out on the asshole guys and wanted to start dating again.”
I assume he feels superior to his ex-girlfriend if he is so defensive about her breaking up with him because she wanted to date someone else. Again, I assume that he does not see her change in interest as a justifiable reason to no longer like him. (7982)
“#8. They have let me know right off the bat that they were not interested. I thought at the time that it was inconsiderate and to some extent insensitive to not at least make the effort to offer a possibly more comforting response by saying that she does not want to risk our preexisting friendship or just by offering any rational explanation (which would’ve helped me with the sadness that came from feeling inadequate as I was also sad simply because I was rejected). It made me feel like my request was not realistic and out of the question, which made me feel inferior and very insecure. (5966)”
This one in general just confuses me. He’s upset that she was upfront with him and would have preferred she had lied? This male ego is fragile, wow. The fact that he has such a strong, resentful, and villain-blaming response is exactly the reason most women feel like they can’t be upfront with their feelings and have to lie and say things like, “I have a boyfriend” regardless of whether they do or not. If we’re upfront, and honest, we are villainized, and called a “bitch” or other horrible things for what? Simply not being interested in someone?


7. “. …is either immediately into it or goes with the flow after a little coaxing and persistence.”

This was a fill in the blank answering what women’s feelings on sexual encounters are. By this male saying that women go with the flow after coaxing and persistence, he is demonstrating the power that he thinks he has over women. If he is persistent in what he asks for from women, he can get it. Men often demonstrate sexual power over women, but this is also a bit disturbing. People should participate in sex because they want to, not because they were pressured into it. (8778)

  1. a Women can sometimes be more sexist than men but at the same time it makes sense. At the end of the day, male privilege protects me from being too profoundly impacted by female sexism against males. (6438)

1. b. I think this comment reveals something about how males feel a sense of power over females. First I would like you to elaborate on what your definition of sexism is because through my definition, sexism is discrimination based on gender plus power. Women lack the institutional power to be sexist; yes they can be discriminatory against males, but often times that doesn’t affect males. There are some instances where there has been institutional sexism against males, such as females winning custody battles or the lack of domestic abuse shelters for men. But these examples of sexism come from perceptions of females, such as females being perceived as more invested parents. But men also have the institutional power to make changes that will benefit men when there are cases of sexism. So if you are referring to examples like these where men do have less opportunities for help, then I understand your sexism argument. However, if you are coming at the angle that women sometimes stereotype men and therefore avoid some of them in certain situations (such as when it comes to choosing a mate or not wanting to talk to a guy while walking alone at night) then I think you have to reevaluate your definition of sexism.(1524)

  1. “I notice that the opposite sex will treat you very well when they are in need of help with manual labor. I can't count how many times I have been contacted with most sincere text messages followed by asking me to come by and move a piece of furniture. (5768)”
    1. I definitely feel that men have a sense of power over women for biological reasons. In general men are bigger and stronger in size and therefore capable of completing tasks that females often aren’t able to. This response showed that when women are not capable of completing certain tasks they will look to females to do the task for them. I have found this to be true and have relied on many guy friends to help me life heavy things or help with things around the house. I found it interesting that this person did not appreciate being asked to complete these tasks. I feel like guys feel a sense of an empowerment when they are useful to females and can do things other people may not be able to, I guess this isn’t always the case (6700).


6. I am sure I have. I can be a dick sometimes. I highly doubt it was because I was a man. However, at the same time, I try to be sensitive about what being a man means and how I can exert that privilege onto others. I do not remember any unfair treatment because of that, though, so I think I am doing a good job. (6438)
I think that this post discusses the sense of power that men can feel over women due to their privilege. The fact that he cannot remember being treated particularly unfairly by women, while women can often recall a point in time where they have been treated unfairly by men, often times immediately, proves that there is privilege towards males.(0974)

“#5. That they are more empathic than males is a very important quality in a world where EQ is progressively considered to be more important than IQ. Also tied to this quality they can be more supportive of each other compared the males. Their biggest weakness, however, is that they are easily affected emotionally. Rationality is not always their strong suit. (5966)”
This revealed that males may believe they have a sense of power over women in the sense that they feel they are more rational. I do believe that there is some truth to this and that a woman’s emotions can get the best of her and cause some major problems. I personally have experienced my biggest downfalls based on the consequences of being overly-emotional. I think many men know this about women and may feel a sense of power or being stronger than women emotionally. (6955)

“ I notice that the opposite sex will treat you very well when they are in need of help with manual labor. I can't count how many times I have been contacted with most sincere text messages followed by asking me to come by and move a piece of furniture. “


Again with this. It is irritating, but I also think that men use their “masculinity” to their advantage when they are attempting to impress a girl. This is how men acquire power over some women. (9398)


“I went on a date with a girl and at the end of the date, she asked me to drop her off at a place near her house. I was confused by this incident and it had me pondering a lot about the situation. Did she think I was a stalker? Is she self-conscious about her house? I narrowed down the possibilities to those two but I am still not sure to this day. I think it would be a function of her gender because I think females worry about their safety more than men do. I know if I were in that situation, I would definitely ask my date to drop me off at my house. Even if she was a stalker, I am confident I would be able to defend myself. I wouldn’t be too self-conscious about my house because if it somehow affected the way she viewed me, then I would know she isn’t right for me anyway.” (5835)
I don’t know that this necessarily reveals how men may feel a sense of power over women, but this student clearly has awareness around the differences men may feel about their safety relative to women. I found this comment very compelling and transparent; I very rarely experience a man conceding that a woman’s behavior – which is often labeled by society as ‘hysterical,’ or ‘paranoid’ – exists due to the difference in realities between a man and a woman. What is conveyed, here, is that men generally do not have to take ‘extreme’ measures to make sure they are safe, whereas women often do. (3597)

“6. I am sure I have. I can be a dick sometimes. I highly doubt it was because I was a man. However, at the same time, I try to be sensitive about what being a man means and how I can exert that privilege onto others. I do not remember any unfair treatment because of that, though, so I think I am doing a good job. (6438)”
This person certainly does display recognition of his entitlement. He assumes are more powerful position when saying, “I try to be sensitive about what being a man means and how I can exert that privilege onto others.” He definitely acts as if he has ever been victimized in his life based on his sex. (2735)

“7. I notice that the opposite sex will treat you very well when they are in need of help with manual labor. I can't count how many times I have been contacted with most sincere text messages followed by asking me to come by and move a piece of furniture. (5768)”
This is a classic example of women acknowledging the male physical strength; ladies, we’ve all been there at one point. It is true though; men are simply on average taller and stronger than the average female. Therefore, why not set your pride aside and ask some help for lifting heavy furniture? (2735)

#12. When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex...
“has been conditioned to never take initiative else be labelled a slut.” (6438)
This brings up a very important issue. Men have the power and privilege to sleep with as many women as they want without receiving judgment or societal backlash. However, in the case of females, initiating sex, especially with multiple partners, is considered a flaw in their character. How fair is that? I’m glad this person recognized this issue. (2735)



Previous classes:

“ I feel males see other males as competition to better them self whereas females just see other females as threats so they try to tear them down with words and assumptions of them.”

I feel this exhibits how males feel they have a sense of power in comparison to women. This statement says that men compete in order to better themselves while women just fight/argue with no clear objective other than to hurt each other. Not only does this gloss over the fact that many women compete through words not physical altercations, it also seems to suggest that males competition is somehow better because they are competing to become a better self. It also suggests that male competition has a “higher” motive, when in actuality men compete, just like women, for attention and access to the opposite sex (7437).

“In the past I have dealt with girlfriends that absolutely go ballistic if you talk to another girl. My personality is naturally flirtatious and I had a girl lose it whenever I would talk with another girl. Something that I think is not a problem at all suddenly transformed into a fight over nothing. I found it puzzling that they would get so mad over something so little when they know it is part of who I am. (3617)”
I feel that this statement shows that this male thinks he is always in the right. Obviously if his flirting has been a problem with multiple girlfriends then it must be something that he needs to work on, not the women. What he sees as “nothing” can be taken very personally and hurtfully by a girlfriend. Instead of blaming the women for being “ballistic” he needs to take a step back and realize how his actions are being perceived by her and that if the tables were turned he would probably be just as upset. 8237

I was sitting on a couch at a VIP booth in a night club at Las Vegas. Two girls came up to me and grabbed me off the couch and starting dancing with me. One of them started making out with me because she thought I was a hot guy.
I enjoyed this post; laughed out loud actually. This is the typical "I'm a hot guy" mindset you see from some men at the club, bar, dance setting. I applaud his confidence but digress from his assumptions. Many a time have I seen men exert their power in similar ways, all in a subliminal context. They may make eye contact across the room or have a friend usher you over. In the end, it is the cat and mouse game of male power shown through this comment. Regardless if the woman comes up to you in the club, he made it sound like he had some desirable power over them coercing her to make out with him... (4737).

#11. In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when...
I flirt with her friends instead of talking to her and giving her all the attention. (3617)

I found it impressive how almost all of the comments related to this one answer. Males know that talking to other girls, flirting with other girls, and ignoring their girlfriend will piss them off. They fully know that they should not do it, yet they continue to. They have this sense of power by being able to tick off their partner. (2473)

“One of the greatest strengths that women possess is emotional intelligence. That is, being able to read emotional cues and body language in almost every situation. One of their biggest weaknesses is questioning themselves.”
Men feel that they have a sense of power over women in that they are stronger in asserting themselves and being self-confident. I think I agree with this for the most part, but I think that a lot of the times the habit of questioning ourselves is too often linked to desired affirmation from a male. This is probably why men recognize this tendency so often. (1160)


“I just got out of a very confusing relationship. The most puzzling thing about it is that what I would say would be taken out of context. I would feel that I was being very upfront and clear with my intentions as well as my thoughts on the relationship. I feel that the female and females in general may bring too much emotion into relationships. Of course passion and emotion is necessary for any relationship to function, but too much emotion may cause problems to arise.” (5343)—On the other hand, a man who cannot handle a woman’s emotions and interprets them as ‘overly emotional’ are not being sensitive enough or aren’t comfortable with investing time into the emotional aspects of a relationship.



1. Which of the following comments by the males disturbed and/or upset you, and why?
In high school, I remember one instance when my girlfriend at the time got mad at me for being good friends with an ex-girlfriend, even though I explained thoroughly that my relationship with the ex was strictly platonic. What puzzled me about this was when I questioned her about her exes, my girlfriend got mad at me for bringing it up. I was somewhat confused by the expectations that she held concerning me and those she expected me to have of her. Also, I am absolutely dumbfounded about how easily any female I've interacted with is capable of overreacting emotionally to the smallest of events.
Even though your relationship with his ex-girlfriend was harmless, there are other reasons why that relationship may seem bothering. Jealousy is a human trait and is probably perceived with any ex. Sometimes respecting ones wishes in a relationship when something makes them uncomfortable is necessary even if it doesn’t make sense to you. (4115)

2. Which of the following comments by the males did you find to be surprising and/or particularly interesting?
I like how different women are then men. They think differently by looking at the world with a more empathetic view and motivate us to be better. I also think women are objectively better looking. I dislike that they complain about problems but don’t ever feel the need to solve them. Any suggestion on what to do usually warrants a negative response. I also feel as though they blow a lot of situations out of proportion by over analyzing them. I didn’t know that men appreciated womens’ differences. I am pleasantly surprised that this is so because I have felt that many males perceive themselves as better than women, but in this case, the male is saying that our differences are good, not necessarily better or worse. (4115)

3. Which of the following comments by the males honestly revealed something about male perceptions, feelings orthoughts that you suspect that they generally might be veryreluctant to admit to if their comments were not anonymous?
The physical characteristics that attract me to a female would be their breasts, butt, waist, face, and eyes. As far as personality goes humor and self confidence and being low key are very important. I would say the most important factor would be, prior to meeting physical attributes, after meeting demeanor and mannerism around me. I am not surprised by this answer, however I think that if revealed in front of women, this guy would be a little embarrassed but still hold his opinion. Compared to some of the other comments, this one is a bit shallower, however it is all things that I would say a male would find attractive in a female. It is not a bad answer, but he might want to elaborate if he was not anonymous.

"In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when...I flirt with her friends instead of talking to her and giving her all the attention. (3617)"

This person must think that he has power over the particular female’s emotions because he can fool around and knows he will not be as emotionally damaged as she will. This reminds me of why women do not trust men sometimes. Why would you flirt with her friends? To show that you are a free man and can do whatever you want and she will always be there watching in jealousy? (0516)

7. “I was sitting on a couch at a VIP booth in a night club at Las Vegas. Two girls came up to me and grabbed me off the couch and starting dancing with me. One of them started making out with me because she thought I was a hot guy.(7753)”
Clearly this guy thinks he’s a “hot guy” and knows that these good looks will get him far with women. By emphasizing that he had to do nothing to get these women to dance with him and make-out with him tells me that he thinks and knows that he has a certain amount of power. (9977)


“A situation that has been confusing to me, with the opposite sex, is when you are out with a female and they get offended or upset when you make a comment about another female or just look at another female. It makes me wonder if they are really that insecure about themselves that they have to be made to thought they are the only female in the universe the moment they are with you. The thought process which females have puzzles me. What could they possibly be thinking that they think they are not guilty of finding other people attractive, they are also just human. The only difference is they don’t say anything and may observe someone of the opposite sex more discretely. When it comes down to it all I can think of to explain this is that they would rather just not know what we really think and just want to know and see what makes them, feel secure. Personally I don’t mind a female looking at someone else or making a comment, this make me feel more trusting of them since they don’t feel the need to hide things.”
I found this to be extremely interesting because personally I think men don’t feel sensitive to these types of comments when women make them because women purposely think about the feelings of their partner and thus don’t make the same type of comments about men. I think that when men are making the comment they don’t realize that their girlfriends rarely ever make comments about other men, with the exception of celebrities and without the prompting of their own girlfriends around them. Also women may agree that a male is handsome etc, but a guy may not just agree that a woman is pretty but go into details about specific features of her that leaves their girlfriend to make physical and social comparisons (6536).

“I notice that the opposite sex will treat you very well when they are in need of help with manual labor. I can't count how many times I have been contacted with most sincere text messages followed by asking me to come by and move a piece of furniture.
Men are on average stronger than women, this is biological and therefore an advantage. 4575


1) was written so well or eloquently, or addressed such a personal issue, that it evoked a sincere sense of empathy in you?
“Females are for one, very caring. They are excellent at taking others' problems and internalizing them as their own to assist in helping to find solutions. Also, they tend to be much more organized than men. I rely on the women in my life to keep me on track with my appointments and cleaning of my room. Finally, women are very generous and will express their generosity even when it is not necessary.

For weaknesses, women tend to think emotionally, rather than logically. Also, while they are very detail-oriented it can sometimes bog them down with seemingly useless facts or analysis of situations. Also, constructive criticism can easily be interpreted as a personal attack to them.”
This evoked a sense of empathy in me because I feel that women are really susceptible to becoming sensitive as a result of constructive criticism. I think it is our empathic nature that makes it feel as though things are subjective even when they are objective. Yet in turn this is what allows us to be so generous and caring as well because we not only think about someone’s else’s actions in response to our own but also someone’s feelings and emotions (6536)



“Well, one instance would be that I am expected to drive to my girlfriend’s place every week, but she is reluctant to drive to my place. Note that she lives in Chino Hills which takes me an average of an hour to drive to. When I get there, I am expected to pay for dinner as well as the occasional movie that we attend. She doesn’t have a job at the moment, which can explain that, but she could at least drive to visit me on some weeks.”
I found this to be quite revealing as despite some women having this new sense of empowerment and breaking the traditional couple roles, a lot of women probably still think the man should really outdo himself on all aspects of the date or hangout, etc. Interestingly enough, I feel that this becomes a sense of imbalance that has to be discussed in almost every relationship. (6536)

The last girl that I was attracted to caught my interest by her personality and looks. She was beautiful and had a good amount of self-confidence, however, she was still humble and treated everyone around her the same way. She was funny, nice, easy to talk to, and was someone that you could spend hours with without getting tired or bored. With this being said, I believe that the most important factor for me to be attracted to a woman would be the potential I see that she could be my best friend while still staying physically attractive.

This reply made me smile and made me happy that men look for this in a woman, because this is what I hope to find in my male partner. Finding a similar and parallel outlook on what I want in a relationship is one of my goals and created a sort of empathy for me to not assume that every male just wants to hook up. (8701).

  1. 2. Question 7. Females make extremely good companions and friends. All throughout my life I have gravitated towards females because they tend to be more open-minded and accepting. Some of my first friends from elementary have been girls, and they were the first to include me in their activities without judgment. (4788)
I felt touched by this comment because it was genuine and addressed the friendly nature of women. Females may have their moments that are sometimes unreasonable, trust me I have had many of these moments, but for the part we mean well and are there to help others. We are very including, unless we have something against you, and are great friends. We are thoughtful in what we say and provide very good advice to those who need it. (2775)


In my last relationship, which lasted two years of college, my ex would sometimes get extremely emotionally unstable for no reason. What I find incomprehensible about women is their seemingly random emotional extremes. Small meaningless actions can spark strong responses that seem irrational to men. (2908)
This is such a common misunderstanding between men and women. It has been discussed in class how men are at times oblivious to the thoughts an needs of women. However, it is also true that women do overreact to certain situations. Take into account the fact that women do have more hormonal imbalances than do men; when we are on our periods our emotions are slightly less manageable and we don’t even understand it most of the time. One minute we can be having the time of our lives with our friends, laughing without a care in the world; and then the next minute we are curled up in bed watching Nicholas Sparks movies bawling our eyes out. Communication is key in this situation, you can sit there and blame us for being emotionally unstable all you want but 9/10 times we are correct in the way we feel. And if we are genuinely being emotionally unstable, try to reason with us and ask why they are feeling that way. (2775)



I like that the opposite sex allows you to do certain things that would otherwise be considered homosexual by my peers. For instance, drinking some alcoholic beverages without getting some negative remarks from my friends. I know that if I were to go out with some friends and order a Strawberry Daiquiri at least one of them will comment how gay I am. While this may be a stupid example, I feel that I am barricaded from many other things such as yoga, clothing, and even food choices.
I dislike that unless I prove otherwise, most females instantly consider me an emotionless meathead that only cares about eating, sleeping and fucking. I envision from a female's perspective that males are cave-men, who talk in the 3rd person and wander around all day looking for someone to have sex with. It’s like with every new female that I meet, I instantly start out as a womanizer with no dignity or decency and I must prove otherwise. Only after I have proven that I am not a sex crazed animal (varies depending on female, can take 5 minutes or months) do I feel like I receive a mutual decency and I'm treated like a human been. (5768)
I find this interesting because if any of your friends consider you “gay” for drinking a daiquiri then they are just acting out of jealousy because they do not have the balls to order a drink they actually enjoy. The term “Fuckboy” is very commonly used by women to describe men that are clearly emotionally detached from forming a relationship and will do whatever they can to sleep with the girl they are intrigued in for the night. Not all women consider men emotionless meatheads. The reasoning behind thinking this way is because most women have had encountered their fair share of fuckboys and feel a sense of hopelessness in ever finding a genuine and great guy. Maybe if you changed your own preconceived idea of how women perceive you, you could allow yourself to enjoy the conversation with the female instead of blaming her for thinking a certain way of you that is likely untrue. Im gonna take it way back to kindergarten and say: treat others the way you want to be treated. If you want a female to not think of you as a fuckboy, don’t treat her like she’s a piece of meat you are just willing to fuck and never speak to again and she wont treat you like the fuckboy you aren’t. Although, there are also times where women are sometimes standoffish towards men because, as I state before, they have had bad experiences in the past. This is also another situation in which communication and nonverbal communication is important. If a girl is not interested in you, then leave it and find someone else that is worth your time. Try to see it from their aspect, and maybe you will understand why they act a certain way towards men when they first meet them. (2775)





The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to suppress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent.
I believe women are looking for certain benchmarks of emotion, such as sharing all our problems or insecurities with them, and asking how their day went. When these certain criteria are not met, they mistakenly assume that emotions are simply not the male forte. Guys care, and think about emotions a lot. We just do not always need to express them. (0645)

While I certainly understand this perspective, I also believe that expressing emotions allow for females to feel a deeper sense of intimacy. I wonder if this is true for men as well. I think, especially in a relationship, it is important to express love in a way that the receiving partner can understand it. (4640)

The stereotype about men and emotions seems to be one of the biggest misunderstandings. In general, it seems that women either believe that men are emotionless or do not care for emotions. This is in fact untrue, and I believe I can say this not just for myself but even for the most "macho" kind of male. I know that I do my best to suppress displaying sadness or insecurity, admittedly sometimes because of the cultural pressure to be masculine or for other reasons. However, I know that I am also very much in touch with my emotions, and have even been complimented as being emotionally intelligent.
I believe women are looking for certain benchmarks of emotion, such as sharing all our problems or insecurities with them, and asking how their day went. When these certain criteria are not met, they mistakenly assume that emotions are simply not the male forte. Guys care, and think about emotions a lot. We just do not always need to express them. (0645)

While I certainly understand this perspective, I also believe that expressing emotions allow for females to feel a deeper sense of intimacy. I wonder if this is true for men as well. I think, especially in a relationship, it is important to express love in a way that the receiving partner can understand it. (4640)